Lori Alexander 60: Queen of Woo

[wallysmommy]

7 hours ago, Katzchen24 said:

I'm dedicating this to @wallysmommy who had the original game idea.

Thank you!!!  My evil mind is working on a song about Lori to the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies theme (The Ballad of Jed Clampett).  My weird sense of humor got me into serious trouble 45 years ago in the 8th grade when I wrote a note to a boy and signed my friend's name.  The principal blew a gasket and my mom had to go see him.  Her response == "What do you want me to do?  She's just like me."

I played Cards Against Humanity for the first time last Saturday with my bestie and 4 twenty-somethings.  They were all drunk and one was rolling in the floor saying "(my name), you're so fucking funny."  Here's my black card and white card for Lori:

Black card:  You're at thanksgiving and you want to brighten up the conversation, you ________

White card:  Ask your dad if anal sex is godly.

[NotQuiteMotY]

11 hours ago, Frog99 said:

Prudent is right. I’m sure I have met women who complain about their husbands or had unrealistic or unreasonable expectations, but I would be hard pressed to name one- it would take a lot of thinking. The women I know are doing just what Prudent says- working hard, juggling schedules, and working with their partners to manage home responsibilities. Lori likes to try and normalize her behavior- transfer it to others- but she isn’t representative of anyone I know. We have friends who have divorced- for reasons beyond unhappiness. Lori tries to present that women divorce due to unhappiness. I don’t think people just up and divorce for unhappiness. It might be a symptom of a larger issue, but not the sole issue. 

Can someone explain what Lori might mean about the effects of sin on marriage? What is she talking about? 

I can honestly think of one person I complain about my husband to: one friend I've known for almost twenty years. She complains about her husband to me, too. It's usually griping about something either one's done that drives us crazy. And then we move on and compare kids, talk about her job, etc. We're each other's relief valve, because some days you need that.

But I wouldn't say either of us necessarily have unrealistic expectations, and when we do the other's quick to point it out or at least play devil's advocate.

I suspect she's projecting.

Furthermore, it's rarely as simple as getting divorced for "unhappiness". That might be the public reason, but I think that's because Lori and other critics like her don't understand things like being exhausted by the emotional labor and getting tired of momming an adult, and it's easier to just say that you're unhappy and let the chips fall without having to bare your soul. Frankly those same studies that point out that women are more likely to file for divorce are matched by ones that indicate that men just won't, because they're quite happy having someone who'll put up with being cook, housekeeper, nanny, and breadwinner for no pay even if the other someone is unhappy.

[Hane]

Lori, you insufferable twunt, NOBODY who is “happy” gets a divorce. Unhappiness, in my book, is a damn good reason to get a divorce. One of my friends is in the process of amicably divorcing her husband of 40+ years because she can’t take ONE MORE MINUTE of living with a guy who always has to be right and insists on the last word, even on trivial matters like the colors of their home furnishings. Their kids wonder why she didn’t bail years ago. She even stuck with him when he was in the slammer for a year not long ago for selling weed, not wanting to kick him when he was down. Soon she’ll be moving back to town and living in a one-bedroom apartment on Social Security and a part-time job, but she’ll be happy.

[Alisamer]

21 hours ago, FullOfGravy said:

And women are more likely to outlive that phase of life now than they were when the Bible was written.  If the average life expectancy is less than 50, a woman is more likely to die and leave young children than she is to need a plan for her empty-nest years.

I suspect a huge part of her "Godly Mentor" routine is an excuse to sit home now that the kids are all grown and married. She could work, or volunteer, or help out her children with their kids, or travel the world (other than Door County), take a class or take up a hobby, snuggle kittens after their spay and neuter surgeries (this is a real thing), or any number of things.

But as long as she's the "Godly Mentor" she gets to sit on her bony butt and whine on the internet all day. She can't abandon her leghumpers, she's too busy to do anything actually useful to anyone other than herself!

Hey Lori - my mom was a stay at home mom, until we were all old enough to stay home alone safely after school. But even when she was, she was working on the family farm, keeping the house (no housekeeper), growing a garden, cooking food from scratch (for the whole family, not just herself), AND she enjoyed taking classes in the evening after our dad was home from work. She took cake decorating, flower arranging, and things like that. And when we were a bit older, she took computer classes and other continuing ed classes to prepare her to return to the workplace. All this time she also played piano and organ for the church, was a girl scout cookie mom several times (and troop leader, occasionally), read the newspaper every day, and enjoyed reading novels. Get off your butt, off the internet, and try DOING something. You're wealthy - get some good wool and learn to knit hats for the homeless or caps for chemo patients. You live in California, plant a garden or take a watercolor painting class. Go stock shelves at the food pantry a couple hours a week. 

