Jinjer 46: Felicity and Her Hair Coverings

[SorenaJ]

Can anyone track down the original laundry room breakdown description? The only thing I could find was this: http://www.duggarfamily.com/michelles-blog?ID=58aa090b-2dbe-44a2-a6e6-04c6cee0c5fb 

which seems to suggest that their laundry person/piano teacher had come since 2004 (she had been helping them for 12 years, and the blog post was from 2016), but I thought the laundry room incident occurred much earlier than that. Can anyone help? 

EDIT: Apparently the laundry room story was shared in 2006 at a conference, and put on the Duggar Family website in 2006 or 2007, at which point it was 10 years they had had their piano laundry person. So the laundry room incident likely happened in 1996, or 1997. Jinger would have been 2 or 3 years, and would not have remembered it. Michelle would have had 7 or 8 kids at that point. 

http://ahthelife.blogspot.com/2007/09/ (second post) 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

10 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

I was raised Catholic too, though I haven’t considered myself one for about 15 years now. One of the things I remember most vividly from my miscarriage was quietly reciting Hail Mary under my breath once the Doctor left after explaining what was happening. It’s the only prayer I ever really use to be honest, mostly because I feel like Mary - as a woman and a mother - would probably understand the things I have on my mind. I don’t know what I believe when it comes to religion and I don’t really think anyone is listening to me when I say it. I just know that that specific prayer has helped to calm me at times when I’ve needed it.

I also don't quite know what I believe, but this is also my automatic go to prayer during my darkest moments.

it gives me the deepest comfort.

[SassyPants]

2 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

I think there were around seven or eight kids in the family at that point. Jinger is number six. If I’m right then I think she’d have been much too young to remember. Anyone younger than Jill (at the absolute youngest) might have been too young to remember.  

And she likely chalks it up to her mother not praying hard enough or something. Isn’t that what her family and/or Jeremy believe? That prayer is the answer to literally everything in life, even potential mental health crises?

Well, if* this is true, they are hypocrites, as Jinger had an epidural during labor and delivery. If prayer is all you need for a mental health crisis, why isn't prayer enough for labor and delivery pains? Walk the walk or stop the talk!

*I truly know very little about the Vuolos intricate, contorted beliefs.

[VelociRapture]

1 hour ago, treehugger said:

I think what annoys me the most about her post (along with everything everyone else has mentioned) is the smugness of it.  Whether it is a newleywed couple waxing eloquent on the joys and necessity of marriage, or the mother of a 6 month old philosophically cogitating the wonders and importance of motherhood, they both elicit and eye roll response from me. I mean, I'm glad she is enjoying motherhood and all, but she has had a baby for all of 2.2 seconds, in very privileged circumstances.  Give it some time, before you start doling out advice and blind statements there, Jinger,  you will be surprised at motherhood.  

I honestly can’t wait to see what they say once Felicity is reliably mobile. Kids being able to walk on their own is a complete game changer in my experience. They get into absolutely everything, regardless of whether they should or not. 

(Jeremy, you may want to baby proof the door to your study now - just to be sure you don’t forget. Wouldn’t want anything unfortunate happening to those books.)

[Audrey2]

27 minutes ago, VelociRapture said:

I honestly can’t wait to see what they say once Felicity is reliably mobile. Kids being able to walk on their own is a complete game changer in my experience. They get into absolutely everything, regardless of whether they should or not. 

(Jeremy, you may want to baby proof the door to your study now - just to be sure you don’t forget. Wouldn’t want anything unfortunate happening to those books.)

Not only this, she also has thatbperiod from about 18 months until around two and a half, when the child is really frustrated because he or she has their own will but can't communicate it with the grown-ups. about a year later it gets really bad too, when the kid is verbal enough to tell you exactly what they want and are very highly I rate it you won't do what they have asked you to do.

and with Felicity being a daughter, I don't even know that we want to go into the tween and teen years!

[SorenaJ]

7 minutes ago, Audrey2 said:

I don't even know that we want to go into the tween and teen years!

