Carlin & Evan 4: In Case Anyone Forgot, Carlin Is ENGAGED Y'all

[bal maiden]

Why the fuck do we need photos of them drinking in Starbucks? Oh so candid and unposed ? "Please, [chaperone], take a picture of us laughing with our iced coffees!". 

[CarrotCake]

What will they do once they are married? 

Will they still take chaperones to their dates to take the photo's? 

Or maybe they will buy a tripod and use the self timer ?

[Lurky]

I keep thinking about the video recap, of Gil bragging about how insecure and worthless Carlin felt as a little girl, who she kept trying to preach to her siblings, and was fasting and trying so hard to be good enough, but her parents never even noticed she was hurting so much.  No wonder she's turned to social media for validation, because she never got it at home!  I just hope Evan is a kind, good man, who will help her relax and love herself, and grow and change if she wants to/can.   I loathe how Fundies do this to their daughters, and I hope she can break the cycle if she has her own kids.

[fluffernutter]

On 3/21/2019 at 10:34 AM, CarrotCake said:

What will they do once they are married? 

Will they still take chaperones to their dates to take the photo's? 

Or maybe they will buy a tripod and use the self timer ?

These two probably have a selfie stick on their wedding registry ??

[nokidsmom]

On 3/21/2019 at 1:20 PM, Lurky said:

I keep thinking about the video recap, of Gil bragging about how insecure and worthless Carlin felt as a little girl

Every time I find myself annoyed with Carlin, I stop and think about who her parents are.   That her own father finds his daughter's insecurity and feelings of worthlessness as "bragworthy" is astounding. 

The Bateseseses kids drew the short straw in the parent lottery as do a lot of the fundie kids we discuss here.   But they are all trained to think otherwise.  I am waiting for the day that just one Bateseseses kid realizes how shitty his/her parents really are.   There's 19 opportunities for that to happen in the next decades.  

[backyard sylph]

I expect it already has, only they keep quiet because they know which side of the bread is buttered, plus, they love their family anyway. And depending on that person, they might never say anything publicly, just sort of drift in their own direction as circumstances allow. People do that all the time for other reasons, after all.

Secondarily, there's a type of denial sometimes. Many formerly church-going people work hard to maintain their label because it's scary to remove it; like stripping away some of your identity. I've watched it happen like stages of grief, and they can take years.

[Vivi_music]

3 hours ago, backyard sylph said:

I expect it already has, only they keep quiet because they know which side of the bread is buttered, plus, they love their family anyway. And depending on that person, they might never say anything publicly, just sort of drift in their own direction as circumstances allow. People do that all the time for other reasons, after all.

Haven't we seen Zach do a few snark commenst regarding his parents recently? I don't watch BUB but it was reported on here that he kind of questionned his parents' stand on courting, and other things they preached but never put in practice. It was said in a jab but with some truth in it too. I don't know if I am recalling correctly.

I think you are right that some of the adult kids might slowly realize with time the non-sense their parent's were spouting, and make some small changes in the way they raise their family. But it will take time to have one publicly denounce the way they were raised or go openly against their parents. Like you said... which side the bread is buttered. Being reality-tv fundies bring them a level of comfort economically, a platform to be heard, support from leg-humping fans, opportunities to experience stuff they might never have done otherwise, etc.

[JordynDarby5]

1 hour ago, Vivi_music said:

Haven't we seen Zach do a few snark commenst regarding his parents recently? I don't watch BUB but it was reported on here that he kind of questionned his parents' stand on courting, and other things they preached but never put in practice. It was said in a jab but with some truth in it too. I don't know if I am recalling correctly.

I think you are right that some of the adult kids might slowly realize with time the non-sense their parent's were spouting, and make some small changes in the way they raise their family. But it will take time to have one publicly denounce the way they were raised or go openly against their parents. Like you said... which side the bread is buttered. Being reality-tv fundies bring them a level of comfort economically, a platform to be heard, support from leg-humping fans, opportunities to experience stuff they might never have done otherwise, etc.

He asked his parents about their dating when Gil and Kelly were training the new chaperones which they didn't answer. He also pretended he was about to make out with Whitney when they were either pretending to be a courting couple or was asked what to do on a date. Gil came out of his seat on that one.

[nokidsmom]

On 3/25/2019 at 10:18 PM, JordynDarby5 said:

He asked his parents about their dating when Gil and Kelly were training the new chaperones which they didn't answer. He also pretended he was about to make out with Whitney when they were either pretending to be a courting couple or was asked what to do on a date. Gil came out of his seat on that one.

If there's one kid will challenge Gil and Kelly on their dating and courtship rules, it's Zach.  He bore the brunt of their disastrous first try at courtship, and obviously avoided their "rules" with Whitney as much as possible.   

