Carlin & Evan 4: In Case Anyone Forgot, Carlin Is ENGAGED Y'all

[HerNameIsBuffy]

Continued from...

Title thanks to @Calypso

[VelociRapture]

@singsingsing I want to say that they’ve recently mentioned that Carlin teaches music lessons. I don’t remember where they said that, though I want to say it was on Facebook Live. If she’s been doing that a while and she’s been saving then that could be where she got the money from. 

[Casserole]

Didn't the previously say they paid Tori to homeschool? its likely carlin took over that job/money, too. 

[Calypso]

Omg I'm so honored to have my quote chosen for the thread title

#blessed #jesuslovesthemall

[TheRadleyPorch]

I will never, ever get tired of #jesuslovesthemall. 

[CaptainFunderpants]

Regarding the allegedly tacky coffee cup... I'm almost 30 and when I get engaged, I want that cup. While I haven't been planning my wedding since I was little, I have been dreaming about my marriage and my forever teammate since I was little.

TBH, I'll probably end up ordering that cup myself with zero shame ? 

I feel like a lot of posters here aren't girly girls and it leads to frequent clap-backs toward anything seen as girly, which honestly isn't cool. Get off your high horse about Alyssa's daily make-up, Carlin's love of selfies, and Josie liking to be pinterestly perfect -every time you do that, it's not fundie snark: it's females treating other females as lesser for being feminine and it shouldn't be seen as acceptable. Girly girls are great. Tomboys are great. Women that are in the middle are great. Diversity is great!* /End rant.

*Except as it comes to intolerant beliefs. That whole paradox of tolerance thing.

 

[singsingsing]

1 minute ago, CaptainFunderpants said:

I feel like a lot of posters here aren't girly girls and it leads to frequent clap-backs toward anything seen as girly, which honestly isn't cool. Get off your high horse about Alyssa's daily make-up, Carlin's love of selfies, and Josie liking to be pinterestly perfect -every time you do that, it's not fundie snark: it's females treating other females as lesser for being feminine and it shouldn't be seen as acceptable. Girly girls are great. Tomboys are great. Women that are in the middle are great. Diversity is great!* /End rant.

Are those things specifically feminine/girly? The daily makeup I get, but the frequent selfies and wanting everything to be pinterestly perfect seems to be a common theme with both female and male Bateses and they seem to be snarked on for it fairly equally.

[CaptainFunderpants]

Just now, singsingsing said:

Are those things specifically feminine/girly? The daily makeup I get, but the frequent selfies and wanting everything to be pinterestly perfect seems to be a common theme with both female and male Bateses and they seem to be snarked on for it fairly equally.

Lawson is an exception and Evan comes off as very feminine, regardless.

The other males I don't feel express it as much and I don't feel like they've been infantilized as much. They're also given other things to care about. Social media/make-up/pinterest are some of the only acceptable female hobbies in fundie land and so that's what they're into. Big. Whoop.

That said, I do think some of it is the age range and not the gender.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

47 minutes ago, CaptainFunderpants said:

Regarding the allegedly tacky coffee cup... I'm almost 30 and when I get engaged, I want that cup. While I haven't been planning my wedding since I was little, I have been dreaming about my marriage and my forever teammate since I was little.

TBH, I'll probably end up ordering that cup myself with zero shame ? 

I feel like a lot of posters here aren't girly girls and it leads to frequent clap-backs toward anything seen as girly, which honestly isn't cool. Get off your high horse about Alyssa's daily make-up, Carlin's love of selfies, and Josie liking to be pinterestly perfect -every time you do that, it's not fundie snark: it's females treating other females as lesser for being feminine and it shouldn't be seen as acceptable. Girly girls are great. Tomboys are great. Women that are in the middle are great. Diversity is great!* /End rant.

*Except as it comes to intolerant beliefs. That whole paradox of tolerance thing.

 

I don't think anyone here has a problem with any of those. things or being 'girly.'

I think the problem is when that's all they seem to be whilst professing to be oh so modest and selling the world on living with a purpose for the Lord , or whatever .

personally I love Hello Kitty and all manner of twee, all things pink or shiny, and own 15 tiaras.  ask @Destiny and @Curious how many selfies of my silly face they've been subjected to and I have never felt marginalized here.

it's not anti feminine around here , its anti hypocrisy .

[singsingsing]

21 minutes ago, CaptainFunderpants said:

Evan comes off as very feminine, regardless.

? In what way? You seem to have really strict definitions of what 'feminine' and 'masculine' mean, or maybe it's just me - I've always found the concept of highly defined gender roles difficult to understand.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

29 minutes ago, CaptainFunderpants said:

Evan comes off as very feminine, regardless.

are you talking about that pic where he looked to be in full makeup when Kade was born?  that was a filter.

[HereticHick]

I snark on selfie-lovie Bates for being vain, shallow and self-centered. Not for being "feminine"

[singsingsing]

1 hour ago, HereticHick said:

I snark on selfie-lovie Bates for being vain, shallow and self-centered. Not for being "feminine"

Yeah, this kind of rubbed me the wrong way. Vanity, superficiality, and the hypocrisy of preaching modesty and frugality while flaunting the exact opposite are specifically feminine qualities...?

[Lurky]

1 hour ago, singsingsing said:

Yeah, this kind of rubbed me the wrong way. Vanity, superficiality, and the hypocrisy of preaching modesty and frugality while flaunting the exact opposite are specifically feminine qualities...?

