Dillards 72: Peak Pathetic

[VelociRapture]

50 minutes ago, Four is Enough said:

I never met Mr. Four's father, who died when he (my husband) was thirteen. Mr. Four does speak of his LIFE more than his death, but he does speak of the death and the aftermath at least once or twice a year. So, even fifty years later, he talks about it. Like Derek's father's death, it was sudden and unexpected. 

I think of Mr. Four's father, I wish I could have met him, I pray for him, but I don't MISS him, nor do I pretend to. 

I think this Dillard "we miss him" stuff is some sort of attempt at inclusiveness, bonding,.......further enmeshment.

Didn’t someone on here once explain that this type of focus on death and the afterlife is common in the type of religious beliefs the Duggars hold? I think it was said in relation to a post Jill made about Rick’s death in the past abd how she and Izzy were looking forward to meeting him in Heaven or something.

[bella8050]

I would add this post to the list of "things Jill posts that I wouldn't" (yes its a long list). I would leave a remembrance post up to my SO and then add my feelings in a comment to that post. 

Three years ago when my aunt passed I ended up having to block someone who I had never met, but who had worked with my aunt, and starting tagging her in posts for weeks. I know she meant well but from the outside it was like she was 'social media grieving' more than her family and closest friends and it came off as more about her than my aunt.

[onekidanddone]

On 1/18/2019 at 11:58 AM, singsingsing said:

Lime yogurt is the best! I find the citrus-y taste perfectly counteracts the sourness of the yogurt. It's really good.

@singsingsing you inspired me 

 

[xlurker]

On 1/17/2019 at 4:06 AM, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

I would have been in lower elementary grades  when Carter was in office,

I'm a bit late to this conversation, but wanted to add I was also learning the metric system in lower to mid elementary grades.  And to date myself a bit, that was prior to the Carter administration.

[Glasgowghirl]

Jill's post would have been fine if she had said how she had wished that her and the boys had the chance to meet him. My uncle died 12 years ago in a similar way to Derick's dad. My cousin has had 6 children since then and his ex did make a post on the anniversary of his death one year saying that she would have loved the chance to meet him and that his grandchildren will know who he was. 

I think Jill unintentionally says things that come across as horrible, Jill Rod doesn't seem to care how she comes across.

[BeccaGrim]

I'd love to know what his grades were in his first semester in law school. Just out of curiosity. Good student. Bad student.  No real reason for this other than my own interest. LOL

[OldFadedStar]

Total potential thread drift here and a little BEC...

 

I'm currently 33 weeks pregnant. I looked down at my toes and realized that i needed to get them painted.. or at least remove the nail polish on there. I do a little test to see if I can even reach my toes at this point and yes, yes I can. Pretty easily actually. 

Then the image of Derrick painting Jills toe nails at Jessas wedding popped into my head. Calendar wise, I'm pretty close to being as pregnant as she was... which means she would have been about 18-19 weeks at Jessas wedding. In the beginning of November, I hadn't slowed anything down at all in my life. Heck, I painted my own toe nails at the beginning of December easily. I cant remember, was he just being sweet or was she unable to paint her toe nails? 

Then I got to thinking about the perceived helplessness of pregnant women. It feels like everyone assumes pregnant women are delicate flowers who cant do anything for themselves and many pregnant women probably restrict what they can do to an extreme. I've been skating at a high level for about 8 years now and I continued to skate throughout the first part of my pregnancy. People got upset that I dared put on my skates after finding out I was pregnant even though I had no bump and was going maybe a quarter of my typical intensity. 

Obviously, everybody is different and every pregnancy is different.. it just got me thinking in terms of fundie pregnancy. If they believe they are unable to do anything while pregnant and spend a majority of their lives pregnant, is it possible for them to even have anything independent of pregnancy? 

[Kayleigh83]

On 1/19/2019 at 9:11 AM, LilMissMetaphor said:

I've never heard these called anything other than "freezies", regardless of brand, so that was an interesting drift.

Same here, always known these as just freezies no matter what. But that big giant bulk box with no labeling whatsoever on the packages inside was what you saw 99% of the time anyways. Perfect cheap childhood summer treat. Best flavor was white, then blue, then orange - the rest were just kind of there.

On the topic of food photography, I’ve also wondered why she hasn’t asked or hasn’t been offered some tips by Jinger who has been a hobby photographer for years? Granted more for portraits but I’m sure she can give lots of general tips that could be applied to food photography!

I think in Jill’s case it’s really that she doesn’t know any better to know she can DO any better at this point. I really hope she keeps at it and grows in her skill and confidence with it though if it’s something she enjoys - we all start somewhere.

[bella8050]

I loved freeze pops...but I never liked them to be frozen all the way. I'd either take them out of the freezer early or let them melt a bit. I liked them slushy. When they were empty my cousins and I would roll them up and then try to blow them out like NYE/birthday noisemakers. 

