John Shrader 17: Boring Poems and I know it was you, Fredo

[thoughtful 30,599]

I know I've said this before about some of the execrable doggerel John and some of the other fundies produce, but I must say it again.

It sometimes takes all my self-control not to blurt out "Burma Shave!" at the end of every stanza.

[gustava 4,097]

18 hours ago, thoughtful said:

I know I've said this before about some of the execrable doggerel John and some of the other fundies produce, but I must say it again.

It sometimes takes all my self-control not to blurt out "Burma Shave!" at the end of every stanza.

Burma Shave signs were far superior.  I remember reading them from an un airconditioned car when I was a child.

[thoughtful 30,599]

1 hour ago, gustava said:

Burma Shave signs were far superior.

I agree. It's the meter that gets me.

[NonSOTDRT Teacher 952]

So it’s been mentioned that Shrader was a creep as a teen/young man. Not to mention the world’s worst missionary and possibly the world’s best modern-day Pharisee (with JRod taking 2nd place in my book)

Everybody knows what happened with Smuggar, and how Anna was encouraged to stay.

and of course the Pecan thief.

 

Now that Nathan and Nurie Rodrigues are courting, Daddy Keller sure knows how to pick them, huh?

Id love to know how the ‘rebel’ Keller’s are doing, but also respect their privacy and applaud it really. They didn’t ask to be related by marriage to a semi-famous in-law that turned out to be a creep. 

[BlackberryGirl 9,966]

We say “the good lord willing and the crick don’t rise.” Alll the time. My parents said it, and BlackberryBoy’s parents said it.  Maybe its a rural thing, we’re New Yorkers, his family was from Mississippi. 

[Palimpsest 75,539]

On 7/6/2019 at 12:31 AM, NonSOTDRT Teacher said:

Id love to know how the ‘rebel’ Keller’s are doing, but also respect their privacy and applaud it really. They didn’t ask to be related by marriage to a semi-famous in-law that turned out to be a creep. 

Pris and Davy sometimes leak information and photos of the rebel faction on their blog and instagram.  The 2nd gen obviously all still see each other.  Pris and Davy also visited "Grandma Shrader," Esther's GMIL this year.  And, sadly, the gutter press gets news from "sources," so the rebels occasionally still make the news.   As with Susannah's previous engagement.  Some source claimed Pa Keller had made a list of demands before he would attend the wedding.  That marriage did not happen but I hope she is happier with the new gentleman in her life.  

I expect the only matches Pa Keller regrets are Daniel and Candice (the one he couldn't stop) and Josh MacDonald and Rebekah (because Josh McDonald went openly anti-Gothard.)  But their separations and divorces are probably OK because Daniel and Rebekah married unrepentant sinners.  I'm sure he deeply regrets not keeping Susannah properly sheltered and tomato staked.

Pa Keller is probably still as proud as Punch over Esther and John.  They may not be Gothardite but they are still Godly Missionaries Procreating Mightily for the Lord.  Priscilla and David were a Fundy Royal Coup, and also still procreating for the Lord.  Anna and Josh D. -- well Josh fell to temptation but repented so all is good.  And Pa Keller must be delighted with Anna for sticking by Josh anyway.  What a beautiful testimony.  Puke.

Edited July 8 by Palimpsest

[Aine 3,942]

On 7/8/2019 at 2:34 PM, Palimpsest said:

Pris and Davy sometimes leak information and photos of the rebel faction on their blog and instagram.  The 2nd gen obviously all still see each other.  Pris and Davy also visited "Grandma Shrader," Esther's GMIL this year.  And, sadly, the gutter press gets news from "sources," so the rebels occasionally still make the news.   As with Susannah's previous engagement.  Some source claimed Pa Keller had made a list of demands before he would attend the wedding.  That marriage did not happen but I hope she is happier with the new gentleman in her life.  

I expect the only matches Pa Keller regrets are Daniel and Candice (the one he couldn't stop) and Josh MacDonald and Rebekah (because Josh McDonald went openly anti-Gothard.)  But their separations and divorces are probably OK because Daniel and Rebekah married unrepentant sinners.  I'm sure he deeply regrets not keeping Susannah properly sheltered and tomato staked.

Pa Keller is probably still as proud as Punch over Esther and John.  They may not be Gothardite but they are still Godly Missionaries Procreating Mightily for the Lord.  Priscilla and David were a Fundy Royal Coup, and also still procreating for the Lord.  Anna and Josh D. -- well Josh fell to temptation but repented so all is good.  And Pa Keller must be delighted with Anna for sticking by Josh anyway.  What a beautiful testimony.  Puke.

