The Staddons: Doing Things a Little Bit Differently

[PianoGal]

On 8/25/2019 at 1:35 PM, LurkerOverThePond said:

Esther Staddon is such a beautiful woman I'm quite surprised she hasn't found her Prince Charming yet. She works - or at least used to - at the IBLP hq where there's a good chance to meet other young ATI people.

I met Esther, years ago, when we were in our early 20's. In fact, we had a rivalry over the same guy. (I'm not even sure why, since this particular guy was no where NEAR being fundie.) Her personality is just as grating as her voice. Syrupy-sweet on top, but there were plenty of barbs underneath. That could have been because of the competition over the guy, but it was there. Thankfully, once the Staddons figured out that my family was not their stripe, the acquaintance went no further. 

I'll never forget the comment she made, when she found out how many sisters I have. "Oh! You must have cakes and cookies and casseroles all over the place!" Uh, no... we do not spend our lives in the kitchen. 

[Dandruff]

2 hours ago, PianoGal said:

I met Esther, years ago, when we were in our early 20's. In fact, we had a rivalry over the same guy. (I'm not even sure why, since this particular guy was no where NEAR being fundie.)

She had a thing for a non-fundie guy?  Sounds scandalous.

[ophelia]

14 hours ago, petrushka said:

That is assuming they can move from no touch to full intercourse fairly quickly.  I know Elizabeth had her sheep and cows bred so you'd think she knows how it's done with humans but with fundies you never can tell.  Perhaps her mother clued her in the night before the wedding.  I just wonder how comfortable she can be with her own body given some of the essays she wrote for the family blog.  I will be looking forward to the arrival of their first blessing and just hope they keep some online presence.

Whenever fundie maiden like Elizabeth tie the knot after a no-touch-courtship I somewhere deep in my mind hope that they are ready AF to get the deed done and have a really passionate and comfortable wedding night. You know - still waters run and deep.

10 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

They bonded over bees. 

This HAS TO BE the next thread name or a post count title at least.

[Sops2]

My last comment on the wedding!

I do believe she had her T shirt on under her dress. I know it was God's special day and not hers, but I hope she had  feelings that made her feel desirable and loved as a woman.

[bal maiden]

This union is just pure fundie gold. Incredible. I miss the days when the Duggars and the Bates would let their frumper flags fly. All the modern modest Instagram gloss is so dull compared to this.

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 minute ago, bal maiden said:

This union is just pure fundie gold. Incredible. I miss the days when the Duggars and the Bates would let their frumper flags fly. All the modern modest Instagram gloss is so dull compared to this.

I totally agree. So many fundies have such a curated presence on social media. It’s so fake and boring. I yawn just thinking about it!

[sparrow]

I couldn’t agree more. It’s just not interesting anymore now that everybody is so mainstream and Pinterest-y. I miss the weird days of families like Lydia of Purple. ::wistful sigh::

[petrushka]

We can begin looking forward to the Sarah Frazer/Jeremie Rheaume nuptials!  I'm presuming the groom is Canadian. so there shouldn't be any obstacles to getting on with the wedding plans.  It's completely possible those two could be married by the end of this year--oh let it be so!

[NancyDrewFan1989]

On 8/27/2019 at 4:55 PM, Sops2 said:

Wedding rehearsal photo, posted by Elizabeth's brother Stephen.

And I think that definitely is the real veil!   A water bottle was used instead of a bouquet.

He says that they had 3 dry runs doing the wedding rehearsal, before getting pizza for everyone

*Photo reaction* 

First, what the heck are they wearing? Are they wearing beekeeper uniforms? 

Second, Donald looks a little frustrated in this photo. Like he is jealous that he is watching another brother get married and start his own family. Either way, I hope he finds happiness some how in the crazy world of fundieness.

[JermajestyDuggar]

I think Sarah and Jeremie might like beekeeping too. So it might be another themed wedding. 

