Lori Alexander 59: The Oracle of California

[Alisamer]

I agree. Mercedes. A gold one.

My first car was a 1982 Dodge Omni. I know for a fact it cost $250, and I was thrilled to get it as a birthday present. The horn didn't work and the battery kept dying (related issues, it turned out), and the red interior had faded to green in some places. But it was mine, and it was awesome.

It was not, however, a vintage Mercedes. And I'm not sure it would ever have been worth $5000!

[Koala]

My first car was a gold Saturn. My husband had a read Acura.  I still miss those cars.  

[feministxtian]

My first car was a 1972 Chevy Nova SS. Bought it from a lady I babysat for. 300 bucks. God I LOVED that car! I didn't have a "brand new" vehicle until 1990 when the X bought a brand new Dodge Grand Caravan, stripped down. Drove it about 8 years until it fell apart. Drove used vehicles for awhile after. Next was a 2004 Chevy Trailblazer EXT that I bought and financed by myself (my credit was MUCH better then). Drove that for 10 years then sold it to #2 son for 500 bucks. Had the Mustang for 8 years, now drive a 2017 Explorer. 

Hubs has a 1999 Expedition. Can't kill it but we may replace it with a newer one (2016 or newer) next year. 

My parents didn't "give" me a car. Well, I drove my father's car for awhile after the Grand Caravan died. He couldn't drive anymore and I drove it with his blessing. 

Fuck that bitch. 

[Sarah92]

I bought my own car for 1500 when I graduated from college in 2015. It was a 1999 Chevy Lumina. Looking back I think I was over charged given the condition. Drove it until this year when it was costing more to keep running than I spent on it. I bought a 2009 Honda Accord this August and it's been great and I'm pretty sure it will last me a while. 

[wallysmommy]

I had to share a 1972 Ford LTD station wagon with my brother in 1978. Complete with the wood grain siding. We called it the tank, but it was great for hauling a bunch of friends around.  My first new car was a 1983 brand new red thunderbird that I bought myself with my Jezebel earnings. That was a great car! I now have a paid off 2012 Avalon that I’ll drive until the wheels fall off.

[ViolaSebastian]

My current car is 19-years old. A 1999 Nissan Sentra. I’ll drive it until it dies, because Prince Charming, and more to the point with Lori and Ken’s children, Prince Charming with a mommy and daddy who bail he and his siblings asses out so they can all live an upper-middle class life in one of the most expensive areas in the country and have tons of kids, isn’t coming. 

[EmiGirl]

And with the cash for clunkers thing you had to buy a brand new car. And  you either got 3500 or 4500. 

 

That program was such a pain for us in the business. There was so much paperwork involved and it took so freaking long to get our money. 

[Pink Muffin]

I don´t have anything to say in the car discussion since I don´t have a car, that  may or may not be because I don´t have a driver´s licence 

But christmas on the other hand... I LOVE christmas! This year I´m going to my brother and SIL on christmas eve (that´s when we in Sweden eat a lot, I mean really a lot, of food and in the evening we give the children their presents) My two niece´s are coming with their husbands and my oldest niece has two children, 6 year old and a 18 months old. It will be fun and cosy and we will stuff us with food.

In my own home I don´t have a tree because I have a cat that is nuts, but i do decorate. Here is a pic of my oldest - I don´t know what you call them - elfs? The red ones comes from my childhood home and the little candle holders are from my maternal grandparents home

Spoiler

 
  

[polecat]

My first car was a '79 LeBaron. It was 10+ years old at the time and originally my parents', but I had to buy it from them because my parents didn't believe in just giving kids cars. So $650 later, the car was mine. I paid $50 a month until it was paid off and covered the insurance, which was $90 a month or so. 

But dang it, I was proud of that rattly old car, even though its windows and locks shorted out every time it rained, lol.

[klein_roeschen]

I got my first car last year, I was 34 years old and the car was a 17 year old Smart. After the mechanic gave me the shattering diagnosis for his turbo charger this summer and that replacing that would cost more than my car was worth, I sold him and got a 14 year old Opel Corsa for 1000 €. Bought it from my best friends mechanic (who became also now my mechanic) and he overhauled him before I got him and the car is in great shape for his age and I do what is needed so he stays in good shape. Wich leads me to the question how Lori's Mercedes goes from needing a quarter hour to gain speed when her sons drove it to purring like a kitten for her to being barely able to drive 2 miles to the car dealership. It was a Mercedes Diesel for fucks sake, with good maintenance they last forever and more than 300 000 miles and a vintage car in good maintenance is worth more than 5000 $. And stealing from her daughter is the cherry on that cake. Maybe the next viral post is about women and why we don't need cars for being a godly homemaker, since the husband can drive us where we need it.