The cognitive dissonance of the Keller parents is kind of extraordinary in a way. Despite all their sheltering and indoctrination of their children, despite all their faith and "guidance", their hit rate is well below average when it comes to fundie families keeping their precious quivers in the fold or "good Godly men" doing 'right' and providing for their daughters. Doing 'right' is clearly a conflicting term here though. By everything I ever read and seen, Josh MacDonald appeared to be a good provider but moved away from fundamentalism (although not Christianity) so he was therefore 'wrong'. Shrader cannot provide for his family and is a narcissistic failed missionary who regularly puts his wife and children in unpleasant or dangerous situations with no shame- 'wrong' to me but I also don't see the Keller's crowing about John's work either and it makes me wonder if he also holds some concerns about that choice. Smuggar...well...we all know. While I think he might be proud of Anna for standing by her husband, I can't see any father (even a fundie) sitting back and watching the Ashley Madison debacle and details about their SIL sexually abusing his sisters even before Anna (so can't blame her for not keeping her husband happy 🤮) feeling great about that pairing. Susanna and Daniel fled fundie-ism altogether. It's just not a good rate of success for a family who tried to isolate their kids, indoctrinate them, and devise marriages to continue this 'wonderful way of life'.

[Ozlsn 17,298]

John's Facebook is still silent (or possibly he's gone friends only again.) Is he (a) too busy to post, (b) back in the Slough of Despair, (c) offended that we laughed at his heartfelt poem, or (d) off in the wilds of Zambia without Internet access? I guess he could possibly be in Immigration detention, although I'm sure someone would have mentioned that, if only to ask for money to get him out. C'mon John, update us! 

[gustava 4,097]

10 hours ago, Ozlsn said:

John's Facebook is still silent (or possibly he's gone friends only again.) Is he (a) too busy to post, (b) back in the Slough of Despair, (c) offended that we laughed at his heartfelt poem, or (d) off in the wilds of Zambia without Internet access? I guess he could possibly be in Immigration detention, although I'm sure someone would have mentioned that, if only to ask for money to get him out. C'mon John, update us! 

No way that he would have stayed "in the wilds of Zambia" this long!  Who'd cook and clean for him????

[EyesOpen 5,416]

Where would he get his ice cubes...

[Gobsmacked 21,922]

I'm hoping the Kids and Esther are all ok.

John may have gone in deepest deepest shock  when Esther told him about the COURTSHIP. He will have researched the Rods. No doubt about  that. He WILL HAVE COMPETITION in the grifting department. Can't have that. I picture him feverishly lying in bed, fingers twitching and shaking over a keyboard whilst writing a new tome of pomes about women plastered in makeup not really being  Jebus's thing AT ALL. 

His darling Esther will show the Rod females how to dress MODESTLY. The first chapters of his book will be ready to run through David's printing press before the words KELLER/RODRIGUES engagement are heard/written/plastered all over the interwebz by Jilly. 

[Ozlsn 17,298]

3 hours ago, Gobsmacked said:

writing a new tome of pomes about women plastered in makeup not really being  Jebus's thing AT ALL. 

Oh man I would pay to see JRod and John in the same room. Awkward doesn't even begin to describe it.

[formergothardite 92,970]

4 hours ago, Gobsmacked said:

picture him feverishly lying in bed, fingers twitching and shaking over a keyboard whilst writing a new tome of pomes about women plastered in makeup not really being  Jebus's thing AT ALL. 

I seriously hope he writes passive aggressive things about Jill. It will take her awhile to figure out he is talking about her, but when she does she will hit him back writing nasty thing about him. It will be amazing. 

[Howl 49,073]

On 7/9/2019 at 10:55 PM, Aine said:

I can't see any father (even a fundie) sitting back and watching the Ashley Madison debacle and details about their SIL sexually abusing his sisters even before Anna (so can't blame her for not keeping her husband happy

Horrible thought, but what are the outcomes when an offender (as a teen like Smuggar) becomes a father of daughters? 

[FloraKitty35 8,938]

5 hours ago, EyesOpen said:

Where would he get his ice cubes...

or his sunflower seeds, beef jerky, etc, etc...

[NoKidsAndCounting 3,462]

I love it - the thought of JRod and Shrader in a room together.  If he told her she and her girls shouldn't be wearing all of that make-up and wearing bright clingy clothes/dresses, she would be doing some pearl-clutching for sure!  After all, Jilly can't have a response for that.  She's A WOMAN, after all.

