Ex-Gay Hipster Fundies live in an airstream

[persuas1ve]

12 hours ago, MarblesMom said:

WTH is "sleep training?"

Usually it’s Ferberizing or the cry it out method. There are some other methods like the “No Cry Sleep Solution,” but usually when I’ve heard it referred to as “sleep training” it’s some version of cry it out.

[Lurky]

11 hours ago, PumaLover said:

If you're gay, you're gay, cool. No one cares.

No, this is not true at all.  I've been out gay for over 20 years, and it's frankly offensive to tell me "no one cares", when I've experienced a ton of homophobia, both personally and through politicians, religious leaders, and so on. 

My partner had "pray away the gay" church BS, and it was super painful and horrible - but not least because she chose it because she felt she had to.  Ultimately she came to the conclusion that God wouldn't have made her this way, destined to be alone or live a lie, and left her church - but she lost a load of friends, a sibling, a community who very very much care that she's gay, and that still hurts.  And just look at all the Fundies we follow who equate homosexuality with pedophilia and unspeakable horrors, on a daily basis.  I bet right now someone FJ follows is writing/saying something homophobic right now.

[formergothardite]

13 hours ago, MarblesMom said:

WTH is "sleep training?"

Kelly Bates was a big baby sleep trainer. She used Ezzo where you start the moment the baby comes home from the hospital. Basically the babies cry until they learn crying doesn't bring comfort and they give up or they cry until it is the scheduled time for them to be held/fed/changed/whatever. 

There are some gentle ways to encourage sleep but when fundie type folks use the term "sleep training" it is typically a harsh method. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

Yeah, there’s a very very wide range of sleep training. I sat and held my toddler’s hand and sang him songs as a sort of sleep training. I hate that sleep training is lumped altogether because there are a ton of different methods. I imagine this blogger is doing “cry it out” but that’s actually pretty difficult when you live in an airstream. 

[Briefly]

10 hours ago, Terrie said:

I always suspect that those "ex-gays" who actually make it are really bi, just generally more often attracted to the same sex. No miracle in finding someone of the opposite sex, jut a matter of timing and odds.

I have wondered about that myself.  I am bi, dated both and just happened to wind up married to a man.  I have referred to our problems before, things are not the best. But it has nothing to do with him being male.  It's just the specific people we are.  (Also, we have worked on things and are continuing to, and things are a lot better.  I feel a lot better about "us" than I did a few months ago.  None of that has anything to do with sexual preference, I just thought maybe I should update a bit). However, if we did decide to split I would probably not be interested in being with anyone but if I did decide to get back in the dating game I would probably prefer to date a woman again.

Anyway.  I have my suspicions about my mother, as I have mentioned before.  I have a cousin who has been out of the closet for decades and I have at least one cousin that I have suspicions about.  I don't necessarily think it's hereditary, but it does seem that it is in "clusters" in families  if that makes any sense!

[PennySycamore]

12 hours ago, Howl said:

Yeah, another Bruce fan!  

I learned about Bruce here on FJ (maybe from you, @Howl) and decided to subscribe to his blog.  He had a post the other day about something that Lori Alexander said.  

When someone says sleep training, I don't usually consider the suggestion in Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solutions to be part of sleep training.  When much younger moms talk about sleep training, though, they might. However, sleep training usually entails some form of crying it out.  Ferber, btw, has moderated his stance in recent years.  He does not advise starting his methods so early as he used to.  And there are worse "authorities" on sleep training.  One pediatrician held that the baby should just be left to cry and not be tended to at all in the Ferber manner.  

[meowfundiecatz]

Trigger Warning: Sexual Assault

Spoiler

His Story:

http://changedmovement.com/stories//david-reece

It seems many of the stories start the same, involving sexual assault or molestation. But not all.

 

 

[OGEmoji]

On 11/30/2018 at 1:51 AM, MarblesMom said:

WTH is "sleep training?"

Ignoring your crying baby with the idea that it needs to learn to self soothe. Babies cry for a reason, and comfort is a need just like food and shelter. But somehow people have justified ignoring their crying infants in the name of sleep training. I never could do it, when my baby cried I always came to her. My baby is now 6 and I still come when she needs me. To me, that's part of the gig.

 I can't imagine why it would be so difficult to go comfort a crying baby in an airstream? You have to walk what, like 6 feet?

[JermajestyDuggar]

Sleep is extremely important to parents too. I say this as someone who was so exhausted I was hallucinating because my child was up constantly through the night for over a year. I understand the desperation. That’s why I try not to jump to the conclusion that someone is just putting their newborn down and walking away for the entire night. I’m hoping this woman is doing a gentler sleep training method. But I get irrationally angry when people who have never dealt with long term sleep deprivation become judgmental of those who have and are trying desperately to get their child to sleep. 

[Howl]

59 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I say this as someone who was so exhausted I was hallucinating because my child was up constantly through the night for over a year.

