Jana 8: Now with Instagram

[Sky with diamonds]

Jana handled that very well. I wonder though if she replied in the heat of the moment. 

[ihaveanexamintwodays]

I'm not at all surprised by this comment, and none of the wording makes me suspicious that someone other than Jana herself wrote it. We've seen just through the show that while she may not be an attention-hog she has can speak in a very matter-of-fact manner. And none of the Duggars really "go off" and preach about sinful worldliness to individuals (the worst I've seen on social media lately is Anna regarding that film...) - plenty of posts about anti-abortion rallies or promoting anti-LGBT companies, but tirades are out of character for any of them. 

My guess is she has been approached about "courtship" a couple of times and maybe given then guys a chance, been of a few "dates" (by definition in group settings - ie out for dinner with mom and dad, shopping with Jessa, on a walk with a couple lost girls...) and nothing turned serious aka worth mentioning. 

[lumpentheologie]

I think the Duggars have hidden past relationships that haven't gotten serious enough to be almost-engagement.  This seems like confirmation of that for Jana and it's probably happened for some others as well. I don't blame them for that really, the children deserve what little privacy they can get. But they probably also didn't share because it's seen as not ideal for future courtship/dating prospects if you've already given away pieces of your heart. However, the speculation about Jana's sexuality is far more damaging in their worldview, so they seem to have decided it was worth sharing that she's been involved with a few guys.  A few shows that she's definitely into guys, according to their thinking. Jana has been available for courting for over 10 years...I'm not surprised she tried things out with 2 or 3 guys. Good for her for not settling. 

[just_ordinary]

Or maybe the guys dropped her? We are always surprised that men from the outside choose an uneducated Duggar woman. Maybe there are actually men who decided that the whole mess is not for them/ that this is not what they expect from a relationship. 

Apart from Austin all son in laws are from outside their specific cult so the chances that Jana‘s previous suitors might be as well are good.

Edited April 3, 2019 by just_ordinary
Added a thought

[HarleyQuinn]

I'm surprised she responded, now the tabs are just going to make a bunch of failed courtship articles about her. 

[SassyPants]

33 minutes ago, HarleyQuinn said:

I'm surprised she responded, now the tabs are just going to make a bunch of failed courtship articles about her. 

Yep. If it’s her, I can see JB feeling that this  just substantiates and justifies why he has always had a no social media until marriage rule. It’s a field day for the tabs, for sure.

[MaryOrMartha]

19 hours ago, VBOY9977 said:

I don’t get why people straight up ask questions like that on their instagram. 

She confirmed she has had past relationships. I wonder if it was several or if she’s just making a generalization. 

 

17 hours ago, VBOY9977 said:

It was real. I screenshoted it myself ??‍♀️ But I agree it was worded weirdly

there are several screenshots on tumblr that were taken slightly differenly 

  Hide contents

 

  Hide contents

 

Hmmm. Why does one version of the screenshot have the verified symbol [blue tick], and the other does not?

[AnnaRuk09]

This is a snapshot of her reply to a comment that she later deleted (I presume). I guess the asker also got blocked. Thought it was interesting. 

[SassyPants]

So she deleted her claim that any adult Duggar, married or not, can have their own social media presence? Wonder why? Maybe it just a huge coincidence that Jana was the first and only single, adult Duggar to have an IG account AND she deleted the comment and blocked the poster?

[Hisey]

I actually thought Jana's response was quite restrained, for a Duggar. Michelle would probably have said, "No! Homosexuality is a vile sin. I would never consider such a thing, that is a horrible thing to say."

I don't think Jana's response demonstrates anything, one way or the other. [Redacted]

Edited April 4, 2019 by laPapessaGiovanna
Redacted speculation

[JenniferJuniper]

2 hours ago, HarleyQuinn said:

I'm surprised she responded, now the tabs are just going to make a bunch of failed courtship articles about her. 

Yes, she should not have said a thing.   I guess this could tell us she's not being managed by anyone.  Aside from JB, of course.

