Dillards 73: A Bitter Dill

[freshlemonade]

Spoiler

Definitely try it!

Thought this appropriate for today 

[StraightOuttaArkansas]

I think this cake discussion is so funny because I am catching up over at the rods and at exactly the part back in May where JRod got that awful cake for Timothy's graduation. Thank you for all the nommy cake pics because over there makes me sad (except the icing, I will eat alllllllll the icing).
 

[SorenaJ]

On 2/14/2019 at 9:32 PM, farmerannie said:

I 100% agree my 18 year old daughter will still jump on my lap from time to time, because she is my baby and she loves me which I am very happy about.

Heck I'm in my mid-twenties and I still sit on my mother's lap from time to time. A 9 year old sitting on their mother's lap is definitely not weird. 

[nastyhobbitses]

10 minutes ago, SorenaJ said:

Heck I'm in my mid-twenties and I still sit on my mother's lap from time to time. A 9 year old sitting on their mother's lap is definitely not weird. 

I think it is weird when we've seen said mother seem to barely remember her other children's names and is on televisual record as pawning her six-month-olds off to her preteen and teenaged daughters (whom she pimped out to reality television after allowing her other Golden Child to sexually assault them repeatedly with little to no true consequence). 

I will never regard any of Michelle's behavior as normal or OK. 

[singsingsing]

I'm not saying Michelle is the best mother in the world, but I can understand why she would baby Josie a bit, maybe keep her closer than the other girls. Michelle's other babies were all seemingly full term, healthy, and robust. Josie was a medically fragile micro premie who continued to have health scares throughout her infancy, and she's also the baby of the family. The fact that Michelle seems to dote on her more may not be ideal, but it honestly doesn't seem abnormal to me.

[Casserole]

While I was a full term baby, both my mother and I came very close to our deaths in the delivery (actually, they told her I was stillborn.) She and my dad always wanted more children but after that scare, they decided I was it. 

As a result of being the last baby when more babies would have been wanted and being somewhat of a miracle, I was doted on, much like Josie. My sister didn't mind, but it ended up causing a bit of a rift between my parents because my mom never let me go and would sleep with me instead of my dad, etc. We all turned out fine, but I see where Michelle comes from on this one. Josie's arrival into the world was scary and while Michelle would have loved more babies she had to come to terms with Josie being the last one and thus cherished her milestones a little more. 

Michelle sucks for so many reasons, especially having more children than you could ever adequately meet the attention demands and needs of... but a little extra attention to her youngest with some medical issues? I give her a pass (while also still wanting to swoop in and give Jordyn a hug because she got the shortest straw of them all.) 

[nastyhobbitses]

5 minutes ago, Casserole said:

While I was a full term baby, both my mother and I came very close to our deaths in the delivery (actually, they told her I was stillborn.) She and my dad always wanted more children but after that scare, they decided I was it. 

As a result of being the last baby when more babies would have been wanted and being somewhat of a miracle, I was doted on, much like Josie. My sister didn't mind, but it ended up causing a bit of a rift between my parents because my mom never let me go and would sleep with me instead of my dad, etc. We all turned out fine, but I see where Michelle comes from on this one. Josie's arrival into the world was scary and while Michelle would have loved more babies she had to come to terms with Josie being the last one and thus cherished her milestones a little more. 

Michelle sucks for so many reasons, especially having more children than you could ever adequately meet the attention demands and needs of... but a little extra attention to her youngest with some medical issues? I give her a pass (while also still wanting to swoop in and give Jordyn a hug because she got the shortest straw of them all.) 

Sorry, I'm still not giving Michelle a pass. She physically abused and facilitated the sexual abuse of her children, and decided they weren't worth her time or attention unless they could be a source of income, attention, or labor (as surrogate mothers for her subsequent attention trophies) for her. Her blatant favoritism of Josie in that context strikes me as rubbing it in her other daughters' faces that they never received and will never receive that love and affection. And let's not forget that from her BIRTH, Josie was a moneymaking prop for Michelle and JB. She had cameras shoved in her face as she struggled to breathe, as she shat her pants, as she had seizures, all to make more money for her selfish, narcissistic, abusive parents. She was paraded onto podiums from infancy to help her parents spread anti-choice propaganda, because they're just so magnanimous for not letting her die. While it's not concrete, it seems as though Josie is infantilized far beyond normal youngest-child babying and even beyond the context of possible developmental delays. To me, this is just another way to control her. 