[Lurker]

I don't think that it would occur to Jill that she could learn something from Jinger.

Jill seems like she is convinced she is always right or better than any one else.  Her recipes, her husband, her kids papa are always the best ever.

I doubt she recognizes she has room for improvement in her recipes, presentation and photography.  Even if she did, she would not ask a younger sister that she probably views with a mixture of contempt, resentment and envy for anything.   

 

[JordynDarby5]

7 hours ago, Lurker said:

I don't think that it would occur to Jill that she could learn something from Jinger.

Jill seems like she is convinced she is always right or better than any one else.  Her recipes, her husband, her kids papa are always the best ever.

I doubt she recognizes she has room for improvement in her recipes, presentation and photography.  Even if she did, she would not ask a younger sister that she probably views with a mixture of contempt, resentment and envy for anything.   

 

That's how I see her too. She seems absolutely convinced she's always right about everything. She could learn a lot from her sisters. Her social media? Improvement in her recipes but she won't. She could learn and it not being a failure. The way Jessa learned from being chewed out about posts and switched to cute pictures and videos of her sons. Its really worked out for Jessa. She could plate her food better, make it look good, add cute or remarks to the weird pictures she puts up to get context to them or stop putting up weird ones. There are many things she could do to improve. But she won't. She's convinced she's right and no one will convince her otherwise.

[WiseGirl]

2 hours ago, JordynDarby5 said:

She could plate her food better

Like Jana did in her bread post. Isn't there something about pride in the Bible? Jill should swallow hers and learn from her sisters IG.

[JordynDarby5]

1 hour ago, WiseGirl said:

Like Jana did in her bread post. Isn't there something about pride in the Bible? Jill should swallow hers and learn from her sisters IG.

Yeah that looked really good. And her picture of Spurg and Henry was a cute picture. Jill could be doing that too if she just asked for help. Yes, pride was a big thing in the Bible. I'm sure the Dilliards skip over (to be fair I'm sure that JB and Michelle skipped over it so Jill probably did too. Derick is unable to notice when anything could apply to him.). Just a little help and she could be posting cute pictures and skipping over the weird ones and posting nice pictures of her food.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

4 hours ago, JordynDarby5 said:

The way Jessa learned from being chewed out about posts and switched to cute pictures and videos of her sons. Its really worked out for Jessa.

And made her more dangerous.

these people learning how to hide their hate and appear innocuous is terrifying, not commendable.  (Not saying you were commending her for it, just that if the Dillard’s keep their dangerous beliefs front and center that’s a very good thing.  

[WarriorJane]

On 1/18/2019 at 5:31 AM, StraightOuttaArkansas said:

I have a recipe for that soup too. Mine is from Damn Delicious. I love that blog, she has some really great recipes on it, her photos are lovely, recipes are to the season. I have asked for her book for my birthday because she seems like a great one to support. Her Cauliflower Chowder is amazing. Jillymuffin should read there, lots of good stuff.

LOVE that site.   I have made several of her one pot meals and they have all been fantastic.   Great for weeknight meals.   And yes, a good example of how quick and easy recipes can use fresh ingredients and be healthy.  

[JordynDarby5]

20 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

And made her more dangerous.

these people learning how to hide their hate and appear innocuous is terrifying, not commendable.  (Not saying you were commending her for it, just that if the Dillard’s keep their dangerous beliefs front and center that’s a very good thing.  

Oh, no definitely not commending her. That is the one good thing about the Dillards and the one bad thing about so many others. Jessa, Jinger, and the Bates have gotten better at hiding their dangerous beliefs.  I guess the good thing about Jill is she isn't likely to get better because she thinks she's doing it right. Who knows maybe she thinks Jessa and Jinger are doing it wrong.

[SassyPants]

Adaptation and learning from your mistakes IS A GOOD thing for THEM! For society, initially, no. I’m not so cruel that I am going to slam them for adapting, learning and making some changes. If in many years they’ve not grown and adapted further, I’d be much more concerned. Most people ITRW see right through their fake veneers. I do hate how they amass to deny others’ rights.

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

I should ask Jill if she's made this yet. 

 

 

[Four is Enough]

Gherkins? In a chicken?

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

A friend of mine posted this as a joke to her sister because my friend LOVES pickles and her sister hates them. I legit thought it was Jill's newest creation at first, but it was an Instapot recipe someone else did.  I love pickles, not a huge chicken fan, but this looks nasty. 

[Melissa1977]

On 1/21/2019 at 2:55 AM, OldFadedStar said:

Obviously, everybody is different and every pregnancy is different.. it just got me thinking in terms of fundie pregnancy. If they believe they are unable to do anything while pregnant and spend a majority of their lives pregnant, is it possible for them to even have anything independent of pregnancy?

