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Coconut Flan

John David and Abbie 7: Happiness Continues

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Meggo
On ‎4‎/‎4‎/‎2019 at 12:49 PM, FundieCentral said:

To be honest, I’m quite surprised that so many people would go watch a movie about abortion, full stop. 

I personally cannot watch horror movies, photos with blood, even news stories that show war scenes/mangled bodies without being severely affected. I have been known to pass out when someone gets a nosebleed. For me, imagining a miscarriage/abortion/injury of any kind is the most traumatizing thing possible, and I would never voluntarily go into a movie theater, eat popcorn, watch abortions, and consider that entertainment 😂

I really don’t mean this in a negative way regarding abortion, but to me the “advertising” for this sort of movie seems a bit obsolete as I’d imagine a lot of people on any side of any fence have too weak of a stomach for this. 

So - I talked to my (uber Catholic) parents the other night and Mom said they went to the movies. Thinking it was likely a Disney film or a musical - I was not prepared for "Unplanned". My parents - in their late 70s/early 80s - went to see Unplanned. 

She said "Oh - it was real well done. Real good movie. Well done." 
uh... okay? 

Now this is a woman who wouldn't go see Titanic because "it's too scary" (never mind we know the ending in that one) and who is all about a musical or an animated signing animal. And my Dad who just doesn't GO to movies unless it's like... Hunt for Red October (anything about the Navy & the Russians - my dad is there because of his background IN the Navy and dealing WITH Russians). 

So this was surprising. I do know they are STRONGLY anti-abortion. Like - when I showed them a pic of our son we were adopting, my dad said "Oh - isn't it nice to see what happens when someone doesn't choose abortion?"... um - sure.. is? But she still made a CHOICE. 

It was just all around baffling.

 

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SHERA

Sorry I’m late to the name change discussion. My husband is British and we were advised to change my name to his so the US government will be kinder to our visa and citizenship applications. I really didn’t want to because I was 36 when we got married. 

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louisa05

My go to gift for kids has long been books. I can buy a book or two for $10-20. 

Now I'm told I can't do that and have to buy "experiences" to spend time with the child. I like spending time with kids. BUT... think about how much you are asking people to spend with this idea. Here's a run down of local attractions: 

Zoo and Aquarium: total admission one adult/one child: $38

Smaller zoo: $19

Children's museum: $26 plus parking

Wildlife Safari: $14

Oh, wait, I have to take the siblings, too. Add more admission cost. 

And it won't be a short trip, so now I have to buy snacks or possibly lunch. 

Oh, your kid is only two and you want to come, too? Am I paying for you? Or am I making you pay for yourself? Doesn't it seem awkward if it's the latter--that I'm choosing for you to spend money for your child's gift? 

And, of course, the closest I live to any of these places is about 25 miles, so there's gas and mileage on my car. 

Or, you know, as an educator, I can tell you that your kid can't actually have too many books because reading is that important. 

 

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Timetostoplurking
3 minutes ago, louisa05 said:

My go to gift for kids has long been books. I can buy a book or two for $10-20. 

Now I'm told I can't do that and have to buy "experiences" to spend time with the child. I like spending time with kids. BUT... think about how much you are asking people to spend with this idea. Here's a run down of local attractions: 

Zoo and Aquarium: total admission one adult/one child: $38

Smaller zoo: $19

Children's museum: $26 plus parking

Wildlife Safari: $14

Oh, wait, I have to take the siblings, too. Add more admission cost. 

And it won't be a short trip, so now I have to buy snacks or possibly lunch. 

Oh, your kid is only two and you want to come, too? Am I paying for you? Or am I making you pay for yourself? Doesn't it seem awkward if it's the latter--that I'm choosing for you to spend money for your child's gift? 

And, of course, the closest I live to any of these places is about 25 miles, so there's gas and mileage on my car. 

Or, you know, as an educator, I can tell you that your kid can't actually have too many books because reading is that important. 

