Josiah & Lauren 13: Drift, Duggars, Drift (Miscarriage Content Warning)

[Galbin]

I had a very early miscarriage and can relate to poor Lauren. It is devastating.

[Snarkasarus Rex]

5 minutes ago, Galbin said:

I had a very early miscarriage and can relate to poor Lauren. It is devastating.

That’s why I cringe when someone announces that they’re 5 minutes pregnant.  I had an early miscarriage as well and it was horrible enough telling the 3 people I confided in, much less the whole world. 

[Nicole Jinger Duggar]

So someone uploaded the clip. Pregnancy confirmed, miscarriage unconfirmed. They announce and there's a talking head later of her crying but that's it. Hmm...if they're insinuating she miscarried and she didn't that's so trashy. 

[ihaveanexamintwodays]

Miscarriage heavily implied. I do feel bad for them. A hard and sad thing to go through....particularly just months into their barely-put-together marriage. I hope it's something they have grown stronger through.

[nst]

6 hours ago, Satan'sFortress said:

 

I am 50 and my period is never ever ever going to stop.

 

all i can say to that...is it will and you will want it back if you go thru peri menopause. so enjoy it. 

because the alternative is mind altering at least it is for me. Up until 2 weeks ago after a year and half where i felt like dog poo emotionally and needed two massages a week and now within the past two weeks due to my new naturpath has made me a new normal woman and i only needed one a week.  

yay me 

Edited February 11, 2019 by nst

[HarleyQuinn]

Using a miscarriage as a teaser for the next episode is kind of trashy. 

[Rik_Bik]

I was really hoping that’d they’d taken a page out of Jinger and Jeremy’s book and were waiting for a bit before trying. Super scummy of the producers to have her doing a TH about being pregnant/announcing and then having to reveal she miscarried (and do that alone) if that’s what happened. 

[JillyO]

2 hours ago, Nicole Jinger Duggar said:

So someone uploaded the clip. Pregnancy confirmed, miscarriage unconfirmed. They announce and there's a talking head later of her crying but that's it. Hmm...if they're insinuating she miscarried and she didn't that's so trashy. 

That would have been filmed months ago though, and we've seen recent pictures of Lauren 1) with a perfectly flat stomach and 2) in line to ride a rollercoaster, so it's pretty obvious she's not pregnant now.

I feel really bad for her/them. How trashy of TLC to make her miscarriage into a teaser for the next episode.

[SorenaJ]

Why would Lauren agree to have her miscarriage used as promo for the show? Maybe she didn't have a choice? Regardless, poor Lauren. I don't know, but I could imagine it would be tougher since it's the first pregnancy, if she had four already that been normal, easy pregnancies and births, then you at least know that it can happen, but since it's the first one, you don't have that reassurance. 

[adidas]

Some things need to be kept between partners  I hope Lauren wasn’t pressured into disclosing her miscarriage. Poor thing. 

I’m genuinely wondering how Michelle would comfort Lauren, after blaming her own miscarriage on BC. Now that SiRen have done everything “right” according to the rules (courtship, waiting for marriage, not using BC), how do they make sense of it in their brainwashed view of how the world works?  

Edited February 11, 2019 by adidas

[Chewing Gum]

37 minutes ago, SorenaJ said:

Why would Lauren agree to have her miscarriage used as promo for the show? Maybe she didn't have a choice? Regardless, poor Lauren. I don't know, but I could imagine it would be tougher since it's the first pregnancy, if she had four already that been normal, easy pregnancies and births, then you at least know that it can happen, but since it's the first one, you don't have that reassurance. 

She wouldn't know about the teaser, and would probably have been told that by sharing her story, she's helping others. Which isn't untrue, it's just a lot to be asking of her. 

Edited February 11, 2019 by Chewing Gum

[19tacos&counting]

New video just posted. She did have an early miscarriage. I feel for them. She says she wanted to share their miscarriage because so many people stuffer and don’t say anything. I hope that’s true, but I wonder how much of it was forced for ratings. 

[curlykate]

Having suffered a loss myself, I really sincerely hope that Lauren wanted to share this, and was not pressured into it in any way. Especially when it’s so new and fresh in her mind  

It’s been almost five years since my loss, and I still don’t talk to most people about parts of it. Only close family members and friends know all of the details. 

[Howl]

On 1/28/2019 at 8:15 AM, Mama Mia said:

As to periods and menopause both sucking - absolutely. 