In fact, it's the opposite. Fundies consider that pregnant women must cook and clean and homeschool and garden and be available for sweet fellowshipping. At least, until the elder kids are able to make these chores (not the sweet fellowshipping of course!). The fact that Derrick or any other fundie would do something nice for their pregnant wife means nothing. Just a tender moment. 

Anyway, couples (fundie or not) tend to live the first pregnancy as something special. When someone is expecting the first one it's easy to focus on the pregnancy, emotions etc. Living your life as usual is ok, but pampering yourself or not feeling guilty for being less energetic is also right.

[OldFadedStar]

4 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

In fact, it's the opposite. Fundies consider that pregnant women must cook and clean and homeschool and garden and be available for sweet fellowshipping. At least, until the elder kids are able to make these chores (not the sweet fellowshipping of course!). The fact that Derrick or any other fundie would do something nice for their pregnant wife means nothing. Just a tender moment. 

Anyway, couples (fundie or not) tend to live the first pregnancy as something special. When someone is expecting the first one it's easy to focus on the pregnancy, emotions etc. Living your life as usual is ok, but pampering yourself or not feeling guilty for being less energetic is also right.

Good point. My husband is super supportive during this pregnancy and doesnt make me feel bad for those days that i really don't want to cook.. he will either cook or be fine with ordering something/popping in a frozen pizza. He's also been really good about helping out around the house. I  would hope that some of these spouses would do the same, but you're right that they probably are not. 

Where I am in the pregnancy I don't feel guilty at all about what I can't do.. I do what I can and if I am physically unable to/too exhausted to I don't care. I do take the time to pamper myself too. Maybe I projected a little bit since I have gotten scolded multiple times by family members and friends for doing something I was 100% capable of doing. I had a friend last week concerned because I had picked cones up off the ground. So I guess part of my question is, do pregnant women feel like they cant do something because they actually cant or because society tells them not to? 

[VelociRapture]

56 minutes ago, OldFadedStar said:

Good point. My husband is super supportive during this pregnancy and doesnt make me feel bad for those days that i really don't want to cook.. he will either cook or be fine with ordering something/popping in a frozen pizza. He's also been really good about helping out around the house. I  would hope that some of these spouses would do the same, but you're right that they probably are not. 

Where I am in the pregnancy I don't feel guilty at all about what I can't do.. I do what I can and if I am physically unable to/too exhausted to I don't care. I do take the time to pamper myself too. Maybe I projected a little bit since I have gotten scolded multiple times by family members and friends for doing something I was 100% capable of doing. I had a friend last week concerned because I had picked cones up off the ground. So I guess part of my question is, do pregnant women feel like they cant do something because they actually cant or because society tells them not to? 

There’s really no way to answer that because each case is unique. This is yet another area where women can’t win though - look at any comments section or website concerning pregnancy and you’re pretty much guaranteed to find multiple arguments over what a pregnant woman should or shouldn’t do, as well as tons of comments about how pregnancy isn’t a disability and anyone who takes it easy is lazy, etc. Doesn’t really matter what you choose to do while pregnant, someone is going to judge you for it. 

As for the actual medical recommendations, not much is really known for sure when it comes to pregnancy. A good example of that is the use of medications during pregnancy. Pregnant women are urged to proceed with caution before taking anything because it’s difficult to find willing participants and it’s an ethical grey area to perform clinical trials on pregnant women. I know that Diclegis (anti-nausea medicine - I took that my entire first trimester) is now considered safe for pregnancy, but that only was found after a clinical trial was performed in response to a lawsuit alleging it had caused birth defects. I’d assume that the medical community urges caution for a bunch of recommendations (medications, dietary, exercise, etc.) because they simply can’t always know for sure what is or isn’t going to cause harm and they’re doing their best to keep everyone safe. They also have to consider the risk of lawsuits should anything go wrong as well. I think OBGYNs have the highest rates of medical malpractice lawsuits filed against them in the US. If I’m correct about that then that’s a legitimate concern for practicioners to have and I can’t blame them for urging caution.

Concerning Jill’s first pregnancy specifically, I assume a lot of the criticism directed towards them was due to people just not liking Jill because they find her annoying. I didn’t really see anything wrong with Derick painting her toenails at the time and I still don’t. 

[Ali]

1 hour ago, VelociRapture said:

I didn’t really see anything wrong with Derick painting her toenails at the time and I still don’t. 

I don't either. I am pregnant and would not be able to paint my toes at this point. I won't ask Mr. A to paint mine because it is winter. I might be tempted to ask him if it were summer.

[Markie]

Jill’s latest Instagram post of Sam helping to make sweet potato fries was cute. I like the face he is making in the first one.