Teens don't have to be bad. I was a very mild and easy-going teenager. I would always do my homework, made a good effort in school, would visit my grandma every day after school, I didn't drink, go to parties, have sex, do drugs, or anything that would make my parents nervous. I was only a bit temperamental one day of the month, the first day of my period. Otherwise I was a very exemplary teenager. No yelling or door slamming. 

[singsingsing]

17 minutes ago, Audrey2 said:

and with Felicity being a daughter, I don't even know that we want to go into the tween and teen years!

Why with her being a daughter? I think fundie boys get just as much pressure, brainwashing and punishment during their tween and teen years, sadly enough. 

[Mama Mia]

Meh...I think some people just only post the positives on social media. Jinger’s is, I’m sure heavily influenced by her upbringing, being a preachers wife, etc....But I think we all know people whose social media is just the rainbows and pretty outfits and celebrations and happy thoughts. 

Of all the older sisters she seems the most reserved and private in her feelings, but has a nice eye for pretty things ( hence her choice of husband ) , and she is most definitely a follower , not a leader (see also, Jeremy ) - so her social media style makes sense to me. It fits her personality. 

Jessa is so incredibly good at social media because she manages to do all the cuteness and light - but throws in the challenges too, and stuff she’s not so great at. But not everyone either wants to share the hard parts - or can handle the blow back they get. IMO Jinger would absolutely crumble if she got 4 bazillion negative comments because she showed her dirty house. That’s not a bad or good thing, it’s just different styles.

Poor Jill is just not very good at it. She doesn’t have Jingers eye for a good image, or Jessa’s way with words. That doesn’t make her bad, just not good at this weird new way of sharing and judging.

Social Media is such a strange thing. In the more secular world you have all those types- but also the people who fight very publicly with their partners, the bad mom funny meme posters ( that’s my go to) , the political fighters, the drunk posters and on and on. It’s a damn minefield.

[VelociRapture]

1 hour ago, Audrey2 said:

Not only this, she also has thatbperiod from about 18 months until around two and a half, when the child is really frustrated because he or she has their own will but can't communicate it with the grown-ups. about a year later it gets really bad too, when the kid is verbal enough to tell you exactly what they want and are very highly I rate it you won't do what they have asked you to do.

and with Felicity being a daughter, I don't even know that we want to go into the tween and teen years!

So. Much. This. I have a two year, so I’m living it right now. It’s equal parts hysterical and infuriating. I think we’re dojng a decent job at helping her through those big emotional moments, but it’s definitely not easy.

But im going to agree with @SorenaJand @singsingsing. Felicity being a girl really doesn’t guarantee that the teens years will be more difficult. Boys can be just as difficult to raise during that period of time and it really depends on the individuals involved.

[SassyPants]

1 hour ago, SorenaJ said:

Teens don't have to be bad. I was a very mild and easy-going teenager. I would always do my homework, made a good effort in school, would visit my grandma every day after school, I didn't drink, go to parties, have sex, do drugs, or anything that would make my parents nervous. I was only a bit temperamental one day of the month, the first day of my period. Otherwise I was a very exemplary teenager. No yelling or door slamming. 

So was I, and my own daughter, who had been easy in every way up until those years, was NOT. It was like a double gut punch-

[Mama Mia]

2 hours ago, SassyPants said:

So was I, and my own daughter, who had been easy in every way up until those years, was NOT. It was like a double gut punch-

I feel for your parents. I was that type, super goody-goody, cooperative, rule follower - until puberty. Then I was a straight terror for many years. 

I got lucky- I guess-  with my kids- the ones who were easy children , were easy teens, the hard children were hard teens. Although even my nice, rule following oldest had her share of slammed doors, and she did some of the same bad behaviors as her more wild siblings- she was just much better at hiding it! 

[SapphireSlytherin]

Y’all. Jinger’s instagram photo/post isn’t a gushy motherhood post!

It’s an anti-abortion post. 