ETA: there's been some other occasions where Zach has openly challenged his parents.   But if there's one topic where Zach can really get them, it's on dating and courting.   I always felt that poor Zach was just led on by idea that if he followed the rules, it would work out for him and it didn't.   He did things more on his own terms the next time around which was telling

 

Edited March 27, 2019 by nokidsmom

[fundiefun]

On 3/27/2019 at 11:04 AM, nokidsmom said:

If there's one kid will challenge Gil and Kelly on their dating and courtship rules, it's Zach.  He bore the brunt of their disastrous first try at courtship, and obviously avoided their "rules" with Whitney as much as possible.   

ETA: there's been some other occasions where Zach has openly challenged his parents.   But if there's one topic where Zach can really get them, it's on dating and courting.   I always felt that poor Zach was just led on by idea that if he followed the rules, it would work out for him and it didn't.   He did things more on his own terms the next time around which was telling

 

I think we have seen many fundies get a sobering taste of reality when courtship doesn't pan out like advertised. I wonder if seeing their friends the Duggars scandals and fall outs and then Zach's experience gave them a little wakeup call.

[JordynDarby5]

1 hour ago, fundiefun said:

I think we have seen many fundies get a sobering taste of reality when courtship doesn't pan out like advertised. I wonder if seeing their friends the Duggars scandals and fall outs and then Zach's experience gave them a little wakeup call.

I don't know. I think it all started with his failed courtship. Zach followed all the rules his parents said. He courted the way he was suppose to. The way his parents insisted and told him that was the right way to go. This was suppose to be right and what God wanted. But the courtship failed. But the courtship isn't suppose to fail. He had been told that. But it did. He was told the courtship model was so he wouldn't get hurt. But he did get hurt. He was hurt very badly from it. It took him awhile to recover from that. It was all his parents' fault. I think that was what started it all. They had been wrong and in such a big way that left him hurt. The second was meeting Whitney. Just so randomly by going to Sonic, meeting, talking and him going back to Sonic a lot to keep seeing her. He met her, he liked her, he insisted on courting her, and he wouldn't change his mind even with Kelly trying to find another fundie girl for him. Gil and Kelly had to give in even though they still went with all the rules and chaperones and stuff. But he still met her in one of the most normal ways, and it worked out. None of the "bad" stuff that he'd been told all his life would happen to him if he did something the heathens did happened. Since then he and Whitney have made more decisions he went to the police academy, she got her realtor's license, they bought a house and did a lot of the work in it. He's gotten more bolder with his comments regarding his parents. The first season of BUB it was Winnie the Pooh and this current season (last season) asking Gil and Kelly about their dating. 

[singsingsing]

Kelly Bates definitely said that they changed some of their ideas about courtship specifically because of Zach's experience.

[fundiefun]

38 minutes ago, JordynDarby5 said:

I don't know. I think it all started with his failed courtship. Zach followed all the rules his parents said. He courted the way he was suppose to. The way his parents insisted and told him that was the right way to go. This was suppose to be right and what God wanted. But the courtship failed. But the courtship isn't suppose to fail. He had been told that. But it did. He was told the courtship model was so he wouldn't get hurt. But he did get hurt. He was hurt very badly from it. It took him awhile to recover from that. It was all his parents' fault. I think that was what started it all. They had been wrong and in such a big way that left him hurt. The second was meeting Whitney. Just so randomly by going to Sonic, meeting, talking and him going back to Sonic a lot to keep seeing her. He met her, he liked her, he insisted on courting her, and he wouldn't change his mind even with Kelly trying to find another fundie girl for him. Gil and Kelly had to give in even though they still went with all the rules and chaperones and stuff. But he still met her in one of the most normal ways, and it worked out. None of the "bad" stuff that he'd been told all his life would happen to him if he did something the heathens did happened. Since then he and Whitney have made more decisions he went to the police academy, she got her realtor's license, they bought a house and did a lot of the work in it. He's gotten more bolder with his comments regarding his parents. The first season of BUB it was Winnie the Pooh and this current season (last season) asking Gil and Kelly about their dating. 

What I wouldn't give to pick Zach's brain or some of these fundie kids now out of the nest and working in secular positions like Josie on reality vs expectations. I often think of Anna who played by the rules and look who she got paired off with the worst of the worst.

[kmachete14]

I thought it was interesting when Zach was talking about criminals and making a distinction between "honest criminals" who want to be left alone and do recreational drugs vs. "real criminals" who violently rob people. 

I'm a positive person and I'm gonna assume he meant smoke marijuana (not shoot up heroin). 

Anyways, that line of thinking is very different than most fundie black/white thinking. 

[Tenyari]

Speaking of Zach's failed courtship, Sarah Reith is about to be married, next month I believe. She seems so happy. I am really glad things turned out well for her.

[VBOY9977]

Pet peeve: when people say “apart” instead of “a part” or just “part”.

do they not realize they’re actually saying the opposite of what they mean? ??

