Josiah & Lauren 13: Drift, Duggars, Drift (Miscarriage Content Warning)

[fluffernutter]

17 hours ago, nastyhobbitses said:

Do not blaspheme the name of Divine. 

Also, I'm sure there will be a thousand thinkpieces on the problematicness of it all, but if they make the Superfluous Live-Action Little Mermaid Remake, I will fucking RIOT if they don't cast Latrice Royale as Ursula. 

Wait are you an Ursula lover too? I seriously LOVE her. 

[just_ordinary]

I don’t know. The post was rather short. And therefore much nicer than the endless babble Whitney, Jessa and Erin write. I didn’t even notice that there wasn’t any specific thing about her. There is nothing wrong with writing a generic message for SM. As I said better than the others who strike me as googling as manypositive characters attributes as possible and then using them all.

[TatiFish9]

12 hours ago, seraaa said:

[...]

Writing a generically nice but non-specific message might be a way of participating in the whole reality tv rigmarole while still maintaining privacy. It' s the perfect compromise if you want to mark the occasion, but don't want to gush on the internet. 

...

I agree. My husband and I go through this. I do not want to share intimate details of our lives online but my husband loves to. We found a happy medium. On special days we share pictures and short, specific captions that are not overly expressive, but enough to convey love. That way he gets his social media post and I get my need for privacy. Perfect.

I could only imagine what this may be like for a reality couple.

Plus for my people who are into birth charts, Josiah has an air moon. In my experince, folks with air moons tend ( not always and depending on placement) to have difficulty expressing emotions over the rational.

 I think they may be emotionally incompatible, but there is fire there with them. Where I believe she was once trying to mold him, it seems like they have relaxed into one another.

[seraaa]

7 minutes ago, TatiFish9 said:

Plus for my people who are into birth charts, Josiah has an air moon. In my experince, folks with air moons tend ( not always and depending on placement) to have difficulty expressing emotions over the rational.

Hah, I like it.

 

7 minutes ago, TatiFish9 said:

 I think they may be emotionally incompatible, but there is fire there with them. Where I believe she was once trying to mold him, it seems like they have relaxed into one another.

The two of them seemed they had a nice back and forth going, to me!

[TatiFish9]

21 minutes ago, seraaa said:

The two of them seemed they had a nice back and forth going, to me!

Yes. They seem to like witty banter and dead pan jokes. lol

[meee]

On 2/14/2019 at 5:03 PM, CarrotCake said:

Not a Duggar but JRod definitely got her make-up tutorials from Ursula.

I still say JRod is Cruella De Vil!

[Sullie06]

On 2/13/2019 at 2:01 PM, VelociRapture said:

I'm not religious, I’m firmly pro choice, I believe my loss was a potential child rather than an actual child, and I still opted to pick a name for the pregnancy we lost in a very early miscarriage. I know it’s weird and I can’t explain why, but it genuinely made me feel a little bit better having an actual name to refer to my loss by. My husband is the only person who knows the name, so it’s a private thing for just the two of us.

I don't think that's weird at all. We all have our own way of grieving and experiencing is miscarriage is a different kind of grief. You are grieving for a life you didn't know, you never got to touch or interact with but was a part of you both physically and emotionally. I'm not religious either but my losses both had heartbeats prior to losing them so for me naming them validated their short existence in this would and allowed me to move on. We knew from genetic testing after my D&Cs the gender. Our first loss was a boy so we named him Finn and our second was a girl so we named her Kaia. I chose names we liked but would never use on a living child for one reason or another. 

[neurogirl]

Wasn't sure what thread to put this in but involves both Jessa and Lauren and has miscarriage discussion, so didn't want to use Jessa's trigger-free thread. Lauren and Jessa had the exact same due date. That is a whole new level of pain. Very Jesusy, very pro-life, but it seems Jessa is being very sensitive in regards to her SIL.