This is not babying your youngest a little bit because you feel sad that you can't have more kids. This is a narcissistic shell of a woman realizing that she has yet another child she can control and use. 

[Casserole]

4 minutes ago, nastyhobbitses said:

Sorry, I'm still not giving Michelle a pass. She physically abused and facilitated the sexual abuse of her children, and decided they weren't worth her time or attention unless they could be a source of income, attention, or labor (as surrogate mothers for her subsequent attention trophies) for her. Her blatant favoritism of Josie in that context strikes me as rubbing it in her other daughters' faces that they never received and will never receive that love and affection. And let's not forget that from her BIRTH, Josie was a moneymaking prop for Michelle and JB. She had cameras shoved in her face as she struggled to breathe, as she shat her pants, as she had seizures, all to make more money for her selfish, narcissistic, abusive parents. She was paraded onto podiums from infancy to help her parents spread anti-choice propaganda, because they're just so magnanimous for not letting her die. While it's not concrete, it seems as though Josie is infantilized far beyond normal youngest-child babying and even beyond the context of possible developmental delays. To me, this is just another way to control her. 

This is not babying your youngest a little bit because you feel sad that you can't have more kids. This is a narcissistic shell of a woman realizing that she has yet another child she can control and use. 

Woah. Hold the phone. I am not giving her a pass on covering up sexual abuse of her children. She is a shit parent who has done irreparable damage to the psyche of all of her children. Favoring Josie is just the least of my worries. I'm cool with agreeing to disagree, but please don't associate my not being bothered by one thing as being unbothered with the physical, emotional, mental, and sexual abuse she perpetuated onto her children. 

[Four is Enough]

You all misunderstand me. I felt Michelle was HOLDING Josie, as one would RESTRAIN an unruly child, not babying her or showing her favoritism. I was wondering if that was really necessary.

[Bobology]

34 minutes ago, Four is Enough said:

You all misunderstand me. I felt Michelle was HOLDING Josie, as one would RESTRAIN an unruly child, not babying her or showing her favoritism. I was wondering if that was really necessary.

I have thought this is part of it, the same way Gil often restrained Jeb (their youngest and wildest, from what they've implied.) When there are photos and videos involved I believe the parents want to keep misbehavior to a minimum and that's why there is the holding, or mild restraint if that is what it is.

[MarbleRainbow]

On 2/13/2019 at 1:10 PM, AtlanticTug said:

It would be really rich for JB to be any sort of a reason for a rift given that the asshole is the SOLE REASON that Jill is married to Derick.

Jill and Derick didn't know each other in social circles like some of the others (Joy/Austin for example), they didn't meet in any sort of organic way - Derick contacted JB and they basically arranged for Jill to meet him. He is the only boy/man she had ever been allowed to even consider as a potential mate. A sheltered, maybe not too bright, eager to please young woman whose father allegedly vetted her future husband and approved of him and set her up with him.

I was REALLY into purity culture as a teen and college student - I read all Joshua Harris' books and pretty much tried to do everything I Kissed Dating Goodbye said. I would have been pretty on board with my parents essentially choosing a husband for me at the time, I'm afraid to admit. My relationship with my ex-boyfriend in college was long distance (met him online through Xanga - yes, I feel old), but my dad happened to go out on a business trip to ex's state right after we started talking more seriously about a relationship. So my dad met him before I did, and grilled him for like 2 hours, and then essentially said he approved. It was NOT a healthy relationship, but thankfully neither my parents or I were as fundie as the Duggars, so there was no pressure to marry quickly. I wasn't going to get married until after I graduated college anyways, and thankfully before then I realized what a controlling, deceptive piece of shit my ex was and broke up with him and broke off all communication  (he cheated on me three times, and then tried to make it my fault. Also tried to get me to take him back by saying he was like Peter denying Christ 3 times. Yeah, that made no sense to me either.)

