Josiah & Lauren 13: Drift, Duggars, Drift (Miscarriage Content Warning)

[Jellybean]

Continued from here:

Note: subsequent pages of this thread discuss Lauren's miscarriage. There is also discussion of abortion which some readers may find upsetting, particularly as it’s in the same discussion as miscarriage. Reader discretion advised. - @Jellybeanand@choralcrusader8613

[Mama Mia]

As to periods and menopause both sucking - absolutely. 

But what comes AFTER both is pretty great. The general old age parts kinda suck, a lot. But the end of hormone swings? No more cramps or hot flashes? No hassles with blood or rando homicidal rages? All of that is fan-fucking-tastic. 

 

 

[bal maiden]

@VeryNikeSeamstress your vagina pushing out tampons could be that you are bearing down with your core muscles when you work out, rather than pulling up. This used to happen to me with my cup, until (hallelujah!) after my second child, a women's physiotherapist who specialises in pelvic floor and women's core muscles taught me how to stop bearing down when I engaged my core. 

[backyard sylph]

On 1/28/2019 at 9:15 AM, Mama Mia said:

As to periods and menopause both sucking - absolutely. 

But what comes AFTER both is pretty great. The general old age parts kinda suck, a lot. But the end of hormone swings? No more cramps or hot flashes? No hassles with blood or rando homicidal rages? All of that is fan-fucking-tastic. 

 

 

It's the perimenopause that sucks. Menopause is when it's all over. I am so close. It will have taken eight years of perimenopause, and this final year was made entirely of hot flashes. But they have begun to decrease in number, and I just need to make it to June to have concluded this long long occasionally merciless chapter in my life.

Edited February 4, 2019 by backyard sylph
syntax

[Mama Mia]

2 hours ago, backyard sylph said:

It's the perimenopause that sucks. Menopause is when it's all over. I am so close. It will have taken eight years of perimenopause, and this final year was made entirely of hot flashes. But they have begun to decrease in number, and I just need to make it to June to have concluded this long long occasionally merciless chapter in my life.

Today I learned something new ! I never knew that peri menopause covered the whole course through, and menopause was just the official one year since a period. 

I had a partial hysterectomy in my early 40’s. It took my one stupid ovary most of a decade to figure out it could stop with damn hot flashes and emotional overload. 

[fluffernutter]

8 hours ago, backyard sylph said:

It's the perimenopause that sucks. Menopause is when it's all over. I am so close. It will have taken eight years of perimenopause, and this final year was made entirely of hot flashes. But they have begun to decrease in number, and I just need to make it to June to have concluded this long long occasionally merciless chapter in my life.

I'm in the middle of peri too. It's been 5 months since I've had a period. When it comes, it'll last about three weeks and be awful. But I still get wicked pms every month, whether the flow happens or not.  The heat flashes at night are awful. Hot, freezing, hot, freezing. And I have to have air blasting on me. I'm 46, this has been going on for maybe 4 years. 

[PennySycamore]

A friend of mine and I were talking about how much we love our fans at night.  

[JillyO]

My mom is 59 and still in perimenopause. Well over 10 years of hot flashes... Bless her heart! I can only hope I didn't inherit that from her.

[JordynDarby5]

I don't have perimenopause but medical problems that including inflammation. Horrible, horrible heat. Its like having a permanent sauna on the inside or a hundred and twenty degrees especially in my head. I'm constantly sweating. The only thing that helps is cold weather. Thirty degrees, twenty degrees. I have a ceiling fan, stand up fan, and air conditioner unit in my room to keep cold even in the winter. Sometimes just lay there with the window opened when its 20 degrees, both fans and the air condition unit running and it feels great. 

[backyard sylph]

On 2/4/2019 at 10:00 PM, fluffernutter said:

I'm in the middle of peri too. It's been 5 months since I've had a period. When it comes, it'll last about three weeks and be awful. But I still get wicked pms every month, whether the flow happens or not.  The heat flashes at night are awful. Hot, freezing, hot, freezing. And I have to have air blasting on me. I'm 46, this has been going on for maybe 4 years. 

Gosh, mine started the week I turned 46, and looks like it will end just as I turn 54. I hope you get through it soon.

[mollysmom]

4 minutes ago, backyard sylph said:

Gosh, mine started the week I turned 46, and looks like it will end just as I turn 54. I hope you get through it soon.

Probably a silly question but I've honestly done research on this because I never knew much about it but how will I know when I'm starting perimenopause? I had a hysterectomy a few years ago (kept my ovaries) so I obviously haven't had a period since the surgery (thank God!) but how do you know when yours started and that it will end as you turn 54?

[backyard sylph]

Just now, mollysmom said:

Probably a silly question but I've honestly done research on this because I never knew much about it but how will I know when I'm starting perimenopause? I had a hysterectomy a few years ago (kept my ovaries) so I obviously haven't had a period since the surgery (thank God!) but how do you know when yours started and that it will end as you turn 54?

Well, I'm not sure my experience is typical? But at least parts of it are. The period I had that first month was unlike any other, and from that point forward, the length changed, the time between cycles, and the flow, all becoming heavier, more erratic, and then for awhile shorter in cycle. It was like bang, there you are. I read that the process typically lasts six years. I had some wild mood swings at first, but that faded. Periods changed again, becoming shorter and lighter. I started gaining weight. I felt itchy. And so, so stupid. I was seeing a doctor for something else, and she said it was all ordinary.

I thought I'd be done at 51 like my mom, and I was upset about that for quite awhile. She died two years later with breast cancer. It just ramped up more then, though. 

