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Coconut Flan

Maxwell 28: You Can Leave Your Vest On!

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Tired
AnnaSofia
1 minute ago, petrushka said:

You'd think now that most of her brothers are married and their circle of acquaintances expanded by virtue of meeting all the in-laws-that Sarah would have caught the attention of some acceptable fellow.  Five minutes with Steve and Teri probably killed more budding romances than we'll ever know. 

Yeah, I was wondering about Teri's use of "the right man". I can easily picture Steve simply deciding that anyone who shows interest in Sarah isn't good enough for one reason or another.

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thoughtful
8 minutes ago, petrushka said:

Five minutes with Steve and Teri probably killed more budding romances than we'll ever know.  

I can just imagine it. Steve and Teri seem so soft and small and harmless, until you get close, then . . .

Spoiler

 

Run away! Run away!

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MamaJunebug
33 minutes ago, Palimpsest said:

Actually Sarah does do the books for a couple of non-family local Christian businesses.

She seemed to go through a very miserable forced smile patch, but got back a bit of sparkle when Steve let her get Ellie.  Her substitute for a child, I think.

Agreed.  Sarah did get a bit of encouragement from someone in the comments who married in her late 30s and had a child at 39.  But Teri apparently thinks there is no hope.  Stone cold b*tch is correct.

As for this:

I'd be surprised no-one has ever, ever, sought to court Sarah.  

Although probably as shy and retiring socially as the other two, Sarah is the most conventionally good looking of all three sisters.   She is definitely the most photogenic, because Anna and Mary are better-looking in real life.  And she is a proven earner, won't piddle on the carpets, and was well indoctrinated into submission.

It begs the question: how many men have been interested in Sarah but were run off by Steve because they were the "wrong" man.  In his opinion, of course.

 

No, no, that opinion was ALL “God’s,* don’t ya know??? 

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Nervous
Coconutwater

That’s a horrible birthday post, what an ass. I would rather nothing be said about me than that. Sarah’s smiles in the photos look so forced, except the one with Ellie. 

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Waffle Time
mango_fandango

Oh God, Steve of Caerbannog... *shudder*

And holy shit that birthday post! It sounds like they’ve officially given up on her getting married. 

FUCK YOU STEVE. FUCK. YOU.

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Waffle Time
Lisafer
6 hours ago, albanuadh_1 said:

I really could just weep for Sarah after reading that post.  I don't know what Sarah really wanted out of life but her 'mother' made it sound like it's over! More like an obituary, for Heaven's sake!!!

I agree. It almost made me want to cry, reading that pitiful, sad post. THAT's what she gets on her birthday? "Welp, sorry your life dreams got crushed. You're a really useful servant for us, though, and that's great."

I have not felt this bad for Sarah in a long time. I'd rather have my birthday ignored than get a post like that, and public, no less.

I wish she could break away from the borg. Her life wouldn't be over then. She could marry, if she wanted. Even if she's on the older side for having children of her own, she could foster kids, maybe adopt. I don't want her to rot away in Maxhell.

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anjulibai

I think this is their way of acknowledging to the world that Sarah will never marry. I wouldn't be surprised if her bio in the about section takes away the part about her waiting on the Lord for the right guy. 

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JermajestyDuggar

What’s crazy is that my SIL is almost the exact same age as Sarah (just 2 months younger) and is unmarried and childless. No one is assuming she will never get married and have a kid or two. In the mainstream world, a 37 year old still has time to have a family. 

Edited by JermajestyDuggar

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usedbicycle

Am I the only one to feel kind of relieved they are finally addressing Sarah's situation? It's awful in the sense that her parents are the cause of her disappointment, but it's also a step forward from pretending everything is fine and dandy in Maxhell.

 

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Tigerchild74

I have to admit, as much as I tend to lack a lot of feeling sorry for grown adults that choose to stay in a life like that, seeing that post was a real kick in the guts.

That is an unbelievably evil thing to say to ANYONE in that manner, much less your own child.  It goes beyond unkindness.  It is shocking, even for a narcissist asshole.  The tone of it makes me wonder if it's not retaliatory (not towards Sarah herself) but a lashing out at people who have wondered about Sarah's path in life, and worry that it reflect poorly on Teri and Steve (it does).

What a disgusting way to throw your child under the bus for your own egotistical purposes.

There are many women who have their first children in their late 30s, and even MORE who have additional kids into their 40s.  Including a lot of fundie people who don't practice birth control.  I myself had an ooopsie baby 3 months shy of my 40th birthday and it was the easiest and healthiest pregnancy out of all of mine (the rest happened in my 20s) with the healthiest baby.

Fuck you, Teri and Steve.  You do not deserve the love your children have for you.  I almost wish I could believe in God anymore, because I wish I could believe you'd burn in hell for your perversion of the scriptures and teachings of Jesus.