Anyways, all that to say, I had the time to figure out who my ex really was - I can only imagine the shitshow of marrying him within a year of meeting him, and not having a chance to see his true colors until it was too late. But man, I understand that mindset of thinking you HAVE to defer to your parents on everything and that you're not being "God honoring" if you don't. 

[nastyhobbitses]

13 hours ago, Casserole said:

Woah. Hold the phone. I am not giving her a pass on covering up sexual abuse of her children. She is a shit parent who has done irreparable damage to the psyche of all of her children. Favoring Josie is just the least of my worries. I'm cool with agreeing to disagree, but please don't associate my not being bothered by one thing as being unbothered with the physical, emotional, mental, and sexual abuse she perpetuated onto her children. 

Oh, no, I don't think for a second that you were saying "oh, look at Michelle being affectionate with Josie, this totally cancels out all the sexual abuse!" My point was more that I don't think her affection is genuine or without a deep level of control and manipulation, given everything else she's done to her other children. 

[TatiFish9]

The topic about Michelle is weird. I too think the elevator does not go all the way up at times. I go back and forth about who made the decision to cover for Josh and who wanted to disown him after scandal vs who made the decision to bring him back into the fold. However, I do think it is interesting that all her adult kids speak favorably of her in an adoring and genuine way. That doesn't seem to add up to what we think she is to her kids.

[LilMissMetaphor]

All I noticed about that pic was the hair.  So.  Much.  Hair.

[HarleyQuinn]

I saw a screenshot of their snowman video where they have plastic tied around Israel's hands because he has no gloves. Wreck has gloves. How hard it is it to put gloves on your kid, or if you lost them just give them yours? Plastic isn't a good fix.

[acheronbeach]

1 hour ago, HarleyQuinn said:

I saw a screenshot of their snowman video where they have plastic tied around Israel's hands because he has no gloves. Wreck has gloves. How hard it is it to put gloves on your kid, or if you lost them just give them yours? Plastic isn't a good fix.

He also has no snowpants and is wearing jeans.  And you notice that Derick is fully kitted out - snowpants, coat, boots, hat.  

Jill's video skills are, as usual, a fail.  She records through a frosted/fogged window.  Derick uses the snow as an opportunity to pontificate - can't pass up a chance to tell other people how to make snowballs, snowmen, or snow angels.  You can't really hear Israel or Derick, but neither of them really seem to be having much fun.  

 

[DigDugger]

I notice that the Dillards aren't on the show anymore.  Was Derrick fired after his bigoted remarks about another TLC personality (Jazz)?  Or did he leave on his own before that incident?  I can't remember the sequence. 

What kind of work is he doing now to financially support his kids?

[acheronbeach]

5 minutes ago, DigDugger said:

I notice that the Dillards aren't on the show anymore.  Was Derrick fired after his bigoted remarks about another TLC personality (Jazz)?  Or did he leave on his own before that incident?  I can't remember the sequence. 

What kind of work is he doing now to financially support his kids?

This has been the subject of 73 Dillard related threads on Free Jinger.  

 

Short answer - we don't exactly know, he left after he decided to attack that poor child online, and Derick is not a "job type of person" (to quote XGG).  

[DigDugger]

3 minutes ago, acheronbeach said:

This has been the subject of 73 Dillard related threads on Free Jinger.  

 

Short answer - we don't exactly know, he left after he decided to attack that poor child online, and Derick is not a "job type of person" (to quote XGG).  

Thank you.  I just saw on another thread that he's now studying law at a university.  That's an expensive endeavor.  I assume that he had a two-year degree in accounting before?  With transfer credit, he'd probably still need to complete three years' worth of courses.  If he's going to be a practicing lawyer, I believe that's going to require a post-graduate degree too.  Sounds expensive.  It's not unheard of for one spouse to go back to school while the other spouse brings in money.  But in this case, neither spouse is working.  Maybe they're living off their TLC savings. 

Also, for him to be pursuing a Bachelor's degree, I'm assuming that he had the benefit of attending an accredited (if not public) school when he was a child.  It would be nice if he'd extend the same benefit to his own kids.  

