Lori Alexander 61: Harridan MIL

[Free Jana Duggar]

That's what I was thinking as well. A SAHM with eleventy kids works her a$$ off for that internet, food and car etc.

[Alisamer]

10 minutes ago, ViolaSebastian said:

I have never, and I mean never, heard someone say that a SAHM is wasting her life.

I haven't, either. I'd say many stay-at-home-daughters are wasting their lives (see: Sarah Maxwell). I might even say Lori, now that her kids are all grown, is wasting her life. With her wealth and free time there's so much GOOD she could be doing, but no - it's putting people down on the internet and passive-aggressively insulting her daughters and daughters-in-law. But a SAHM? That's a choice, or should be. Once you have a certain number of children, you have to weigh daycare costs against income, and it might be more economical for the lower-earning parent to stay home. Or, it might NOT.

Most SAHMs are raising their kids and "keeping the home". They're effectively doing the job of both a nanny and a housekeeper, and usually a million other things like bookkeeping as well. 

Except Lori, who napped every day and lounged on the sofa while Ken paid the nanny and housekeeper to do the jobs most SAHMs do. 

Man, Ken got the worst deal EVER. He was exchanging money and property for Lori to stay home, and then ALSO paying someone else to do the jobs he likely expected HER to do! And with the "10 minutes and lube" Lori tells everyone about, she's even falling down on the prostitution part of the job. Ken would literally have been better off to kick Lori out, keep the housekeeper and nanny, and pay for sex when he wanted it. Lori doesn't seem like much of a companion, and she says their marriage was pretty terrible until she decided to "submit". 

Lori, you were, and are, a freeloading leech. Luckily Ken is awful enough to deserve you, and apparently too invested to see he could do better.

[SongRed7]

18 minutes ago, Alisamer said:

I might even say Lori, now that her kids are all grown, is wasting her life. With her wealth and free time there's so much GOOD she could be doing, but no - it's putting people down on the internet and passive-aggressively insulting her daughters and daughters-in-law. But a SAHM? That's a choice, or should be. Once you have a certain number of children, you have to weigh daycare costs against income, and it might be more economical for the lower-earning parent to stay home. Or, it might NOT.

 I agree. Watching all the dialogue on her page just makes me furious.   People makes the choices they make based on their circumstances, period.   Whether or not they made bad choices in the past or not.   I can't walk in anyone's shoes but my own. I know the reasons i work and I don't have to get Lori or anyone's approval.   I know I'm doing what I need to do...as are most women.    They all just need to shut up.   Working or not working for whatever reasons (not my business) doesn't make one more Godly or less Godly.    My work history is not tied to my salvation. Simple as that. 

 

And I fully agree.  Lori -- to whom much has been given -- is squandering her life.  I don't think fighting with strangers on the internet counts. But that's just me. 

"For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required," reads Luke 12:48

 

[EowynW]

Wouldn't this be family be getting government  assistance? How on earth can you even love off of $22K without it? Mr. EW brought home $34K last year and it was hella hard and we are careful! 

[EowynW]

I also fucking HATE Lori's hate about "the what ifs". My mom is the same damn way. "Oh don't worry about thebwhat ifs, those are rare and you need to stop living in fear." 

I was thinking this morning about how fundie girls are raised. It only works if you marry a pretty financially stable guy. My sister married one, a public schooled fundie lite guy who was raised much more modern, and she's okay. My brother is set up okay too. Because a) penis in my family = more life preparedness and b) the parents of the girl he married made him level up, and get into firmly into solid career before they married so their girl would be well taken care of. 

 

[delphinium65]

5 minutes ago, EowynW said:

I also fucking HATE Lori's hate about "the what ifs". My mom is the same damn way. "Oh don't worry about thebwhat ifs, those are rare and you need to stop living in fear." 

Me too.  Those 'what ifs' are certainly not rare, and I'd venture to say given the precarious financial status already occupied by a lot of fundies that they are more likely than not to experience one, if only temporarily.  Husband dies before wife? 'What if.' Husband injured or otherwise unable to work? 'What if.'  Husband bails on the family for whatever reason? 'What if.'  I can recall a number of fundie families in which the wife had to work for one of those 'what ifs' (including myself), it was hardly a rare thing.  