I'd give an arm to have the free time and money that Lori has, and she just WASTES all of it. 

[Imrlgoddess]

1 hour ago, NotQuiteMotY said:

Frankly those same studies that point out that women are more likely to file for divorce are matched by ones that indicate that men just won't, because they're quite happy having someone who'll put up with being cook, housekeeper, nanny, and breadwinner for no pay even if the other someone is unhappy.

This!  It's been said again and again in various articles and stats that men are more likely to stay in bad situations to avoid the major change involved.  Not filing can be a control tactic, I've seen it done in my personal life and there are plenty of examples of it in court cases all over.  The unwilling party quits paying their attorney or they never get one and hold up all the filings.  They swear they'll put the paperwork in and never do it all the while holding the other party hostage to their "marriage."  

No one should have to be forced to stay where they are not comfortable or do not feel safe, secure, and loved.  

[Free Jana Duggar]

I wish Lori would butt out of other women's business and stop crowing about what she thinks is Godly.  How many children (if any) someone has is none of Lori's concern.  

Some people just aren't kid or baby people. Would she rather children be forced on parents that don't want them and abuse them?   Some people only want one or two children. 

There are barrier methods of birth control for those who are concerned about the methods that don't necessarily prevent conception (only implantation). 

The Bible does say to "be fruitful and multiply" and "blessed is the one whose quiver is full,"  however, neither of those is specific. as to a certain number.  I have a friend who has chosen along with her husband to not have children and spend their time training service dogs.  That sounds like a worthy cause. 

The only negative I can see in not having children is you may not have anyone to care for you in your old age.  

Bottom line:   It's none of your business, Lori. 

[SuperNova]

2 hours ago, Imrlgoddess said:

It's been said again and again in various articles and stats that men are more likely to stay in bad situations to avoid the major change involved.  

Lori would tell you that it's because the evil women take all of the man's money when they divorce. Those poor men having to pay child support and alimony for a divorce that he didn't even initiate.

One of her male reader's proposed circumventing the problem by finding a pastor that would marry a couple without a marriage license.

[AlwaysDiscerning]

This is my response to her post today

https://thingsgodlywomensay.wordpress.com/2019/01/11/my-1-reason-women-arent-having-more-children/

[Sarah92]

Maybe there's more children where there's less gender equality because men have all the say but bear little of the consequences when it comes to children. Men aren't the ones pushing 12 children out of their vaginas or having c sections only to have to take care of them for days on end. Their wives aren't given the right to say no. Also more children are necessary because many of those countries probably have a higher death rate and children are needed for chores. I also can't help but wonder if women are also married younger and forced to start having kids at a very young age. 

From what I know, countries that give women more freedom actually have healthier families. 

Lori, if you are unhappy with the amount of freedom women are given in the US please feel free to move to one of these countries, train as a midwife and help these women deliver their babies. 

[delphinium65]

46 minutes ago, Sarah92 said:

Lori, if you are unhappy with the amount of freedom women are given in the US please feel free to move to one of these countries, train as a midwife and help these women deliver their babies. 

Yes.  Lori, lay off of trying to take our rights away (yes, despite your claims to the contrary, we know that's what you would like to do), go somewhere where you'll feel more comfortable in your self-imposed cage, become a midwife, and do something actually useful for a change. 

On second thought, cancel the midwife suggestion.  I'd hate to be the woman looking to Lori for help delivering a baby.  

[Lgirlrocks]

I’ve said this before but I have zero desire to have children. I love kids. Love baby sitting, playing, and spoiling them. I love holding babies. I still have zero desire to have one. Lori doesn’t get it. The Bible talks about being fruitful and multiplying because they were trying to populate the earth. Not everyone would make a good parent. Not everyone that would make a good parent wants to be one. Just like there are some people who are bad parents keep having kids.

[Imrlgoddess]

So it's cool to fool around with a "feminist" just make sure you don't try to marry her. I mean she's sullied already right?  Ya know, because when a man is screwing around it's totally fine, as long as the women aren't doing the same exact thing. 

She's showing off more of her red pill/manosphere bs.  The MGTOW fellows are famous for talking about the chicks they bag but how they would never bring them home to mom.  The double standard just flies right over their blind, ignorant heads.  

