Josie and Kelton 4: Please Leave the Catholics Alone and Now Gestating

[backyard sylph]

6 hours ago, nolongerIFBx said:

One pastor put it this way- "All Christians are going to heaven but IFB are going first class." as well as that only IFBs would sit at the table at the Marriage Supper of the Lamb.

How did he justify that biblically? I remember being told something similar many years ago, not denominationally, but like there was a passcode for the group that meant they'd get front row seats for the show. But I don't remember whatever the speaker's Paulian words might have been to support this view.

[FaithAndReason]

What the hell is the Marriage Supper of the Lamb? 

 

[Pecansforeveryone]

Christ is the Lamb of God, the perfect sacrifice that takes away all sin once and for all. The Church is the bride of Christ, in Scripture. The Marriage Supper is the Church being reunited with Christ in heaven. Or something like that. 

[nolongerIFBx]

19 hours ago, backyard sylph said:

How did he justify that biblically? I remember being told something similar many years ago, not denominationally, but like there was a passcode for the group that meant they'd get front row seats for the show. But I don't remember whatever the speaker's Paulian words might have been to support this view.

I doubt he could justify it biblically. There's not really that much in the Bible about the Marriage Supper of the Lamb, but there's a whole group of people (Landmark Baptists) who are just sure its only them and their kind.

[backyard sylph]

23 minutes ago, nolongerIFBx said:

I doubt he could justify it biblically. There's not really that much in the Bible about the Marriage Supper of the Lamb, but there's a whole group of people (Landmark Baptists) who are just sure its only them and their kind.

Of couse it isn't in there. But I am curious how he manages to frame it all. It's a topic that I have found interesting over the years. There are several groups who are certain they have the True Backstage Passes.

[NoKidsAndCounting]

Marriage Supper of the Lamb?  Well, I guess I won't be invited then, since I'm not IFB. I really hope I can at least see God at the Meet and Greet, though. 

[Palimpsest]

On 2/11/2019 at 10:40 AM, nolongerIFBx said:

One pastor put it this way- "All Christians are going to heaven but IFB are going first class." as well as that only IFBs would sit at the table at the Marriage Supper of the Lamb (https://www.gotquestions.org/marriage-supper-Lamb.html). Everyone else would just be a guest.  That is legalism.

That is downright unChristian!  All Christians are equal but some Christians are more equal than others!

But there is also variation in what IFB pastors teach and how legalistic they are.  Or so I am told.  

By the way, Steve Anderson is now proudly "New Independent Fundamentalist Baptist" because the originals are not strict enough for His Obnoxiousness.

And our Special Snowflake, John Shrader, denounced Gothard as a false teacher years ago, but he is no longer IFB either.  He is now a "Biblical Historic Unaffiliated Baptist," if you please.  The Biblical and Historic bit is because he is chin deep in Trail of Blood stuff.  The Unaffiliated bit is because even former IFB supporting churches and other IFB missionaries tell him he is wrong. 

[lumpentheologie]

Marriage Supper of the Lamb sounds like a wedding dinner with lamb as the main course. I could see some guests being confused about whether you're supposed to eat the lamb or marry the lamb.

Also wouldn't everyone there (since they're making up the church) be getting married to Christ? So it doesn't really make sense that some people are guests and others aren't if they're all the bride. I guess some people just have to be more the bride than others, though. #afterlifebridezillas

[formergothardite]

I was always told the Marriage Supper of the Lamb was going to have way less people than most expected because narrow is the way to heaven and few are taking it. I once made the mistake of asking wouldn't we get bored of eating for such a long time and I was firmly reminded that there would be no boredom in heaven, just being happy to praise Jesus and eat food. 

[HereticHick]

23 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

I was always told the Marriage Supper of the Lamb was going to have way less people than most expected because narrow is the way to heaven and few are taking it. I once made the mistake of asking wouldn't we get bored of eating for such a long time and I was firmly reminded that there would be no boredom in heaven, just being happy to praise Jesus and eat food. 

Is it a multi-course sit down dinner, or a buffet? Are there gluten-free options?

[formergothardite]

8 minutes ago, HereticHick said:

Is it a multi-course sit down dinner, or a buffet? Are there gluten-free options?

It was supposed to be your most favorite food ever! 

I just remember being told we would get to heaven(we were going to be raptured any second), spend forever praising Jesus and then have a huge meal that lasted thousands of years. I wanted to go see my giant mansion and put on my robe and crowns so eating for thousands of years sounded tedious. 

[lumpentheologie]

1 hour ago, formergothardite said:

It was supposed to be your most favorite food ever! 

I just remember being told we would get to heaven(we were going to be raptured any second), spend forever praising Jesus and then have a huge meal that lasted thousands of years. I wanted to go see my giant mansion and put on my robe and crowns so eating for thousands of years sounded tedious. 