[Iamtheway]

Poor, poor Lauren. It must be so sad to follow Jessa’s pregnancy and know that’s where she was supposed to be as well. It would be extra awful to go through a misscarriage or infidelity in this kind of family where someone is always pregnant or has a baby.

I actually thought Jessa’s message was less Jesusy and pro-life then I would have expected from her and very sensitive and supportive. 

[Casserole]

Way more Jesus-y than necessary, but I will give credit for Jessa acknowledging how painful it must be for Lauren. In a culture where the women are forced to submit and always smile and "keep sweet" I hope Lauren is allowed space and no one will judge her for not wanting to attend baby showers or gender reveals or baby nursery set ups. 

 

Granted, if those are plot lines she will probably be forced to participate for compensation, because TLC paycheck. 

[Sky with diamonds]

That post from Jessa made me tear up. 

One thing, maybe just me, but I wish she didn't have the pic of her pregnant belly added to it. 

[Tangy Bee]

Not being funny. But do fundies believe in taking any type of "nerve" pills?? Micheal Bates has to watch younger sisters getting pregnant almost instantly...and appears ok. Jana still waiting, while younger sibs are married and making babies...and appears ok. Now Lauren has to hear about ALL the other babies coming this summer...and try to be "ok", about it. Well I know everyone won't always walk around on egg shells around these ladies. I admire their courage and grace, especially with half the world knowing their pain. 

[Snarkasarus Rex]

1 hour ago, Sky with diamonds said:

That post from Jessa made me tear up. 

One thing, maybe just me, but I wish she didn't have the pic of her pregnant belly added to it. 

Not just you.  It was a nice post, but I don't think the bump pic belonged in it...

[Georgiana]

5 minutes ago, Snarkasarus Rex said:

Not just you.  It was a nice post, but I don't think the bump pic belonged in it...

I think Jessa wanted to reach a large and specific audience, and she knew the best way to do that would be to put it on a bump pic. Duggar pregnancy updates get a lot of attention, even from people who otherwise might not follow their social media, and by tying this to her bump pic, she ensured it would reach a wider audience.

It’s worth noting that this is not your standard Duggar bump pic. It’s less staged, and there’s only one bump pic, while the rest are Jessa’s message. To me, it looks like where Jessa really spent her time was on the message, and the bump is almost bait to get people to read the post. The sad fact is, if Jessa had made this its own post, there WOULD be a lot of people who would ignore it or pass it over. And a lot of those people are the people Jessa wants to talk to about responding to the loss of a pregnancy, so in order to draw them in and reach them, she’s done a bit of a bait and switch. 

It’s not perfect. But for the first time it’s a Duggar who appears to be knowingly exploiting the interest in the state of their uterus to advance a positive message. Emotionally, it’s not the best. But in terms of getting the message out and raising awareness of the harm many well-meaning people do with their words when it comes to pregnancy loss, she’s right that a bump post will get the attention she’s looking for from the people she’s looking to speak to. 

[JesSky03]

12 hours ago, Casserole said:

Way more Jesus-y than necessary, but I will give credit for Jessa acknowledging how painful it must be for Lauren. In a culture where the women are forced to submit and always smile and "keep sweet" I hope Lauren is allowed space and no one will judge her for not wanting to attend baby showers or gender reveals or baby nursery set ups. 

 

Granted, if those are plot lines she will probably be forced to participate for compensation, because TLC paycheck. 

I disagree. I don't think she focused too much on God at all and did a really good job of focusing on Lauren. And they are Christians after all, and during times of hardship it is normal to lean on your faith and Lauren probably found that comforting. 

[tabitha2]

I mean...even mainstream Christians are going to mention God and prayers in a post like that. That’s just natural and meaningful for a very religious family of any kind. 

