Counting On Season 8/9/10 2: How low will they go? (CW: Miscarriage)

[Melissa1977]

Happy birthday to our first-borndaughter, Melissa1977! It is so hard to believe you are already 42! We literally have no memories of you since you were born and frequently forget your name! But, we are so proud of the precious, Godly womanthat you have become. You have such wonderful skills in the kitchen and we love the way that you honor and serve Christ with your homestyle, God-approved recipes.We are just so excited to see what the Lord has in store for you as you enter this new season of life. We love you so very much, Happy Birthday!

[Alice in Fundieland]

@singsingsing I did a double-take when I noticed Rufus was gone from your avatar, but I love who has replaced him. As this author stated, that image sustains me. 

[singsingsing]

1 minute ago, Alice in Fundieland said:

@singsingsing I did a double-take when I noticed Rufus was gone from your avatar, but I love who has replaced him. As this author stated, that image sustains me. 

Rufus shall return, but Nancy Pelosi is currently my spirit animal.

[lumpentheologie]

@allthegoodnamesrgone and @karen77, I'm curious what inspired you to get married so quickly. Of course feel free not to answer if I'm getting too personal, but I'm always surprised when non-fundies do this. Is it normal among the people you know? 

Several people commented that it was really fast for my husband and I to get engaged after only dating for 2 and a half years, so my experience is very different. We had to explain pretty often that visa issues sped up our timeline, but most people I know of my generation are together for 5-10 years before getting married. 

Did you feel like you couldn't be together in a meaningful way without being married?  It just seems so strange to me to decide to make a lifetime commitment to someone you only recently met.  The only reasons I could imagine doing it is if I wasn't allowed to have sex without being married, or if I got pregnant in a society that would really punish me for having children without being married. And both of those seem like making the best of a pretty bad situation. 

[karen77]

55 minutes ago, lumpentheologie said:

@allthegoodnamesrgone and @karen77, I'm curious what inspired you to get married so quickly. Of course feel free not to answer if I'm getting too personal, but I'm always surprised when non-fundies do this. Is it normal among the people you know? 

Several people commented that it was really fast for my husband and I to get engaged after only dating for 2 and a half years, so my experience is very different. We had to explain pretty often that visa issues sped up our timeline, but most people I know of my generation are together for 5-10 years before getting married. 

Did you feel like you couldn't be together in a meaningful way without being married?  It just seems so strange to me to decide to make a lifetime commitment to someone you only recently met.  The only reasons I could imagine doing it is if I wasn't allowed to have sex without being married, or if I got pregnant in a society that would really punish me for having children without being married. And both of those seem like making the best of a pretty bad situation. 

This is totally NOT normal for me. I was in a 6 year relationship prior to this.  Also, he had been married before and I was 29 right after we met (like 9 days after our first date) and he is 2.5 years older than me. 

We just hit it off immediately, I moved in a month after we met and we were engaged a month after that, he flew back to MT for Xmas that year to see my mom with me (I had tix from before we had met, and for reference Nov 4 was our first date).

Honestly, it was so out of character for me, but it just felt right, and just being bf/gf didn't seem to fit the bill to how we felt about each other, if that makes sense. 

It was a case of when you know, you know, you know? We bought a house together  a few months after engagement and prior to the wedding. My dad was skeptical at first, but by the time the wedding happened (probably sooner) I swear he like's my DH more than me! lol (and I'm an only kid). 

 

Sex wasn't an issue, and I wasn't pregnant! So not a factor there. It was just putting it into writing so to speak..... both of us feel like taking it to marriage is showing our commitment level to others and our selves and so, to have that be evident, that's was the path to take. 

I wouldn't want my kids to follow this specifically, not without plenty of life experience in the mean time... but it can work!

 

Does that help? I think if you met us, you'd get it too. 

[Pecansforeveryone]

I also think age can have something to do with it. The Duggars are both very young and have chaperoned courtships and very short courtships to boot. 5-10 years strikes me as the other extreme which is fine since marriage is a life-long committment. I understand 5-10 years if you met when you were 19. I see no absolute, iron-clad reason for a 30 year old to wait 10 or even 5 years to marry their SO. I know many non-fundies where 2-3 years was the normal dating period before engagement.  2-3 years is a potential world of difference from 2-3 months of dating. 

[karen77]

7 minutes ago, Pecansforeveryone said:

I also think age can have something to do with it. The Duggars are both very young and have chaperoned courtships and very short courtships to boot. 5-10 years strikes me as the other extreme which is fine since marriage is a life-long committment. I understand 5-10 years if you met when you were 19. I see no absolute, iron-clad reason for a 30 year old to wait 10 or even 5 years to marry their SO. I know many non-fundies where 2-3 years was the normal dating period before engagement.  2-3 years is a potential world of difference from 2-3 months of dating. 

