Vyckie Garrison - GoFundMe

[fundiefan]

17 hours ago, Aine said:

For an uncontested divorce?

Divorces can cost a tonne, don't get me wrong- but those are usually long term marriages with shared children and an accumulation of wealth and assets when married. She hasn't been married to this dude that long so she is likely not entitled to too much of what he had coming into the marriage, nor should she be. There are no children as the product of the marriage. It should never even have to go to court (presumably)- just file and be out of there after the minimum separation period in your state.

 

It very much depends on state laws. Here, after 120 days, if there is no fighting, you can technically be divorced without a lawyer after that time; you file jointly, submit agreements, wait 4 months and move on. However, it's very seldom that cut & dry. My divorce took 2 years. We were married 12 years. No kids. A house. Some assets, but not a ton and none I was fighting for.  I agreed to walk away with next to nothing. The judge wouldn't sign off on it, saying I was entitled to more than I was asking and it wasn't fair. I then had to hire a lawyer, and none would take it on contingency; I had to pay a retainer.

They've only been married about a year & 1/2. With no mutual kids, it should technically be easier, but supposedly they have a house in Oregon. If both their names are on it, it's an asset and if there is no agreement about selling/buying out, they could wind up in court. 

The big "but" in her case is - she doesn't need to resolve those issues to get out. If he is abusive and she needs to leave for safety, she can do so at any time and file afterwards. I just find it very odd that she has a gofundme for almost 10k just to leave. It ain't cheap, but she also supposedly has a network of friends & contacts - - is there really no one in her anti-quiverfull/atheist circles who can help her get out so she can proceed in safety? 

[Coconut Flan]

1 minute ago, fundiefan said:

The judge wouldn't sign off on it, saying I was entitled to more than I was asking and it wasn't fair. I then had to hire a lawyer, and none would take it on contingency; I had to pay a retainer.

I'm not sure divorces can be done on a contingency basis.  All I've known about are on a retainer and/or pay as you go basis.  I have doubts a contingency arrangement would be considered ethical. 

[fundiefan]

Just now, Coconut Flan said:

I'm not sure divorces can be done on a contingency basis.  All I've known about are on a retainer and/or pay as you go basis.  I have doubts a contingency arrangement would be considered ethical. 

I would imagine if you are a multi-millionaire getting a divorce and are expected to come away with millions, they'd do it because that's a big chunk. But for the average person, even an expensive divorce (in our non millionaire world) doesn't net enough for the lawyer to take the chance on a percentage. 

[Coconut Flan]

Er, no.  My daughter happens to be a family law specialist in LA handling divorces of the rich and famous.  She bills all the clients for hours worked.  I could text her and ask if it's even legal to do it on a contingency.  

ETA:  Contingency arrangements are not allowed for divorces in California.  

[fundiefan]

4 minutes ago, Coconut Flan said:

Er, no.  My daughter happens to be a family law specialist in LA handling divorces of the rich and famous.  She bills all the clients for hours worked.  I could text her and ask if it's even legal to do it on a contingency.  

ETA:  Contingency arrangements are not allowed for divorces in California.  

Interesting. And, makes sense.

[Coconut Flan]

She later added with a touch of sarcasm, "Let me take an interest in your depleting assets..."

[DarkAnts]

I think she is going after money like spousal support. It’s all about money and attention for her.

[Aine]

19 minutes ago, DarkAnts said:

I think she is going after money like spousal support. It’s all about money and attention for her.

I am fairly strongly against people getting spousal support unless they can show that due to the marriage, their ability to earn an income was diminished or taken away such as being the stay at home mom of shared children that took her away from the workforce and also not keep up with the skills and experience required to re-enter the workforce and if they can re-enter the workforce, what the difference in salary would approximately be if they had never left. The other factor would be (minus children) if he convinced her to be a stay-home wife for a time, abusively for control or not abusively and because he promised to support her financially if she made that decision, and then they separated and divorced. Or if he abused her and her physical and/or emotional injuries that came from that abuse required either a pay-out as compensation or were preventing her from working in the future. Seeing as it sounds like she has never made any effort to work besides whatever ad revenue she got from NLQ and her speaking engagements, I'm going to lean more towards the whole idea that marrying someone for two years does not entitle you to their financial support for life.

