Carlin & Evan 4: In Case Anyone Forgot, Carlin Is ENGAGED Y'all

[QuiverFullofBooks]

Carlin: “Do you have one with like, more diamonds?” If you missed the episode, Evan took Carlin to try on rings even before Josie’s wedding (assuming they didn’t screw with the timeline).

I’m glad the Bates ladies enjoyed their trip to New York, and I know that weddings often make ladies squee with delight, but they sounded like 12-year-olds for a good portion of the episode.

[WiseGirl]

53 minutes ago, QuiverFullofBooks said:

Carlin: “Do you have one with like, more diamonds?” If you missed the episode, ...

I don't have Up. Feel free to recap (please). Because I want to know how this played out. Doesn't seem like a meek and submissive comment to me, imo. 

[Belugaloo]

3 minutes ago, WiseGirl said:

I don't have Up. Feel free to recap (please). Because I want to know how this played out. Doesn't seem like a meek and submissive comment to me, imo. 

They were ring shopping and she was given a simple band/single diamond to try on. She was asking for one that had smaller diamonds surrounding the main diamond which is a popular style right now (both of my cousins have rings like this!) 

 

The scene really wasn't that bad. She did try on a huge rings that was 29,000 dollars. Gil joked that shed be waiting until "2029" to get married if she picked that one.

[eveandadam]

Do you guys think that Carlin is really going through with this wedding?

[just_ordinary]

52 minutes ago, eveandadam said:

Do you guys think that Carlin is really going through with this wedding?

Well, I said that I don’t see Evan going through with it. But now that they are actually engaged I don’t see one of them dropping out. I do wonder sometimes if she pulled a stunt like kissing (highly unlikely, I know) or talking about how she gave away all her heart pieces to force her parents permission and make it kind of impossible for him to get away. Or maybe they have just found the right (aka the first) person. They seem to match well personality wise and have lots of room to grow together (wow- I am not often that diplomatically with my words).

Edited January 13, 2019 by just_ordinary

[Kangaroo]

Personally, I think it would take some sort of unprecedented scandal for them not to get married at this point. I

I think they like to spend a lot of time together just doing things. Going out to eat, mini golf etc. Everything but physical intimacy. It's the closest thing to freedom they both have and it's comfortable. You spend all day with you boyfriend, you don't have other responsibilities like a job or kids to go back to so it's all fun and games.

I think they're also in love with the idea of being married. A wedding sounds fun because it means everyone puts all their attention on them, and then they get to join the married club all their friends are in. Living together and having kids sounds great because all their married friends say it's great. They can have physical intimacy. 

My problem is what happens when a few years down the line. Say they've got 3 under 3 and another on the way. Evan's got to work all day to support the kids. Carlin's trying to be the Instagram perfect Christian mother. I think they both like kids and want kids, but it's going to be a massive change.

They don't get to spend time going out anymore. The bursting desire for physical intimacy has worn off. They have similar strong personalities, so I can see them clashing over issues and feeling like they aren't getting enough attention. Their relationship seems like it's about having someone to go out and do things with, rather than two people with common goals and interests who want to spend time together. I've got plenty of male friends I enjoy spending time with, doesn't mean I should marry them.

For some reason compared to their siblings, they just seem to be missing the maturity. I guess it seems like they're getting married because everyone has said it's the fun and good Christian thing to do, rather than getting married because they want to build a life together.

[nastyhobbitses]

54 minutes ago, Kangaroo said:

Personally, I think it would take some sort of unprecedented scandal for them not to get married at this point. I

I think they like to spend a lot of time together just doing things. Going out to eat, mini golf etc. Everything but physical intimacy. It's the closest thing to freedom they both have and it's comfortable. You spend all day with you boyfriend, you don't have other responsibilities like a job or kids to go back to so it's all fun and games.

I think they're also in love with the idea of being married. A wedding sounds fun because it means everyone puts all their attention on them, and then they get to join the married club all their friends are in. Living together and having kids sounds great because all their married friends say it's great. They can have physical intimacy. 

My problem is what happens when a few years down the line. Say they've got 3 under 3 and another on the way. Evan's got to work all day to support the kids. Carlin's trying to be the Instagram perfect Christian mother. I think they both like kids and want kids, but it's going to be a massive change.

They don't get to spend time going out anymore. The bursting desire for physical intimacy has worn off. They have similar strong personalities, so I can see them clashing over issues and feeling like they aren't getting enough attention. Their relationship seems like it's about having someone to go out and do things with, rather than two people with common goals and interests who want to spend time together. I've got plenty of male friends I enjoy spending time with, doesn't mean I should marry them.

For some reason compared to their siblings, they just seem to be missing the maturity. I guess it seems like they're getting married because everyone has said it's the fun and good Christian thing to do, rather than getting married because they want to build a life together.