Just now, usedbicycle said:

Am I the only one to feel kind of relieved they are finally addressing Sarah's situation? It's awful in the sense that her parents are the cause of her disappointment, but it's also a step forward from pretending everything is fine and dandy in Maxhell.

 

They're not addressing the situation.  They're deflecting criticism from themselves and USING her as a shield to do that.  It's not a step forward.  It's remaining entrenched and being even more disgusting than they already are.

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Nervous
Coconutwater
44 minutes ago, Tigerchild74 said:

I have to admit, as much as I tend to lack a lot of feeling sorry for grown adults that choose to stay in a life like that, seeing that post was a real kick in the guts.

That is an unbelievably evil thing to say to ANYONE in that manner, much less your own child.  It goes beyond unkindness.  It is shocking, even for a narcissist asshole.  The tone of it makes me wonder if it's not retaliatory (not towards Sarah herself) but a lashing out at people who have wondered about Sarah's path in life, and worry that it reflect poorly on Teri and Steve (it does).

What a disgusting way to throw your child under the bus for your own egotistical purposes.

There are many women who have their first children in their late 30s, and even MORE who have additional kids into their 40s.  Including a lot of fundie people who don't practice birth control.  I myself had an ooopsie baby 3 months shy of my 40th birthday and it was the easiest and healthiest pregnancy out of all of mine (the rest happened in my 20s) with the healthiest baby.

Fuck you, Teri and Steve.  You do not deserve the love your children have for you.  I almost wish I could believe in God anymore, because I wish I could believe you'd burn in hell for your perversion of the scriptures and teachings of Jesus.

They're not addressing the situation.  They're deflecting criticism from themselves and USING her as a shield to do that.  It's not a step forward.  It's remaining entrenched and being even more disgusting than they already are.

My mother had her last at 38, there’s nothing wrong with waiting or having kids you didn’t expect. I’m in my mid 30’s engaged with no children. I don’t see myself as a failure, my partner and I plan to start having them once we’re more settled. 

Steve and Terri took away everything from their children, they didn’t deserve to have any. Isn’t Sarah the one who was more prone to being anxious as a child? This kind of environment just fuels anxiety and depression (not diagnosing) I have anxiety disorders and panic attacks and if my parents hadn’t pushed me, I would still be in their house or at my grandmothers. 

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SassyPants
11 hours ago, LurkerOverThePond said:

I was actually kind of shocked to read Teri's birthday post. She made it sound like Sarah's life was over and will never change (which it probably won't), but for God's sake! She's "only" 37 and could very well find a "man of her dreams" later on, however unlikely that is in her circles. She may and most likely will never be a mom of many, if any, but finding love later in life is something that happens _all_the_time_. Jesus, Teri, try a little more, will you :5624795033223_They-see-me-rollinroll:

I'm only three years older than Sarah and not a mother (by my own choice), but I cannot imagine living her life.

Yes. It is written as if Sarah had just died, and in affirmation of a productive, albeit disappointing life led. 

Terrible. These parents are just horrible. It’s a different form of abuse, but abuse nonetheless. Can you imagine robbing your adult offspring of the freedom and joy of living their own lives?

Cruel and twisted, for sure.

And just an FYI to Steve, your sons aren’t all that great in the grand scheme of things. Compare them to an average pool of young men their ages, they are barely average in accomplishments and successes, not to mention actionable outreach. 

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Elegant Mess
1 hour ago, SassyPants said:

Yes. It is written as if Sarah had just died, and in affirmation of a productive, albeit disappointing life led. 

Geez, Teri, why don't you rub salt in the wound by hiring J Rod to do another funeral for a still-living person! 

Unbelievable!

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OhNoNike

I’m glad she’s still having mochas. After we joked about it so much, I was worried that Steve deemed them too enjoyable and forbid them. 

ETA- I would like to know what else she is about to have with the mocha.  

84328525-6F37-47FB-A7B1-71543203DB2C.thumb.jpeg.68496eb75e4e8ec22c39d291b4ad3d3f.jpeg

Edited by OhNoNike
Forgot thought

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WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?
2 hours ago, OhNoNike said:

ETA- I would like to know what else she is about to have with the mocha.  

Do you suppose she meant "...about to have a mocha and smile!"? Probably not, but it's the nicest interpretation I can think of.

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mango_fandango

Omfg. Sarah spent a few hours ORGANISING HER DAMN CLOSET. Seriously?? This just shows how utterly empty her life is, that the thing she wants to do on her birthday is clean her bloody closet. She can’t go out to a bar and have a few drinks with friends, she can’t go to the cinema and catch the latest blockbuster, she can’t enjoy a concert with a boyfriend... even if I had a closet that needed cleaning and I quite enjoyed organising, I sure as hell wouldn’t clean it on my birthday. 

Plus the obligatory family party, like what happens with every other birthday in this family. It must be a real kick in the teeth for Sarah to see her sisters-in-law raising their kids and enjoying married life, particularly after that shitty birthday post.