[singsingsing]

1 minute ago, DigDugger said:

Thank you.  I just saw on another thread that he's now studying law at a university.  That's an expensive endeavor.  I assume that he had a two-year degree in accounting before?  With transfer credit, he'd probably still need to complete three years' worth of courses.  If he's going to be a practicing lawyer, I believe that's going to require a post-graduate degree too.  Sounds expensive.  It's not unheard of for one spouse to go back to school while the other spouse brings in money.  But in this case, neither spouse is working.  Maybe they're living off their TLC savings. 

Also, for him to be pursuing a Bachelor's degree, I'm assuming that he had the benefit of attending an accredited (if not public) school when he was a child.  It would be nice if he'd extend the same benefit to his own kids.  

He has a bachelor's degree - that's his accounting degree. Now he's in law school. He won't need any extra degrees, he just needs to graduate law school and pass the bar.

No one seems to know if he's working or not. Jill isn't working either. No one really knows where their money is coming from or what they're living on. They haven't been on the show for a while now, and according to Derick even when they were on the show they weren't getting paid. Who knows if that's true or not - Derick has a complicated relationship with the truth.

[acheronbeach]

7 minutes ago, DigDugger said:

Thank you.  I just saw on another thread that he's now studying law at a university.  That's an expensive endeavor.  I assume that he had a two-year degree in accounting before?  With transfer credit, he'd probably still need to complete three years' worth of courses.  If he's going to be a practicing lawyer, I believe that's going to require a post-graduate degree too.  Sounds expensive.  It's not unheard of for one spouse to go back to school while the other spouse brings in money.  But in this case, neither spouse is working.  Maybe they're living off their TLC savings. 

Also, for him to be pursuing a Bachelor's degree, I'm assuming that he had the benefit of attending an accredited (if not public) school when he was a child.  It would be nice if he'd extend the same benefit to his own kids.  

He's at law school.  There's no transfer credit from accounting to law school.  That's a postgraduate degree - in the US, it's a Juris Doctor.  You don't need another degree after that to practice law, for most states you just need to pass the bar exams.  

The job market for lawyers in the US for non Ivy League graduates is awful, though.  

 

 

ETA: I see @singsingsing already was on it...

[mpheels]

This is based on my experience growing up in the south... I did not have snow pants or waterproof gloves as a kid. I got a set of waterproof ski clothes as a teenager, but before that had little/no need. For the rare snow storm with enough accumulation to actually play in the snow, my mom put ziploc bags on my feet (over socks/under shoes) and on my hands (over gloves) so I could play and keep my digits dry. My guess is  that Derrick has snow gear from past (TLC funded?) ski trips, and they haven’t invested in snow gear for Isreal yet because he isn’t skiing and it isn’t a worth buying every year for one snow storm per year.

[acheronbeach]

22 minutes ago, mpheels said:

This is based on my experience growing up in the south... I did not have snow pants or waterproof gloves as a kid. I got a set of waterproof ski clothes as a teenager, but before that had little/no need. For the rare snow storm with enough accumulation to actually play in the snow, my mom put ziploc bags on my feet (over socks/under shoes) and on my hands (over gloves) so I could play and keep my digits dry. My guess is  that Derrick has snow gear from past (TLC funded?) ski trips, and they haven’t invested in snow gear for Isreal yet because he isn’t skiing and it isn’t a worth buying every year for one snow storm per year.

You're probably right, but given Jill's history of being unprepared for the weather, it seems really dumb to post a video with plastic bags taped to her kid's hands while her self-absorbed husband is dressed to the nines in toasty clothing.  Especially since Israel didn't really seem to be enjoying himself much. 

If she wasn't dim as hell, she would've just snapped a pic of the finished snowman with Israel.  

[Bad Wolf]

I think Israel has gloves on under the baggies. I could be wrong.

[HarleyQuinn]

This is a pet peeve of mine, it's not hard to dress your kids for cold weather. Even if you don't get a lot of snow - why are your kids playing in freezing temperatures while they're not properly dressed? Surely you've learned about frostbite? Snow isn't rare in Arkansas, they should have this stuff on hand.

Especially when Wreck is dressed properly, give your gloves to your child, it doesn't matter if they're too big. They're better than plastic bags.