Spoiler

Spoiler

 

[Sarah92]

6 hours ago, Lgirlrocks said:

I’ve said this before but I have zero desire to have children. I love kids. Love baby sitting, playing, and spoiling them. I love holding babies. I still have zero desire to have one. Lori doesn’t get it. The Bible talks about being fruitful and multiplying because they were trying to populate the earth. Not everyone would make a good parent. Not everyone that would make a good parent wants to be one. Just like there are some people who are bad parents keep having kids.

Haha I'm a freaking child's counselor and I don't even know if I want children. Funny enough when I tell a new kiddo that they can ask me questions about myself they almost always ask if I have children. Nope, I'm a proud dog aunt until I can adopt my own pup. Until then, I have some dog nephews to spoil. I also helped raise my nieces but idk if I'd be  good parent . 

 

[Petronella]

On 1/10/2019 at 12:53 PM, ViolaSebastian said:

I used to work at a non-profit and we called them “4Ws”. Well-off, well-meaning, white women.  

I assume this is meant to be negative, but why? Isn’t it good if privileged people help? Isn’t it good for everyone to help? Is the world better if people don’t care and don’t help?

I’m guessing that you only apply this to volunteers who are arrogant or clueless, but that’s not what you’re saying. I wouldn’t feel comfortable working in a place that mocked people for their race, socioeconomic status, and gender. (And for being well-meaning? Weird.)

[feministxtian]

Marriage expectations: 

I think I had a few when I married Mr. Xtian. I think they involved things like putting the toilet seat down, being gainfully employed and being generally a decent human being. The bullshit like supporting me financially, kissing my ass and putting up with my bitchiness were not on the list. Now, he will occasionally kiss my ass, has supported me financially and put up with my bitchiness. I'm glad he did. 

Now things are a whole lot different and expectations have changed. That doesn't mean friction, it means that as grown folks, we sit and discuss things. There's no reason for things to be battles. If two grown ups can't come to a compromise then there's a problem...well, we won't discuss the I want a dog when we have a house thing...I don't think that one's going to go my way. 

[refugee]

On 1/10/2019 at 9:44 PM, Katzchen24 said:

Feminism has taught me things, like.... I deserve the same pay as a man for doing the same job; I deserve to be considered equally with my male colleagues for the same job; I am equal in worth to a man, regardless of how I contribute. I consider myself to be a feminist.

Feminism has never, and I'm stressing the 'never' here, taught me that I deserve my own personal man-slave who caters to my every whim. The thought is frankly horrifying on every level.

  Hide contents

Seriously, if this is the kind of scat she's actually, genuinely, hearing from women, they have bigger issues than feminism to deal with.

Actually, this scribble sounds like she’s describing her own attitude towards Ken but blaming it falsely on feminism.

Maybe If feminism actually taught this attitude, she’d “go over to the other side”.

[Loveday]

On 1/10/2019 at 6:37 PM, teachergirl said:

I have clicked on Alyssa Roberts and I am also certain she is a troll.  You all could click on her and tell me if I am off base. Lori is too stupid to notice when she is being trolled. Her ego is too big to click on profiles I think.

If Lori saw Alyssa's FB page, she'd have a cow. Alyssa is definitely taking the mickey with her.

[Free Jana Duggar]

So the dart landed on "Give your husband sex." this morning,

Lori can't just leave it at " be respectful of each other " in that area.  Everyone knows that sex is a part of marriage. No one should make their partner go months and months without. There will be issues if you do.  My problem is with how Lori makes it sound like a wife can never say no.  

I remember when we got married 26 years ago, a sweet 90-something little old lady told me "Don't have too many headaches".  She didn't say I had to do it every time. 

It's all about loving and respecting each other, not putting out on command.

[wallysmommy]

Never have I ever...seen the crucifixion mixed with a statement about sex.  And that second sentence.  What does that mean.  For Pete's sake, Woman!  Third graders know not to use double negatives.  It's fundamental English!  If sex is a sacrifice, you're doing it wrong.  There's evidently zero sexual attraction between her and Ken if she has to spread a message like this.

Submission isn’t forced. Not depriving our husbands of sex is not forced. Obedience to the Lord and to our husbands isn’t forced. They are given freely and in love. If Christ asks us to carry our cross and be willing to even die for Him, the least we can do is to be sacrificially willing to make our husbands happy by not depriving them sexually.

 

 

[Frog99]

7 hours ago, Petronella said:

I assume this is meant to be negative, but why? Isn’t it good if privileged people help? Isn’t it good for everyone to help? Is the world better if people don’t care and don’t help?