[Shouldabeenacowboy]

22 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

It’s possible she was just pissed off and worded things differently than she might have under other circumstances. I’m pretty sure having someone question her sexuality would be pretty insulting to someone like Jana who comes from a fairly homophobic environment. She might have exaggerated a bit in order to help stop the rumors from spreading further.

I agree with you on the homophobic environment/someone like Jana/exaggerating a bit points. 

However, I would be pissed off too if someone asked me questions about my sexuality on Instagram, or in real life for that matter.  Why would some random ask something so private? People are dumb. My response would be "none of your f* business", but I guess that might keep fueling some rumors, and so perhaps her response cut through the crap. I'm surprised she responded at all vs. ignoring the comment. 

[Vivi_music]

On 4/2/2019 at 6:45 PM, SassyPants said:

Have we ever heard the Duggars use any verbiage other than “courtship” when referring to a new or ongoing relationship involving any of their adult children? I know the Bates have modernized their language, but I can’t remember this coming from a Duggar.

John-David introduced Abbie as his ''girlfriend'' when they first visited the family together. Which for me sounded very secular and non-fundie speak. I think since the Duggars have been a bit more in the public sphere, a few more secular wors have slipped into their vocabulary. It doesn't mean they perceive these words like we do. Most likely that girlfriend was still ''with a purpose'' or in the prospect of getting married in JD's head. And I agree with others who pointed that Jana probably said ''dating'' so that clueless casual fans would understand. At least that is how I read it in my head.

I'm positive that for the Duggars ''dating with a purpose'' is still pure and doesn't give away a piece of your heart. The words have changed but it is probably similar rules than ''courting'': having chaperones, no physical contact, etc.  It would not mean Jana's purity was put in doubt.

Edited April 4, 2019 by Vivi_music

[VelociRapture]

17 hours ago, Shouldabeenacowboy said:

I agree with you on the homophobic environment/someone like Jana/exaggerating a bit points. 

However, I would be pissed off too if someone asked me questions about my sexuality on Instagram, or in real life for that matter.  Why would some random ask something so private? People are dumb. My response would be "none of your f* business", but I guess that might keep fueling some rumors, and so perhaps her response cut through the crap. I'm surprised she responded at all vs. ignoring the comment. 

I agree. It’s a highly personal question that really shouldn’t be anyone else’s business unless someone decides they’re comfortable discussing their own sexuality. My point, though, is this was likely something that pissed her off mainly because in their culture it’s highly offensive for someone to think you’re gay (which it shouldn’t be because being LGBTQ+ is perfectly normal.) I agree she was likely pissed, just that she was probably mostly pissed for a crappy reason - because, like the rest of her family, she thinks being gay is a horrible sin.

Edited April 4, 2019 by VelociRapture

[kachuu]

All the fun stuff happens when i take the day off from social media. 

 

[nolongerIFBx]

On 4/2/2019 at 4:42 PM, tabitha2 said:

When you ask a fundie girl a question like that no matter how passive and quiet she normally is it will set off a nerve and she may get what amounts to an attitude for her.In her mind She was just accused of being the worst kind of sinner and hell bound. Of course she reacts. 

Very true. I wasn't interested in marriage (wonder why?!) and made the mistake of saying so. My best friend's mother started the rumor that I was gay. I became a pariah. My best friend would/could no longer talk to me. If I sat down, any person near either moved, or if they couldn’t do that, they sat as far away as they could. When I was paired up with someone on activities, they were given sympathetic pats on the back. I think one girl was even crying. It was that awful to be associated with one such as me. My dad went to the pastor and demanded he put a stop to the gossip. The preacher said that while he did not believe it was true, since my dad refused to write an article criticizing another IFBx pastor that this pastor was in a feud with (which was over theology so totally not a sin [sarcasm]), he would not do anything to stop it. Furthermore, I wasn’t allowed to participate in any areas of service that put me in contact with church children. I found out later that I actually was approved to work with kids who were bussed in from poor neighborhoods in Chicago . I guess they figured either they didn’t matter or that I couldn’t corrupt them anymore than they already were.