 

I agree!  Books for everyone.  (Also, I really don’t want to spend that much time with other people’s kids.  Sorry not sorry!). 

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Bobology
1 hour ago, louisa05 said:

My go to gift for kids has long been books. I can buy a book or two for $10-20. 

Now I'm told I can't do that and have to buy "experiences" to spend time with the child. I like spending time with kids. BUT... think about how much you are asking people to spend with this idea. Here's a run down of local attractions: 

Zoo and Aquarium: total admission one adult/one child: $38

Smaller zoo: $19

Children's museum: $26 plus parking

Wildlife Safari: $14

Oh, wait, I have to take the siblings, too. Add more admission cost. 

And it won't be a short trip, so now I have to buy snacks or possibly lunch. 

Oh, your kid is only two and you want to come, too? Am I paying for you? Or am I making you pay for yourself? Doesn't it seem awkward if it's the latter--that I'm choosing for you to spend money for your child's gift? 

And, of course, the closest I live to any of these places is about 25 miles, so there's gas and mileage on my car. 

Or, you know, as an educator, I can tell you that your kid can't actually have too many books because reading is that important. 

Well, you don't sound bitter at all...  lol. I love this; you are pretty much spot on.

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VelociRapture
2 hours ago, louisa05 said:

Or, you know, as an educator, I can tell you that your kid can't actually have too many books because reading is that important. 

 

Normally I’d agree with this completely. We’re planning to move this year though and moving books is not that fun. Kid’s books aren’t too bad since they’re usually pretty thin, but having a ton of books - even thin ones - to move can be a bit of a pain. 

When people have asked us recently what they can get our daughter we usually just mention money for her college fund. It’s helping to provide for her future education and the amount can be decided by the person giving the gift, so it works for most budgets. Any amount will help and is appreciated by us. Once we’re settled into our new place we’ll likely continue answering that question with college money, but we might also start telling people again that books are good too since we won’t have to worry about moving them for a very long time. 

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CharlieInCharge

If you don’t want to spend a lot of time with the kids then don’t, no big. But if you do there are tons of ‘experiences’ you can do that cost little to no money. You could plan a picnic in the park - make the food together, pick a park within walking distance if possible, then go and enjoy the day. Another idea - make and fly a kite, project and activity in one. Go to the library for an event or get a parks bag (lots of libraries have these) that include park passes and guides for rock hounding, leaf peeping or bird sighting. Just have the kid over to do or make something you like, if you are into baking teach them, if you love rock painting then introduce them to it. 

My point is that when parents ask for experiences I don’t think they are necessarily asking for costly ones. Make it something cheap and fun, still totally counts. 

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Iamtheway
Posted (edited)
12 hours ago, louisa05 said:

Or, you know, as an educator, I can tell you that your kid can't actually have too many books because reading is that important. 

I don’t know. I think Miniway might have too many books. There is a line of children’s books in Sweden called Pixi. They are small, cheap paperbooks (excellent for a small treat or to take travelling) and they have both new stories and old classic ones. After buying their advent calender for five years (the best calender!) and also buying them at other times he has around 200 just of those. 

I also really love children’s books (honestly one of the reasons I wanted a child at all) and I buy heaps of books, both new and old and also many English ones since he’s bilingual. I loved books as a child as well so we have some of my old ones. He probably has around 500 books (including the Pixi ones) and that is A LOT ... we don’t have time to read them all. We read four at bedtime every night but he is like most children and just wants to read his favourites over and over again. 

We also enjoy going to the library ... 

👩:romance-heartbeating:📚:romance-heartbeating:🧒

97C382E2-EF15-4DD4-A0D8-0664A2F4D21D.jpeg

Edited by Iamtheway
Added a photo of the Pixi books. We have 9 of these ...

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Meggo

I'm good with books. I'm good with experiences (of all varieties). And you don't HAVE to get my kid anything - really. If you want to send him a card - he would be absolutely delighted. Throw in a few stickers - even better. 