D4A4E78F-213A-4BA0-8503-B7FB20F86AEB.thumb.png.c7c2ad3ca050dee9ff0c7c7caea20fc8.png

I guess that some people would like organising a closet, and may well choose to do so on their birthday, but Sarah doesn’t have any other options in her life. 

Edited by mango_fandango
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browngrl

I just read the Maxwell post on Sarah birthday. I should know the Maxwell's better but IMO this post seems so mean spirited. Why harp on what must be a painful or at least stressful subject on her birthday and in public?

Anyway, Steve Maxwell (since I'm assuming you read here ) here is a simple birthday greeting that you may copy. 

"Happy Birthday Sarah! You are a wonderful sister and daughter. Your smile brightens our days. Your hard work helps us all. We are deeply grateful for all the care you give all of us. May God bless you richly."

See what I did there? I just thanked her and complimented her and wished her well with no hidden barbs.

Edited by browngrl
added a word I forgot
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MamaJunebug
1 hour ago, mango_fandango said:

Omfg. Sarah spent a few hours ORGANISING HER DAMN CLOSET. Seriously?? This just shows how utterly empty her life is, that the thing she wants to do on her birthday is clean her bloody closet. She can’t go out to a bar and have a few drinks with friends, she can’t go to the cinema and catch the latest blockbuster, she can’t enjoy a concert with a boyfriend... even if I had a closet that needed cleaning and I quite enjoyed organising, I sure as hell wouldn’t clean it on my birthday. 

Plus the obligatory family party, like what happens with every other birthday in this family. It must be a real kick in the teeth for Sarah to see her sisters-in-law raising their kids and enjoying married life, particularly after that shitty birthday post.

D4A4E78F-213A-4BA0-8503-B7FB20F86AEB.thumb.png.c7c2ad3ca050dee9ff0c7c7caea20fc8.png

I guess that some people would like organising a closet, and may well choose to do so on their birthday, but Sarah doesn’t have any other options in her life. 

I’m admittedly skewed on this subject (I got to IM briefly with Marie Kondo and might as well have died & gone to heaven) , but I can see where PSarah might have enjoyed the specific attention from AnnaNotMarie, and the chance to do something for herself with her sister’s help, over a few hours without nieces & nephews (even though they’re precious) or their married SILs (they might be smug marrieds, who knows?).

.Certainly without ever-balefully watchful Father & Mother

Worrying not about others but going over PSarah’s stuff, on PSarah’s schedule, figuring out what best benefits PSarah....

Man!!! Looking at that written down, I realize again what little agency those young adults  have over their own lives, where beyond what any adult, middle-class person might expect as basic birthday f-n (breakfast, dessert, party), the only other special birthday recognition is time and assistance to make her closet more user-friendly.

...At least it seems she doesn’t have to share a closet. 

(The Maxgals are effectively nuns. If Eddie Bauer begins to market veils & wimples....)

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Tired
AnnaSofia

I just realized how close Sarah Maxwell's birthday is to Sarah Mally's. I'm pretty sure the other Sarah M turned 40 on the 17th of this month.

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mango_fandango

Oh I totally see that Sarah might really enjoy organising with her sisters. It’s just so representative of the Maxwell lifestyle, how little they have going on in their lives. 

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Stola

The tone of her replies is So! Very! Cheerful! that it feels incredibly forced. I haven't read the blog in a while, but I don't recall her writing usually feeling quite so like being forcibly bludgeoned with a smile emoji... 

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Sops2

The day the reality hits that you will never become a mother and that this life has passed you by- you have a blubbering, snotty nosed heart wrenching breakdown.

It changes who you are- you will never be who you hoped you would be, and you have to let that hope go. Hugs and kisses from other peoples children will never compensate no matter whatever you try to believe

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HerNameIsBuffy
8 hours ago, MamaJunebug said:

The Maxgals are effectively nuns.

Nuns have careers, education is encouraged, and they are supposed to serve more than their parents.

they also leave home to follow their vocation.

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MamaJunebug
11 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Nuns have careers, education is encouraged, and they are supposed to serve more than their parents.

they also leave home to follow their vocation.

Cloistered nuns. 

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Happy
PennySycamore

But even cloistered nuns have more freedom that the Maxgals do.  Some nuns can and do pursue higher education (master's and higher) while in the cloister and I would assume that most nuns go into the cloister with baccalaureate degrees.  I've mentioned  Sister Noella Marcellino before.  She earned a PhD in microbiology and went to France to study cheesemaking.   This was all after she entered the Abbey of Regina Laudis in Connecticut.  The Abbess of Regina Laudis is Mother Lucia Kuppens who is a scholar of Shakespeare and hold a PhD in English from Yale.  The big difference between these women and the Maxwell sisters are that the nuns all freely chose their lives as cloistered nuns.  The same can't be said of the young women in Maxhell.  

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