Dillards 73: A Bitter Dill

[CaricatureQualities]

Sweet green beans: 

-Why the turkey bacon? I'm not a fan of it anyway because it's taking one meat and loading it with a ton of sodium to pretend to be a completely different meat and not succeed...but whatever. Not in a recipe like this though, that's just stupid. As to them not eating pork because of their religious views and "convictions"...I don't care, they just plucked it out of the OT to look and feel like they are super special religious. Like their other convictions and practices they pick randomly out of the OT for no reason other than it's in the bible and it supports their views and/or IBLP teachings.

-Why is the recipe so huge? If it was a smaller portion it wouldn't look as excessive. Green beans with some crispy bacon and brown sugar sounds good but why 5lbs of them with 2 cups of sugar and 1 cup of butter? Who is she feeding? she is in a family of 4. Is she just trying to appeal to mega brood families like her own on social media? Because I would think that her main audience on social media would be people not needing mega sized recipes for things...yet. And critics looking to slam her next recipe post. Either way, why is she taking perfectly good recipes and "adapting" them into large piles of shit for her online followers?

You know, sometimes I almost feel like people should lay off Jill and her terrible cooking....but then she just keeps sharing such baffling things and it's like "is she fucking with us or what"? Like, recently she shared BBQ canned tuna....a family tradition...again.

Why Rufus Why can't the BBQ tuna just fucking die?

 Eat tuna and BBQ sauce sandwiches all you want just stop reminding everyone of it and trying to make it into some special thing. The BBQ tuna seemed like a delicacy because idiot Jim Bob fed his kids canned veggies with ketchup as a dipping sauce for a week because M was away at some conference . If you have the money to fly to a stupid conference you have enough money to feed your kids actual fucking meals. Shut up about the BBQ tuna. It wasn't some great lesson about being resourceful in hard times, it was just incompetence.  Incompetence isn't a virtue, get over it. 

And that's my rant about Jill's green beans because I can't even start with Wreck and his twitterings about Planned Parenthood. You know Cathy is all actively against evil PP. It makes me SO MAD. Anyway, she once got a letter from them because someone signed her up or made a donation in her name or something and she was scandalized. Maybe we shoud start some campaign to donate to PP in Derick Dillard's name so he will get a bunch of notifications and know how much good he is doing. Wouldn't that be an excellent way to troll him.

[JordynDarby5]

12 hours ago, lizzybee said:

Yep, you've got to pull everything off. The whole thing'll be at your ankles when you pee. 

 

7 hours ago, Don'tlikekoolaid said:

IKR and then you have to keep the whole ensemble off the bathroom floor, especially if your in a public washroom! 

That's exactly why I hate those things and stopped wearing them as a kid. I hated to have to always to practically naked just to go the bathroom and trying to keep it from touching the dirty floor. 

[Dandruff]

8 hours ago, AussieKrissy said:

Even me, who will pretty much eat anything, would pass on this sweaty grotty mix. Actually I think that about most of her stuff.

Looks like someone beat the crap out of it then put it in a dish to die.

 

[HereticHick]

10 hours ago, JillyO said:

I just ordered my first one-piece bathing suit in over 10 years. The one thing that I'm really dreading is going to the bathroom. I have lots of memories of sitting on the toilet completely naked with my bathing suits around my knees (I was a competitive swimmer growing up, so I spent LOTS of time at the pool). I think a lot of jump suits and rompers (the short version) are super cute, just like the one-piece bathing suits that are currently in style, but I am NOT looking forward to sitting naked on a Mexican hotel toilet next month.

This is why its tankinis forever for me.

[karen77]

11 hours ago, JillyO said:

I just ordered my first one-piece bathing suit in over 10 years. The one thing that I'm really dreading is going to the bathroom. I have lots of memories of sitting on the toilet completely naked with my bathing suits around my knees (I was a competitive swimmer growing up, so I spent LOTS of time at the pool). I think a lot of jump suits and rompers (the short version) are super cute, just like the one-piece bathing suits that are currently in style, but I am NOT looking forward to sitting naked on a Mexican hotel toilet next month.

I AM looking forward to sipping cocktails on the beach though, so who am I to complain.

the trick with bathing suits is just to scoot the crotch area to the side and pee carefully! problem solved.

[clueliss]

Can someone please grift Jill food photo lessons?  Because those muffins have zero appeal looking at them in the muffin tins.

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

14 minutes ago, clueliss said:

Can someone please grift Jill food photo lessons?  Because those muffins have zero appeal looking at them in the muffin tins.

I'm torn between wanting to take her by the hand and be a mentoring kind motherly type to her, and grabbing her by the shoulders and shaking her while yelling, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, do you not have a lick of common sense?  Mostly I just want to pat her head and say "bless your heart" 

[Four is Enough]

20 hours ago, karen77 said:

So.... with jumpsuits.... I've always wondered, how do you go to the bathroom easily?

You don't. And for God's sake, don't be a tall, long waisted girl in a jumpsuit.... think camel toe. Always trying to pick that stuff out of your  coozie...

20 hours ago, lizzybee said:

Yep, you've got to pull everything off. The whole thing'll be at your ankles when you pee. 

Hold that up, hold up your purse, pick up what falls out of your pocket.... It's best to just avoid jumpsuits , LOL!

 

16 hours ago, patsymae said:

Me, too. I grew up on cheap food and my mother was an indifferent cook, and I mostly eat healthy but have a few gross comfort foods--think Spam sliced thin and fried on white bread--maybe once a year when I run out of antidepressants, but her stuff makes me gag.

I have a friend whose ex husband makes THE BEST Spam fried  rice. I know he uses the low sodium  variety, but, for the life of me, I        can NOT make it taste like his. That used to be a biannual treat for me...