But - directed to my mom's cousin who insists on "buying" my son things - don't scrounge around in your old AVON stuff to find something at that 6 year old boy might like. She also gave him (at age 4) a stack of cards that she'd stamped. For birthdays, etc. Her expectation - she told me as much - was that he'd hang on to them until he was a grown up and then would send them out to people. He was FOUR. 
This year -for his birthday -  he got a coffee mug that was made to look like a Christmas drum, with a scary teddy bear inside the mug. And two packets of hot cocoa that she clearly had around the house. 
Really - I have ZERO expectation that this woman would give my son something for any holiday. ZERO. She doesn't have to do anything. So please stop with the garage sale rejects. Or the cheapest quality toy you can find that will break before we get home. He doesn't NEED anymore toys. 

I also don't want her to do any experience things because that means I'd have to experience HER and I try to limit that. She's nuts. 

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LillyP

My kid loves books. He's 1 and as soon as we go into his room the first thing he does is go straight to the stacks of books. 

I keep a running Amazon wishlist for him specifically for grandparents because I hate getting useless gifts. I would rather people not buy him anything than buy him junk I need to throw away. He's so little he doesn't need much so I try to always keep useful things he does NEED. Things like a new lifejacket (we live on a beach/marina and boat all the time), red wagon, shoes, toys for specific milestone ages, etc. Thankfully most of our friends have kids of similar ages so they know the best things to buy as gifts.

I have a strict "no clothes" policy unless it's something I've put on the wishlist. I'm super picky about my kids clothing, it's pretty much the one thing I'm a parenting diva about and the one kid thing I spend a good chunk of money on. We wear a lot of classic southern kids clothes - jon jons, bubbles, smocked outfits, and his "everyday" clothes are also pretty specific because I hate things with characters, writing, or crap that says "mommy's best guy". My ILs specifically have horrible taste in children's clothes are were buying him so much ugly crap I would never put him in, they finally caught on that he never wore it and stopped buying him clothes as gifts.

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Four is Enough

Hundreds of kids' books have been in our home. Many of them came from yard sales. They have nearly all been passed on to other kids, some via    yard sales... no regrets. Some of the favorites still linger in various children's rooms.

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just_ordinary
Posted (edited)
On 4/18/2019 at 1:11 PM, Iamtheway said:

I don’t know. I think Miniway might have too many books. There is a line of children’s books in Sweden called Pixi. They are small, cheap paperbooks (excellent for a small treat or to take travelling) and they have both new stories and old classic ones. After buying their advent calender for five years (the best calender!) and also buying them at other times he has around 200 just of those. 

I also really love children’s books (honestly one of the reasons I wanted a child at all) and I buy heaps of books, both new and old and also many English ones since he’s bilingual. I loved books as a child as well so we have some of my old ones. He probably has around 500 books (including the Pixi ones) and that is A LOT ... we don’t have time to read them all. We read four at bedtime every night but he is like most children and just wants to read his favourites over and over again. 

We also enjoy going to the library ... 

👩:romance-heartbeating:📚:romance-heartbeating:🧒

97C382E2-EF15-4DD4-A0D8-0664A2F4D21D.jpeg

Ahhhhh Pixi books. We have them in Germany too.

Edited by just_ordinary

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Glasgowghirl
On 4/17/2019 at 11:22 PM, louisa05 said:

My go to gift for kids has long been books. I can buy a book or two for $10-20. 

Now I'm told I can't do that and have to buy "experiences" to spend time with the child. I like spending time with kids. BUT... think about how much you are asking people to spend with this idea. Here's a run down of local attractions: 

Zoo and Aquarium: total admission one adult/one child: $38

Smaller zoo: $19

Children's museum: $26 plus parking

Wildlife Safari: $14

Oh, wait, I have to take the siblings, too. Add more admission cost. 