Here’s a pic of all 4 beekeepers:

[SolomonFundy]

15 hours ago, Sops2 said:

I do believe she had her T shirt on under her dress. I know it was God's special day and not hers, but I hope she had  feelings that made her feel desirable and loved as a woman.

Agreed, and I love the way you expressed your thoughts. To me, Elizabeth looks absolutely radiant in every picture I've seen. I truly think she felt wonderful. and assuming she was responsible for designing her own wedding dress, it's pretty safe to say that she felt "fancy" and well turned out. I've been going back to these pics for days, and I keep coming to the inescapable conclusion that she is wearing something that made her feel confident, special, and surprisingly decadent.

There are SO many fussy details that were included on this dress that are absolutely 100% a matter of aesthetic preference, and most of them took more work and effort than common alternatives.

* The collar's rounded wings look like a heart, and they frame her neck and face in a very pretty way. It has tiny little pleated lace trim, and based on the way the pleats are laying, it appears to have been sewn between the two layers of the collar. That's very fiddly to do, and was almost certainly done by hand.

* The buttons are iridescent polished faux-mother of pearl, matched perfectly to the fabric, and shanked (smooth-front). These are technically simpler to attach than conventional buttons once you get them placed, but they are much more time-consuming to place. It's also kind of difficult to get them to "stand" at the same angle on the finished garment, especially if the garment isn't fitted or tailored. The button placket alone probably took a significant investment of time.

* The skirt has a deep tuck close to the hem. This is both a historic dressmaking detail, as well as a cool way to add volume and body to the movement of the skirt. It lends some architectural interest to an otherwise plain skirt, and is way more work than simply turning the hem. The entire dress is very "large" for her frame, but the skirt in particular is significantly fuller than anything she's worn before on the blog. It required yards and yards of extra material and time, and it must have been important to her.

* Those sleeves! They are about twice (or more) as full as the inspiration pattern indicates, and are beautifully gathered to a tiny little cuff that is alllmost fitted to her wrist. They seem to be intentionally cut with more material at the cuff, and the result is a very romantic and feminine sleeve that also emphasizes her slim waist by comparison. They probably swished and swirled around her as she moved her arms, and I think they are exactly what she dreamed they'd be.

* And of all of the textile extravagences, the veil is nearly as impressive as the skirt. It is also clearly the product of hours of work and planning. This is a woman who has worn a head-covering for at least a decade. She obviously didn't want anything truly sheer in order to preserve the sense of being covered, and yet she wanted a flowing veil. So, she handmade this out of 4 layers of slippery semi-sheer poly voile, making sure that a minimum of two layers were always overlapping her head at all times. Then, she hemmed the entire thing, and somehow attached it to a headband to anchor it. I suspect that this was conceived originally without the headband, but she had trouble getting the front and back panels to stay put without a rigid frame, and was forced to use it. However, I kind of hope that it's exactly what she planned from the beginning. It's flamboyant and extravagant, and is vastly different from anything she's ever owned or worn before. That alone would make her feel quite special.

 

The wedding is snark-worthy in a lot of ways, that's just facts, but it's also really refreshing. It's honest, personal to the interests of the couple, and truly represents their lives. I can't say that about any fundy (or for that matter non-fundy) wedding I've seen in a looooong time.

[nelliebelle1197]

@SolomonFundy that is a thoughtful, kind and insightful post. And I am now betting the reason for the engagement length was the crafting of her dress.

It still terrifies me but that is my own issue! 

I looked back at the pictures. Man, Donald looks miserable. I really do wish he could find a Mrs Donald. Of course, we don’t if he would prefer a Mr Donald but still, he makes me so sad.

[JermajestyDuggar]

Donald was best man right? His closest brother is probably Michael since they are closer in age. Maybe part of it is losing his best friend. 

