Dillards 72: Peak Pathetic

[Jellybean]

Thanks to @HarleyQuinn for the thread title. 

Carry on from here:

Basically, Jill and Derick might be miserable, but we don’t know. 

[HarleyQuinn]

YAAAYYYYYYYYYY FreeJing Jing!

[WiseGirl]

I don't think they are breaking up. I saw a birthday post from Dwreck about his mom on a Tumblr this morning. His wording made me think definitely conservative and okay with his choices.  He passed the JB test, he's not going anywhere. Jmo.

[HarleyQuinn]

I don't think they will actually divorce either but they seem like a mess so it's easy to speculate that maybe they should. 

[CarrotCake]

I don't think they realize how much of a mess their marriage is because they don't realize they actually have the option to feel miserable about it.

[TheOneAndOnly]

Hmm. Married too fast, now have two kids that are at (IMO) exhausting to parent ages. I have seen couples break up at this stage, and they all say it was because they "weren't happy." If they can get through this stage and don't have more kids, they may be all right. I noticed that Jill hasn't posted any new recipes for a while. Perhaps they're busy trying to control their blood pressure from the other recipes.

[Buzzard]

Anna stayed with Joshly after all the crazy crap he did.  Her Holiness Jillymuffin wont be the first divorced Duggar, especially when King Boob controls the coins.

[finnlassie]

And I used to think that Derick was a total dream...

[SillyDillys]

1 hour ago, finnlassie said:

And I used to think that Derick was a total dream...

When I was 18 watching Jill's wedding season, I thought she scored big time. He was cute, with an education. He seemed funny in a dorky way. I bought into the whole Duggar facade of weddings and babies. Wow have times changed.

[nokidsmom]

1 hour ago, SillyDillys said:

When I was 18 watching Jill's wedding season, I thought she scored big time. He was cute, with an education.

Same here.  I thought she found someone who was going to be responsible, had a stable job, maybe rise through the ranks in his career a bit thereby earning enough to not be on JB's dole.   Also to possibly get Jill away from the dog and pony show and her wacko family.   Who knew he would screw it up the way he did.   And I sure didn't expect the idiotic and bigoted tweets.  Sheesh, was I wrong.   

[mango_fandango]

Yep. Everyone’s perceptions were that Derick was going to be Jill’s Prince Charming and they’d go on missions together and have an awesome life. People weren’t too fond of Ben Seewald from what I can remember. Now it’s pretty much the opposite. Ben was a bit of an immature tit at first, but he’s matured now. He did post some stupid stuff on social media, but it was mainly typical young fundie man stuff, nowhere near Derick’s level.

People also thought Jill was going to be a great mom, and were doubtful about how Jessa would take to motherhood. But no, Jessa seems to really enjoy being a mom, whereas Jill seems to find it much more stressful. 

[QuiverFullofBooks]

It’s entirely possible that we are not at Peak Pathetic, but merely at Pathetic Base Camp.

[luv2laugh]

Is JB paying Jill, a la Josh style, out of sympathy?

IS Cathy supporting Derrick?

Has anyone else noticed a lack of Dillard presence at TTH compound????

[luv2laugh]

Derrick has alienated Jill from her family and sisters.

Derrick refuses to attend any Duggar functions as of late.

All of their holidays were spent with his mom Cathy, correct?

Derrick must be mad because he feels Jill, as the original title of counting on star, was cheated out of show pay by JB and left over it. 

He is an angry man and a colossal shit stirrer that Jilly Muffin likely cannot emotionally take well. 

I believe JB was motivated to go to law school to intimidate JB and possibly sue him or go public to the media with interviews and a book.

Poor Jill.

Thess thoughts above are all my opinion only.

[Snarkasarus Rex]

55 minutes ago, luv2laugh said:

I believe JB was motivated to go to law school to intimidate JB and possibly sue him or go public to the media with interviews and a book.

I wondered myself if Dillwank chose to attend law school to level the playing field with JB.  Although that's a lot of work to go through just for that...is he really that immature and angry?  I think it's possible.   He'll likely make it through law school but I think he'd be a terrible lawyer.

