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Coconut Flan

Maxwell 28: You Can Leave Your Vest On!

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SPHASH

Usually the birthday post has a "we look forward to see what the Lord has in store for you this year" but this one is a birthday and naysayers post rolled into one.  FUCK YOU Griselda Teri, you are one stone cold bitch.

Edited by SPHASH
ETA
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nomoxian
15 hours ago, OhNoNike said:

Wow.  I’m only a few days older than her.  I never realized that. 

Happy Cake Day! How do you like your coffee? ;)

1 hour ago, catlady said:

Why would you say that at any time, much less as a happy birthday message? 

I wouldn't say that, but I'm no Great Conversationalist like the Maxhells!

Edit to add: I went to the blog post, and boy is it awful. Can her own mother not think of something to say that doesn't relate back to her - what Sarah does for the family business, ministry, home, etc. She is not allowed any identity, interests or anything for herself. I get that they follow the "JOY" model, but why is there no Y? 

I'll second the comment above, and add Steve to the mix - go F *Y*

Edited by nomoxian
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JermajestyDuggar

Sarah’s birthday post is depressing as hell. I swear they get worse every year.

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WiseGirl

Yikes! What a birthday post. It did have one effect on me,  I now think the Duggar birthday posts are great and very personal. Imo, that "mother" is just as much of an ass as the patriarchal ass. *I can't bring myself to use their names after that awful post.

Really how hard is it to just post "Happy birthday,  have a great day?" Too f*n?

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OhNoNike

Aw. “Dear Sarah: Sorry a man didn’t find you. But hey, thanks for being the family bitch! We love you!” 

And again, no mention of love for coffee.  Y’all. Has it been deemed to enjoyable?!

@nomoxian Thank you!  I like it very milky, no sugar.  Also  non-homemade lattes.  I may go get myself one now, in fact, because my kids and husband are still asleep and I have 10 mins of quiet.  

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HerNameIsBuffy
31 minutes ago, WiseGirl said:

Yikes! What a birthday post. It did have one effect on me,  I now think the Duggar birthday posts are great and very personal. Imo, that "mother" is just as much of an ass as the patriarchal ass. *I can't bring myself to use their names after that awful post.

Really how hard is it to just post "Happy birthday,  have a great day?" Too f*n?

I've always thought Steve the most compassionate and parental of the two.  How heartbreaking.

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Granwych
1 hour ago, OhNoNike said:

Aw. “Dear Sarah: Sorry a man didn’t find you. But hey, thanks for being the family bitch! We love you!” 

And again, no mention of love for coffee.  Y’all. Has it been deemed to enjoyable?!

@nomoxian Thank you!  I like it very milky, no sugar.  Also  non-homemade lattes.  I may go get myself one now, in fact, because my kids and husband are still asleep and I have 10 mins of quiet.  '

Happy Birthday, fellow FJer!  May 2019 be full of all things bright and beautiful for you and all the Nikettes.

 

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albanuadh_1

I really could just weep for Sarah after reading that post.  I don't know what Sarah really wanted out of life but her 'mother' made it sound like it's over! More like an obituary, for Heaven's sake!!!

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singsingsing

Well geez. Happy Birthday, Sarah! Sorry your mom thinks you're a dried up old spinster! 🙄

What is she, 37? 38? I'll be 31 in a few months, and 37/38 still seems so young to me! I'm also single and have been pretty much my whole life but it's because I just haven't met anyone I feel like dating. I hope it's the same for Sarah, but realistically, how many opportunities to meet men does she have? 

Or what if she doesn't care for the men she does meet? That was part of my problem for most of my 20s. I was really involved in church life and was trying my darndest to be a Christian and thought I could only date Christians. But I mysteriously found that I wasn't particularly compatible with any of the Christian guys I met...

Anyway, she's YOUNG. And even if she weren't, people of all ages, literally all ages, meet and fall in love, form relationships and get married all the time. But she's still young, she could easily still get married and even have a couple kids if she wants. 

What an asshole-ish birthday message to write to your own daughter.

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Lgirlrocks

The proverbs 31 women also worked outside of the home. That’s a big no no for fundies. I feel like that post was a stab at everyone saying Sarah is just another SAH fundie daughter who does nothing. 

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Rosie
2 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Sarah’s birthday post is depressing as hell. I swear they get worse every year.

I completely agree.  Teri has really outdone herself here.  WTF is wrong with her?

