Josiah & Lauren 13: Drift, Duggars, Drift (Miscarriage Content Warning)

[zcccrv]

Meanwhile, I'm over 4 and a half months pregnant and I STILL look like I just finished eating dinner for six by myself. It's really starting to annoy me. Come on, fetus!

[SassyPants]

33 minutes ago, SilverBeach said:

I don't know that this is weird as much as it is immoral. I can't stand them or the way they live. In any event, doing something bad because others do it is not much of a justification.

I agree, and this is certainly something I never advocated. I just think some of the discussion that is hyper-focused on individual minute bodily changes is tasteless and borders on being salacious. 

Again...I would agree if, like mentioned in a comment above, people were fat shaming or mentioning/ commenting about body parts outside of a pregnancy speculation, like some do with Josh. Yet, very few, if any, people here have mentioned how those comments, specifically about Josh’s growing waistline are unkind or  examples of fat shaming. Either you’re in and taking the moral high road, or you’re not. 

Personally, I think this whole episode is just another example of someone having a rough day and jumping all over a comment, which on any other day might go unnoticed, and then others coming in and piling on. 

We need to stop acting as if we are above all the snark, because we are not.

Edited May 20, 2019 by SassyPants

[GutenbergGirl]

 Just saw an article on People that Lauren is due in the fall.  No clue how to link, though! 

[VBOY9977]

https://people.com/tv/josiah-duggar-lauren-swanson-expecting-after-miscarriage/

[HereticHick]

4 minutes ago, VBOY9977 said:

https://people.com/tv/josiah-duggar-lauren-swanson-expecting-after-miscarriage/

When do we get the mass Duggar bump picture? It better happen before Jessa gives birth!

[Casserole]

5 minutes ago, HereticHick said:

When do we get the mass Duggar bump picture? It better happen before Jessa gives birth!

And will there be more than 5 girls in it... 

[Italiangirl]

And with them we are currently at 5 Duggar ladies pregnant in the same time. Gosh is gonna be a busy fall! 

So now how many grandduggar will be? I think I have lost the count already! This will be #17 right? 

[SassyPants]

Despite  their horrible  beliefs, I hope all goes well for them during this pregnancy, labor and delivery. I hope Lauren is getting the best medical care and advice available, and that she and J. will follow the professional advice given.

[karen77]

That's a whole lotta Duggar grandchildren coming this year!
 

but i'm happy for them, other than the fact that she is only 20!

[Lurky]

12 hours ago, zcccrv said:

Pregnancy is fundie women's official job.

Of course that's what the Fundies think - BUT when there are people zooming in to examine young women's bodies, and doing forensic examinations of posts to see if she might be pregnant, that makes us no better than the Fundies.  I hate the "she hasn't yet lost the baby weight of having 2 kids in quick succession so she must be preg" talk at the best of times, because it presents a dichotomy where women are only acceptable if they are model-slim, or if they are pregnant, but it's even more disturbing when it's a young woman who's just had a miscarriage, and from what all the evidence shows, feels really bad about it.

So many FJers have shared their feelings about pregnancy speculation they've experienced in general, and especially in the context of fertility problems, that there's no excuse not to know that this feels really crappy for people.  And sure, Lauren married a Duggar, but she's a very, very sheltered Fundy teenager, and I wish we would cut her and the other young Fundy maidens some slack, because they aren't some Kate Gosselin or Kim Kardashian, making a conscious choice to try to famous.  It doesn't hurt us in any way to wait until they announce pregnancies in their own time - and deciding that we are a forum that doesn't believe in the "if not skinny, must be pregnant" body shaming makes us a better place for so many people.

ETA Just saw the announcement - it's not even like holding ourselves back from zooming in on photos etc would have delayed any conversation we had for a few days.  I don't want any more soldiers for the cult born, but I really hope this is a healthy and happy pregnancy for her.

Edited May 20, 2019 by Lurky

[SillyDillys]

I wish her a healthy pregnancy and proper medical care. 

Damn I really predicted all the Duggar pregnancies! Tater tot casserole for me!

 

[theotherelise]

"Fall" goes until December 19th, technically. However, we colloquially consider fall as ending at November. So it at least seems like there will be 4 more grandchildren due within 8 weeks of each other. 

People had speculated quite a bit about Lauren's fertility based on their vows, I think, and also because of some of her potential inflammatory health conditions. I don't know how far along she was when she miscarried in October, but it seems like it took them about 2-3 cycles to conceive the first time. It can take many women awhile for their HCG to go back down after a loss so that they can start trying again. So if they were able to start trying again in January-ish, it looks like it would've taken about 3 cycles again to get pregnant. (Plus or minus a cycle or two because we don't know when they started trying or when they are due).

Point being, Lauren at this stage has demonstrated high fertility and I'd lump them in with JoKen, Josh/Anna and Joy/Austin as "leaving it up to God". Also the families that seem least likely to diverge at all from their upbringings.

Do we know if they go to the Caldwell church?

What is Josiah doing for work? I think Joseph was working a used car lot, is Si also?

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

On 5/16/2019 at 12:59 PM, bal maiden said:

Do you guys all seriously agree that she is a mother then, for having carried a zygote for a few weeks? I understand that the things Josiah said could be helpful in supporting her through her grief (although much of my own grief surrounding my miscarriages was that I wasn’t to be a mother, so I personally wouldn’t have found that much comfort),  but since the user base here leans pro choice, I am really surprised at the reaction to Josiah’s post. Yes, he was being very supportive, within the framework of their life-begins-at-conception framework of beliefs, but I am curious as to whether the pro life narrative has penetrated American society to such an extent that we cannot critique it when someone claims motherhood based upon a few weeks of pregnancy? Especially since the Duggars themselves are strong critics of other forms of self identification such as non binary or transgender identification. 