Even child molestation is more acceptable in fundamentalism than an alternate sexual orientation. There is absolutely nothing worse that one could be labeled with that the average conservative person would even have a clue what it was! Murder, rape, etc. are things that you do that are sin. Alternate sexuality is a sin that you are.

That is why I fully support the ban on speculating about a minors sexuality here. Unless you've been there, you just have no idea how absolutely awful it is to be treated as these fundamentalists will treat you if you don't fit into their box of normal. I really hope that no one in the IBLP/ATI world even sortof believes these rumors about Jana. Although, it would mean she'd either be single forever (because no one would want to be associated with her) or have to escape fundamentalism to find a husband. . .

Edited April 5, 2019 by nolongerIFBx

[karen77]

8 minutes ago, nolongerIFBx said:

Very true. I wasn't interested in marriage (wonder why?!) and made the mistake of saying so. My best friend's mother started the rumor that I was gay. I became a pariah. My best friend would/could no longer talk to me. If I sat down, any person near either moved, or if they couldn’t do that, they sat as far away as they could. When I was paired up with someone on activities, they were given sympathetic pats on the back. I think one girl was even crying. It was that awful to be associated with one such as me. My dad went to the pastor and demanded he put a stop to the gossip. The preacher said that while he did not believe it was true, since my dad refused to write an article criticizing another IFBx pastor that this pastor was in a feud with, he would not do anything to stop it. Furthermore, I wasn’t allowed to participate in any areas of service that put me in contact with church children. I found out later that I actually was approved to work with kids who were bussed in from poor neighborhoods in Chicago . I guess they figured either they didn’t matter or that I couldn’t corrupt them anymore than they already were.

Even child molestation is more acceptable in fundamentalism than an alternate sexual orientation. There is absolutely nothing worse that one could be labeled with that the average conservative person would even have a clue what it was! Murder, rape, etc. are things that you do that are sin. Alternate sexuality is a sin that you are.

That is why I fully support the ban on speculating about a minors sexuality here. Unless you've been there, you just have no idea how absolutely awful it is to be treated as these fundamentalists will treat you if you don't fit into their box of normal. I really hope that no one in the IBLP/ATI world even sortof believes these rumors about Jana. Although, it would mean she'd either be single forever (because no one would want to be associated with her) or have to escape fundamentalism to find a husband. . .

Just to clarify my WTF reaction! It's about the fact that people treated you this way based on a rumor, wtf!!!! Big hugs for having to go through all that BS.

[nolongerIFBx]

9 minutes ago, karen77 said:

Just to clarify my WTF reaction! It's about the fact that people treated you this way based on a rumor, wtf!!!! Big hugs for having to go through all that BS.

Thank you. Truly.

The silver lining--if I'm really trying to find one--is that it meant that I didn't marry an IFBx guy so I was able to find my way out of IFBextremism without having to divorce and/or fight to take any children with me. It would be worse to still be trapped there.

[Satan'sFortress]

3 hours ago, nolongerIFBx said:

Even child molestation is more acceptable in fundamentalism than an alternate sexual orientation. There is absolutely nothing worse that one could be labeled with that the average conservative person would even have a clue what it was! Murder, rape, etc. are things that you do that are sin. Alternate sexuality is a sin that you are

Thanks for sharing that.  It was very enlightening to me.

I am very sorry that you had to endure that treatment for so long.

[Sky with diamonds]

When I was younger there were many rumors that I was a lesbian. It was very hard, and was so bad, I had to move from a town. I couldn't imagine rumors about being gay in the fundie circles. That would be even worse. 

@nolongerIFBx You are very brave. 

[WiseGirl]

8 hours ago, nolongerIFBx said:

Unless you've been there, you just have no idea how absolutely awful it is to be treated as these fundamentalists will treat you if you don't fit into their box of norma

I'm so sorry you had to go through this. But imo  your post needs to be highlighted with flashing lights so people will understand the damage they could do these children and unmarried adults with speculation. Based on your experience I'm very glad FJ has the no speculation rule. Thank you for sharing.

