Counting On Season 8/9/10 2: How low will they go? (CW: Miscarriage)

[Angelic83]

The next episode is going to be in april???? If they are going this rate by the end of the season Jessa will have had threewald and on the show the would have just anounced the pregnancy. Talk about messed up timelines......

[VBOY9977]

23 minutes ago, Angelic83 said:

The next episode is going to be in april???? If they are going this rate by the end of the season Jessa will have had threewald and on the show the would have just anounced the pregnancy. Talk about messed up timelines......

It’s not in April... 

 

[Angelic83]

@scamvangelist ah that makes more sense. It was just because of the previous posters screenshot that said april ??. 

[just_ordinary]

On 2/8/2019 at 4:22 PM, lumpentheologie said:

@allthegoodnamesrgone and @karen77, I'm curious what inspired you to get married so quickly. Of course feel free not to answer if I'm getting too personal, but I'm always surprised when non-fundies do this. Is it normal among the people you know? 

Several people commented that it was really fast for my husband and I to get engaged after only dating for 2 and a half years, so my experience is very different. We had to explain pretty often that visa issues sped up our timeline, but most people I know of my generation are together for 5-10 years before getting married. 

Did you feel like you couldn't be together in a meaningful way without being married?  It just seems so strange to me to decide to make a lifetime commitment to someone you only recently met.  The only reasons I could imagine doing it is if I wasn't allowed to have sex without being married, or if I got pregnant in a society that would really punish me for having children without being married. And both of those seem like making the best of a pretty bad situation. 

I am too a member of this group. Three months from meeting to engagement. Another year till our wedding. It will be ten years this year. I was 22 when I married.

The only reasons I can give is that we were madly in love, probably a bit naive and have both parents that married young and are still very happy. But they didn’t encourage us to marry at all. They were rather surprised. Non of our siblings did anything like that. My brother in law married after a longer relationship and my brothers are enjoying casual sex without commitment right now.

We both had sex before our wedding: with each other and in ex-relationships. That’s kind of the norm around here. So, no motivation there.

We are both christened (Protestant and Church of England) but church teachings have no impact on our lives. We aren’t going to church but for Easter and Christmas.

It’s definitely not normal to marry that young and fast (or at all) in our social bubble. My friends were horrified. My relatives too. I know some thought I was pregnant- not that this would have been a reason to marry.

So, there you go. No specific reason at all. That’s just who we are.

[lumpentheologie]

27 minutes ago, just_ordinary said:

I am too a member of this group. Three months from meeting to engagement. Another year till our wedding. It will be ten years this year. I was 22 when I married.

The only reasons I can give is that we were madly in love, probably a bit naive and have both parents that married young and are still very happy. But they didn’t encourage us to marry at all. They were rather surprised. Non of our siblings did anything like that. My brother in law married after a longer relationship and my brothers are enjoying casual sex without commitment right now.

We both had sex before our wedding: with each other and in ex-relationships. That’s kind of the norm around here. So, no motivation there.

We are both christened (Protestant and Church of England) but church teachings have no impact on our lives. We aren’t going to church but for Easter and Christmas.

It’s definitely not normal to marry that young and fast (or at all) in our social bubble. My friends were horrified. My relatives too. I know some thought I was pregnant- not that this would have been a reason to marry.

So, there you go. No specific reason at all. That’s just who we are.

Thanks, that makes sense, actually. My husband and I decided after four months of seeing each other that we were in love and wanted to be boyfriend and girlfriend, so I guess some people who are less tentative about commitment just decide for engagement at that point!

[just_ordinary]

5 minutes ago, lumpentheologie said:

Thanks, that makes sense, actually. My husband and I decided after four months of seeing each other that we were in love and wanted to be boyfriend and girlfriend, so I guess some people who are less tentative about commitment just decide for engagement at that point!

Yeah. Maybe. We decided to be in a monogamous relationship after our second date. We met. Had a date where I took him home (didn’t have sex but clearly wanted it). When he called a few hours after he left in the morning it was clear that this would not be just an intended ONS but a relationship. 

I will say though, that dating here is very different than what I heard from the US. You either date and have casual sex/ONS or you are interested, have a relationship and it will work out or not. Long term dating without a relationship or with several people is a but unusual.

[lumpentheologie]

16 minutes ago, just_ordinary said:

I will say though, that dating here is very different than what I heard from the US. You either date and have casual sex/ONS or you are interested, have a relationship and it will work out or not. Long term dating without a relationship or with several people is a but unusual.