[usmcmom]

We bought our daughter a six year old Camry for her to drive to college. We wanted something reliable because she went to school eight hours from home. That thing could make the one way trip on one tank of gas!!  It lost a hubcap on every trip but it got great mileage! 

The first time she drove home, she told us her hubcap was on an interstate somewhere and her car looked trashy. I told my huband "please don't replace that hubcap. Now is the time for her to do without and learn to make do with what she has."  But he found one on ebay for $13 and mailed it to her in a pizza box. All her friends saw her carrying the box out of the mail room and were all excited because she must have received cookies. She said she had to keep opening the box and saying "Nope! It's a hubcap!" That story kind of made up for Daddy spoiling her. After that , though, the hubcaps did not get replaced by us. She started pulling off the road and finding them as they fell off. At any given time, we used to play a guessing game as to which tire(s) would be without a hubcap. Bulids character.  

 

[SuperNova]

We have a classic Mercedes similar to Lori's except that it's a '79 coupe and trust me, it's nothing to brag about. It's very pretty, and that's it. It's slow and it chugs. It's a diesel so it belches smoke and sounds just like you would expect a 40 year old diesel to sound. It doesn't want to shut off in the cold weather so sometimes you have to pop the hood and manually shut it down. The AC gave up the ghost a few years ago and the parts are impossible to find so we sweat all summer. The heater is permanently stuck at high so it's either roast or freeze all winter. Such luxury!

We keep it around as a commuter car for Mr Nova because it doesn't have to be smogged, it's cheap to run, and gets 35 mpg on the highway. 

[AuntKrazy]

My first car was a 1984 'vette. . .(it was a family joke to call it that, because it was a Chevette)  I bought that thing with money I stashed away from babysitting and tutoring when my parents would not help me get a car of my own.  I called her Maude and I paid for the insurance, and every scrap of gas I put into her.  Meanwhile, my parents bought my older brother a Grand Prix the day he turned 16 and my younger brother got to trade in the family car and get a Trans Am on his 16th birthday.  Their bills were all paid for by my folks. So my parents bought my brothers sports cars, and I had to buy my own "throw away vehicle" to get around. 

I drove Maude for 8 years and put over 100k miles on her.  When her transmission finally went, I bought a brand new car with cash I had saved.  I loved that car - as well as the independence and freedom it represented.  Because I owned her - no one could stop me from driving away (and going to college, grad school, work).  It was a small, revolutionary act on my part to make that decision myself.  It's amazing to me how such a seemingly small decision over 30 years ago snowballed into not only discovering my own identity and agency, but also my mother's transformation into someone with a sense of empowerment as well.

While It was incredibly damaging to me to have been defined as second class simply because I was female, I look back at the situation now and shake my head at how owning a car was my teenage rebellion. And I know that it feels anecdotal now because my parents sought my forgiveness for the situation. 

I would say that by pursuing my forgiveness, my parents truly taught me what is most valuable in life.

 

[older than allosaurs]

I got my first car at 22, after a bad experience hitchhiking. My parents didn't let me get my license till I was 18 and they couldn't stop me, and there was no way they were buying me a car. I was mad about the license, since I grew up out in the woods and it was tough to get around (and to earn money) without driving, but ok with no gifted car. They paid for most of private college, and I got by fine there with a bicycle, my thumb, and later a Vespa. This was the '60s, so the hitchhiking part was not quite as out to lunch as it sounds now.

Imagine my surprise when I found myself buying a car for my younger daughter when she was 16. It wasn't a philosophical decision. It turned out I couldn't handle driving her 30 miles a night to theater rehearsals while also single parenting, commuting and working full time. It was a cheap, ugly little Pontiac and it ran forever. We lucked out.

Now I have a 13-year-old Prius, bought used off Craigslist when the owners got a new one during the Cash for Clunkers deal, and a Toyota pickup that turns 30 next year. That is a great little truck -- 4 cylinders, 4-wheel drive, Toyota red. Everyone in our family and a good percentage of the non-truck-owners in the neighborhood have used it at one time or another. The kids keep urging me to get something newer, but I'm happy. I'm pushing 70 and have never had a car loan.