I do think JB is at least partially bankrolling them.  

[Lurker]

This is my speculation only. 

I wonder if Jim Bob is supporting them, I don’t know Cathy’s circumstance but maybe she is helping out too.

I could see that JimBob pays for Derrick, maybe like the old fashioned remittance man found in old novels.  JimBob pays  him to keep away from the family brand and to lay off commenting on TLC.  Derrick shuts ups and finds a new path in life.

Another thing that may have caused JimBob to find his way to underwriting the Dillards lifestyle is the control Derrick has over Jill.  She has probably told him the entire truth about her molestations by Josh.  She was groomed by her parents to have no self autonomy,  raised without knowing that incest is not normal (remember she claimed 2/3 of their circle had similar issues), raised to be a perfect doormat aka wifey. She seems desperate to please and appease him.  So if Derrick knows the truth, not the whitewashed story, he has a way to get Jim Bobs attention, albeit with lots of conditions by JimBob see above.

 

[Snarkasarus Rex]

4 minutes ago, Lurker said:

I could see that JimBob pays for Derrick, maybe like the old fashioned remittance man found in old novels.  JimBob pays  him to keep away from the family brand and to lay off commenting on TLC.  Derrick shuts ups and finds a new path in life.

I think that's exactly what happened.  

[Vivi_music]

6 hours ago, nokidsmom said:

Same here.  I thought she found someone who was going to be responsible, had a stable job, maybe rise through the ranks in his career a bit thereby earning enough to not be on JB's dole.

5 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

Yep. Everyone’s perceptions were that Derick was going to be Jill’s Prince Charming and they’d go on missions together and have an awesome life.

TBH, I wouldn't be surprised if Jill thought the same as we did. Being a fundie women, she must have wondered about how he would make a living and support a family. Someone with an education and a possible career seems pretty safe. I am sure she was gleaming with joy with her choice.

Which probably makes the reality check after 5 years into mariage even harsher for her.

[nastyhobbitses]

7 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

Yep. Everyone’s perceptions were that Derick was going to be Jill’s Prince Charming and they’d go on missions together and have an awesome life. People weren’t too fond of Ben Seewald from what I can remember. Now it’s pretty much the opposite. Ben was a bit of an immature tit at first, but he’s matured now. He did post some stupid stuff on social media, but it was mainly typical young fundie man stuff, nowhere near Derick’s level.

People also thought Jill was going to be a great mom, and were doubtful about how Jessa would take to motherhood. But no, Jessa seems to really enjoy being a mom, whereas Jill seems to find it much more stressful. 

Oh, how the tables have turned.

Yup, I remember totally being on the "Derick is an adorkable accountant who will expand Jill's horizons and they can be travel-loving dorks together, and Ben is a frat boy whom Jessa snapped up so she could get out of the house" train. These days? I wouldn't particularly want to be married to either of them, but Ben matured and stepped up to the plate, while Derick regressed into being a petulant, bitter manchild. Maybe he always was that petulant, bitter manchild, but was just better at keeping up the facade in 2014. 

[LacyMay]

2 hours ago, Snarkasarus Rex said:

I wondered myself if Dillwank chose to attend law school to level the playing field with JB.  Although that's a lot of work to go through just for that...is he really that immature and angry?  I think it's possible.   He'll likely make it through law school but I think he'd be a terrible lawyer.

I do think JB is at least partially bankrolling them.  

I've seen the Dereck went to law school to intimidate JB/get all the duggar moneys for Jill/do who knows what to get revenge on the Duggars. Theory a few times, and maybe I'm just over thinking but I just can't make it fit. 

JB is a terrible person. But he has enough business savvy that they made it this far, and for the show to have lasted this long/been reborn they must have access to some legal counsel/the ability to find counsel. 

Does Dereck honestly think that he's going to graduate law school and JB is going to fear this newly graduated inexperienced lawyer with a history of public foibles? I just feel like if baby lawyer Dereck tries to go after JB in 3 years the response will be JB getting a much better lawyer to fight Dereck. 