I think they are in love and can see themselves being together forever (not that they'd have many alternatives, what with the whole "giving away pieces of your heart" horseshit that I think drives people into using Sunk Cost Fallacy as a reason to stay in a clearly incompatible, unhealthy, or unsustainable relationship in Fundie Land and in real life), but they do seem to want a wedding more than a marriage.

A friend of mine was talking about how when she was my age (mid-late twenties), she was on the Wedding Circuit and felt like she was going to friends' weddings every weekend, but now in her thirties, she's getting invites to Divorce Finalization Drinks, often from the people whose weddings she attended just a few years ago. She and I decided that instead of getting married, young people should just throw really big blowout 25th birthday parties on the scale of a wedding, so they get what they actually want: a really big party where they get nice things and attention. 

[formergothardite]

While they do act incredible annoying, they have been together for a good bit of time. IMO they might have a better chance of a happy marriage full of annoying selfies than some of the other Bates children. These two do actually seem well matched. 

[Belugaloo]

4 hours ago, formergothardite said:

While they do act incredible annoying, they have been together for a good bit of time. IMO they might have a better chance of a happy marriage full of annoying selfies than some of the other Bates children. These two do actually seem well matched. 

I agree. I do think most people who claim they are an awful match aren't really thinking through their reasoning. People keep saying this because of their personalities- both of them are very self centered and love the spotlight. That makes them annoying, yes. But it also makes them a great match in terms of their relationship. They have similar interests and seem to understand each others self centered ways! They've been together a very long time and will have a long engagement! Annoying people you probably wouldn't enjoy being friends with, yes. However, they also (imo) have a decent chance at a long happy marriage.

[nausicaa]

30 minutes ago, Belugaloo said:

I agree. I do think most people who claim they are an awful match aren't really thinking through their reasoning. People keep saying this because of their personalities- both of them are very self centered and love the spotlight. That makes them annoying, yes. But it also makes them a great match in terms of their relationship. They have similar interests and seem to understand each others self centered ways! They've been together a very long time and will have a long engagement! Annoying people you probably wouldn't enjoy being friends with, yes. However, they also (imo) have a decent chance at a long happy marriage.

I think they are well-matched in some ways--both of them loving the spotlight and putting everything on social media works (even if it is annoying to everyone around them). If Carlin were with a very private, reserved man there would be tension.  I also agree they have similar interests and probably lifestyles.

However, I think some of their similarities will cause problems. They're like two flowers without a gardener. Who's going to clean up all the baby puke while they are posing for Insta photos? Who is going to put their foot down and say they have to cut back on eyebrow waxing so they can save some money for a house? I just don't see these two doing all that well after a few years. Mostly because they are both very immature and impractical. Not because they are a bad match necessarily.

Edited January 13, 2019 by nausicaa

[RosyDaisy]

Of all the famous fundie couples, Carlin an Evan seem to be the best matched. It would take a major scandal or death to keep them from getting married. My question is if they live in Nashville, will that scale back their screen time? I hope so.

[Screamapillar]

4 hours ago, nausicaa said:

Who is going to put their foot down and say they have to cut back on eyebrow waxing so they can save some money for a house? 

This gave me one of the biggest laughs I've ever had on FJ. ?

Yeah, I think they're pretty well matched as partners. But I think they are both equally ill suited to deal with life challenges that face adults. They both seem more immature than the average person in their early twenties. 

[Dandruff]

I find them both obnoxious, especially her.  I can imagine her being a manipulative PITA if she doesn't get her way.

[nastyhobbitses]

2 hours ago, Screamapillar said:

This gave me one of the biggest laughs I've ever had on FJ. ?

Yeah, I think they're pretty well matched as partners. But I think they are both equally ill suited to deal with life challenges that face adults. They both seem more immature than the average person in their early twenties. 

Going off of my "wedding, not a marriage" comment, I think that they'll be excited to perform the milestones of adulthood, but will struggle with the stuff beneath the glossy veneer of gender reveal photoshoots, gift showers, et cetera. And either it's gonna be Jill and Derick (be basically completely unable to adapt, become horribly dysfunctional) or Ben and Jessa (actually end up thriving as insta-adults and turning out to be among the more happy and functional families). For their sake I hope it's like Ben and Jessa for them. 

[TeaELSee]

I think Carlin and Evan are much more suited to each other than Tori and Bobby are.

[BookwormExtraordinaire]

Carlin, for all her silliness and immaturity, is a breath of fresh air in the fundie world. Meek and submissive are not words I’d use to describe her, and I doubt Evan would’ve stayed around for this long if he didn’t like that part of her personality. 

From what I’ve seen of Evan, which admittedly is not very much, he doesn’t give me any bad vibes, (you know, apart from the standard pro-Trump, anti-gay, anti-abortion stuff). It’s very much possible that he’s not right for Carlin anyways and that their marriage will crash and burn, but he doesn’t strike me as a controlling jerk unlike some other Duggar and Bates husbands.