And it won't be a short trip, so now I have to buy snacks or possibly lunch. 

Oh, your kid is only two and you want to come, too? Am I paying for you? Or am I making you pay for yourself? Doesn't it seem awkward if it's the latter--that I'm choosing for you to spend money for your child's gift? 

And, of course, the closest I live to any of these places is about 25 miles, so there's gas and mileage on my car. 

Or, you know, as an educator, I can tell you that your kid can't actually have too many books because reading is that important. 

 

Both my nephew's birthday's are in the same week and last year I bought them tickets to go to a charity match at Celtic Park, the tickets were cheap but by the time I bought them a scarf each, a match programme, food and other expenses, I had spent over £100, they got signatures from a few players and we had a good day but this year if I take them anywhere it will be either Kelvingrove museum or the new Glasgow transport museum, the entry is free and one is on the Clyde with a few attractions and the other is next to large park. 

I loved getting books and buy nieces and nephews usually put a book and/or a dvd in with their Christmas present every year.

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GuineaPigCourtship

We are still childless at this point, hopefully not forever, but no luck so far.  I'm weighing in as remembering the fun stuff I did as a kid with family and friends and wishing I was able to do more.  I LOVED going fruit picking, loved going on picnics in the park (especially the rose garden in a park in our capital city), hunting butterflies, going on short hikes, reading books (my mom read aloud to me until I left for college), having tea parties, building blanket/pillow forts, and coloring.  My dad would even hide fake gold coins in a box and draw us a treasure map to find them, making up stories about crazy pirate battles and curses the whole way.  All are either free or relatively inexpensive and can be done with or without other kids or parents pretty easily.

I don't think anyone is expecting, or even wanting, people who are only acquaintances to take their kids out for experiences.  But uncles, aunts, grandparents, etc... sure!

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Wine time!
OyToTheVey
Posted (edited)

I love the idea of taking kids on an adventure as a present. But if I have to take my nephew or my best friends kids anywjere, I'd rather shoot something tbh. I love them. But I kinda like my sanity more. I joined them at the zoo a few times and all I wanted was a gallon of vodka after. I used to take my oldest nephew everywhere. He's 18 now so this was a while ago. My youngest nephew is 5 and my best friends kids are 5 and 7. The 7 year old reads like a maniac, I always end up getting his a stack of books I think he would like. My current present, waiting, is a train for the 5 year old and a children's version of 20 Thousand Leagues Under The Sea and Three Musketeers for the 7 year old. My nephew gets his favorite cars every time I see him, oops.

Edited by OyToTheVey

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nastyhobbitses
On 4/17/2019 at 11:27 PM, Timetostoplurking said:

I agree!  Books for everyone.  (Also, I really don’t want to spend that much time with other people’s kids.  Sorry not sorry!). 

If you have to get a gift for the children of people you hate and you're willing to shell out a little for the ultimate "fuck you", get them musical instruments. The kid will sound TERRIBLE and only know 1 or 2 songs at first, and if they're really enthusiastic, they'll be sawing/banging/screeching those 1 or 2 songs incessantly. And because musical instruments are so good for education and brain development and general well-roundedness, now the parents will look like assholes if they take the instrument away, so they're well and truly stuck until the kid gets good or loses interest. 

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VelociRapture
Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, nastyhobbitses said:

If you have to get a gift for the children of people you hate and you're willing to shell out a little for the ultimate "fuck you", get them musical instruments. The kid will sound TERRIBLE and only know 1 or 2 songs at first, and if they're really enthusiastic, they'll be sawing/banging/screeching those 1 or 2 songs incessantly. And because musical instruments are so good for education and brain development and general well-roundedness, now the parents will look like assholes if they take the instrument away, so they're well and truly stuck until the kid gets good or loses interest. 