[Briefly]

4 hours ago, louisa05 said:

Today's blog post made me just want to tell her to fuck off. 

None of that is free. Ken works to pay for it. And if he didn't have a high income, things would be different for her. 

 I don't think that I am getting a free house just because Mr. 05 writes the mortgage check from his account and he doesn't think he is getting free cable and internet because I write that check from my account. Because everything is ours together. 

But this is a marriage not a trade off of sex and minding the housekeeper housework for someone paying the bills. 

I guess I better tell Mr. Briefly that he is getting a free house because the mortgage is in my name only.  Not the deed, just the mortgage because when we refinanced the bank said our business had not been established long enough and that my income was enough. So it's just my name on the mortgage, because otherwise we would have had to get tax returns and a lot of information that we didn't think was really needed.

No, Lori.  I don't work just because I want to be a man!  I work because we like to eat and have a roof over our heads.  Like most people.  And even if someone, male or female, works because they want to - that does not make them wrong.  It is their choice for their life and family.  Not Lori's.

She goes back to the same argument often.  She must have a calendar with daily/weekly/monthly topics.  Or maybe she has a chart on the wall and throws darts at it.  She is tedious and such an idiot.  And she will probably never change.

[EowynW]

10 minutes ago, delphinium65 said:

Me too.  Those 'what ifs' are certainly not rare, and I'd venture to say given the precarious financial status already occupied by a lot of fundies that they are more likely than not to experience one, if only temporarily.  Husband dies before wife? 'What if.' Husband injured or otherwise unable to work? 'What if.'  Husband bails on the family for whatever reason? 'What if.'  I can recall a number of fundie families in which the wife had to work for one of those 'what ifs' (including myself), it was hardly a rare thing.  

Yep. I married someone that was raised just like me. We left fundiedom when we got married. 2 1/2 years ago.  We are starting at the bottom. A 'what if' is a very real fear that lurks in the shadows for both of us. Atleast we are aware of reality and are scrambling to climb up, unlike a lot of our peers still stuck in that system. 

[klein_roeschen]

Why should I need someone to take care of me? I can do that pretty fine on my own. I like working and the paychecks it's given me. That way I can afford my share of the rent and utilities, my car and a lot of nice little things that may not be necessary, but make my life more enjoyable. Like the hot, crispy pizza next to me for dinner bought on my way home from work. I know how it is to barely scrapping by, I grew up that way and had my meager times in the past between jobs. So no way I would do that with full intention again, to much stress and worry.

@TeddyBonkers than a welcome to Germany in advance. A little advice for apartment/ house hunting here. Living spaces are much smaller here and with more than 3 bedrooms are rare to find and pretty expansive given the part where you will live. And the room count in apartment/ house offers includes the living room, so a 3 room apartment means 2 bedrooms and 1 livingroom. And we don't have build- in closets. That something I would really, really like to have. You can hide so much in it.

[AuntKrazy]

Being a female and working because one wants to is not a sin.  Working because bills need to be paid is not a sin.  Enrolling children in public, or private school is not a sin.  Homeschooling is not inherently righteous.  Giving birth is not inherently righteous.  Spending time outside the home does NOT mean the home, children, or husband are necessarily neglected.  Staying home does not mean the family is necessarily well cared for.

My marriage is NOT an economic barter system; and Christian orthodoxy argues that the Bible definitely indicates that there is a more important job than parenting:  it is that of glorifying God and enjoying Him forever.  For some, the path to love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self control does not involve having children.  Bearing children does not make a woman more or less spiritual.  There is nothing in any Christian creed about being a parent.  Nothing in the Lord's prayer.  The Ten Commandments only tell people how to be better children.  This is probably because the universal experience is NOT being a parent, but that of being a child.

Moreover, how you talk about marriage makes me believe that you, Lori, know nothing of Christ's unconditional love.

There is no ranking in the Kingdom of God, no competition for God's affection and favor - only enduring grace for all and a love that sees all and loves anyway.  It is God's job to carry the work He has begun to perfection; and you constantly try to get in the way of that to impose your own interpretation of Scripture on others instead.  No one appointed Lori Alexander to do the job of the Holy Spirit.  If you don't like the job God is doing with His followers, please take it up with Him instead.