 

I’m not trying to flame here, just for clarity. I am honestly shocked and surprised by this forum’s reaction, and trying to make sense of how much the pro life narrative has gained hegemonic status in the US... happy to hear other perspectives.

Yes, I do, she wanted that baby and to her that zygote was a life. So yes, she is a mother with out a child. Not all mothers who lose a pregnancy early will feel this way, but it is obvious she does.  And it isn't our place to judge what one person does vs. another, no matter how shitty of people  they are. 

[PurpleCats]

I know she was sad to miscarry, but I think it’s weird how much they are talking about “baby #2.”  

[SorenaJ]

Oh wauw. Now we are just waiting for the 5 pregnant Duggar bump picture. 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

Maybe they are waiting for Abbie to be far enough along to announce? LOL can you imagine. I'm guessing Lauren, Joy & Anna are all due around the same time. 

 

I'm happy for them, they seem over the moon, hopefully all will go well this time.  

[JermajestyDuggar]

Although they say “fall,” I am going to guess November. That’s a lot of Duggar grandchildren born around the same time. There will be many pictures of those babies together in the years to come.

It reminds me of my first cousins on one side of my family. There were 5 of us first cousins that all had babies in a 6 month period. Mine was 2nd of the 5.

[Alice in Fundieland]

They just posted the news on Instagram as well. 

 

Spoiler

 

[Rachel333]

On 5/19/2019 at 10:22 AM, HerNameIsBuffy said:

I know originally the long crunchy curls were a Gothard preference (I still can't believe parents groomed their daughters to appeal to him) but as he's gone is there a religious meaning to the long hair?

I know there is some biblical stuff about it being a woman's glory or whatever, is that where it comes from?  

It comes from 1 Corinthians 11, which is the chapter that says that women should have their hair covered. For those who observe that requirement there are two schools of thought: that the covering mentioned should be a literal piece of cloth or that the covering refers to having long hair. Some of the fundies we follow are in the former camp but the Duggars are in the latter. The particular verse they cite is 1 Corinthians 11:15: "But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering."

When you read the whole chapter, and verses like, "For if the woman be not covered, let her also be shorn: but if it be a shame for a woman to be shorn or shaven, let her be covered." I think it's clear that Paul is talking about more than just long hair, but I'm glad that women like the Duggars don't feel like they have to cover themselves even more.

[victoriasponge]

I get not snarking based on appearance. 

But surely it was just a matter of time when she chose to wear a maternity dress from Jinger’s press release to an event that would be photographed and put on social media?

I accept they’re sheltered. I refuse to believe they’re that dumb though. 

Anyway, safe pregnancy and all that. 

 

Edit: okay I guess first baby has a name now. Asa. Cool, cool. She really is the second Michelle. 

Edited May 20, 2019 by victoriasponge

[VelociRapture]

I’m due November 22nd and we announced yesterday when I was 13w2d. Based off when Siren announced, I’d guess she could be due as late as December 2. That would be if they announced on the exact day she hit 12 weeks though and I get the feeling they may have opted to wait a bit longer to announce. I’d guess she’s likely due around the same time as me, if not a bit sooner.

I’m never happy when another pregnancy is announced in these families because I doubt these children will have many options in life. I hope their parents prove me wrong on that, but I won’t hold my breath. That said, I hope Lauren's pregnancy proceeds normally, that she receives adequate prenatal care, that she’s able to enjoy being pregnant, and the birth goes smoothly. 

[anjulibai]

She looks fairly far along, I wonder if she's due in September or October. 

[justmy2cents]

6 minutes ago, PurpleCats said:

I know she was sad to miscarry, but I think it’s weird how much they are talking about “baby #2.”  

I agree. To me this is pregnancy #2, not baby #2. Now it makes more sense that Anna wished her a Happy Mother's Day. I'll guess that Jill is pregnant since Anna has now posted 2 pictures with Jill in which Jill was pregnant. Think she's hinting to us.

[VelociRapture]

1 minute ago, victoriasponge said:

I get not snarking based on appearance. 

But surely it was just a matter of time when she chose to wear a maternity dress from Jinger’s press release to an event that would be photographed and put on social media?

I accept they’re sheltered. I refuse to believe they’re that dumb though. 

Anyway, safe pregnancy and all that. 

 

Edit: okay I guess first baby has a name now. Asa. Cool, cool. She really is the second Michelle. 

Not all women opt to name the pregnancies they lost, but many do. Even those of us who are firmly pro-choice and aren’t religious in any way. It can be a coping mechanism for a lot of people - it was for me at least. If Siren suddenly start spewing anti-choice bullshit while purposely using Asa to make their point then go right ahead and snark away, but please keep in mind that this isn’t something specific to just Fundies. 

[VBOY9977]

9 minutes ago, anjulibai said:

She looks fairly far along, I wonder if she's due in September or October. 

I think it’s subjective. Josie Balka looked less pregnant at 20 weeks than Lauren does in the picture they posted, but Joy looked slightly bigger at ~13 weeks, so I don’t think we can tell just now.

Spoiler

 

Edited May 20, 2019 by VBOY9977