Every year when summer rolls around there are tragic instances of people forgetting that they have left their baby in the car, leading to hot car deaths.  I've long suspected that at least some of those instances of forgetting are related to extreme sleep deprivation, sometimes combined with hormonal imbalance.

[JermajestyDuggar]

4 minutes ago, Howl said:

Every year when summer rolls around there are tragic instances of people forgetting that they have left their baby in the car, leading to hot car deaths.  I've long suspected that at least some of those instances of forgetting are related to extreme sleep deprivation, sometimes combined with hormonal imbalance.

Not to mention all the car accidents that happen every single day due to sleep deprivation. The only car accident I ever caused was due to sleep deprivation after being up 36 hours straight (work related). Not all sleep deprivation car accidents are due to children being up all night. But I’m sure some are. Sleep is vital to our overall health and well-being. It affects every area of our lives. You don’t truly understand it’s importance until it’s gone. 

[squiddysquid]

 

Sorry, wrong forum

[SecularMusic]

10 hours ago, meowfundiecatz said:

Trigger Warning: Sexual Assault

  Hide contents

His Story:

http://changedmovement.com/stories//david-reece

It seems many of the stories start the same, involving sexual assault or molestation. But not all.

 

 

It also seems like they all believe that bc they wanted to change and did, all gays should be able to become heterosexual if they want

[Briefly]

I think the Briefly daughter's first sleeping through the night was when she was around 4 months but I don't remember exactly. I can remember being so tired I could hardly function a couple of times.  One time in particular, I think I actually fell asleep in front of the sink, I was washing dishes and pretty much all I remember is Mr. Briefly suddenly being there and taking the dish brush out of my hand, turning me in the direction of the bedroom and I guess I must have made it to bed but I don't remember the trip! Babies are tiring, and they are also noisy.  I always felt like if she was crying, there was a reason and since that was the only way she could communicate, then that's why she cried.  The cry-it-out method that I was told about by a friend was to let her cry just a minute, not a very long time at all and not to wait if it was a pain cry for example, then listen to see if she continued.  If she quit, then it was ok, but if she continued then she needed something. But I didn't really do that beyond once or twice, because I felt like I needed to take care of her and see why she was crying.

[AlwaysExcited]

On 11/30/2018 at 3:55 PM, Spinosaurus said:

@AlwaysExcited, yes, I'm afraid Jesus does only talk to straight people.  The good news, though, is that if you pray hard enough he'll turn you straight, and then you can get your leak fixed for free.

Well, a plumber just refused to take money for fixing it* AND didn't ask me to change my sexuality, AND gave an advice on one other problem, soooo... 

*Small issue, it turns out. Took him about a minute. 

ETA: I know the thread moved on, but the second he refused the money I thought about this comment and almost burst out laughing in front of the plumber. 

[picklepizzas]

On 11/30/2018 at 9:30 AM, Terrie said:

I always suspect that those "ex-gays" who actually make it are really bi, just generally more often attracted to the same sex. No miracle in finding someone of the opposite sex, jut a matter of timing and odds.

yeah my first thought is always 'i hope to god they are bi' bc the alternative is so depressing 

 

ETA: Whoa-ho-hoooo! Take a look at their "Sacramento" instagram story. It is something else. They are part of a book/group called "Changed" about men giving up the gay lifestyle. They gave away copies to congressmen to witness. They were petitioning against a bill that would, according to them, take away an adult's right to ask for counseling about changing their sexual orientation (SOMEHOW i suspect the actual bill is more nuanced than that), but lolz'd that she made a desperate plea to "not take away a person's CHOICE" bc you know they're probs hard-line pro-life. (altho I don't know for sure so I guess I'm making an assumption by association here). 

[akinom]

None of those Changed people seem to care about their same sex partners. Like, one woman says she went to counselling after every time she and her girlfriend had sex. Imagine that! ”Are we done? I need to see my counsellor.” 2-3 times a day!?

[livinginthelight]

On 12/5/2018 at 3:45 PM, picklepizzas said:

Take a look at their "Sacramento" instagram story. It is something else. They are part of a book/group called "Changed" about men giving up the gay lifestyle. They gave away copies to congressmen to witness. They were petitioning against a bill that would, according to them, take away an adult's right to ask for counseling about changing their sexual orientation (SOMEHOW i suspect the actual bill is more nuanced than that), but lolz'd that she made a desperate plea to "not take away a person's CHOICE" bc you know they're probs hard-line pro-life. (altho I don't know for sure so I guess I'm making an assumption by association here). 

Actually, the bill wasn't that nuanced.  There was a recent bill coming up for a vote in California which would completely ban conversion therapy, which seeks to change the sexual orientation of the client to heterosexuality.