 

 

[Frog99]

1 hour ago, EowynW said:

Wouldn't this be family be getting government  assistance? How on earth can you even love off of $22K without it? Mr. EW brought home $34K last year and it was hella hard and we are careful! 

I just went to peek- looks like they have 2 kids. They would be eligible for roughly $640 per month in food stamps but not TANF- Texas has the max income set insanely low as far as I could tell (and when I googled, there were links to articles about how they have decreased TANF with no actual decrease in poverty. I’m guessing they are eligible for earned income as well. $22k per year is roughly $1800/month. In my area, it is almost impossible to find housing for much less than $1000/month- even subsidized. I’d love to know her definition of plenty. 

1 hour ago, EowynW said:

I also fucking HATE Lori's hate about "the what ifs". My mom is the same damn way. "Oh don't worry about thebwhat ifs, those are rare and you need to stop living in fear." 

I am 44 years old, with a master’s degree (no student loans) in a field with plentiful opportunities. I make good money. I am married to a man who owns a business and has a job as a firefighter/paramedic- skilled and in demand. I come from a comfortably middle class upbringing- we weren’t food or housing insecure, and while I certainly didn’t have everything I wanted, I had everything I needed.

And yet, I do sometimes worry. Life is uncertain and fragile and I have seen people experience the unexpected. I don’t live in fear- and I don’t believe that awareness of how quickly life changes is living in fear. It’s called being aware and prepared, abs recognizing that God has given us gifts and talents for a reason, and that we are to be good stewards of all things- not just money. 

[TeddyBonkers]

@klein_roeschen, it isn't official yet, but Germany is what I am hoping for! (watch, it will be something ridiculous like Fort Polk or Fort Irwin.)

Lori can talk all she wants about how we shouldn't worry about the "what ifs", meanwhile there are 800,000 people not getting a paycheck because someone had a temper tantrum. No Coast Guard family expected their pay to get withheld, it has never happened before. I called to check up on my friend from out of state and their savings are almost gone already. (She's getting a commissary gift card in the mail as a surprise.) Thankfully, here in VA there is a bigger Coast Guard presence and people are really coming together-barbershops are giving free haircuts, restaurants are offering free food, etc.

From the outside looking in, it appears that Mr. Bonkers and I have a very traditional marriage. He works, I keep house. But it's because he is good at his job and I am good at keeping house (for the most part). We play to our strengths. To say that I have free rent, internet, food because Mr. Bonkers deigns to give me those things is offensive and smacks of a master/servant or john/prostitute relationship rather than a loving partnership. It completely ignores the very real work that I do for Mr. Bonkers.

~I make his breakfast and lunch for him to take to work every day.

~I do his laundry, fold it, and put it away.

~His house is clean when he comes home from a 14+ hour work day.

~I make a homemade supper every night.

~I do the grocery shopping, pay the bills, take care of car maintenance, do gift shopping, maintain the budget, take kids to doctor visits or dentist visits, and deal with minor house maintenance.

~Every 2 years, I watch all of our household goods get packed into crates, we move, and I unpack them myself in a strange place where I don't know anyone. Once there, I take care of the kids' school enrollments, finding a NEW doctor, a NEW dentist, a NEW vet.

But sure, I get free rent, internet, and food.

 

[veloma]

Just wanted to chime in that some women literally were not able to stay home in those good ole days Lori is always yapping about.

 

[SongRed7]

Sensitive stomach warning:  New sauerkraut/ cat food looking salad post on IG... 

[lilwriter85]

3 hours ago, EowynW said:

Wouldn't this be family be getting government  assistance? How on earth can you even love off of $22K without it? Mr. EW brought home $34K last year and it was hella hard and we are careful! 

 

 

1 hour ago, Frog99 said:

I just went to peek- looks like they have 2 kids. They would be eligible for roughly $640 per month in food stamps but not TANF- Texas has the max income set insanely low as far as I could tell (and when I googled, there were links to articles about how they have decreased TANF with no actual decrease in poverty. I’m guessing they are eligible for earned income as well. $22k per year is roughly $1800/month. In my area, it is almost impossible to find housing for much less than $1000/month- even subsidized. I’d love to know her definition of plenty. 

 

If they are getting any form of government assistance she  isn't going to admit especially on Lori's FB page.  

