Seewalds 38: Waiting on Seaweed Three

[VeryNikeSeamstress]

On 2/6/2019 at 5:36 PM, VineHeart137 said:

One time we were at a birthday party for one of my daughter's friends and the birthday girl's brother got his hands on a Barbie. I heard his mom verbally question why he was holding it and his grandmother ended up taking it away and encouraging him to go play trucks with his brother. You could literally see the disappointment on this kid's face as he halfheartedly pushed around a toy dump truck. It was really sad. I really don't know what harm they expected to come from a kid playing with a Barbie.

This reminds me of this commercial from 1999:

Spoiler

 

 

[Glasgowghirl]

9 hours ago, Sullie06 said:

I hated when she did that too because you could see it upset Kristina too. They made the trip to LA, they watched your newborn to give you a night off, they are raising your daughter. The least she could have done was include Kristina in the paragliding trip, or at least asked if she wanted to tag along. Amber is lazy and she's lucky she has Kristina and Gary for else Leah would be a mess.

She also had little Emilee in tears because one minute she thinks she is going with her mum, sister and Amber to get her nails done and the next minute Amber takes Leah out without her and the poor child is probably wondering why Leah is getting to go out and she isn't. Amber at the very least should have bought her something to make up for it.

[NotQuiteMotY]

On 2/8/2019 at 11:14 PM, Meggo said:

I don't have a girl - and it's not likely I will. But I do like to think I'd have bought the same things for a girl that we bought for our son. I was surprised HOW many blue, with trucks things we got - everything had trucks on it. Books about trucks, play trucks, shirts with trucks, socks with trucks. It was overwhelming & I kept trying to think it was because of Hubs business and NOT that our son was a boy - but... I don't know. 

It might be? Our son gets a TON of train stuff. I suspect it's partly the gender expectation, but a lot of it is probably that he enjoys them and that his father is a railfan and works indirectly with railroads.

I'm finding the sex/gender discussion fascinating, especially what people were wanting/expecting with pregnancies. When I was pregnant the first time, I was darn sure it was a boy, and that was what I wanted, probably because of growing up with older brothers. Now, this time around, I'm conflicted. I know the gender expectations are probably ridiculous, but I kind of want a girl this time around. I mean, I want a baby, especially a healthy baby, and will be happy either way, but I kind of want that healthy baby to be a girl. It's very strange. I suspect part of it is that this will probably be our last. Add in that I suspect it will be a boy anyway, though I'm nowhere near as sure as I was the first time around, and the name-based drama that may result if it's a girl, and it's very confusing in my head right now! 

I keep comparing to a friend of mine, whose son is fairly close in age to mine. First time around, she was sure she was having a girl until the 20-week ultrasound and told me she wasn't sure what she was going to do with a boy; now she says that when they have a second she wants another boy! It's interesting to see how people react to the expectations versus the actual child.

[mizandry]

Just popping in because I'm watching a 1935 documentary called Housing Problems and did a double take around 14:23 because that kid looks so much like Spurgeon. SHOOK

 

[AtlanticTug]

6 hours ago, NotQuiteMotY said:

I mean, I want a baby, especially a healthy baby, and will be happy either way, but I kind of want that healthy baby to be a girl. It's very strange. I suspect part of it is that this will probably be our last. Add in that I suspect it will be a boy anyway, though I'm nowhere near as sure as I was the first time around, and the name-based drama that may result if it's a girl, and it's very confusing in my head right now! 

My SIL just found out they are having a 2nd boy. She was pretty open about her disappointment and I am fairly sure a lot of it has to do with the fact that if this baby was a girl they would stop at 2. Now they will most likely have a third, to try for a girl. To me this sounds kind of extreme - I mean you're just as likely to get a third boy and then you have 3 kids when your lifestyle and finances and family size would probably have been better off with 2. But I would never say that out loud, sometimes I think that because I have one of each it's impossible for me to really understand the complexity of those feelings.