Conversion therapy is already illegal for clients under the age of 18 in California but is legal for clients over 18. The bill stated that conversion therapy causes such damage to clients that it should be outlawed. It was quite controversial even among liberals, with the thinking of why should we tell adults how they can spend their money? https://www.latimes.com/opinion/op-ed/la-oe-friedersdorf-gay-conversion-20180427-story.html

The bill was dropped by its author in August of this year.

[NakedKnees]

22 minutes ago, livinginthelight said:

Actually, the bill wasn't that nuanced.  There was a recent bill coming up for a vote in California which would completely ban conversion therapy, which seeks to change the sexual orientation of the client to heterosexuality.

Conversion therapy is already illegal for clients under the age of 18 in California but is legal for clients over 18. The bill stated that conversion therapy causes such damage to clients that it should be outlawed. It was quite controversial even among liberals, with the thinking of why should we tell adults how they can spend their money? https://www.latimes.com/opinion/op-ed/la-oe-friedersdorf-gay-conversion-20180427-story.html

The bill was dropped by its author in August of this year.

As a Californian who would likely vote for a proposition like that... isn't gay conversion therapy actually that dangerous?  I'm under the impression that it arguably is. It just doesn't strike me as that unjust to have to make people go out of state to seek it. Of course, I'm also talking about an injustice that would affect gay people specifically so if I'm wrong, then it's an injustice that specifically impacts an already oppressed group. I can see how it's a bit tricky... but yeah, I think I'd vote to ban gay conversion therapy.

Also, this couple!! What a hot mess. That Instagram title is definitely an in joke... it would be such a wacky coincidence if not.

FWIW, I also identify as bisexual and agree that a lot of these "ex gay" couples who "make it work" are probably experiencing some level of sexual orientation fluidity. I'm always surprised that this possibility isn't discussed more in circles that are critical of conversion therapy.

However, this post sure reads like it's about a deep friendship and not a physically passionate/intimate sexual relationship:

 

[Lurky]

@NakedKnees Conversion "therapy" is unproven, untested, and dangerous because it's been shown that it can bring on depression and suicidal thoughts.  It's condemned by every serious psychiatric/psychological body here in the UK, because it promises something that it can never deliver.

I think attitudes to it are different in sections of the US, where there seems to be more tolerance (in some groups) for "choosing to spend money on wacko BS 'treatments' = freedom", but it's been banned in the UK (rightly) because it's ultimately fraudulent to offer it, as there's no evidence it works, and a ton of evidence that it harms.

More on the UK situation: https://www.stonewall.org.uk/campaign-groups/conversion-therapy

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-44686374

 

[ladyaudley]

Oh dear. What a trainwreck, and a terrible photogenic one too that people will utilise to push harmful "therapy" on their children. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

There are different therapies that were done in the past, but are now banned because they directly cause harm. I don’t have an issue with conversion therapy being banned. But Americans really can be very “it’s my money so let me do what I want with it.” 

[PennySycamore]

I finished Boy Erased by Garrard Connolly just the other day.  Garrard  was sent to "Love in Action" in Memphis and talks about how damaging the "therapy" was.  Christianity already has a bunch of dying to self crap in it and Love in Action seems to take that idea to an extreme.  Many of the people he met at Love in Action were suicidal.  Garrard and his mom noticed that the people on the program's brochure had exaggerated, ungenuine smiles on their faces.  Fortunately for Garrard,  he sensed that the only way to succeed in Love in Action was to lose who you  were as individual as much as possible.  At the end of the first week, when a counselor demanded to know why he was angry with his father and Garrard knew that he wasn't,  Garrrard stood up and shouted "This is crazy!" and left LIA for good.

[JermajestyDuggar]

The Activist mommy Is very into the conversion stuff. She is always posting stories of gay people who were saved by Christ and are living a straight life now. Her oldest two daughters spew the garbage too. Her oldest 2 are just like her. TAM used to mostly focus on abortion and she went to PP every week to protest (along with her litter). Now she is focused on a wider range of things. She still protests at abortion clinics but she also has marches with ex gay people. They are completely pitiful and barely attended by anyone. She’s going to find out soon that there’s more support for the anti abortion protests. Currently TAM is hating on Lauren Daigle for saying she doesn’t know if being gay is a sin because she’s not god. She’s sending her little humpers over to her page to criticize her on social media. Just because LD said she didn’t know. These people are so hateful and nasty. One actually said it’s better to have committed suicide and saved after conversion therapy, than to be alive with a lost soul. That is what these people believe. It’s beyond disturbing. 

[DarkAnts]

1) When did Jesus condemn homosexuals and transsexuals? I have not seen that in the Bible. I hate it that people use Jesus to justify their hate. Jesus wanted everyone to be treated as equals. He broke purity laws.

2) I am asexual. I have been told that sex would fix that. I am not the only asexual who has been told that. Some are even sexually assaulted. People just can’t accept that there is more to life than sex.