5-10 seems really long to date, my 6 yr relationship was that long because of college, and that's reasonable for anyone I think. But once you are out of school and in on your way to life, past 25 or so that's a long dating period!! 1-2 years is normal though.

[Pecansforeveryone]

I was 35 when I met my husband. We dated for a year before becoming engaged. We had a year long-engagement and married at 37. We had lived together early on. In fact he nursed me back to health after a broken ankle while in early stages of dating. I certainly support measures to really get to know the person before marrying them. 

[JordynDarby5]

2 hours ago, karen77 said:

5-10 seems really long to date, my 6 yr relationship was that long because of college, and that's reasonable for anyone I think. But once you are out of school and in on your way to life, past 25 or so that's a long dating period!! 1-2 years is normal though.

You've never met my dad's family. Each of my cousins, my aunt and her husband, uncle and his wife all dated for years before getting married. Five years is the earliest anyone has ever gotten married on his side. My brother included although in their case her parents said they'd pay for the entire wedding if they waited until she graduated college since they weren't in a rush that was fine with them. But when her parents changed their minds they decided to get married and that was six years. Same with having kids having kids five years after marriage is considered fast for that branch. My brother was after nine years, one cousin eight years, her sister seven years, six years for two more cousins, and eighteen years. That one loves to joke that she and her husband almost forgot to have kids. They got graduated college, got married, went into their careers insurance started, traveled a ton, bought a house redid it all, and then when she turned forty remembered they didn't have kids yet. If they wanted kids they probably should get to work on that.  We love to joke on with that branch we're just not in a rush. We don't rush into marriage, don't rush into having kids. 

My parents got married after seven months Dad's mom thought my mom was a hussy. That was just way too soon for any couple.  Mom's branch was the complete opposite. Not afraid at all to rush into things. Her brother was married three times in the same year. Their parents married a month after they met and so did their aunt and uncle which technically both marriages were happy since the aunt was the only one who didn't think the guy she married was an asshole (he was). My cousin has been married and divorced so many time each woman was the "one" although its possibly he married each one before they realized he was a lazy, unemployed bum they just got saddles with. My great-grandparents married three months after meeting although great-grandma was technically still married to her first husband during all of their dating. She left him moved to a new state and apartment right over my great-grandpa's shop. She didn't expect to meet anyone so quick and mailed in the paperwork. But mail was slow and they wanted to get married so they decided one day to just get married. His parents made them get married again eight months later just to be sure because they most likely got married before the divorce was finalized. Although all that could also be why Dad's mom was a hussy and didn't think the marriage was going to last.

[Bad Wolf]

4.5 months and 43 years. 

do I get a prize?

[nst]

10 minutes ago, Bad Wolf said:

4.5 months and 43 years. 

do I get a prize?

a brownie or an image in your mind of ben's bicep

 

[Buzzard]

On 2/3/2019 at 8:55 PM, KeshetParparNesicha said:

Has anyone seen this Duggar birthday message generator yet? H/T to the reddit user who created it.

https://form.jotform.com/90314848609160

 

THis. IS. AMAZING

[PainfullyAware]

I got engaged after 6 months at 23. I really couldn't believe I'd made a lifetime commitment that fast, but we just knew. I wanted a long engagement of a year or two. After my parents' ugly divorce, in the back of my mind I felt like I couldn't trust myself that young, and everyone says you change when you get older. My family been quite skeptical of such a serious relationship at a young age, and I wanted to give them time to come around. I wanted them at the wedding. We didn't tell them about the engagement right away, but they could tell it was very serious, at one point  my mom  even asked if we had eloped (in the same conversation she told me to really think carefully about the genetics of a partner to my potential future offspring!) 

Then health issues and the recession got in the way so we didn't marry for 6 years- with supportive parents in attendance! But we felt like we'd made a vow to be life partners with the engagement. 11 years later I can see why my parents would be skeptical! 

A lot of my friends aren't married, but cohabitating. One friend eloped after 3 months, most got engaged after 2 to 3 years, with a year long engagement, some waited as long as we did. Years is definitely more common then months!

[LilMissMetaphor]

22 hours ago, karen77 said:

I have a similar story!! (10 months total) and 12 years now...

Me three.  Married within a year of meeting and it'll be 17 years this fall.

Not saying it's easy, especially when you're from different countries, but here we are.