[ifosterkittens]

@SolomonFundy thank you for your observant eye. I can't say I paid that much attention to the dress and veil, but from what you detailed she obviously spent a tremendous amount of time and effort on it. I hope she felt beautiful, and from the pictures she radiates joy. Elizabeth must be very talented to make such a piece. Chelsy (Bontrager) Maxwell also made her own wedding dress, and while it is easy for me to criticize certain aspects if I had a make my own wedding dress I would be walking down the aisle in a (extra) large pillow case with a hole for my arms and head. 

[Teaistheway]

@SolomonFundy  you have achieved the impossible and completely turned around the way I feel about Elizabeth's dress! Thank you for such an interesting and considered post.

[Zebedee]

@SolomonFundy thankyou for your explanation, I guess for the non-seamstress types here - very much true for me! - we'd definitely have to be close up to appreciate the work put into it. Regardless, it's the bride's prerogative to choose a dress that she loves and makes her feel special. I've been to many weddings where I hate the dress - but it suits the bride's personality and is her choice, so she's always looked great. None of the women whose weddings I have attended have come from such a limiting background, so their choices have often been 'limited' by the dominant culture they are surrounded by. With one exception: a woman I know who grew up in the DDR, though had lived in the UK for 20 years. Her dress was very influenced by that. Very few of the brides I have known have truly chosen a dress just based on personal taste. They do all have the freedom to choose whatever lifestyle and education etc they choose, however, so it is a rather different situation.

In any case, I feel faintly maternal to these two - I have to remind myself that they likely share the same hateful beliefs as all our other fundies. They just seem so childlike. I hope the wedding night was not too traumatic, and they are taking things slowly. I find it much easier, personally, to snark on the fundies who try and blend in with the normal world; I find myself giving too much of a free pass to the frumperific ones. Anyway, she looks happy, they actually have something other than Jesus and answering Daddy's questionnaire correctly in common. I don't expect they will see bee keeping as the crucial thing it is in maintaining life on earth, but at least they will (perhaps unwittingly) be helping the environment. 

I hope they are happy together, do some good environmentally, are not too fertile, educate any offspring decently at least, and, above all, are kind. And now I need to find something where either or both of them make some horrid comments about hell/the unsaved etc, to nudge me out of my unusual degree of goodwill and complacency. Just back from holidays at a couple of music festivals, I am feeling too forgiving and optimistic!

ETA: I stayed sober last night as I had to drive until three am. I have a few days more holiday, and am now drunk and tired, so apologies for any incoherency, and potential leg humping, lol.

Edited August 30, 2019 by Zebedee
drunk addition

[NancyDrewFan1989]

3 hours ago, HA88 said:

@SolomonFundy thank you for your observant eye. I can't say I paid that much attention to the dress and veil, but from what you detailed she obviously spent a tremendous amount of time and effort on it. I hope she felt beautiful, and from the pictures she radiates joy. Elizabeth must be very talented to make such a piece. Chelsy (Bontrager) Maxwell also made her own wedding dress, and while it is easy for me to criticize certain aspects if I had a make my own wedding dress I would be walking down the aisle in a (extra) large pillow case with a hole for my arms and head. 

The difference with Elizabeth's (Frazer) Staddon's wedding dress and Chelsy (Bontrager) Maxwell to me is Chelsy's seemed "more modern bridal" with the lace and sparkles, plus I liked her hair piece and happy. Elizabeth, to me, didn't look that happy in her Little House on the Prairie dress and bed sheet veil.

Edited August 30, 2019 by NancyDrewFan1989

[Sops2]

Bee keeping is not just a job for Michael 

"His view that beekeeping is a stewardship of God’s creation is the foundational principle for his day to day decisions in the business."

and of being a bee keeper-

"Character is possibly the most important consideration.
Good character only becomes more valuable as it becomes more scarce. Do not be a part of moral decline in society.

Character qualities are distinctive mental and moral qualities of an individual."

They both obviously look upon Honey Glen Apiaries as their mission in life.

I think that even though Elizabeth has moved away from her family, her farm and her country ,  she will  be very happy with her new life. Her eyes will be opened to new experiences with the Staddon family- and even though we think it a blinkered, sheltered life, her life is opening up in front of her.