If she has been abused, then all the power to her. Her very public plea has already ensured that many people who know them will now believe him to be an abuser and she should get some compensation. But if he isn't and is maybe just sick of her narcissistic crap? His name is going to still be associated with people wondering if he did abuse her. No one will care or even know (most likely) if she has no evidence of the abuse due to family court usually being sealed in most states (I think?). Technically, that $9,000, if she gets it- he could make a claim on a chunk of that when she claims it if he can demonstrate that she defamed him. 

I'm not a person to doubt any woman/man/child that claims to be abused. I believe and give them the benefit of the doubt because it is usually true. But Vyckie seems to have a casual relationship with the truth and a solid relationship with sensationalism and the only thing that I maybe hate more than abusers are people that lie about being abused. Not saying she is lying...but the massive GFM, that the GFM was her first option, that she seems to have a very shallow skin when it comes to any kind of criticism etc. It makes me wonder and be more tentative than my usual attitude of, "I'd rather believe and support and be made a fool of than for a vulnerable person ask for help and turn them down and add to their pain."

[nelliebelle1197]

@princessjo1988 didn’t she do something kinda terrible to you or did I make that up?

[Palimpsest]

11 hours ago, nelliebelle1197 said:

@princessjo1988 didn’t she do something kinda terrible to you or did I make that up?

You didn't dream it.  Vyckie treated @princessjo1988 extremely badly.  IMO.  Vyckie is a master manipulator.  PrincessJo has been far more magnanimous and forgiving  towards Vyckie than many could have been. 

To save her having to go all over it again, PrincessJo already recapped the story here.

But when FJ finally exposed Ruth - we were the bad guys. 

And when you look at those old threads, PrincessJo absolutely nailed the huge generational divide within NLQ well in advance.

The younger generation have found safe refuge within Homeschoolers Anonymous, I hope.  NLQ (Vyckie and Calulu) is all about the bitter, hard done by, saintly mothers who may have lead their children into patriarchy, but want to take no responsibility for the harm they have done themselves.  

I'm in support of the younger generation, in case that isn't clear. 

13 hours ago, Aine said:

I'm not a person to doubt any woman/man/child that claims to be abused. I believe and give them the benefit of the doubt because it is usually true. But Vyckie seems to have a casual relationship with the truth and a solid relationship with sensationalism and the only thing that I maybe hate more than abusers are people that lie about being abused. Not saying she is lying...but the massive GFM, that the GFM was her first option, that she seems to have a very shallow skin when it comes to any kind of criticism etc. It makes me wonder and be more tentative than my usual attitude of, "I'd rather believe and support and be made a fool of than for a vulnerable person ask for help and turn them down and add to their pain."

This.  This x 1000.  

Edited December 19, 2018 by Palimpsest

[Lisafer]

2 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

The younger generation have found safe refuge within Homeschoolers Anonymous, I hope.  NLQ (Vyckie and Calulu) is all about the bitter, hard done by, saintly mothers who may have lead their children into patriarchy, but want to take no responsibility for the harm they have done themselves.  

 

This is why I am grateful for people like @refugee who WERE the mothers in this scenario and acknowledge the hurt it caused their children. It's a sort of proxy for the acknowledgement I'll never get from my own parents.

I don't read NLQ anymore; I used to years ago, but it's got that echo-chamber effect. FJ is more diverse. I also did a story for HA, but they're so focused on being a "safe space" for homeschooled people and come down hard on any dissenting comments on FB, to the point where I think they've choked off their own audience. I actually prefer some back-and-forth, questions, and opinions. I can see where it's a good place for some people, but not for me. Which is why I'm here, in the FJ Wild West, where fundies pop in to visit, people sometimes make asses of themselves, and we have illuminating discussions that readjust my perspective!