[singsingsing]

Can someone explain to me why the Duggars and Bateses have this thing about decorating their parents' beds for Valentine's Day/anniversaries with all kind of romantic stuff? Just, wtf? I like to think I'm a pretty sex positive person, but I stop short of decorating my parents' beds with hearts, chocolates, massage oils, etc. 

[QuiverFullofBooks]

The Counting On promo photo just came across my Facebook feed. It’s the three couples with new babies and the two newlywed couples. In other words, no Jana and no Jessa. Jana’s never been heavily featured, but Jessa’s been the heart of the show. So just because she didn’t pop out a kid during the latest round of filming, she doesn’t get to be in the photo? Ouch.

[Pecansforeveryone]

I hate defending TLC, I really do. I can see putting the newlyweds and new parents on the promo because weddings and births are all Counting On really focuses on and then beating us over the head by showing the weddings 2-3 times. Even the leg bumpers have noticed this and started mentioning it on the Dugger blog. Same old, same old from TLC. 

[Carm_88]

11 hours ago, singsingsing said:

Can someone explain to me why the Duggars and Bateses have this thing about decorating their parents' beds for Valentine's Day/anniversaries with all kind of romantic stuff? Just, wtf? I like to think I'm a pretty sex positive person, but I stop short of decorating my parents' beds with hearts, chocolates, massage oils, etc. 

I have always been dumbfounded by that. I don't know why the kids are so involved in the whole Valentine's thing, but they are. It's odd. 

[Pecansforeveryone]

There is virtually nothing these fundies do with sex and sexuality that isn't dumbfounding. Decorating your parents bedrooms for sexy times  is a-ok?! Front hugs and going on solo dates for coffee during courtship are a no-no?! I mean, it's not like they are going to dry hump in a coffee shop. That's what mini-golf courses are for for Rufuses sake. 

[neurogirl]

Neuroboy and I got engaged after 5 years of dating (and married 366 days later). At the wedding, I was 25, he was 26. He is the youngest of 4 but the first to get married and MIL fielded comments from their circle (East Coast) that we were very young. Meanwhile my Midwestern family was getting antsy after we had been together for 3 years, were just graduating college, and were in our very young 20s. 

We've discussed trying for kids when I'm 29/30, which would once again be still early for his side (his siblings won't have kids until their mid-late 30s at least, if at all and we could be the first and/or only procreating ones), but later for mine.

BUT then again my in-laws were married 10 months after meeting, and weren't exactly a success story so I think the next generation has been (perhaps overly) cautious in response. Ah life. So many ways to do it. 

[Coconut Flan]

Quote

Love Is in the Air

With the due date near, Jinger and Jeremy get ready to meet baby Vuolo.   Meanwhile, John whisks Abbie away on a surprise trip to ask for her hand in marriage.  Later, Jinger's labor takes an unexpected turn.

The first episode of the new season is available on many cable/satellite On Demand programming listings.

[CaricatureQualities]

There is going to be an hour long "sneek peek" to the season premier before episode 1. Apparently this will cover Jessa , Joy and Joe and their spouses having a "dinner from around the world" where they will make things inspired by their honeymoons. Just like last time. Or is it the exact same dinner? After that Joe and Kendra welcome their baby. So, is it just stuff from last season they are going to recycle as a "countdown to the new season"?

I don't think TLC is truly satisfied unless they can use the exact same footage at least 3 times in 3 different  separate episodes. 

[singsingsing]

1 minute ago, CaricatureQualities said:

There is going to be an hour long "sneek peek" to the season premier before episode 1. Apparently this will cover Jessa , Joy and Joe and their spouses having a "dinner from around the world" where they will make things inspired by their honeymoons. Just like last time. Or is it the exact same dinner? After that Joe and Kendra welcome their baby. So, is it just stuff from last season they are going to recycle as a "countdown to the new season"?

I don't think TLC is truly satisfied unless they can use the exact same footage at least 3 times in 3 different  separate episodes. 

That sounds like they're just playing a rerun.

[JemimaPuddle-Duck]

On 2/8/2019 at 10:30 AM, Bad Wolf said:

4.5 months and 43 years. 

do I get a prize?

Three months from first date to wedding (and we weren’t friends first), but only nearing two decades.  I was 21 and he was 33. We just knew. It wasn’t exactly love at first sight, but pretty much love at first long and meaningful conversation. 

[HermioneSparrow]

I was reading these love stories of you all and feeling better (?) Lol I've been with my boyfriend for 6 months and even though we're not engaged (yet), we've talked about marriage... Maybe because we're in a long distance relationship but I honestly think this is gonna go fast and we'll be married next year hopefully. When you know, you know.