Be very careful with this. If you ever have kids you’ll be at heightened risk of this happening to you in return. It’s one of the biggest reasons husband and I stick to gifting our nephews college money, books, and any clothes my sister says they could use.*

We might get our younger nephew a Zoo membership for his first birthday or make that a joint gift for his parents’ birthdays this year. My sister has the summer off (she’s a teacher) and kids under 3 are free, but her eldest turned 3 earlier this year. The membership would give them a great activity to do outside where she could run the kids ragged, make some really great memories with them, and wouldn’t add to the ridiculous amount of toys the boys have (because her in-laws don’t listen when they’ve begged them not to buy more toys.)

*ETA: Well, that and we actually like my sister and BIL. Lol!

Edited by VelociRapture
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Iamtheway
On 4/18/2019 at 5:03 PM, LillyP said:

My kid loves books. He's 1 and as soon as we go into his room the first thing he does is go straight to the stacks of books. 

I keep a running Amazon wishlist for him specifically for grandparents because I hate getting useless gifts. I would rather people not buy him anything than buy him junk I need to throw away. He's so little he doesn't need much so I try to always keep useful things he does NEED. Things like a new lifejacket (we live on a beach/marina and boat all the time), red wagon, shoes, toys for specific milestone ages, etc. Thankfully most of our friends have kids of similar ages so they know the best things to buy as gifts.

I have a strict "no clothes" policy unless it's something I've put on the wishlist. I'm super picky about my kids clothing, it's pretty much the one thing I'm a parenting diva about and the one kid thing I spend a good chunk of money on. We wear a lot of classic southern kids clothes - jon jons, bubbles, smocked outfits, and his "everyday" clothes are also pretty specific because I hate things with characters, writing, or crap that says "mommy's best guy". My ILs specifically have horrible taste in children's clothes are were buying him so much ugly crap I would never put him in, they finally caught on that he never wore it and stopped buying him clothes as gifts.

Oh, the days my kid let me chose what he wore, those were the days. He’s five now and VERY stubborn (wonder where he got that :pb_rollseyes:). I do decide what’s in his closet. I no longer decide how he combines it though ... 

And when he tells me he really wants something I often get it for him if it’s not too horrible. I want him to be able to have his own style. He likes flowers, glitter, superheros and any clothes with food on them (as a print, not as a stain, although he’s not too picky about that either). 

On 4/20/2019 at 7:50 PM, just_ordinary said:

Ahhhhh Pixi books. We have them in Germany too.

We actually have one in German! Miniway got it at McDonalds in Germany last year. I did six years of German in school but that was a long time ago so I’m not 100% sure I have translated it right for him. He likes the story we think it’s telling though. 

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Meh
backyard sylph

I never minded when my kids had musical instruments. I loved that they loved them, all the banging and dischording, etc. It's so sweet, and if/when you do tire of it, you just say it's time for x or y or z now, which takes patience, but is necessary to teach anyway. I still love when they play whatever music they play as young adults; I love that they love it.

But yes, books. Experiences? A new park or treat shop: a person you're giving a thing to should not expect you to rehang the moon. And a lot of that stuff just makes kids tired, anyway, til they're much older.

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wandering woman

John David always looks overly excited and awkward in photos with Abbie. I'm glad he's happy, but it is a bit much. Maybe he will calm down over time.

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nastyhobbitses
48 minutes ago, wandering woman said:

John David always looks overly excited and awkward in photos with Abbie. I'm glad he's happy, but it is a bit much. Maybe he will calm down over time.

I just had seeeeeeeeeex....and I'll never go baaaaaaack....to the not-having-sex ways of the past

 

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Wine time!
Snarkasarus Rex

Hey Abbie, more dress and less JD, mmmkay?

Do they not give these girls any guidance on how to post?

 

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VBOY9977
32 minutes ago, Snarkasarus Rex said:

Hey Abbie, more dress and less JD, mmmkay?

Do they not give these girls any guidance on how to post?

 

I was thinking the same thing. I can barely see the dress. Even in the second picture, she didn’t show it completely and the lighting is quite bad. 

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