 

[AussieKrissy]

1 hour ago, BookwormExtraordinaire said:

Carlin, for all her silliness and immaturity, is a breath of fresh air in the fundie world. Meek and submissive are not words I’d use to describe her, and I doubt Evan would’ve stayed around for this long if he didn’t like that part of her personality. 

From what I’ve seen of Evan, which admittedly is not very much, he doesn’t give me any bad vibes, (you know, apart from the standard pro-Trump, anti-gay, anti-abortion stuff). It’s very much possible that he’s not right for Carlin anyways and that their marriage will crash and burn, but he doesn’t strike me as a controlling jerk unlike some other Duggar and Bates husbands.

 

As much as I loathe these two, I have to agree with you. I still get stabby when I see them though....

[Anna Bolinas]

3 hours ago, BookwormExtraordinaire said:

Carlin, for all her silliness and immaturity, is a breath of fresh air in the fundie world. Meek and submissive are not words I’d use to describe her, and I doubt Evan would’ve stayed around for this long if he didn’t like that part of her personality. 

 

I don't even watch the Bates, but from what I've read on these threads when I was still lurking/before I had an account, I agree with this. Carlin would probably drive me absolutely batty if I actually knew her, but I kind of love how she acts like a relatively normal teenage/young adult, like the girls I remember from when I did high school theater. 

[JordynDarby5]

On ‎1‎/‎13‎/‎2019 at 3:49 PM, nausicaa said:

I think they are well-matched in some ways--both of them loving the spotlight and putting everything on social media works (even if it is annoying to everyone around them). If Carlin were with a very private, reserved man there would be tension.  I also agree they have similar interests and probably lifestyles.

However, I think some of their similarities will cause problems. They're like two flowers without a gardener. Who's going to clean up all the baby puke while they are posing for Insta photos? Who is going to put their foot down and say they have to cut back on eyebrow waxing so they can save some money for a house? I just don't see these two doing all that well after a few years. Mostly because they are both very immature and impractical. Not because they are a bad match necessarily.

This is how I see them. I see the two having fun together, taking selfies and other fun stuff. But are they going to be able to handle the day to day parts of being married? Saving money, cleaning up baby puke? Neither seem like they'd be the one to step and get that done. In the regular world that's not really much of a problem. Their young they don't have to have kids right away. They could easily take birth control pills and hold that off until their older and ready for that kind of responsibility or even realize they never are or don't want to be. They'd work but blow their money on concerts, parties, and stuff. Nothing wrong with that. Lots of couples do that. But in Fundie world their going to be married and could easily have a baby nine months later. Is Carlin going to cut back on her spending to save money for an upcoming baby? Is Evan going to? They seem most likely to blow all their money. Its really too bad they seem like they'd be happy to be together and have fun for a few years or longer but are brought up not to think that's an option. 

[formergothardite]

On 1/14/2019 at 12:15 PM, TeaELSee said:

I think Carlin and Evan are much more suited to each other than Tori and Bobby are.

I think they are probably better matched than Josie and Kelton and have a more stable relationship starting a marriage than those two do. For all their over the top selfies they have spent a lot of time together and seem to know each other pretty well. Evan doesn't come off like a control freak and Carlin doesn't seem even slightly submissive. 

They may crash and burn, but I have a feeling they will probably be just fine. There will be an adjustment period but I think they will make it through and document it all in annoying pictures. 

[lexiloumarie]

22 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

I think they are probably better matched than Josie and Kelton and have a more stable relationship starting a marriage than those two do. For all their over the top selfies they have spent a lot of time together and seem to know each other pretty well. Evan doesn't come off like a control freak and Carlin doesn't seem even slightly submissive. 

They may crash and burn, but I have a feeling they will probably be just fine. There will be an adjustment period but I think they will make it through and document it all in annoying pictures. 

I was going to say the same thing about her bff Joy and Austin. They seem to be finding their footing but you could see in the last season of counting on that after marriage took some adjustment. At least these two have taken their time and not rushed. I thought the same thing for Michaela and Brandon - at least it wasn't rushed. 

[fluffernutter]

They will probably be fine. That doesn't make them any more tolerable. They are like nails on a chalkboard. 

[scoutsadie]

On 1/11/2019 at 12:03 PM, singsingsing said:

I also live in a bizarre geographical location where up is down and left is right.

@singsingsing, I respect your right to privacy, and understand if you don't want to be more specific about where you live, but I'm really curious about what you mean by this...

[singsingsing]

11 hours ago, scoutsadie said:

@singsingsing, I respect your right to privacy, and understand if you don't want to be more specific about where you live, but I'm really curious about what you mean by this...

I live south of the United States, in Canada. 

[catlady]

9 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

I live south of the United States, in Canada. 

I live east of Canada, in the US!  ??