[BlackberryGirl 9,966]

John is posting about severe degenerative disc problems. He saw a “godly” radiologist when he was back in the states. But never fear, he whines about how he will serve the lord in Africa while disabled and unable to control his bowels. 

[Palimpsest 75,539]

^^^

Thanks. So he is still posting away privately.  But when was he last back in the States?  And how did he afford the Godly radiologist who gave him this diagnosis?

In other news he has made his latest newsletter public.  It is mostly boring refried news except for this bit right at the very end.  

He has supposedly succeeded in "registering Biblical Baptist Churches Mission of Zambia (BBCMZ) which will allow our family to be under the authority of our Sending Church in every respect, even our permits here, and also to have our church plants legally recognized by Zambia."

This puzzles me greatly and contradicts what John himself has claimed in the past about the Mother Church bodies.  I wonder whether he went private because we recently posted here that the legality of his church(es) was in doubt.  He needed to think about how to reframe his position to the donors.

But it could be one of John Shrader's big fat lies for the Lord.  I need to do some research.

 

[Gobsmacked 21,922]

5 hours ago, BlackberryGirl said:

John is posting about severe degenerative disc problems. He saw a “godly” radiologist when he was back in the states. But never fear, he whines about how he will serve the lord in Africa while disabled and unable to control his bowels. 

What's the difference between a Radiologist and a Godly Radiologist? 

[Granwych 18,363]

1 hour ago, Gobsmacked said:

What's the difference between a Radiologist and a Godly Radiologist? 

A godly radiologist won't charge John a cent.

[thoughtful 30,599]

1 hour ago, Gobsmacked said:

What's the difference between a Radiologist and a Godly Radiologist? 

A Godly radiologist can see into your SOUL!

[thoughtful 30,599]

On 7/19/2019 at 11:11 AM, NoKidsAndCounting said:

I love it - the thought of JRod and Shrader in a room together.

Ages ago, there was a thread drift somewhere about imagining them not only meeting, but married to one another, which was so delectable it inspired me to song! I dug it up from my files - other than asking where they will store their respective goodies, it applies to their meeting and being related by marriage, as well:

 

When an unbelievable asshole, like John,

Meets a narcissistic exemplar, like Jill,

You can bet just as sure as you live.

Something's gotta give

Something's gotta give

Something's gotta give!

 

When an irrepressible ego, like John's,

Makes him take attention that Jill thinks is hers,

We should hide, because I insist,

Somewhere, somehow,

Someone's gonna be pissed!

 

So, en garde, who knows where they'll find room to store,

Sunflow'r seeds and jerky beside,

Bags and bins of makeup and hairspray galore,

In a pop-up or single-wide?

 

Fight, fight, fight, they will fight with all of their might,

Chances are some horrible hair-pulling night,

We'll find out as sure as we live,

Something's gotta give,

Something's gotta give,

Something's gotta give!

 

[formergothardite 92,970]

7 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

This puzzles me greatly and contradicts what John himself has claimed in the past about the Mother Church bodies.  I wonder whether he went private because we recently posted here that the legality of his church(es) was in doubt.  He needed to think about how to reframe his position to the donors.

But it could be one of John Shrader's big fat lies for the Lord.  I need to do some research.

Hmm. I wouldn't be surprised if he is stretching the truth with his donors and that is one of the reasons he went private again. John's "mission" never has made a ton of sense and there always seems to be shady things being done. 

Rea seems to be plugging along converting souls and grifting items. A church bought him a building to use as his church and another church bought him a block making machine so he can build stuff. It seems that he has sent his older kids back to America. 

[Naga Viper 10,955]

9 hours ago, BlackberryGirl said:

John is posting about severe degenerative disc problems. He saw a “godly” radiologist when he was back in the states. But never fear, he whines about how he will serve the lord in Africa while disabled and unable to control his bowels. 

Just channel it into your poetry like you usually do, John!

Yeah, easy shot, but why let somebody else take it?

[Gobsmacked 21,922]

Me thinks he is still looking for a way out of Zambia. Degenerative discs/spines are no joke. If he leaves now Daddy wont expect him to work on arrival home in the US because of his back. John will "work" for Daddy. He will really whine and play the sympathy card for a few months... Then home! Nice cushy life, writing pomes and setting himself up as counsellor/marriage advice type person living in a Keller style home in the grounds of Daddy's church. 

Sorted.........