 

[Krissy]

I was given a 1984 Chevy caprice when I was 22 I believe or 21 by my grandpa. 

We told our sons it’s either we match their savings or we will buy a 1,000 car. 

[Frog99]

My parents bought my first car for me (it wasn’t brand new) and paid for most of the second car. They paid my car insurance all through college and for the first year of my after graduation job. I lived with them (aside from brief stints) and wasn’t expected to pay rent or otherwise financially contribute (I bought my own clothes and toiletries and such). 

I know that’s not the norm. I fully recognize my privilege and I am grateful for the start it provided. I am most definitely not spoiled or entitled. I recognize the value of hard work, and I put tremendous effort into everything I do. 

You won’t find me telling people what they should/shouldn’t do for their kids. And I will not deny my privilege. 

[Loveday]

3 hours ago, EmiGirl said:

And with the cash for clunkers thing you had to buy a brand new car. And  you either got 3500 or 4500. 

 

That program was such a pain for us in the business. There was so much paperwork involved and it took so freaking long to get our money. 

Thanks for the info, I was pretty sure $5000 was never part of that program! Either Lori got an extra $500 from the dealer apart from Cash for Clunkers (and thanks for that, too, I couldn't recall the name of the program), or she's just lying about how much she got. I'm going to go with the latter. 

@Pink Muffin, those elves are adorable! 

[Briefly]

20 hours ago, Sarah92 said:

I don't typically like what Prudently has to say but you know what? You go Prudently! Someone is finally pushing back and I gotta say I like her spunk, quite savage. I might not agree with her but I think she actually wants to live what she preaches. She's also smart enough to see what's happening on that page. I'd almost like to see her be a Fundy guest on freejinger. 

Back to Christmas talk! I took my parents old fake tree. My sister bought a beautiful fake tree that spins (so extra) when she was in her own place. Now that she's back with my parents they're using that. I just slapped some more lights where the prelit ones went out and called it good. My mom also brought me some of my ornaments that I had growing up. She kept the babies 1st Christmas ones but she gave me ones with my name on it, Precious Moments and Barbie ornaments from Avon and a few other. She put together a box for me and brought it up for thanksgiving with the tree. When I was decorating the tree a few days later I pulled out some of the more delicate ones that are really old that she had tucked in to the box.  I wasn't expecting her to bless me with some of her oldest ornaments and nearly cried. The Avon ornaments are important because my Great Grandma sold Avon for decades so she would often give us ornaments. I have boxes full of cherish teddies from her as well.

On my tv stand I have a nativity scene made from printed fabric figures stuffed with stuffing that my grandma made I played with it for hours as a child. I was/am in love with it. 

My Nativity set that my mother bought me yearly, piece by piece, is the white bisque set by Avon!  It's one of my most treasured gifts from her.  It's not up this year because it's up in the attic and we can't get to it easily, but I will get it down when we get up there the next time and find a place in the house to store it until next Christmas.

That was so sweet of her to include those ornaments for you.

[Briefly]

My first car was a 1964 Ford Fairlane that my brother got from his in-laws parents and then he abused it for a few years.  He gave it to our father, who gave it to me.  The car was named Bessie by somebody, and that's what I called it.  I drove it for a few months, before I bought my first "real" car.  When I sold the Fairlane, the man that bought it was going to restore it for his son and daughter in law.  I have always wished I'd kept that car and restored it, but it was probably best that it had another home.

When the Briefly daughter graduated high school, she got about $1100 in gifts which she was going to use towards a car.  When she basically flunked out of college, the money went towards the school loans instead which I did not agree with because we had already agreed that it was our responsibility to pay for her education.  Which I disagreed with but that was during our attempt at fundamentalism and I gave in to Mr. Briefly when I should have stood up for her.  But when we bought me a new car, a 2008 impala to replace the 2002 impala I had been driving, Mr. Briefly took the 02 as his car.  When she moved out on her own, we sold her the 02 (not exactly**) but then it had a catastrophic failure (cracked block) and since we had just bought me a 2015 Impala, Mr. Briefly traded cars with her so she had a safe car (the 2008) and the 02 was sold for scrap.