It's especially weird in the context of handslapping for people treating "girly" women badly.  It's just plain insulting.  I get that fundies have weird, narrow definitions of masculine, but it's a shame to see this kind of judgmental idea from a FJer. 

Also genuinely don't understand the idea that it's only the Bates women who get criticised, because Kelton gets far more for being Fundy Zoolander than Josie gets for her selfies/love of fashion, and Lawson's thread is 80% mocking him for his pinterest-perfect selfies and vanity. 

 

[VelociRapture]

40 minutes ago, Lurky said:

It's especially weird in the context of handslapping for people treating "girly" women badly.  It's just plain insulting.  I get that fundies have weird, narrow definitions of masculine, but it's a shame to see this kind of judgmental idea from a FJer. 

Also genuinely don't understand the idea that it's only the Bates women who get criticised, because Kelton gets far more for being Fundy Zoolander than Josie gets for her selfies/love of fashion, and Lawson's thread is 80% mocking him for his pinterest-perfect selfies and vanity. 

 

I think you mean Evan, not Kelton. 

I understand a bit why some posters get upset when certain interests or behaviors are criticized or debated. Sometimes we aren’t always as clear in our posts as we’d like to be and that can lead to miscommunication. It seems like a lot of posters are pretty good at clarifying their comments when needed, which is good. 

But people need to keep in mind that the families we are discussing here are not normal people simply attempting to live their lives - they are religious fundamentalists with reality shows who hold hateful beliefs and would love nothing more than to force through legislation that would make everyone in this country abide by their beliefs. I personally have no issue with someone liking makeup or fashion. Those aren’t big areas of interest for me, but I think it’s cool that other people are genuinely into that stuff. I do, however, have a massive problem with someone believing that makeup and fashion should only be enjoyed by biological females and that biological females must look a very specific way. I think it’s absolutely valid to question and comment on whether these young Fundies really enjoy getting dressed up or if they feel like it’s something they have to do because of the beliefs they hold and were raised with. And I also think it’s perfectly valid to question whether they’re passing those same beliefs down to the next generation as well. 

So, basically, people should be as clear as possible about the fact that they’re commenting specifically on Fundie beliefs and try to avoid making generalized statements... but people should also remember that if you aren't Fundie then the comments made here (about most topics) probably aren’t being directed towards you. 

Edited December 29, 2018 by VelociRapture

[AliceInFundyland]

I hate the mug because to me it embodies the worst part of fundie culture. She had to get married to get out.  Whatever the good parts of Carlin are, we’ve characterized her as this fundie Bridezilla. She isn’t helping that image at all. The whole thing makes me depressed.

I do like sparkly rings. I am also opposed to displays of material goods. That’s me though.

In another context it might be completely hilarious. 

[JordynDarby5]

On 12/28/2018 at 6:43 PM, singsingsing said:

? In what way? You seem to have really strict definitions of what 'feminine' and 'masculine' mean, or maybe it's just me - I've always found the concept of highly defined gender roles difficult to understand.

I'm confused by that too. If all women are great. Then why is it not great that Evan is too feminine? Men can't be feminine? They always have to be muscular and manly? Its ridiculous. 

[VelociRapture]

I will say this about Carlin and Evan:

I would probably hate living with them both, but I actually kind of like the fact that Carlin is loud and obnoxious and I like that Evan isn’t a stereotypical manly man too. It’s almost refreshing when you consider that these women were raised to be meek pieces of arm candy who long to marry manly men who will lead the family. I appreciate the fact that Evan seems to like her because of the qualities that make Carlin who she is and vice versa. I wish they weren’t Fundamentalist jerks and I won’t be surprised if (when) they remain Fundies, but it’s nice to see a young couple connected to this movement who don’t fit the expected gender norms for behavior or appearance perfectly. 

I know a lot of people have low expectations for CarVan, but I’m not so sure about that to be honest. I think they might have a rude awakening once the kids begin to arrive, but that’s pretty normal to be honest. Even couples who have tons of childcare experience can be taken aback by just how hard parenting is once that first kid arrives - being entirely responsible for a very small human is a game changer. We really only have a small sample of edited evidence to judge from, but I get the feeling that they may be one of the better matched couples personality wise and they’ve had a longer period of time to get to know each other and plan their wedding than most other Bates/Duggar couples have had. I think they stand a decent chance of doing ok as a couple, even if they experience setbacks or hardships at times. 

[nastyhobbitses]

I'm usually the loudest defender of makeup and all that jazz, but I will snark on Caravan until the end of time because, god love them, they're basically Sharpay and Ryan from High School Musical. 

(Also I may or may not study Carlin's selfies to figure out how she does her eye makeup because goddamn it looks good)

[miss_batson]

Carvan being Carvan ?

 

[Kangaroo]

According to Carlin's latest Instagram post (for Gil's birthday), she's having a father daughter dance at her wedding.

When did dancing become acceptable with the Bates? 

And does this mean they're having a proper reception, with tables and seating and all those fancy things?

[candygirl200413]

So they showed Trace dancing with Nana Bates and Carlin is always twirling in photos with Evan. I think this is the first Bates kid possibly having a first dance.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

5 hours ago, Kangaroo said:

And does this mean they're having a proper reception, with tables and seating and all those fancy things?

In my circles a proper reception needs one more thing.

Wake me when a Bates wedding has an open bar.   

[VineHeart137]

Here's the aforementioned post. It's a birthday post for Gil but Carlin manages to smoothly remind everyone that she's getting married.

 

[AliceInFundyland]

Butterfly kisses