My husband is German and the beginning of our relationship happened totally in Germany (that's where you are, right?) but I'm American. Both of us were only looking for something casual when we met, not a one night stand, but someone you enjoy being around and can have sex with repeatedly. I thought I was only going to be in the country for a year.  Both of us were in grad programs and didn't know where we would find jobs. We just ended up liking each other a lot more than we expected. 

I do agree that dating is different here.  In my experience men are much less forward, to the point that it's hard to even tell if they're interested. Also there seems to be the idea that kissing someone is a pretty good indication you want to have sex with them, which is definitely not the case in the US.  This was very confusing for me on my first date with my now-husband, since we had already said we wanted to see each other again but when we parted ways he didn't even try to kiss me. I thought maybe he just wanted to be friends? 

[Coconut Flan]

4 hours ago, Angelic83 said:

@scamvangelist ah that makes more sense. It was just because of the previous posters screenshot that said april ??. 

My mind or my fingers had a temporary lapse of connection it seems.

[Chickenbutt]

9 hours ago, just_ordinary said:

We are both christened (Protestant and Church of England) but church teachings have no impact on our lives. We aren’t going to church but for Easter and Christmas.

Can I ask an honest question? No snark, no judgement. If the church teachings have no impact on your lives, then why do you go to Church on Easter and Christmas? 

[singsingsing]

10 minutes ago, Chickenbutt said:

Can I ask an honest question? No snark, no judgement. If the church teachings have no impact on your lives, then why do you go to Church on Easter and Christmas? 

I'm not the person you asked, but plenty of people go to church on special holidays because it's tradition, because they like the music or the service, because it makes their family happy, because there are people there they want to see... There are a whole bunch of reasons someone might attend church on a holiday even if the teachings have no impact on their life.

[Chickenbutt]

@singsingsingThat's fair. 

[tabitha2]

It seems to me It would be better to just have a big traditional party every year then it if Music, dressing up and seeing friends is all you are after. 

[singsingsing]

24 minutes ago, tabitha2 said:

It seems to me It would be better to just have a big traditional party every year then it if Music, dressing up and seeing friends is all you are after. 

But that's what those church services are...

[tabitha2]

I was taught Church is Gods party and he should be the main event and focus, Both host and honored guest at once. If your focus is  showing off new clothes or upholding some family tradition you can do that at your own gathering not his . YMMV though. 

[singsingsing]

10 minutes ago, tabitha2 said:

I was taught Church is Gods party and he should be the main event and focus, Both host and honored guest at once. If your focus is  showing off new clothes or upholding some family tradition you can do that at your own gathering not his . YMMV though. 

Plenty of people don't believe in God and therefore don't believe they're offending any entity by attending church for reasons other than to worship him.

[tabitha2]

An atheist going to church twice a year seems very odd too me because it’s fun? Tradition?  Seems very odd to me. But whatever.

[SilverBeach]

If only churches were full of just the truly faithful. Trust me, they aren't. People attend and join churches for many reasons. Some attend to victimize those they see as easy prey. Some become leaders to power trip and control others. Some just want the sense of community (nothing wrong with that). Some like the music and activities. In my culture, church membership is expected and people join to fulfill this expectation. We don't really know other people's motivations.

[singsingsing]

11 minutes ago, tabitha2 said:

An atheist going to church twice a year seems very odd too me because it’s fun? Tradition?  Seems very odd to me. But whatever.

Well, welcome to reality. Thousands if not millions of people do it. 

[tabitha2]

I will go to the Buddhist temple down the road on their holidays if it’s all good then. What’s good for the goose right?

[SilverBeach]

 

8 minutes ago, tabitha2 said:

I will go to the Buddhist temple down the road on their holidays if it’s all good then. What’s good for the goose right?

Buddhists wouldn't care.

[tabitha2]

I know. I have been to the one to visit The Buddha  There is a mosque and the Synagogue to have fun inthough  

[Don'tlikekoolaid]

22 minutes ago, tabitha2 said:

I will go to the Buddhist temple down the road on their holidays if it’s all good then. What’s good for the goose right?

Speaking from experience you may find them happy to have you and will treat you as a honoured guest.  

[tabitha2]

I doubt that. I have experience as well. 

[VeryNikeSeamstress]

2 hours ago, tabitha2 said:

I know. I have been to the one to visit The Buddha  There is a mosque and the Synagogue to have fun inthough  

If church is God's party, is this considered party hopping?

[Don'tlikekoolaid]

2 hours ago, tabitha2 said:

I doubt that. I have experience as well. 

Really?  I’m sorry.  I haven’t been to any kind of church for 35 years, never been happier.  Come to my house, I still can party really good for an older person. ?