[AtlanticTug]

12 hours ago, Tangy Bee said:

Not being funny. But do fundies believe in taking any type of "nerve" pills?? Micheal Bates has to watch younger sisters getting pregnant almost instantly...and appears ok. Jana still waiting, while younger sibs are married and making babies...and appears ok. Now Lauren has to hear about ALL the other babies coming this summer...and try to be "ok", about it. Well I know everyone won't always walk around on egg shells around these ladies. I admire their courage and grace, especially with half the world knowing their pain. 

I doubt it since they think that you can pray away depression. I highly doubt that they would have a more evolved view on anxiety either.

[Iamtheway]

22 hours ago, Iamtheway said:

Poor, poor Lauren. It must be so sad to follow Jessa’s pregnancy and know that’s where she was supposed to be as well. It would be extra awful to go through a misscarriage or infidelity in this kind of family where someone is always pregnant or has a baby.

I actually thought Jessa’s message was less Jesusy and pro-life then I would have expected from her and very sensitive and supportive. 

Quoting myself because I see I wrote ”infidelity” when I meant ”infertility”. And they are not the same at all ... both do suck though and both would probably suck a little extra if you were a Duggar. 

For me personally I think everything in my life would probably suck if I had to be a Duggar. I sometimes think about what it would be like if I was on ”Wife swap” with one of the Duggars. It would be excellent tv. 

[Anna Bolinas]

11 hours ago, AtlanticTug said:

I doubt it since they think that you can pray away depression. I highly doubt that they would have a more evolved view on anxiety either.

I had a fundie-adjacent girl tell me that the reason I was still depressed and anxious despite being on medicine was that I had not accepted Jesus into my heart. Then she kept trying to make me go to her Baptist church. I took a hard pass on that one.

[NakedKnees]

Regarding Jesus-y ness, I think it read pretty mainstream. It's normal for religious people to turn to their faith in times like this. For me it would be weird, but I'm an atheist and pretty much everyone I'm close to knows that. It wasn't pro life soapboxy or anything like that, which would be a whole other thing.

I do think it's an interesting pill to swallow here on FJ after all our speculation of everyone getting pregnant at once during the Duggar news drought. It's an important reminder of how serious the subject matter of pregnancy in the public eye can be.

[lexiloumarie]

If you look at Jessa's face, it doesn't read as a happy bump update either. She looked very sad to me in it - liked she'd had to stop herself from crying. She doesn't always strike me as the most emotional of the sisters, but she seems very genuine with this post and her reactions. 

[Markie]

I watched the latest episode On Demand. The set up filming days were lame for Josiah and Lauren. Looks like the crew was with them the first day the arrived in Vienna and their last full day in Salzburg. I hope they had a good 5-7 days in between to check out the country, cuisine and each other without a film crew. There are so many beautiful things to see and do in Austria. I felt the same with the other honeymoons; TLC tends to film lame and mockable bits. 

[Sullie06]

I think this message from Jessa was exactly when Lauren needed to see. That acknowledgement that they see her pain and grief and share it. That pregnancy loss, as an unfortunate part of life, is not uncommon or taboo and that sometimes words both help and hurt. Knowing that they shared a due date breaks my heart even more from Lauren. Its hard enough to go through to but them have your sister in law exactly where you would have been is devastating. I hope they are ready to offer her support again this summer. 

[picklepizzas]

Anyone else see that Lauren just posted a thrive ad? Did they go back on their cancellation of them? Or, I guess that Instagram comment said they wouldn’t be working with them as of March 1st which technically hasn’t happened yet but personally if a company fired me I’d feel so mortified I’d stop shilling for them immediately. 

Edited February 25, 2019 by picklepizzas

[SadieJane]

  So,  my sister and I found out that we were both pregnant around the same time. I have had miscarriages before but this one stuck, meanwhile my sister miscarried around 8 weeks. It was devastating and it was almost hard to be around each other. I felt like she resented me a bit, and she probably did,  and I had some guilt that I was having such a decent pregnancy.  I asked her to give my son his middle name. She is also his god mother.  I can completely not only understand what Lauren is going through, but I also can guess how Jessa feels.  My heart goes out to everyone who's been through this.