Anyway, I've had hot flashes for a couple years, and all last year I'd have several an hour, seemingly all day and night. But my last period was in June and I've had no obvious other cycle signs nearly since then. I have always known when I was ovulating, and I know I haven't done that since summer. Recently, the hot flashes are very diminished. So if I make it to June again with no more cycles and these other signs fade, that's that, 12 months.

So some of these things will occur to let you know your hormones are fluctuating, I guess, since you have no period. It might take a little while to realize it, like, "why can't I remember anything anymore?" Hopefully, you will have an easy time of it. I look forward to getting my brain back.

[justmy2cents]

Since we're sharing, tomorrow I will officially be in menopause a month before my 52nd birthday. A year since my last period. My perimenopause hasn't been bad at all. My periods got progressively lighter over the past 10 years. My cycles did become more erratic but nothing too crazy. My cramps pretty much completely subsided and I've only had a few light hot flashes. I didn't really identify them as hot flashes at the time since only my face got a little hot but I didn't break out in a sweat or anything. My friends have run the gamut from hitting menopause in their mid 40's to mid 50's, some with some having severe hot flashes and others very few. We all go through our own journey. I'm just happy to be almost done without feeling like a hormonal mess. Wishing an easy transition to my fellow free jingerites going through it.

[EmmieJ]

I think I started perimenopause around age 45, 12 years ago.  Prior to that, my periods were usually regular, cramps fairly mild, no headaches associated with my cycle.  My PMS symptoms (irritability, bloating) did get much more pronounced from age 35 on.  But the hot flashes during perimenopause were brutal.  Fucking brutal.  I still get some flashes, mostly at night, but much more bearable.  I also had some outrageous outbursts of rage, which were embarrassing after the fact but thankfully, no one was injured, just yelled at.

[libgirl2]

On 2/4/2019 at 3:08 PM, Mama Mia said:

Today I learned something new ! I never knew that peri menopause covered the whole course through, and menopause was just the official one year since a period. 

I had a partial hysterectomy in my early 40’s. It took my one stupid ovary most of a decade to figure out it could stop with damn hot flashes and emotional overload. 

I had a partial in my early 30s. I am now in my early 50s. I honestly don't know if I have gone through menopause. Hot flashes? I get warm sometimes but no where near what I have heard I would go through. That's about it. 

[Meggo]

Mood swings and erratic periods? Hell - I've been dealing with that since I was 12. (except for while I was on the pill). And I swear infertility drugs made my brain into swiss cheese and I'm not entirely sure I've ever quite gotten past that. Though I blame it on my son now (he's almost 6) - there were several years before him (4 maybe?) where I had ONLY the meds to blame it on. 

My doc said it was kind of like pregnancy brain but without the pregnancy. Fun times.

[Mama Mia]

1 hour ago, libgirl2 said:

I had a partial in my early 30s. I am now in my early 50s. I honestly don't know if I have gone through menopause. Hot flashes? I get warm sometimes but no where near what I have heard I would go through. That's about it. 

It sounds like you have  nice, intelligent,  ovary (ies) that didn’t fight a losing battle and calmly eased off on the hormone production, or you would have had an easy transition in any case, or - worse case- they’ve been chugging along producing estrogen and you would have had a late menopause and they are saving up. My mom and grandma were both 55-56  before they officially hit that milestone. 

[libgirl2]

1 hour ago, Mama Mia said:

It sounds like you have  nice, intelligent,  ovary (ies) that didn’t fight a losing battle and calmly eased off on the hormone production, or you would have had an easy transition in any case, or - worse case- they’ve been chugging along producing estrogen and you would have had a late menopause and they are saving up. My mom and grandma were both 55-56  before they officially hit that milestone. 

The doctor always asks me if I need any hormone replacement and I say, I'm doing fine as is, so why start? Unless something changes... 

My ovaries thank you for the compliment! 

[backyard sylph]

3 hours ago, libgirl2 said:

I had a partial in my early 30s. I am now in my early 50s. I honestly don't know if I have gone through menopause. Hot flashes? I get warm sometimes but no where near what I have heard I would go through. That's about it. 

Nah, you'd know if they were. So, yay. ?

One of my daughters laughed and told me Nature didn't want to let go of my fertile ground, that's why it's taking so long. She can laugh now. 

But I have not had it nearly as hard as some women do, by any means. The worst parts for me are the weight gain and stupidity. It's just taking a long time. 

[xlurker]

Time to share!  LOL  My cycles didn't become "normal" until I was in my 40's, which, by the way, is when I started having occasional "tropical moments"   KInda felt like I was blushing, but nothing terrible, and I thought that they were hot flashes. HA!  Cycles began to become erratic again--short/long/heavy/light.  You name it.  And then it happened THE hot flash.  Oh Lord, felt like my ears were going to spontaneously combust.  From that point for close to a year there were no cycles but multiple combusting flashes a day--and the night sweats are the worst.  Fast forward, haven't cycled in better than 2 years, but still have those small tropical moments every so often---the feeling of my ears going up in flames only happens every couple of months now. And are getting fewer and fewer.  I almost feel normal again  

[miss_batson]

 

[HarleyQuinn]

Kissing photos are so awkward. 

[seraaa]

4 hours ago, miss_batson said:

 

Orlando? Are they going to Disneyland? I hope they go to Disneyland. 

[VBOY9977]

1 hour ago, seraaa said:

Orlando? Are they going to Disneyland? I hope they go to Disneyland. 

They went to Disney (world). Someone saw them and posted the pic to Fundie Wonderland Facebook group

Edited February 8, 2019 by VBOY9977

[KeshetParparNesicha]

I'm regretting my prediction of a baby for them. They still look so uncomfortable with each other.