But what comes AFTER both is pretty great. The general old age parts kinda suck, a lot. But the end of hormone swings? No more cramps or hot flashes? No hassles with blood or rando homicidal rages? All of that is fan-fucking-tastic. 

Preach it, Sister! 

I had severe pms for two weeks out of every damn month from 14 or 15 until 55.  It switched on the minute ovulation was over and switched off (literally) the minute I got my period.  Then the severe cramps started.  Yeah, menopause.  70 now and do bio-identical hormone replacement now and really like it. 

It helped me to figure things out when, at sometime in my 30s, I learned what PMS was and that I had it; however, NOTHING (and I tried everything) helped.  There is a possibility that I had antibodies to follicle stimulating hormone or some other issue. 

As my gynecologist told me, women (like me) who have had a hard time with various issues that get worse in perimenopause AND have a late onset of menopause are PISSED OFF, because we're so ready to be DONE with all that shit. 

[JesSky03]

I really feel for them. It was hard enough going through a loss after 4 years of marriage, I can't imagine going through it during the first year after barely getting any alone time together. I do think its possible that they did really want to talk about it though I just hope they were both truly ready at that point. I've always been relatively open about my losses and I have actually connected to quite a few women thru shared losses and infertility that I would have never known had I never talked about my experiences. I actually had a co-worker reach out to me after she had been secretly dealing with secondary infertility for 5 years. She was getting no help from her current doctor and was about ready to give up. I referred her to my RE and just last month she delivered twins. She still hasn't told anyone else that they conceived with the help of a fertility doctor so I'm just honored that she felt comfortable enough to open up to me. 

[HeadshipRegent]

This is very sad. ?  I really feel for them and hope Lauren gets the support she needs. 

[Chewing Gum]

43 minutes ago, curlykate said:

Having suffered a loss myself, I really sincerely hope that Lauren wanted to share this, and was not pressured into it in any way. Especially when it’s so new and fresh in her mind  

It’s been almost five years since my loss, and I still don’t talk to most people about parts of it. Only close family members and friends know all of the details. 

All of this. I've had 3 in 6 months time a couples of years ago and only a few people know. It was just too much for me to share.

[Chewing Gum]

Also, can someone take a picture of the article? Europeans can't see the site.

[ihaveanexamintwodays]

in the article she confirms she miscarried in October, that she suddenly felt sick and crampy one day a few weeks after they learned they were expecting, and that Josiah had no idea what was going on or how to help but Lauren's mom was able to be there for her. 

 

really makes me wonder about that anti-abortion film showing they went to, that they posted about on instagram in mid-October.....they also went to that "Loving Choices" pregnancy center "banquet" with the Seewalds in late October. Miscarriage likely just re-affirmed their pro-life stance. 

Edited February 11, 2019 by ihaveanexamintwodays

[karen77]

53 minutes ago, JesSky03 said:

I really feel for them. It was hard enough going through a loss after 4 years of marriage, I can't imagine going through it during the first year after barely getting any alone time together. I do think its possible that they did really want to talk about it though I just hope they were both truly ready at that point. I've always been relatively open about my losses and I have actually connected to quite a few women thru shared losses and infertility that I would have never known had I never talked about my experiences. I actually had a co-worker reach out to me after she had been secretly dealing with secondary infertility for 5 years. She was getting no help from her current doctor and was about ready to give up. I referred her to my RE and just last month she delivered twins. She still hasn't told anyone else that they conceived with the help of a fertility doctor so I'm just honored that she felt comfortable enough to open up to me. 

This is also why I talk about my infertility issues with anyone. I've found SO many people that have also gone through it, it's amazing. I hope it helps people feel like they aren't alone.

[VineHeart137]

4 minutes ago, Chewing Gum said:

Also, can someone take a picture of the article? Europeans can't see the site.

The tlcme page doesn't say much beyond "Our thoughts are with the couple." But here's a People article that also shows a sneak peek of them talking about the day she lost the baby. I'll quote the text under the spoiler in case you can't see it.

https://people.com/tv/josiah-duggar-lauren-swanson-miscarriage/amp/

Spoiler

Josiah Duggar and his wife Lauren Swansonare opening up about their heartbreaking loss.

In PEOPLE’s exclusive sneak peek from the new season of Counting On, the TLC stars reveal they suffered a miscarriage in October.

“Lauren and I were actually preparing for a trip to go to a friend’s wedding,” says Josiah, 22. “She started feeling really sick and started noticing some different things. Mrs. Swanson was there, so she was able to help her out. I didn’t know exactly what was going on.”