[Walking Cat Bed]

I stopped reading NLQ around the time that Razing Ruth was revealed to be a fraud and V+Suz were *adamant* that, despite having claimed to have verified her identity, they had no way to know she was a fake. Then they turned on the younger generation (many of whom are in their late 20s and early 30s now) as "whining children" despite they, V+Suz, being responsible for the environment their kids endured. 

And I'll admit that I set up a GFM for myself a few months ago, since after a few months of job-hunting and not having income (and I was trying to get ANYTHING), I was struggling. I'd started my job and had a paycheck on the horizon, but that horizon was far enough away that I still had to figure out how to pay rent and such. And I sent that to family and put it on fb. And I'm planning to pay it all forward to local (and national/international) charities, starting with December's paycheck at the end of the month. And my list includes two local orgs that provide help for domestic violence situations.

So no, V, I'm not giving you money. I'll give money to Safe House so they can provide shelter for people who have escaped abuse with their lives.

[princessjo1988]

That was a rough time for me personally - the old threads pretty much sum it up. Now, I look back with the benefit of time and I'm not going to sugarcoat it - the whole situation feels even more disturbing. I had people attacking me even on my own blog, from all sides. To a young woman dealing with and processing my own crazy family situation, it was immense, to say the least. To the point where I had to cut down on the sites that I was involved with - like FJ. Which in the end, helped me get a much better balance happening in my life.  

I want it 'on record', though, that I wasn't trying to stir up old battles, through this thread. I was just trying to raise awareness and have some discussion over V's current situation. I'm now an ambassador for a local Domestic violence organisation (a story in and of itself), so I do have some empathy if she is in a DV relationship. But still... It is part of a bigger picture and pattern of behaviour. 

Like I said, my only wish for V is that she has a happy, quiet life.  I've personally found far greater fullfillment and joy in helping behind the scenes, then I ever did during my time in the public sphere, and I hope she will get to experience that. There is incredible power to finding your own strength and resolutions to difficult situations. 

 

[Lurky]

On 12/17/2018 at 1:40 AM, Aine said:

Also, if she's in serious danger in the home she is in right now- surely a public Go Fund Me isn't the safest way to get out, at least right now. Leaving is the most dangerous time for a woman and any kids (whether they be step kids to the abuser or bio kids) as they are losing their control and even a 'separation' is seen as a public humiliation of sorts to them and their power is being challenged by the partner they have been abusing. 

This is what I don't understand. The GFM is set up by someone else, who has made it very public that Vyckie trying to leave, but is waiting until she has the cash, which seems really dangerous in an abusive situation.  I hope Vyckie knows about this, and has OKed it, because it could make things so much worse for her. 

I would understand if the GFM was started because V had had to get out in a hurry, and was raising the money to pay off credit card debts/replace things she had to leave/set up a new household etc etc, but this feels really odd - and if I was thinking about donating to V, I'd worry how she'd be able to get the cash without her abusive husband taking it off her. 

[Un1c0rnTears]

Can this post be made private somehow?

[hoipolloi]

28 minutes ago, Un1c0rnTears said:

Can this post be made private somehow?

Hi, @Un1c0rnTears. 

What information here, if any, should be private? If someone has posted something from a non-public source, please let a mod or admin know and we'll deal with it. I reviewed the topic and didn't see anything but could have missed it.

If there is no private information here, then nothing will be done. Please review the FJ TOU and please note this item from our guidelines:

Quote

 

Please remember that the internet is forever, and that includes FJ. If you post something of a personal or embarrassing nature in  the AYTFJ,IMM forum, it will be viewable by anyone with 75 posts. It will be viable to anyone who in the future racks up 75 posts . It is not private, and it is no longer under your control. If you later regret oversharing, you will have to figure out how to deal with it because it will not be deleted.

We do not allow google to crawl private/member only forums.

 

If you have other concerns or wish to communicate privately with anyone, including mods & admins, please use our PM system.

Thanks!

[laPapessaGiovanna]

@Un1c0rnTears If you want to share something for members only I fear you have to post in AreYouThereFreeJinger? Unfortunately you don't have enough posts to access it, 75 posts is the minimum to gain access there.