**Mr. Briefly was basically being a jerk about the car, he insisted that she had to pay for it. So I said fine, the car was in both our names so he could sell her his half but I was giving her my half of the car.  And I also told him that I was going to be the one keeping track of her payments - and that she could work off the debt instead of actually paying us.  She agreed and when she came over to do her laundry, she would clean things for me.  I "paid" very well, she cleaned the bathroom a few times and I called it good and she agreed with me that the car was better than anything she could have bought for $1100.00.  I think that was when I finally opened my eyes and realized that the attempt at fundamentalism was a huge mistake and that I was the one had to fix it.  Things changed a great deal after that, all because of a car.

[Emilycharlotte]

8 hours ago, Koala said:

Lori made the following humble brag on yesterday's Facebook doodle:

Yesterday:

A Mercedes for her sons to share.  Okay.

Except:

Interesting.  Lori says it was for her sons to share, but in 2016, she said her parents gave it to her daughter as a graduation present.

Now, bearing in mind that it was a present for Alyssa (which Lori decided to use for her sons), check out this post from 2015:

So now we have Lori selling (and pocketing) 5 grand on ALYSSA'S present!  

Lori, you and Ken have plenty of money!  Are you going to seriously tell me your daughter couldn't have used that money?!?  You sold what your parents gave her!!!

My children were each given gifts of a fairly significant value on their 13th birthdays.  The gifts were from my in-laws.  My daughter's gift was a piano, which she eventually lost interest in (turns out, she really loves to take painting/drawing classes).  That piano still sits in my living room, BUT if and when she should decide to sell it, the money will be hers alone.  If she decides not to sell it, we are happy to store it for her indefinitely.  The point is, it's her piano, an if it was sold, I would never keep a solitary dime of the profits.

In yet another post in 2015, Lori wrote:

The above post is about Ryan and Steven.  Ryan was a mere 2 years younger than Alyssa.  When he was 16, she would have been 18 (which was when Lori claims Alyssa got the car).

Alyssa has posted on Instagram that left home at 18, with nothing but the clothes on her back and a suitcase.  In the post, she was basically thanking a friend for taking her in.

Alyssa wrote:

Her grandparents had *just* given her a car.  But you know what?  It seems that Lori took it for her sons.  Alyssa?  She was left at barely 18 years old, with nothing.

In 2014, Lori wrote:

In 2012, she wrote:

That's right, it's HER gold Mercedes!

She continues:

Except it wasn't a car for your boys- it was a car for your daughter, and YOU (Lori) profited $5,000 from that gift!

Side note- Lori had been in possession of that car for many years when she sold it for $5000.  Imagine what it was worth when Alyssa first came into possession of it (probably 15 years prior).  She would have had a nice little starting out fund, if she'd been allowed to keep HER gift.

When was President Obama’s car deal available? Because that second quote (the graduation present quote) sounds like she was still driving it in 2016, which makes me wonder if they actually turned in a different Mercedes. 

Either way, not letting Alyssa keep that car is horrible every way you look at it—-but I keep coming back to the fact that they let their 18-year-old daughter move to a strange city with nothing but a suitcase when it was completely in their power to make her transition both easier and safer.  They wouldn’t have even had to buy her a car, they could have just let her keep the one that was hers!

I try not to speculate, and I keep thinking maybe there is another reason she didn’t take the car—but the way “no car” is bolded and highlighted in Alyssa’s Instagram post, along with Lori’s contradictory statements, lead me to believe they really did give her car to the boys. I just can’t quite wrap my head around it. 

On a totally unrelated topic, I once had a friend with a narcissist mother who delighted in finding out something—like a family heirloom, say—that was really special or meaningful to my friend; she would then immediately give that item to her other daughter. Not sure what made me think of that, just thought I’d share. ?

 

 

[SuperNova]

31 minutes ago, Briefly said:

My first car was a 1964 Ford Fairlane that my brother got from his in-laws parents and then he abused it for a few years.  He gave it to our father, who gave it to me.  The car was named Bessie by somebody, and that's what I called it.  I drove it for a few months, before I bought my first "real" car.  When I sold the Fairlane, the man that bought it was going to restore it for his son and daughter in law.  I have always wished I'd kept that car and restored it, but it was probably best that it had another home.

Ahh! Fairlanes are awesome! My first car was a 1960 Fairlane bought in 2006. I loved that car with all my heart until someone in a jeep veered into my lane hit me head on going 50 mph. No seatbelts, no airbags and I walked away. The jeep driver, not so much.