[lumpentheologie]

It doesn't really make sense to me that people get so fixed on the idea of their baby's sex and gender. Sex is hardly a surefire indicator of gender, so trying for an extra baby just so you can have a girl seems to put a ton of pressure on that child to really be a girl, whether they ultimately identify that way or not. Choosing your kid's gender for them in advance seems as harmful and unrealistic as choosing their future profession. (And I'm sure there are many people who would like the "experience" of having their child become a doctor/lawyer/whatever.)

[Knight of Ni]

I know of a family that had six daughters before giving up on having a boy. 

[tabitha2]

Heard of one family who had 22 girls and no boys. They were determined I guess. Gotta give him that.

[AprilQuilt]

16 hours ago, mizandry said:

Just popping in because I'm watching a 1935 documentary called Housing Problems and did a double take around 14:23 because that kid looks so much like Spurgeon. SHOOK

 

Ooh, I must watch this. Looks interesting! I don't know if you're in the UK but the Wellcome Collection has a really good exhibition on at the moment - Living with Buildings - which concerns slum clearance, local authority homes, garden cities etc. I'm very interested in the 20th century initiatives to improve/dictate the way (particularly working-class) people lived.

(also, if any of those Stepney houses are still standing they'll be worth a fortune now)

[VeryNikeSeamstress]

5 hours ago, tabitha2 said:

Heard of one family who had 22 girls and no boys. They were determined I guess. Gotta give him that.

22 girls in one family! If they followed the tradition that the bride's family pays for the wedding, that would be very expensive (even if only some of them got married). Out of all those girls there had to be some tomboys.

[Eponine]

My grandparents had 5 boys before getting a girl - and whether it's because of having 5 older brothers or just her nature, she ended up enjoying the most typically "masculine" activities of all of them! My grandmother had, and still has, a really hard time relating to my aunt because she desperately wanted a doll-type daughter rather than a rough-and-tumble one.

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

My MIL just HAD to have a girl, she had 5 boys with her monster 1st husband, Finally had enough of him divorced him remarried and finally got her daughter.  

[VelociRapture]

Catching up:

I refer to my daughter as my mini me. She used to be my husband's mini me because she looked just like him, but she outgrew the initial newborn potato stage and now she is much more of a mix between us. She definitely has my eyes and coloring though, so people tend to think she resembles me more. There are times she’ll make a certain expression though and she looks just like my husband. 

We purposely tried to avoid tons of gender stereotypical items when she was younger. As soon as she started making her preferences known we started respecting her likes and disikes. Right now that means she has Minnie Mouse shoes and bedding, is obsesssed with her Mickey Mouse and Harry Potter shirts, loves dogs, loves pink, enjoys painting and coloring, always wants to help us cook and clean, enjoys playing outside, adores Daniel Tiger, loves Billy Joel, and enjoys playing coffee and tea. We feel it’s our job as her parents to help her explore different interests and support her in whatever she decides she likes best, not force her to like whatever we deem best.

My sister struggled with disappointment over her sons’ sex to an extent and it did contribute a bit to her PPD after having her first - although, that was mostly because she agreed to wait until the birth to find out the sex. The postpartum hormones made everything more difficult for her. They found out the sex of their second son at the anatomy scan and she was able to get over her feelings pretty quickly that time. She uses the #boymom on Instagram, but I think that’s out of pride for her little guys to be honest. She absolutely adores her boys and they adore her back. It’s so cute!

I’m usually very understanding of people expressing disappointment in the sex of their child. I’m having a tougher time with that lately though because I’d be happy just having the chance to have a second baby. Which isn’t fair at all, but it can be tough trying to remain fair and objective when you’re kind of frustrated and feeling a bit sad. 

[SportsgalAnnie]

I was the only girl in a group of boys, people hoped I'd be girly...Thankfully not my parents. If I ever have a kid I just hope they're happy and healthy.

I'm glad to see others that are ok with letting kids choose who they want to be.