But maybe @Destinyor @Curious or @HerNameIsBuffy may have a better idea.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

There are some clubs that are closed and can only be seen by members.

Im at work and haven’t scrolled up so idk what the topic is, but you can check if there is a relevant closed club.

[laPapessaGiovanna]

I stand corrected @Destiny says you can post a topic in AYTFJ?, the more private part of the forum as you've been a member for long enough. 

ETA or, as @HerNameIsBuffy said you can look for a club that fits your needs.

Edited January 11, 2019 by laPapessaGiovanna

[HarleyQuinn]

Doesn't Vyckie google her name frequently? Maybe that's why she asked. Because she'll likely see this thread.

@Palimpsest Thanks for the update on Angel. That was a very confusing rabbit hole for me to fall into because so many blogs had been made private and/or removed. I felt like I was missing a lot from where Angel's blog ended, then in that FB page shitstorm I saw her defending her mother again. Glad she was able to step away. 

[Palimpsest]

On 1/11/2019 at 12:03 PM, Un1c0rnTears said:

Can this post be made private somehow?

My honest opinion - not necessarily enough.  Even the "private" parts of FJ could be infiltrated.

But know that you don't have to speak out publicly unless, and until,  you are ready, and that may be never.  Never is OK too.  I get that.  Take care of yourself.

My best wishes and love to you always.  You are a survivor.

 

Edited January 12, 2019 by Palimpsest

[Un1c0rnTears]

Thanks! This is the only place I've seen where people have an idea of what's really going on. Perhaps I'll begin commenting more and try that way. I appreciate the responses!

[ScoobySleuth]

A dead woman needs a GoFundMe? ?

Angel Morrison wrote in a private Facebook group in December 2017 for a victim of sex trafficking that both her mother and Angel were sex-trafficked. Angel wrote her mother is dead. And she (Angel) had to take care of her six younger orphaned siblings.

 

[dairyfreelife]

2 hours ago, ScoobySleuth said:

A dead woman needs a GoFundMe? ?

Angel Morrison wrote in a private Facebook group in December 2017 for a victim of sex trafficking that both her mother and Angel were sex-trafficked. Angel wrote her mother is dead. And she (Angel) had to take care of her six younger orphaned siblings.

 

Wait, what? Aren't most of Vyckie's kids now adults? Why would she need to take care of all 6 of them when all but one or two are adults now? I can't find any info stating Vyckie has died, but I didn't do a deep search. 

I liked Vyckie at first, what she did, but she quickly soured on me and seems she has not changed. As someone else said, she never changed, just changed from fundamentalist Christian to atheist. Still the same as always, but different cause. She seems to have a need to always be the center of attention and put herself out as the victim in any situation. I am inclined to believe most people when they say they've been abused, yet color me a little skeptical of the claims that she's once again in another abusive situation. Now she's also claiming to have been sex trafficked in the past if it's the same person? Either she has some seriously bad luck and judgment or something is not adding up in all the claims of being a victim of something all the time.  

[ScoobySleuth]

12 hours ago, dairyfreelife said:

Wait, what? Aren't most of Vyckie's kids now adults? Why would she need to take care of all 6 of them when all but one or two are adults now? I can't find any info stating Vyckie has died, but I didn't do a deep search. 

I liked Vyckie at first, what she did, but she quickly soured on me and seems she has not changed. As someone else said, she never changed, just changed from fundamentalist Christian to atheist. Still the same as always, but different cause. She seems to have a need to always be the center of attention and put herself out as the victim in any situation. I am inclined to believe most people when they say they've been abused, yet color me a little skeptical of the claims that she's once again in another abusive situation. Now she's also claiming to have been sex trafficked in the past if it's the same person? Either she has some seriously bad luck and judgment or something is not adding up in all the claims of being a victim of something all the time.  

Angel is the one who wrote in that group she was sex-trafficked. Angel also wrote that her mother was dead. The person Angel was telling this to had no clue who Angel was at the time.