[feministxtian]

All this car talk...I took my Explorer to the dealer yesterday to replace a bulb (first time in years I've had a bumper to bumper warranty) and went in the showroom. Looked around and there it was...a 2019 Shelby...gunmetal gray with blue rally stripes. Carbon fiber covered hoses and mirrors, 10spd automatic, OH MY GOD!!! As I wiped the drool off my chin I looked at the window sticker...and my heart just stopped...it was like 130K for that car. HO LEE SHIIIIIIIT! 

I want another Mustang but guess I'll be sticking with the GT...the price is a little less heart stopping. 

[older than allosaurs]

51 minutes ago, Briefly said:

**Mr. Briefly was basically being a jerk about the car, he insisted that she had to pay for it. So I said fine, the car was in both our names so he could sell her his half but I was giving her my half of the car.  And I also told him that I was going to be the one keeping track of her payments - and that she could work off the debt instead of actually paying us.  She agreed and when she came over to do her laundry, she would clean things for me.  I "paid" very well, she cleaned the bathroom a few times and I called it good and she agreed with me that the car was better than anything she could have bought for $1100.00.  I think that was when I finally opened my eyes and realized that the attempt at fundamentalism was a huge mistake and that I was the one had to fix it.  Things changed a great deal after that, all because of a car. 

I think the way stuff gets worked out often matters more in the big picture than the original ultimatum.

When younger daughter was in college she needed a more reliable car. She wanted me to co-sign a loan for her, and I wouldn't do it. I thought she was not yet realistic enough about money and was too fast and loose with non-school expenses paid from her student loans. She was living rent-free in a house I had recently inherited and I paid all the house expenses. I said I would pay for a cheap car or help pay for a somewhat less cheap one that we could buy straight out. Instead she went to her dad, my former husband, who was happy to do good cop to my bad cop. He co-signed the loan.

It all worked out great. I was able to tell her that I sincerely hoped I was wrong about this being a bad idea, and it turned out I was. She bought the overpriced, expensive-to-run car she wanted, and she never missed a payment. In the process she wised up about budgeting and debt and gas mileage. I was happy for her, she was proud of herself, and she wasn't mad at me. I think the only dissatisfied person was the ex, who was hoping to be the designated good parent without putting out a dime toward her BA.

[Loveday]

1 hour ago, Emilycharlotte said:

When was President Obama’s car deal available? Because that second quote (the graduation present quote) sounds like she was still driving it in 2016, which makes me wonder if they actually turned in a different Mercedes. 

Either way, not letting Alyssa keep that car is horrible every way you look at it—-but I keep coming back to the fact that they let their 18-year-old daughter move to a strange city with nothing but a suitcase when it was completely in their power to make her transition both easier and safer.  They wouldn’t have even had to buy her a car, they could have just let her keep the one that was hers!

I try not to speculate, and I keep thinking maybe there is another reason she didn’t take the car—but the way “no car” is bolded and highlighted in Alyssa’s Instagram post, along with Lori’s contradictory statements, lead me to believe they really did give her car to the boys. I just can’t quite wrap my head around it. 

On a totally unrelated topic, I once had a friend with a narcissist mother who delighted in finding out something—like a family heirloom, say—that was really special or meaningful to my friend; she would then immediately give that item to her other daughter. Not sure what made me think of that, just thought I’d share. ?

 

 

2009, I think. Good catch. Sounds to me like yes, Lori and Ken did have another Mercedes. Or, yet again, she's making things up as she goes along and not bothering to make sure she's keeping her stories straight. 

[Sarah92]

3 hours ago, Briefly said:

My Nativity set that my mother bought me yearly, piece by piece, is the white bisque set by Avon!  It's one of my most treasured gifts from her.  It's not up this year because it's up in the attic and we can't get to it easily, but I will get it down when we get up there the next time and find a place in the house to store it until next Christmas.

That was so sweet of her to include those ornaments for you.

The nativity sounds like it would be so pretty! I'm not typically a fan of MLMs but Avon has a special place in my heart because my Great Grandma sold it and all the Avon ornaments and such that I treasure. 

The ornaments were a wonderful addition and I felt honored to have them. 

Also it's makes me feel like she's finally gotten over me pulling the Christmas tree down as a child. As my parents will say , when I was little they heard a thud and came into the room to find the Christmas tree lying on the floor having sprouted arms and legs. I wasn't hurt but some ornaments were. I think I did this like two more times? There was this ornament I loved and always spun around. They started tying the tree up after that lol. We used to do real trees but my mom found out she was allergic to pine and the like. But yeah I was that kid who innocently pulled trees over because I wanted to play with shiny things.