 

 

[mollysmom]

8 hours ago, nolongerIFBx said:

Very true. I wasn't interested in marriage (wonder why?!) and made the mistake of saying so. My best friend's mother started the rumor that I was gay. I became a pariah. My best friend would/could no longer talk to me. If I sat down, any person near either moved, or if they couldn’t do that, they sat as far away as they could. When I was paired up with someone on activities, they were given sympathetic pats on the back. I think one girl was even crying. It was that awful to be associated with one such as me. My dad went to the pastor and demanded he put a stop to the gossip. The preacher said that while he did not believe it was true, since my dad refused to write an article criticizing another IFBx pastor that this pastor was in a feud with (which was over theology so totally not a sin [sarcasm]), he would not do anything to stop it. Furthermore, I wasn’t allowed to participate in any areas of service that put me in contact with church children. I found out later that I actually was approved to work with kids who were bussed in from poor neighborhoods in Chicago . I guess they figured either they didn’t matter or that I couldn’t corrupt them anymore than they already were.

Even child molestation is more acceptable in fundamentalism than an alternate sexual orientation. There is absolutely nothing worse that one could be labeled with that the average conservative person would even have a clue what it was! Murder, rape, etc. are things that you do that are sin. Alternate sexuality is a sin that you are.

That is why I fully support the ban on speculating about a minors sexuality here. Unless you've been there, you just have no idea how absolutely awful it is to be treated as these fundamentalists will treat you if you don't fit into their box of normal. I really hope that no one in the IBLP/ATI world even sortof believes these rumors about Jana. Although, it would mean she'd either be single forever (because no one would want to be associated with her) or have to escape fundamentalism to find a husband. . .

I know this would never happen but man, I'd love to sit down and share stories with some people on here and you are definitely one of them. I bet we have so so much in common with our backgrounds. Some of the stories I tell from my childhood and from college, people just don't believe me because they are just so ridiculous. I always assure them that unfortunately it is very true and it happened but they look at me like I have 2 heads. It's definitely a cult and I will say that till the day I die.

8 hours ago, nolongerIFBx said:

Thank you. Truly.

The silver lining--if I'm really trying to find one--is that it meant that I didn't marry an IFBx guy so I was able to find my way out of IFBextremism without having to divorce and/or fight to take any children with me. It would be worse to still be trapped there.

Yes!! There was a guy in college that I was planning on marrying. He broke up with me with no explanation (such a godly man ) and every once in a while he pops up on facebook (I'm not friends with him but we have friends in common) and he and his wife just had their 10th kid and they're always on there begging for money. I am SO SO glad that I did not end up with him!

[wandering woman]

On 4/2/2019 at 3:49 PM, SassyPants said:

Don’t think that’s her at all. If Jana had courted or dated other guys, the world would know. Maybe she has been interested in getting to know another person, but dating and courting other GUYS, nah, don’t believe that for a second.

Why would we know if Jana had courted in the past? We only see a tiny segment of their lives that TLC offers to us.

[Snarkangel Gabriel]

9 hours ago, WiseGirl said:

I'm so sorry you had to go through this. But imo  your post needs to be highlighted with flashing lights so people will understand the damage they could do these children and unmarried adults with speculation. Based on your experience I'm very glad FJ has the no speculation rule. Thank you for sharing.

 

 

I couldn’t agree with this more. Until reading about the horrific experience of  nolongerIFBx I never fully “got” that rule. I thought it was there simply because speculation on that type of thing is tasteless and could be a bit hurtful. I had no idea of the very serious repercussions which could ensue. So thank you nolongerIFBx for enlightening me, although I so wish you had not had the experiences which enabled you to do so. 

[justmy2cents]

@nolongerIFBx I appreciate your point of view, thanks for sharing. I can't even imagine how difficult that was for you. Did your family remain fundie or did that sour them on the lifestyle just a little?

I'm in complete agreement that we shouldn't speculate. I do wonder though if evil heathen media and FJ speculation is as harmful as speculation within the cult. I would think anything said here would not have as strong an impact. Wouldn't they just write it off as an attack on their cult?