Edited August 30, 2019 by Sops2
Repetition error

[NancyDrewFan1989]

7 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Donald was best man right? His closest brother is probably Michael since they are closer in age. Maybe part of it is losing his best friend. 

That is what I am thinking. Is Donald Jr. still living with his parents? If so, then he probably has to come to terms with being in his forties, unmarried, and having everyone who he grew up with enjoy parts of adulthood he doesn't get to. I mean, James and Jonathan have their own business and Esther lives or has lived away from home at IBLP headquarters. Donald Jr. has gone on mission trips, helped organize FEW Conferences, and IBLP conferences, only to return back to his parents house to write about Christian politics and not-so-accurate American history on the blog. He hasn't posted in a while, but most of the history and politics post Donald did write. Do we even know what Donald Jr. does for work?

[Black Aliss]

3 hours ago, Zebedee said:

In any case, I feel faintly maternal to these two - I have to remind myself that they likely share the same hateful beliefs as all our other fundies. They just seem so childlike. I hope the wedding night was not too traumatic, and they are taking things slowly. 
 

I agree that they appear very child-like. At first I was all WTF about the dress, because it looked like what a little girl might put together for dress-up play from thrift store items. After reading a description of the work that went into it, it's really quite sweet and I'm delighted that she apparently made exactly the dress she wanted to wear. I also take heart that they left their wedding dressed in brother-sister outfits. Perhaps they just enjoyed each other's company on their wedding night, holding hands without the protection of beekeepers' gloves and all. Plenty of time for sweet fellowship later.

[raspberrymint]

I'm a woman over a decade younger than Donald and I can see myself being interested in him if we were in the same circles and held the same beliefs.  He seems like the vague idea of "my type", which is a niche type, but I and others like me do exist.  I think part of it is sympathy/empathy for the oldest sibling and a liking for the nerdy look.

I do wonder why he's single at 40 if he doesn't want to be.  From a fundie light experience growing up, I think there are plenty of parents who will try to keep their kids from parenthood if they think there's something wrong with their kids (physically, emotionally, spiritually, whatever) and don't consider that hypocritical because God's army has to be perfect or something.  This often goes extra if the imperfect child is the oldest or near oldest with a lot of family responsibilities.

I'm not theorizing on these guys specifically or pointing fingers in any way, though.  I don't know enough about them.  Lots of crap can go on behind cute closed doors is what I know.

Edited August 30, 2019 by raspberrymint
Forgot a word

[Mari2]

It's high time for Kathryn Staddon to choose a new hair style.  She's gorgeous and is blessed with beautiful hair.  But that poof thing and the side swept overly sprayed bang thing isn't doing her any favors.  If one looks at the side view in the photos, one sees a hot mess.  Looks like she has something resting on her head.

[JermajestyDuggar]

30 minutes ago, Mari2 said:

It's high time for Kathryn Staddon to choose a new hair style.  She's gorgeous and is blessed with beautiful hair.  But that poof thing and the side swept overly sprayed bang thing isn't doing her any favors.  If one looks at the side view in the photos, one sees a hot mess.  Looks like she has something resting on her head.

Her hair is stunning. I would love to have her hair. I’m sad her little ones don’t seem to be red heads. My red headed cousin has 4 children and none have red hair. But we were all very pleased when his sister is ended up with a red head. 

[NancyDrewFan1989]

2 hours ago, raspberrymint said:

I do wonder why he's single at 40 if he doesn't want to be.  

The Staddon men seem to have a tough time finding a bride, even if they are stable. In Daniel and Kathryn's messed up crazy love story Kathryn admitted to calling off the courtship before her dad stepped in. Robert seemed to have problems with pursuing Kendalyn's heart. Donald Jr. may have encountered the same issues as Daniel and Robert. However, unlike his younger siblings it didn't work out.

[raspberrymint]

If it's something collective between brothers, I wonder what the more precise "it" is.  Probably multiple circumstances.