Maybe in heaven you would just experience perfect contentment doing whatever you happen to be doing at the time. I mean Augustine thought heaven would be having perfect control over your body so your dick finally obeys you, but maybe the female version is just finally being relieved from all that working on your contentment. ?

[Alice in Fundieland]

Josie is pregnant. 

https://www.intouchweekly.com/posts/pregnant-josie-bates-reveals-she-and-kelton-balka-are-expecting/?fbclid=IwAR1xlPRT2xWCIW5qSIyqupOyMrC_XSZWtn5Ia6GrNc6fOr_apRKXvUqkplw

Edited February 13, 2019 by Alice in Fundieland

[kmachete14]

I know its arbitrary but I just wish she had gotten to 20 before becoming pregnant. A teen bride and now a teen mother.

[lumpentheologie]

Could someone please summarize/post screenshots for those of us in Europe who can't see?

[Palimpsest]

6 hours ago, lumpentheologie said:

Marriage Supper of the Lamb sounds like a wedding dinner with lamb as the main course. I could see some guests being confused about whether you're supposed to eat the lamb or marry the lamb.

Also wouldn't everyone there (since they're making up the church) be getting married to Christ? So it doesn't really make sense that some people are guests and others aren't if they're all the bride. I guess some people just have to be more the bride than others, though. #afterlifebridezillas

Some people get mint jelly with their lamb.   Others prefer Cumberland sauce.

11 minutes ago, Alice in Fundieland said:

Josie is pregnant. 

I'm shocked.  Shocked, I tell you!

So from getting engaged to delivering a baby in 13 months - is that a new Bates record? 

 

3 minutes ago, lumpentheologie said:

Could someone please summarize/post screenshots for those of us in Europe who can't see?

Quote

 

It's a special month for Bringing Up Bates star Josie Bates! After tying the knot with hubby Kelton BalkaOpens a New Window. back in October 2018, the reality star is about to debut her nuptials on her family’s hit TV show. But in addition to sharing her big day with UPtv fans on the Thursday, February 14, episode, she’s also got some other big news. After being married for just a few months, the young newlyweds exclusively revealed to In Touch that they’re now expecting their first child, too.

“We can hardly believe it,” Josie, 19, told In Touch. “We are already so in love with our little one and so very thankful to God for His blessing on our life as we start our little family.” On Instagram, the bride and her husband, 23, have been showing off their marital adventures, and now we’ll get to watch them as they prepare to welcome a little son or daughter, too. Though the couple has revealed that they’re due in July 2019, only a month after the anniversary of when they got engaged, they haven’t decided whether or not they want to share their baby’s gender or any name ideas just yet.

 

https://www.intouchweekly.com/posts/pregnant-josie-bates-reveals-she-and-kelton-balka-are-expecting

 

[Alice in Fundieland]

2 minutes ago, lumpentheologie said:

Could someone please summarize/post screenshots for those of us in Europe who can't see?

According to the article, baby Balka is due in July. There haven’t been any social media posts yet from Josie or Kelton. The article said she’s suffering from morning sickness and is usually a coffee lover, but the smell of coffee has nauseated her during pregnancy.

 

Spoiler

 

6 minutes ago, Palimpsest said:

So from getting engaged to delivering a baby in 13 months - is that a new Bates record? 

 

I wondered that too. I know honeymoon babies aren’t uncommon with fundies, but going from engagement to new parents in just over a year seems fast, even for them.

[singsingsing]

WHAT?!?! PREGNANT???? THIS CAN'T BE!!!! 

?

[Palimpsest]

9 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

WHAT?!?! PREGNANT???? THIS CAN'T BE!!!! 

?

Would you like me to explain the birds and bees to you again?

 

[formergothardite]

15 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

WHAT?!?! PREGNANT???? THIS CAN'T BE!!!! 

?

The one bedroom apartment!!! They were surely going to try and avoid a pregnancy. 

[singsingsing]

6 minutes ago, Palimpsest said:

Would you like me to explain the birds and bees to you again?

 

Ugggghh, come ON, mom, I KNOW how it works! Stop embarrassing me! When two fundies love Jesus very much, they want to share that love with the whole goddamn world so they can take over and make us all slaves to the theocracy.

[Bobology]

1 hour ago, lumpentheologie said:

Maybe in heaven you would just experience perfect contentment doing whatever you happen to be doing at the time.

Perhaps 'heaven' is actually a lobotomy.

[nausicaa]

23 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

The one bedroom apartment!!! They were surely going to try and avoid a pregnancy. 

Ya know, not with actually using birth control or anything. They were just gonna wish it, cause that's how these things work...

(Seriously, I do wonder about some FJers' grasp of the birds and the bees. If you are fertile and having sex regularly, you kinda need to take some conscious, deliberate steps to avoid pregnancy.)

[bal maiden]

Depressingly predictable. 

[JermajestyDuggar]