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MamaJunebug
2 hours ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

I've always thought Steve the most compassionate and parental of the two.  How heartbreaking.

If so, it’s by the thinnest of hairs. Think of his waterworks turning on to scare the eldest sons away from sports. Of his discouraging (forbidding?) those boys from learning actual trades / professions. My opinion is that a person who wants to go into emergency medical response feels a calling on the same level as one who wants to go into the ministry to serve God and humankind.  Steve blocked that because of HIS whacked-out, unbalanced reality.

I think they’re both self-absorbed dicks who see humans - even their relations - as nothing more than props for their own egos and aims; or as impediments to the same.   

The world is probably lucky that Pharisteve and Terifying latched on to the patriarchal / sheltering school of life as opposed to the patriarchal / firearms-in-bulk way of life. 

Edited by MamaJunebug

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HerNameIsBuffy
28 minutes ago, MamaJunebug said:

If so, it’s by the thinnest of hairs. Think of his waterworks turning on to scare the eldest sons away from sports. Of his discouraging (forbidding?) those boys from learning actual trades / professions. My opinion is that a person who wants to go into emergency medical response feels a calling on the same level as one who wants to go into the ministry to serve God and humankind.  Steve blocked that because of HIS whacked-out, unbalanced reality.

I think they’re both self-absorbed dicks who see humans - even their relations - as nothing more than props for their own egos and aims; or as impediments to the same.   

The world is probably lucky that Pharisteve and Terifying latched on to the patriarchal / sheltering school of life as opposed to the patriarchal / firearms-in-bulk way of life. 

Agreed.  that's why it's so sad.  When Steve is the marginally less hateful option that makes a heartbreaking statement.

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Sops2

Have just read the  birthday message and also the comments on the blog.

Have none of the commenters got brothers, cousins or nephews they could introduce to Sarah?

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freejugar

We always snarked on the "how they like their coffee" birthday posts but I think the Maxwells should go back to that, this post simply mentions all her failures and all the ways she is useful as an unpaid slave.

She is only worth something to Teri because of the work she does for her.

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thoughtful

I agree with those who said this sounds like an obituary!

Quote

We know you envisioned your life to be a stay-at-home mom homeschooling children, but God hasn’t directed  that way by bringing the right man into your life. So you have focused your energies on what He has given you to do and had an amazingly  productive life in that

 . . . so you might as well just die now. Oh, no -- wait. Don't die -- we need you as a live-in slave. :pb_rollseyes:

I see another possible attitude besides cruelty in Teri's message. I think it's possible that Teri didn't mean to be nasty, that she is so entangled in the lies around which she and Steve have woven their lives, that she actually could be thinking "of course every woman should be a successful wife and mother like me, and you didn't achieve that, poor thing (I have no idea why), but we love you anyway."

Believe me, I'm not letting Teri off the hook -- I think that might be even sadder and more unpleasant for Sarah.

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Marian the Librarian

That has got to be one of the nastiest post I've ever seen on the Maxwells' blog.

"...but God hasn’t directed  that way by bringing the right man into your life. (Because your psychopath of a father and I keep your leg irons niiiiice and tight, so how could you possibly have a snowball's chance in hell of ever meeting the right man? Silly girl, for having gotten your hopes up!"

Fixed that for ya, Teri. Please, come on down and accept this lovely "Mommy Dearest" award. 

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erunerune

WHAT THE HELL DID I JUST READ????  Wow, that post was so smug and mean to poor Sarah.

I’d take her out myself for an actual birthday celebration, but I’m not sure I could mask the sadness and pity I felt just reading that awful birthday message.

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Aithuia

What makes that post truly remarkable to me is how the only focus on Sarah herself is how she has seemingly failed to achieve her goals/dreams/etc. It seems to indicate that the Maxwells believe that the only thing about Sarah as a person worth mentioning is that she has not managed to become what everyone in their fundie world believes she should be. Beyond that astonishingly cruel first paragraph, Sarah's importance to the family is described in more of an employee role rather than a family member--and not being married (because of her despicable parents), she's not even "extended family" at that! 🙄

There's also no awareness that Sarah's goal of being "a stay-at-home-mom homeschooling children" wouldn't be the only option for her without Steve's ruthless control, or even that it could still happen! Teri seems perfectly happy to write Sarah off as too old. In writing this, Teri may reveal a lot about how the Maxwells think of their daughters. After reading that, I honestly have to wonder if Steve and Teri blame, look down on, or resent them for not being married.