[albireo]

21 hours ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

Y’all. Jinger’s instagram photo/post isn’t a gushy motherhood post!

It’s an anti-abortion post. 

I'd actually go a step farther and say it's a quiverfull post.

[cascarones]

 

On 12/12/2018 at 1:47 PM, AliceInFundyland said:

I actually have a question for @cascarones, if you don’t mind. We all know his church is small. You have some knowledge of the Christian “scene” in San Antonio. Do you have any speculation, idle or otherwise, as to what or who he might be trying to align himself with? 

The antiCatholic stuff always bewilders me. Do you know of other churches or individuals who espouse that nonsense?

Timeline wise, Jeremy moved to San Antonio when Vision Forum (based here) was still big. Vision Forum imploded in 2013/2014 and splintered into a lot of smaller strip mall churches/ home churches. Probably how he wound up at GCC, so I would assume his target would be something along the lines of reuniting the ex VF crowd into a restyled larger church. Recruited probably through the homeschool groups, guest preaching, Bible studies, podcasts and the Christian exercise scene here that's becoming a popular form of fellowship at the mega church gyms. Cycling with a Purpose, Fitness for Christ.

Also, worth noting that the Sutherland Springs church massacre happened right outside of San Antonio, driving even more dad preaches at home/live streaming and home schooling. 

 Given how many mega churches San Antonio already has I'm not sure if it's his end goal, his preaching style is far too dense to pair with a light show and rock worship band. Oak Hills (Max Lucado) and Cornerstone would be my guess, Max Lucado has trashed on Ebil Catholics every time I've gone. I know Jeremy is familiar with his writing at least.

CBC seems to be where most ex Catholics wind up, besides Episcopalians and Methodists, Catholics are used as the example of doing everything wrong/ aren't real Christians. A friend's parent got elected to be the president of a Lutheran church by campaigning on a "I hate Catholics the most" platform.

[MargaretElliott]

I volunteer with middle schoolers and high schoolers. I love them all dearly. They make me see the world through fresh eyes, without being jaded by the trials adulthood has thrown at me. They want to make the world a better place, and they haven't yet given up on the idea that they can.

They are also complete shitlords sometimes.

Motherhood is amazing, but it's also haaaaaaaard, I don't have any kids and I know that. Maybe Jinger is just pretending it's all rainbows and sunshine- she raised her siblings, after all- but yeah. This post is just an anti-abortion message tied up in a pretty Christian mommy blogger package. I think we're attributing the second part to Jeremy because it's easier to dislike him than Jinger, we want Jinger just to be the submissive tag-along, not coming up with hateful ideas herself... but let's face it. She believes the anti-choice rhetoric, too. Even if it was Jeremy who wrote that paragraph, she agrees with that sentiment, and she chose to post it on her social media. She may be our site's pet fundie, hence the name, but her beliefs are as rotten as the rest of them.

[SassyPants]

On 12/16/2018 at 9:57 PM, cascarones said:

 

Timeline wise, Jeremy moved to San Antonio when Vision Forum (based here) was still big. Vision Forum imploded in 2013/2014 and splintered into a lot of smaller strip mall churches/ home churches. Probably how he wound up at GCC, so I would assume his target would be something along the lines of reuniting the ex VF crowd into a restyled larger church. Recruited probably through the homeschool groups, guest preaching, Bible studies, podcasts and the Christian exercise scene here that's becoming a popular form of fellowship at the mega church gyms. Cycling with a Purpose, Fitness for Christ.

Also, worth noting that the Sutherland Springs church massacre happened right outside of San Antonio, driving even more dad preaches at home/live streaming and home schooling. 

 Given how many mega churches San Antonio already has I'm not sure if it's his end goal, his preaching style is far too dense to pair with a light show and rock worship band. Oak Hills (Max Lucado) and Cornerstone would be my guess, Max Lucado has trashed on Ebil Catholics every time I've gone. I know Jeremy is familiar with his writing at least.