I’m guessing that you only apply this to volunteers who are arrogant or clueless, but that’s not what you’re saying. I wouldn’t feel comfortable working in a place that mocked people for their race, socioeconomic status, and gender. (And for being well-meaning? Weird.)

When I read “well-meaning”, I think of one of my friends who hasn’t fully grasped her own privilege or financial benefits. She once gave a girl in her daughter’s class who was in need of a coat a designer winter coat (that still fit her own daughter), that had a stain on it that wouldn’t come out in the wash (it wasn’t a huge stain, per my friend). The girl didn’t wear the coat and my friend was upset.

She didn’t grasp how that could be seen as offensive- until I walked her through it. She didn’t mean to be offensive- she just doesn’t think things through and jumps right into something 150%. She’s well-meaning. She’s also willing to listen to what I have to say with open ears and an open heart- but not everyone is. 

The problem is that marginalized people in our society are often on the receiving end of transactions such as this. 

[SilverBeach]

46 minutes ago, Frog99 said:

She once gave a girl in her daughter’s class who was in need of a coat a designer winter coat (that still fit her own daughter), that had a stain on it that wouldn’t come out in the wash (it wasn’t a huge stain, per my friend). The girl didn’t wear the coat and my friend was upset.

I donate quite a bit of clothing. I never donate anything that I wouldn't wear myself because of rips, tears, stains, etc. I don't think it is well-meaning to expect anything at all from those you are trying to "help". Seriously, I would have given the coat back and told the woman to just donate it and claim it as a tax deduction to charity. Folks with needs still have dignity. 

[Lgirlrocks]

Fuck you buddy! Seriously marital rape happens all of the time. Making a women feel like she has no choice but to have sex is a form of rape imo. And not depriving of sex is a two way street. For months the bf and I hardly had sex. I wanted to but he was never in the mood. If I had forced him it would have been rape. I waited it out, telling him I loved him and would be ready when he was. If you truly love a person you will wait.

Spoiler

 

[delphinium65]

50 minutes ago, Lgirlrocks said:

Making a women feel like she has no choice but to have sex is a form of rape imo.

I agree completely. Yes means nothing, if no is not an option.  

And the second screenshot? Yeah, that's going to be deleted.  

[Petronella]

2 hours ago, Frog99 said:

When I read “well-meaning”, I think of one of my friends who hasn’t fully grasped her own privilege or financial benefits. She once gave a girl in her daughter’s class who was in need of a coat a designer winter coat (that still fit her own daughter), that had a stain on it that wouldn’t come out in the wash (it wasn’t a huge stain, per my friend). The girl didn’t wear the coat and my friend was upset.

She didn’t grasp how that could be seen as offensive- until I walked her through it. She didn’t mean to be offensive- she just doesn’t think things through and jumps right into something 150%. She’s well-meaning. She’s also willing to listen to what I have to say with open ears and an open heart- but not everyone is. 

The problem is that marginalized people in our society are often on the receiving end of transactions such as this. 

My problem is that using "well-meaning" to mean "well-meaning but clueless" uses the wrong end of the phrase. The problem is not meaning well; the problem is being thoughtless.

I'm really not comfortable with making fun of someone for being a women, or being white, or having a certain number in the bank. If the problem is people who are blinded by their privilege, then that should be what is called out. Rolling your eyes and saying knowingly to your colleague, "Oh, a *woman*" or "Ugh, another white volunteer" is pretty gross (unless perhaps it's a race-based organization?). If the femaleness or whiteness isn't the problem, if well-meaningness isn't the problem, maybe another phrase would serve better.

[Frog99]

2 hours ago, SilverBeach said:

I donate quite a bit of clothing. I never donate anything that I wouldn't wear myself because of rips, tears, stains, etc. I don't think it is well-meaning to expect anything at all from those you are trying to "help". Seriously, I would have given the coat back and told the woman to just donate it and claim it as a tax deduction to charity. Folks with needs still have dignity. 

I agree. And to clarify- she was volunteering in the classroom. It was winter (20 degree temps during the day) and the teacher commented about the little girl not having a coat. Friend knew she had one (that she hadn’t donated to the women and children’s shelter) and took it to school. Stain or no stain, I’ve known people that would find the mere provision of a coat for their child to be offensive.

Sort of like when my sister sends a text “reminding” me what I should send when my parents keep the kiddos overnight (I am not close with my sisters- especially this one) and it beyond pisses me off. It takes every bit of restraint not to respond that I can meet the needs of my kids without her help. I know that’s a simplistic analogy.