[HarleyQuinn]

That's like "alot" being a word. (I even had a teacher that wrote it that way in school)

[Hisey]

On 3/28/2019 at 11:48 AM, JordynDarby5 said:

I don't know. I think it all started with his failed courtship. Zach followed all the rules his parents said. He courted the way he was suppose to. The way his parents insisted and told him that was the right way to go. This was suppose to be right and what God wanted. But the courtship failed. But the courtship isn't suppose to fail. He had been told that. But it did. He was told the courtship model was so he wouldn't get hurt. But he did get hurt. He was hurt very badly from it. It took him awhile to recover from that. It was all his parents' fault. I think that was what started it all. They had been wrong and in such a big way that left him hurt. The second was meeting Whitney. Just so randomly by going to Sonic, meeting, talking and him going back to Sonic a lot to keep seeing her. He met her, he liked her, he insisted on courting her, and he wouldn't change his mind even with Kelly trying to find another fundie girl for him. Gil and Kelly had to give in even though they still went with all the rules and chaperones and stuff. But he still met her in one of the most normal ways, and it worked out. None of the "bad" stuff that he'd been told all his life would happen to him if he did something the heathens did happened. Since then he and Whitney have made more decisions he went to the police academy, she got her realtor's license, they bought a house and did a lot of the work in it. He's gotten more bolder with his comments regarding his parents. The first season of BUB it was Winnie the Pooh and this current season (last season) asking Gil and Kelly about their dating. 

Zach is doing a great job of making his own choices yet still being connected to his parents. Of course, his parents help make this possible (by not rejecting him for doing so). Of course, we don't k now what happens behind the scenes ("Zach, why did you say that about when Dad and I were dating!") But I agree that the failed courtship made him learn to think for himself.

I think it's inevitable that this will happen to other second-generation children. Kelly Crawford's kids will wonder why God blew their house away in a tornado, if they were doing everything right and following all the rules. Solomon Anderson may wonder why his engagement was called off when he did most of what his parents wanted him to do. An unvaccinated child may get sick or even die, and the siblings are left wondering whether vaccines are really all that bad. 

The "train wreck" style of living (relying on organic butter instead of medical treatment) is doomed to fail at least some families, and will eventually lead to some kids pulling away from this type of rigid thinking.

[ophelia]

Can relying on organic butter pleeeease become a count title??

[nastyhobbitses]

On 3/28/2019 at 10:48 PM, kmachete14 said:

I thought it was interesting when Zach was talking about criminals and making a distinction between "honest criminals" who want to be left alone and do recreational drugs vs. "real criminals" who violently rob people. 

I'm a positive person and I'm gonna assume he meant smoke marijuana (not shoot up heroin). 

Anyways, that line of thinking is very different than most fundie black/white thinking. 

I take a dim view of fundies in law enforcement, but this does give me a little hope that Zach has a relative amount of nuance in his views of his job and society, and maybe with time will take the view that drug users really shouldn't be in the purview of law enforcement unless they're in danger or committing another crime and happen to be on drugs at the time (or committing the crime to get drugs). I won't hold my breath for him to advocate for decriminalization/legalization/harm reduction, but the fact that he understands that people doing drugs aren't as much of a threat or a priority as people who are committing violent crimes is surpassing the very low bar I have set. 

[NoKidsAndCounting]

Maybe Zach has met someone who suffers chronic pain and is using marijuana for pain relief?  He might have a more sympathetic view if he met someone in that situation.  I hope so.  I am guessing he's met all kinds of "different" people in the course of his law enforcement career, and his views may slowly change over time.  I mean, we're all different.  Everyone has a story.

[HereticHick]

Carlin needs to do something outrageous. Or have a bridezilla meltdown.  She's being overshadowed with Josie's baby and Tori and  Michaela's move back to TN. I am on the verge of forgetting she's engaged, y'all.

 

[Calypso]

Holy crap the photo they put in the invitations is SO BLURRY. Its giving me a headache just trying to look at it.

[Tangy Bee]

20 hours ago, nastyhobbitses said:

I take a dim view of fundies in law enforcement, but this does give me a little hope that Zach has a relative amount of nuance in his views of his job and society, and maybe with time will take the view that drug users really shouldn't be in the purview of law enforcement unless they're in danger or committing another crime and happen to be on drugs at the time (or committing the crime to get drugs). I won't hold my breath for him to advocate for decriminalization/legalization/harm reduction, but the fact that he understands that people doing drugs aren't as much of a threat or a priority as people who are committing violent crimes is surpassing the very low bar I have set. 

Fundie Marines on this end. Vision Forum, southern Baptist types, or just extremely conservative. Some marrying in late teens. The military is so diverse. It's amazing they probably "force" themselves to be tolerent of others.

[Audrey2]

@HereticHick, you wanted Carlin to do something to get attention. This might not have been as attention getting as you thought, but we're talking about the invitation.

As to the invitation, were they trying to go Impressionist? Or just the way I see things in the morning without my glasses?