[Adrienne83]

On 2/6/2019 at 8:36 PM, VineHeart137 said:

Same! My daughter is in ballet and loves to dress up in "princess" dresses. She also loves dinosaurs, wearing superhero capes, and has asked for the theme of her birthday party this year to be The Flash. It's pretty awesome!

One time we were at a birthday party for one of my daughter's friends and the birthday girl's brother got his hands on a Barbie. I heard his mom verbally question why he was holding it and his grandmother ended up taking it away and encouraging him to go play trucks with his brother. You could literally see the disappointment on this kid's face as he halfheartedly pushed around a toy dump truck. It was really sad. I really don't know what harm they expected to come from a kid playing with a Barbie.

This make sure me incredibly sad. I have two boys. My youngest LOVES fire trucks. But he loves his Barbies more. He was thrilled that Santa brought him more dollies for Christmas. He and oldest fight over them. There's enough in the house where I tell them that whoever has it first gets to play with it and the other can play with a different Dollie. My oldest doesn't care about the Barbie car, and my youngest happily pushes his dollies around in their Volvo. 

[Bad Wolf]

Back in the dark ages we had to wait until the baby was born to find out the sex. I did have an ultrasound with my second, and the doctor said it was a girl. It was a very grainy black and white picture. I couldn't even tell there was a baby there at all. Anyway, turned out to be a boy. We were happy with whatever we got.

We did have the method of determining the baby's sex by suspending your wedding band over your stomach. Depending on which way it moved, showed whether you were having a boy or a girl. It was very scientific.

[weirdemmaline]

I don't know too terribly much about my grandparents' thought process going into having the seven kids they had, beyond they were Catholic, but I am willing to bet that my grandpa wanted a boy, as I have six aunts and a single uncle who is something like 13 years older than me.

[Carm_88]

Spoiler

Jessa and Ben had a quiet Valentines Day in with Spurgeon and Henry. Ben did a video on Jessa’s Instagram story about all the food 

[Meggo]

8 hours ago, Adrienne83 said:

This make sure me incredibly sad. I have two boys. My youngest LOVES fire trucks. But he loves his Barbies more. He was thrilled that Santa brought him more dollies for Christmas. He and oldest fight over them. There's enough in the house where I tell them that whoever has it first gets to play with it and the other can play with a different Dollie. My oldest doesn't care about the Barbie car, and my youngest happily pushes his dollies around in their Volvo. 

I have a friend who has three kids - one girl and two boys. Her oldest son (the middle child) is a sweet kid - he's a very old soul. And he looooves him some princesses. And he looooves sewing. And I have to give her credit - they pounce on anything he's interested in. When he was 2 and desperately wanted princesses for Christmas - they got him a wooden castle like doll house, with some princesses that fit in that scale, I think they got him a carriage to go with it - all the tricked out everything for that castle. 

When he was maybe 2 or 3, I spotted a bag in their car with Barbie's poking out of it and I said "Oh - is this YourDaughters bag?" My friend said "Oh no - that's MySon's bag. Those are his Barbies." Rock on kiddo! (he said he liked princesses and barbies because they were just so pretty) 

He takes sewing lessons now (he's probably 11?) and he's just ... he's an old soul. He's told his Mommy (at age 3) that he was at her wedding (he wasn't - he wasn't born yet). He - at age 4 - arranged it with Daddy for him (the son) to take Mommy on a date. (And daddy was sweet- he arranged it with the restaurant ahead of time so the boy could "pay" with Daddy's credit card - just like he was a grown up). He is just a great kid and I love they encourage whatever he is interested in.

[SorenaJ]

I'm a bit jealous of people's kids who are into barbies. I never was when I was a child. I just didn't have the imagination or creativity to play with them. I would hold a a barbie and be like "what am I supposed to do with that?" I did love decorating their houses. I had a bookcase (think Ikea Kallax style), and would make each shelf into a different room with all the barbie furniture. Then I got The Sims and the bookcase was forgotten. 