CBC seems to be where most ex Catholics wind up, besides Episcopalians and Methodists, Catholics are used as the example of doing everything wrong/ aren't real Christians. A friend's parent got elected to be the president of a Lutheran church by campaigning on a "I hate Catholics the most" platform.

I don't know, most of the people in my Unitarian Universalist Fellowship are ex Roman Catholics-

[WiseGirl]

2 hours ago, MargaretElliott said:

They are also complete shitlords sometimes.

Yes they can be! 

Right now, a week before winter break, trying to teach middle schoolers is like trying to herd cats. 

 

[cascarones]

12 hours ago, SassyPants said:

I don't know, most of the people in my Unitarian Universalist Fellowship are ex Roman Catholics-

I think it varies place to place, but more importantly why people left and what they missed spiritually. For example, the Vuolos are ex RC, but went the "Bible saturated" Calvinist route. 

[beepy13]

22 hours ago, WiseGirl said:

Yes they can be! 

Right now, a week before winter break, trying to teach middle schoolers is like trying to herd cats. 

 

YES.

"No, you can't 'do nothing' today. Yes, we are still doing work. Yes, the rules still apply. Go sit down. SHHHHHHH." ?

[Rachel333]

On 12/15/2018 at 10:56 AM, singsingsing said:

Why with her being a daughter? I think fundie boys get just as much pressure, brainwashing and punishment during their tween and teen years, sadly enough. 

In terms of what it's like to grow up fundie, I actually do think it's worse for girls. Boys get a lot too, but there's an added layer for girls. I've talked to my brother, who grew up in the same environment I did, about the beliefs we were raised with and I used to assume that we had pretty much the same experience, but it became apparent that we actually had very different experiences because of being different sexes. There's just so much extra guilt that you get as a girl about modesty and submitting to men and the prejudice fundies have about women and education and careers that boys just don't get. I've participated in a lot of other discussions now with other ex-fundies and I definitely think there's a lot more that women have to work through after deconversion than men do. That's not to say it's easy for men at all, just that there's an extra layer of stuff to get through for women.

I think the post you were replying to wasn't really talking about fundie stuff though and instead was just implying that girls in general are harder to deal with as teenagers, and I definitely disagree with that.

[singsingsing]

26 minutes ago, Rachel333 said:

I think the post you were replying to wasn't really talking about fundie stuff though and instead was just implying that girls in general are harder to deal with as teenagers, and I definitely disagree with that.

Admittedly, I thought that too, but I wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt. ? 

And I agree with you. I think boys and girls in that environment overall get similar amounts of brainwashing/pressure/etc. but the girls still have a harder time of it, if that makes any sense at all.

[miss_batson]

Felicity is 5 months old 

And Jinger is cooking with fresh vegetables. It looks so much more nicer than Jills

 

[DundeeUnFundie]

Is it bad that I'm going to feel a little sorry for Jill if Jinger becomes the 'foodie Duggar?' With Jinger's artistic eye and her going to trendy cafes/traveling with Jeremy, she would be quite good at that. And I feel like it's been discussed that Jill seems to like/ tries to stay relevant with food blog posts because it gives her a different angle from her sisters' posts

[Pretzel]

On 12/19/2018 at 12:54 AM, MargaretElliott said:

I volunteer with middle schoolers and high schoolers. [...]

They are also complete shitlords sometimes.

As are most people after puberty. 

 

2 hours ago, miss_batson said:

And Jinger is cooking with fresh vegetables. It looks so much more nicer than Jills

...which is definitely not a hard thing to accomplish. 

[lumpentheologie]

2 hours ago, miss_batson said:

Felicity is 5 months old 

 

I vote Felicity for cutest Duggar baby.  (Although Gideon is a close second.) Those chubby legs and that smile just pull at my childfree heartstrings. 

It will be so sad watching them break her spirit over the next 10 or so years, telling her she's an evil evil sinner to deserves to go to Hell as soon as she's old enough to be scared of that. ?