“I wasn’t feeling well,” recalls 19-year-old Lauren, breaking down in tears. “I was cramping really, really bad, which was quite strange because I normally don’t. I was thinking maybe I had something that had gluten in it. It was late at night and I went to use the restroom and there was the baby. Gone. I couldn’t believe it and I was hoping it wasn’t true.”

The couple got engaged in March 2018 and married on June 30 at John Brown University Cathedral of the Ozarks in Siloam Springs, Arkansas.

He continued: “I so appreciate Lauren’s Christ like character and tender heart toward others. She bring sunshine into the room and encourages everyone around her. It’s always stood out to me that in every situation, she looks for the one who appears to be sad or lonely and quickly can brighten their day by sharing words of hope, an encouraging scripture, a prayer or even a simple smile with them.”

Counting On returns Monday at 9 p.m. ET on TLC.

 

I feel for them. I can't imagine the pain of pregnancy loss. Echoing PPs, I hope they're being so open about it because she truly wants to help others going through the same thing and not because ratings.

[singsingsing]

This is why we can't make assumptions about birth control or sexual activity based on the fact that it's been X number of months without a pregnancy announcement. Miscarriage is a reality. So is struggling to conceive. So many people were convinced, I mean really convinced, that Josiah and Lauren were using some method of family planning, or were not having sex, simply because they hadn't announced a pregnancy yet. 

And they're the ones who've chosen to talk. We don't know how many other fundie couples went through miscarriages or difficulties conceiving and just stayed quiet about it. This is exactly why we can't assume X couple is preventing because it's been X number of months/years without an announcement. It's true for the Vuolos, the Seewalds, the Dillards, all of them. Unless they decide to share, we have no idea what's really going on.

I'm sorry Lauren had to go through a miscarriage. I hope it really was her choice to share it on TV.

[Satan'sFortress]

A possibly triggering, probably insensitive miscarriage question under spoiler:

Spoiler

I know this sounds crass, but I am actually, genuinely curious in terms of understanding fundies.   Based on their beliefs about life beginning at conception, what do fundies do when they have an early miscarriage? Do you think they are able to take the fetus and do they bury it?  It sounds like this was very early, and at home.  What would they do in a situation like that?

 

[JesSky03]

16 minutes ago, Satan'sFortress said:

A possibly triggering, probably insensitive miscarriage question under spoiler:

  Hide contents

I know this sounds crass, but I am actually, genuinely curious in terms of understanding fundies.   Based on their beliefs about life beginning at conception, what do fundies do when they have an early miscarriage? Do you think they are able to take the fetus and do they bury it?  It sounds like this was very early, and at home.  What would they do in a situation like that?

 

Responding in a spoiler as well due to the sensitive topic...

Spoiler

I have heard of people saving the tissue or fetus and burying it in the backyard*. My first stopped growing at 7 weeks, and it was far enough along that I actually went through labor pains and I could tell when I passed the actual fetus. Personally, I couldn't bring myself try and fish mine out of the toilet, it would have been too traumatic. Just bringing myself to flush was hard enough and I feel sad just thinking about it (this was 3 years ago).  My second loss didn't develop enough for me to even try and collect tissue and again, it would have been too traumatic either way. I do have necklaces with their would have been birth stones and a couple tattoos in honor of them. I also bought a keepsake box where I store the ultrasound pictures, the items I used to announce my pregnancy, and even the tests are still in there. I think everyone deals with the loss in their own individual way. 

 

*Coming back to say the people I knew who had done this were non-fundies so it wouldn't shock me if fundies did this as well but I wouldn't consider it a fundie specific ritual or even think they are more likely to do this type of thing. 

 

Edited February 11, 2019 by JesSky03

[mstee]

My first pregnancy ended in an early miscarriage and I couldn’t even talk about it without sobbing for months. I remember my boss asking me what was wrong (I guess I looked upset) and I told her I couldn’t talk about what was wrong without crying. I couldn’t even think about it without crying. I was a total mess. Of course, everyone handles it differently.  I got pregnant (with my now daughter) soon after and it really stuck with me. I didn’t feel bonded to my baby my entire pregnancy. I was scared to bond with her in utero. It all changed and became positive once she was born, but geez. It was rough. 

I commend Lauren for having the strength to open up about it and I hope that she is healing alright. Even though it it’s common, it doesn’t make it any less tough.