On a side note, the post even feels rushed and disjointed overall and looks like some cutting and pasting or careless/hasty editing may have happened (the extra spaces after "directed" and "amazingly" in that awful first graf). This might be a crazy thought, but it's sometimes pretty clear on the Maxwell blog when posts are done in annoyance (think the John and Chelsy engagement post and its passive-aggressiveness). Maybe Teri and Sarah had an argument about something, and this was Teri's response? Poor Sarah.

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HermioneSparrow

I've always thought that Teri was as horrible as Steve... that post confirms my belief. The Maxwell offspring really had no luck in the parents department.

Also, Teri F*ck U!!

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Sister Mozz

Wow, you guys weren't kidding. I can't believe that paragraph is how the post starts! It might have been a tiny bit less offensive if it had been at the end after some birthday cheeriness, as a recognition that all is not sunshine and roses. Nope! It's all doom from the start. 😦

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Palimpsest
On 1/18/2019 at 2:26 PM, punkiepie said:

 never played in group sports, went to formal school with peers, participated in youth group, or worked a job that wasn't for a non-family member. 

Actually Sarah does do the books for a couple of non-family local Christian businesses.

23 hours ago, MamaJunebug said:

It’s hard to tell because her smiles - like all her generation’s - are plastered on. I’m no good at reading whether “the smile goes to the eyes” but I do see a sdiminution in PSarah’s smiles. Back when she was 20, 21, there was a little mischief, a spontaneity.  Not now.  Not for a while, actually. 

She seemed to go through a very miserable forced smile patch, but got back a bit of sparkle when Steve let her get Ellie.  Her substitute for a child, I think.

7 hours ago, LurkerOverThePond said:

I was actually kind of shocked to read Teri's birthday post. She made it sound like Sarah's life was over and will never change (which it probably won't), but for God's sake! She's "only" 37 and could very well find a "man of her dreams" later on, however unlikely that is in her circles. She may and most likely will never be a mom of many, if any, but finding love later in life is something that happens _all_the_time_. Jesus, Teri, try a little more, will you :5624795033223_They-see-me-rollinroll:

I'm only three years older than Sarah and not a mother (by my own choice), but I cannot imagine living her life.

Agreed.  Sarah did get a bit of encouragement from someone in the comments who married in her late 30s and had a child at 39.  But Teri apparently thinks there is no hope.  Stone cold b*tch is correct.

As for this:

Quote

We know you envisioned your life to be a stay-at-home mom homeschooling children, but God hasn’t directed  that way by bringing the right man into your life. 

I'd be surprised no-one has ever, ever, sought to court Sarah.  

Although probably as shy and retiring socially as the other two, Sarah is the most conventionally good looking of all three sisters.   She is definitely the most photogenic, because Anna and Mary are better-looking in real life.  And she is a proven earner, won't piddle on the carpets, and was well indoctrinated into submission.

It begs the question: how many men have been interested in Sarah but were run off by Steve because they were the "wrong" man.  In his opinion, of course.

 

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Foudeb

"Today is Sarah's 37th birthday. The Lords path for her so far has not been what we expected, but Sarah has risen up to every challenge with grace and continued faith. She is the backbone of Titus 2, does essential work behind the scenes for her brothers' businesses, and of course her books bring much joy to children all over the country. 

Sarah, your father and I could not be prouder of you and your achievements. But first and foremost we are grateful we can enjoy your presence and support with us every day. You fill us with joy and can't wait to see what you will make of this coming year. Happy birthday!" 

See, it can be done (same message here as the original) without sounding like a grade A bitch. 

I hope Sarah had someone (besides Ellie) who made her feel cherished and valued today. Everyone deserves as much. 

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AnnaSofia

"God" hasn't brought the right man into her life, Teri? You mean that someone whose social life consists of housecleaning with family members and ministering to nursing home patients hasn't had a husband fall in her lap? Yeah, surely God is calling the shots here :pb_rollseyes:

Anna is what, 26? Is she single because of God, or because you and Stevehovah don't allow your daughters even the tiny modicum of freedom required to find a spouse that you allow your sons?

Edited by AnnaSofia

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petrushka

You'd think now that most of her brothers are married and their circle of acquaintances expanded by virtue of meeting all the in-laws-that Sarah would have caught the attention of some acceptable fellow.  Five minutes with Steve and Teri probably killed more budding romances than we'll ever know. 

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