 

[Drala]

15 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

<snip>People also thought Jill was going to be a great mom, and were doubtful about how Jessa would take to motherhood. But no, Jessa seems to really enjoy being a mom, whereas Jill seems to find it much more stressful. 

If Jill finds motherhood stressful, I'm sure being married to a chronically unemployed man-child who creates conflict with her family doesn't help.   

[Carm_88]

35 minutes ago, Drala said:

If Jill finds motherhood stressful, I'm sure being married to a chronically unemployed man-child who creates conflict with her family doesn't help.   

Honestly, I think that Jill has found most things to be stressful since her marriage. It seems like she had the belief that it would be easy and well, it hasn’t been. Marriage is rarely easy, but to marry someone you barely know? That’s a whole different level. Then she has a c-section that she didn’t want after her elephant’s length of a pregnancy. The scandals came down after that and they took off to Central America leaving her support system when she likely needed it the most. 

There have been a lot of changes for Jill and she doesn’t seem like someone who likes change. Even if Jill is miserable, I feel like she would rather be miserable in marriage, than single. 

[theotherelise]

eh, we still only see a small sliver of curated social media and things on the show. If Derick just got off social media and Jill only posted good smiling kid pictures and recipes for awesome salads, then we still wouldn't know more about how they're actually doing. Just as we don't really know how Jessa and Ben are doing. 

I definitely believe Jill had huge expectations for marriage, because growing up that was the ultimate goal. Her dad picked Derick for her and she got to emulate the Elisabeth and Jim Elliot romance with visiting Derick in Nepal. 

But it does not set your relationship up for long-term strength when you text and call each other for four months, meet once and agree to court, then have two months together under strict rules before you're engaged, and get married three months later. Then you get pregnant a week after your first kiss.

Ben, meanwhile, seemed immature and unfortunate because he was an 18 year old boy. But they got married 14 months after they started courting. And that whole time they were in fairly close proximity (I remember Ben was a couple hours away, but didn't he come up all the time?). 

I think there is a wide range of possibilities for the Dillards. Cross Church is still extremely conservative. But in a church that size, you are going to come across members and attenders with a wider view of theology and the world. Many in my own church claim to be complementarian ("men and women are equal, but with distinct roles based on gender"), but in practice I've almost never seen a wife back down from making a decision or stop herself from asking a question. It's just some ephemeral: I want my husband to be the spiritual leader of our family. But all the women work and many lead small groups and are the heads of ministry areas. I bet plenty at Cross Church use various forms of birth control and send their kids to at least private christian schools. It will be interesting to see how things change for Jill over the next couple years.

[Bobology]

12 hours ago, luv2laugh said:

Derrick must be mad because he feels Jill, as the original title of counting on star, was cheated out of show pay by JB and left over it. 

This definitely could be why he made the "volunteers" statement. The TLC contract is likely with a business heading under JB's umbrella, and JB controls the pay-outs in some convoluted fashion backed by his skewed biblical interpretations.

It has taken me 4 years of lurking to enjoy and appreciate thread drift. But when the discussions turn full-on Duggar like this, without courting/baby drama, I like FJ even more. It is interesting to read how others' speculations compare to my own, and to read ideas that make me chuckle or, even better, challenge me.

[clueliss]

I'm actually wondering if the end game with Derrick hasn't been law school all along.  For me (cost accountant here) it makes sense since he had a bachelor's accounting degree but not a masters (CPA now requires a master's degree).  So he got a bit of work experience in.  And he's gotten his world travel/missionary stuff out of his system.  And he has a wife and kids.  And he tried the whole pastoral training.  And to me (former evangelical here) I can see how a law degree fits in.   In fact, it wouldn't surprise me one iota in the future to see him attempting politics (I know - ew) - meaning he would be able to do (including the law degree) what bro in law Joshly was never able to do thanks to no SROTDRT (I also seem to recall some stupid Christian talk radio bit where there are lawyers who go after incidents where Christians are being 'persecuted' in America and represent them ala conservative Christian version of the ACLU).