[Alisamer]

28 minutes ago, SorenaJ said:

I'm a bit jealous of people's kids who are into barbies. I never was when I was a child. I just didn't have the imagination or creativity to play with them. I would hold a a barbie and be like "what am I supposed to do with that?" I did love decorating their houses. I had a bookcase (think Ikea Kallax style), and would make each shelf into a different room with all the barbie furniture. Then I got The Sims and the bookcase was forgotten. 

My sisters and I loved our barbies! We had the townhouse with the elevator where you had to pull the string to make it go up. We also used to lump up a blanket on the bed and pretend the barbies were all lost in the mountains and living in caves in the blanket - survivor style but before Survivor. I had the department store play set, so we'd arrange all the stuff for "sale" in the store and have a barbie be the salesperson and others shopping in the store. 

I then got out of dolls for many years, but about 10 years ago discovered BJDs and now my house is full of dolls, and I'm decorating rooms for them on their shelves sometimes. I also love Transformers, and have since I was a kid. I'm a big fan of letting kids like what they like. They're just kids! My friend has two sons, they have dolls, they have trucks, they like to make things out of big boxes, they're kids.

[nolongerIFBx]

On 2/14/2019 at 11:57 AM, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

My MIL just HAD to have a girl, she had 5 boys with her monster 1st husband, Finally had enough of him divorced him remarried and finally got her daughter.  

Should have figured out a little quicker that its the male that determines the sex!

[Vivi_music]

I've never been a Barbie hater. I have seen a lot criticism online about Barbie's body being too unrealistic. Which can be fair (even if it never seemed like an issue for me as a kid who played with Barbies). Mattel has started to make more body variety dolls a few years ago and while some might see it as opportunistic (which I don't doubt it is, Mattel is a capitalist compagny like any other), it is also a sign of the times and I am fine with it. The real thing I loved about Barbie though and I don't think a lot of people realized that: she is a total feminist icon. Barbie did all sorts of professions, had jobs, did some artistic activities, sports, etc. She owned cars, houses, name it. All in her name. That is pretty darn cool.

I loved mine when I was a girl and played with it until (shamefully) late (think maybe 13 YO). I had ONE friend with whom playing Barbie was OUR thing. She'd bring over her own bag full of Barbies, clothes and home furniture. We would set up the whole play room in the basement for our scenario. I'd more than happy if I have a boy one day who loves to play with Barbies (or if he does not as well).

[just_ordinary]

I loved my Barbies too and I never compared her looks to me or any other human being. She was obviously a doll. I don’t know, but there are so many different dolls out here and they are obviously not really looking like real humans (especially fabric dolls) so this was never an issue. I was much more shocked about the whole „divorce Ken“ storyline. Thank God I was way out of my Barbie playing age at that time. I mean seriously, when I was a child I NEVER thought about it as to be intended as a „real“ family/friend set up. There were just dolls. I was completely surprised that the company went that route.

But this is a trend I see in many popular toys. Instead of providing the bits and the children imagine their own worlds, companies deliver their toys now in pre set up worlds. Lego and Barbie are just two prominent examples. When I was a kid you bought bricks/dolls+clothing sets and maybe one or two set ups (Lego castle/Barbie house) the rest was up to us. Now everything seems to be ready made and often set in with a popular movie. The sets/dolls are so designed that they always refer to it and are not a blank page anymore.

[Someone Out There]

6 hours ago, just_ordinary said:

But this is a trend I see in many popular toys. Instead of providing the bits and the children imagine their own worlds, companies deliver their toys now in pre set up worlds. Lego and Barbie are just two prominent examples. When I was a kid you bought bricks/dolls+clothing sets and maybe one or two set ups (Lego castle/Barbie house) the rest was up to us. Now everything seems to be ready made and often set in with a popular movie. The sets/dolls are so designed that they always refer to it and are not a blank page anymore.

I'm not sure why Barbie is doing this, but Lego started making more of the sets instead of the random free play after they were going bust (I watched some doco about the lego factory, potentially one of the megafactory ones where they discussed this).  I'm not sure if it has something to do with the adult market as well (i.e. a number of adults probably want to buy sets of stuff).