[Blessings of the Corn]

3 hours ago, karen77 said:

the trick with bathing suits is just to scoot the crotch area to the side and pee carefully! problem solved.

I figured this out at a young age. Trying to peel down a wet bathing suit is next to impossible as it is, haha. As far as jumpsuits/rompers go, yeah, it can be a little awkward, but they're so cute/comfy! Pull on one item of clothing and run out the door.

[acheronbeach]

1 hour ago, clueliss said:

Can someone please grift Jill food photo lessons?  Because those muffins have zero appeal looking at them in the muffin tins.

Not sure what she was trying to accomplish here.  They just look like collapsed, colourless lumps.  

I'm curious about the taste because the ingredients make it sound like an overbaked banana-peanut custard.  As usual, Jill has no description other than "very moist" and "we loved them."  Gee, thanks, Jill.  

[Audrey2]

5 hours ago, HereticHick said:

This is why its tankinis forever for me.

They are also easier to canoe in and don't creep into your bits.

[Dandruff]

3 hours ago, clueliss said:

Can someone please grift Jill food photo lessons?

Jill's food photos seem to have about the same taste and appeal as hubby's tweets.  

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

1 hour ago, Blessings of the Corn said:

5 hours ago, karen77 said:

the trick with bathing suits is just to scoot the crotch area to the side and pee carefully! problem solved.

I figured this out at a young age. 

See, you're a bright one. I didn't figure this trick out by myself--my older sister taught me.

[AussieKrissy]

2 hours ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

See, you're a bright one. I didn't figure this trick out by myself--my older sister taught me.

I remember having to teach my young niece (5-8 maybe) this trick and I could see the spark of joy in her eyes at the realization of how much easier life would be now lol. I also remember thinking how did she not know this already? No one ever taught me and I had/have been doing it for as long as I remember. I suppose I assumed it was just something everyone did. 

My three year old can do it like a pro now.

The other day she popped out of the pool (she was the youngest child in the pool and the only who got out of the water to go in the hours they were in there lol) Did her wee on the grass lol and then went on to say "now i poo" Oppsss Mummy forgot to explain the logistics of that one. Made dash to the toilet and a brief explanation that weeing on the grass is 'passable' but pooing is not. Bit harder to explain as she had just watched the dog poop on the grass. 

[Nargus]

On 2/22/2019 at 9:36 PM, fluffernutter said:

I nursed two of my three kids into their second year. A bonus- it might be contributing to her having a bigger gap between pregnancies. Although I think he would need to be nursing a lot for that to be likely... I think a lot of women get their cycles back when kids sleep through the night and eat solids.

 

Yup, I got my first postpartum period exactly 4 weeks after starting my daughter on solids. 

[Melinda]

Derick answered the question about his midline. I think the midline looks as bad as 4 years ago...

[Karma]

Seems possible that his surgeon was a graduate of the SOTDRT to mess it up that badly.  

[Snarkasarus Rex]

The surgery he had was no joke, but I really think it didn't go well and he had little competent follow up once they went to Danger America.  He had already quit Wal-mart, so who knows if he had COBRA, was a cash patient, or had access to another insurance plan.  In any case, he probably went to a Boob acquaintance for the surgery, and the so-called medical professionals in their circle don't have a great track record.

I suspect he was in a lot of pain in the months following...he just looked so unhealthy for a long time.   

[Imaginary_Wonderland]

I always thought he had the surgery to fix his midline, not that a surgery was for something else and that wrecked his midline. 

Does anyone familiar with dental surgery or braces know if the braces are to correct the mistake made to his midline or just needed anyway because of the surgery. Did they ever say what the surgery was for? Was it to do with his exercise induced vomiting thing?

I remember reading a lot of discussion about it here when he originally had it done but I can't remember what was actual facts and what was just theories and speculation. 

[HarleyQuinn]

I think his mouth is just trying to escape his face. 

[JillyO]

That's interesting, and a more gracious response to a fairly rude/intrusive question than I would have given.

Here's a picture where you can see his pre-surgery jaw pretty well:

You can see that his midline was pretty much centered before he had the surgery. I don't think he's ever confirmed what the purpose of the surgery was, but it looks like they tried to widen his upper jaw. It's very narrow in the old picture and much less so now.

I'll agree with @Snarkasarus Rex that he probably didn't have the best follow-up care since they moved to Danger America immediately after the surgery, but at that point the damage was already done. You can see it in images from right after he procedure.

The way they accidentally moved his midline seems like a royal screwup to me.

 

[Glasgowghirl]

Some asshole commented on Jill's picture telling her that she has wrinkles and she needs to drink more water and stop raising her eyebrows and moisturise. The person tried to claim that they were being constructive as they love skin care. I told them that while that they may not have meant to offend anyone that it could cause people to be insecure.

[Chewing Gum]

Nvm, wrong quote.

[HereticHick]

32 minutes ago, Glasgowghirl said:

Some asshole commented on Jill's picture telling her that she has wrinkles and she needs to drink more water and stop raising her eyebrows and moisturise. 

I will stop raising my eyebrows when reality stops serving up bullshit like this that causes me to raise my eyebrows. : )

PS Note that the eyebrows of my avatar, Pogo, are extremely, permanently, raised. #possumsarebeautifuljustthewaytheyare

[Glasgowghirl]

24 minutes ago, HereticHick said:

I will stop raising my eyebrows when reality stops serving up bullshit like this that causes me to raise my eyebrows. : )

PS Note that the eyebrows of my avatar, Pogo, are extremely, permanently, raised. #possumsarebeautifuljustthewaytheyare

Exactly, I'm just happy to see her smiling, at one point both her and Derick looked miserable all the time. She is her 20s and has two young children and had difficult births, she looks great.