Like Frog99, I would love to know her definition of plenty. She says they have a lot in savings and don't have to worry about money. One possibility is that they received some kind of inheritance and put it in savings. But, shit happens in life and savings can be wiped out. 

[wallysmommy]

I spun the wheel (actually went down the rabbit hole FB page) and it stopped on this post.  It's time for another sex pep talk from the Godly Mentor.  It's okay to fake it so long as the headship is pleasured.  I bet most of the leghumpers can recite the alphabet backward at warp speed because they've recited it so much lying on their backs staring at the ceiling.  

[EowynW]

I asked Mr. EW what what his ATI Gothard family taught him about working and making it in life. He said it was "get a job, any job, you need a job. $9 an hour will do" then "well you need something that pays more if you're going to have a family. Go find that." With absolutely zero guidance on his talents, strengths, career fields that would be good for him, college guidance, credit building, etc. and keeping in mind they raised all their kids in a rural area with little job prospects all with shitty pay. 

I think this is more common in these families then they let on. 

 

[Evangeline]

I can't stand the way Lori writes. This:

"We are commanded to not deprive our husband. We are told to love him..."

makes it sound like we're sharing a husband with Lori. Which.... no thank you very much. 

[SilverBeach]

I don't need to be told to love my husband since I didn't marry him to give me "free" everything. The emotion-free, command filled life Lori Alexander describes for women is totally unappealing. Stupid woman thinks there needs to be a bible verse for everything. Think about obeying the Lord when you are having sex, that'll excite you! Her smug church-lady tone drives me insane.

[Sarah92]

She's just wonderful at making marriage seem like a business transaction. There's just no warmth, no kindness. I mean has she ever really shared a cute, funny story about her and Ken? Like idk, " one time Ken and I danced in the rain and then stayed up all night talking/giggling in front of a fire drinking hot chocolate: he had the blue mug and I had the pink one". The kind of relationship she describes is no different than having a boss 24/7. I'd much rather have a boss 7.5 hours of the day and come back and do whatever I wanted.

[squiddysquid]

5 hours ago, wallysmommy said:

I spun the wheel (actually went down the rabbit hole FB page) and it stopped on this post.  It's time for another sex pep talk from the Godly Mentor.  It's okay to fake it so long as the headship is pleasured.  I bet most of the leghumpers can recite the alphabet backward at warp speed because they've recited it so much lying on their backs staring at the ceiling.  

Yep, just like a godly prostitute.

Has she ever enjoyed sex at all?

[DundeeUnFundie]

I like this girl's channel.

[livinglongerthanyou]

11 hours ago, Frog99 said:

I just went to peek- looks like they have 2 kids. They would be eligible for roughly $640 per month in food stamps but not TANF- Texas has the max income set insanely low as far as I could tell (and when I googled, there were links to articles about how they have decreased TANF with no actual decrease in poverty. I’m guessing they are eligible for earned income as well. $22k per year is roughly $1800/month. In my area, it is almost impossible to find housing for much less than $1000/month- even subsidized. I’d love to know her definition of plenty. 

There is definitely something missing in her story. I don't know if her family receives benefits, but if they do, she is presenting a false narrative. 

It's like that Severine woman who comments on Lori's page. She has stated once or twice that her family receives benefits. It's glossed over of course. 

I want to see children eating well, not worrying about poverty and being able to see a doctor when they need too. I don't begrudge a child who needs my tax dollars to realize all these things. I do however get pissy with their holier-than-thou parents. 

[livinglongerthanyou]

18 hours ago, Loveday said:

I bought myself a Kitchenaid mixer a few weeks before Christmas. Got a fantastic deal on it. I'm 60 and had never had one before. Now...I want to be buried with it, I love it so much. 

My husband bought me my very first food processor as a Christmas gift. I am so in love with it and if I can't think of someone to leave it too in the event of my demise, it is also being cremated with me.

[livinglongerthanyou]

Lori has never wanted for anything. Not for a single second. She has not a single clue about hunger or poverty and any of the associated stresses. She had a housekeeper and nanny because she couldn't even put in the actual effort that is required to be a SAHM. I don't like to wish negative things on people, but in Lori's case it would be an absolute positive for her to experience being hungry, poor, homeless etc. I have asked her time and again to participate in a sleep on the streets event in her city and of course I only heard crickets.