Ex-Gay Hipster Fundies live in an airstream

[singsingsing]

Well, this is sad.

I just want to point out that it's impossible to tell whether someone is gay (or bi, or straight, or whatever) based on appearance, behaviour, mannerisms, or lack of romantic interests. I am sure that there are people who believe I'm gay or asexual based on their observations of my life. They're welcome to believe that, but they're completely wrong.

Just now, DarkAnts said:

2) I am asexual. I have been told that sex would fix that. I am not the only asexual who has been told that. Some are even sexually assaulted. People just can’t accept that there is more to life than sex.

It's terrible. I'm not asexual, but sex is not a priority or a motivating factor for me, and I've experienced the same judgement. It's like there are people who not only don't understand, they get angry. I don't get it. Let me live my life, and you live yours. Beyond certain people who want to have sex with me, how could my being celibate possibly affect anyone negatively in any way? Sometimes I think there's so much shame surrounding sex in our society that certain people take others not having sex as a personal insult or affront. Not every celibate person is some sort of holier-than-thou saving-my-special-mythical-virginity-till-marriage religious zealot, or a basement-dwelling desperate creep. Slut shaming is a terrible thing, but shaming people for not having sex is just as bad. 

[DarkAnts]

Growing up my abusive mother insisted that I was homosexual because I was not dating anyone. She saw this as a bad thing. I no longer have contact with her.

I did not know asexuality was a thing. I thought something was wrong with me. I finally did a google search about people who don’t have sexual desires. I was relieved to know that there was nothing wrong with me. My family has supported me. They did not question anything. They love me unconditionally. Other people are not so accepting. Some homosexuals don’t consider us part of the rainbow. 

[Terrie]

43 minutes ago, DarkAnts said:

2) I am asexual. I have been told that sex would fix that. I am not the only asexual who has been told that. Some are even sexually assaulted. People just can’t accept that there is more to life than sex.

I've heard that one, too. It's not a food that I just have never tried, you know? I'm not going to try it and magically like it. 

[FeministShrew]

My oldest (mid-20s now) is genderfluid. For awhile she identified & presented as male, used a masculine form of her name & asked for male pronouns. In the last couple of years she began identifying & presenting as female, using her birth name, & requesting feminine pronouns. I supported her completely & still do, but other relatives, especially her dad & my sister, not so much.

So of course after she changes her name back to the feminine version on Facebook & is obviously presenting as female, my sister (who posts horrible things about gay and transgender people) claimed that her prayers & those of her BJU-affiliated IFB church "cured" my daughter of her "sinful delusion." There was even suggestion she had been possessed by a gay demon. I kid you not.

(Using female pronouns & daughter for this because it's easier and for clarity, but during that time he was my son & I proudly used those terms.)

[sleepy_doggos]

Short story: I recently visited my parent's church to help out with their nursery on a busy Sunday. I would never attend otherwise, but my mom specifically asked for help. When I inquired about a certain church attendee ("who is that? He has awesome 70s rocker hair and is wearing a lei") my mom says, "oh, that's steve*! He's a hairstylist! He used to be gay!" I turned around, shut my mouth, finished the day, and have never been back even when asked.
That stuff is batshit to me. Plus, I'm closeted bisexual (i think. Definitely closeted something.) and very worried about what my crazy conservative family would say since they believe that people can really convert sexual identities.

*not his real name

My oldest (mid-20s now) is genderfluid. For awhile she identified & presented as male, used a masculine form of her name & asked for male pronouns. In the last couple of years she began identifying & presenting as female, using her birth name, & requesting feminine pronouns. I supported her completely & still do, but other relatives, especially her dad & my sister, not so much.
So of course after she changes her name back to the feminine version on Facebook & is obviously presenting as female, my sister (who posts horrible things about gay and transgender people) claimed that her prayers & those of her BJU-affiliated IFB church "cured" my daughter of her "sinful delusion." There was even suggestion she had been possessed by a gay demon. I kid you not.
(Using female pronouns & daughter for this because it's easier and for clarity, but during that time he was my son & I proudly used those terms.)

That is incredibly rude of your sister. I admire that you've provided support to your child no matter what [emoji175]

[Briefly]

8 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

The Activist mommy Is very into the conversion stuff. She is always posting stories of gay people who were saved by Christ and are living a straight life now. Her oldest two daughters spew the garbage too. Her oldest 2 are just like her. TAM used to mostly focus on abortion and she went to PP every week to protest (along with her litter). Now she is focused on a wider range of things. She still protests at abortion clinics but she also has marches with ex gay people. They are completely pitiful and barely attended by anyone. She’s going to find out soon that there’s more support for the anti abortion protests. Currently TAM is hating on Lauren Daigle for saying she doesn’t know if being gay is a sin because she’s not god. She’s sending her little humpers over to her page to criticize her on social media. Just because LD said she didn’t know. These people are so hateful and nasty. One actually said it’s better to have committed suicide and saved after conversion therapy, than to be alive with a lost soul. That is what these people believe. It’s beyond disturbing. 

I guess then that I must have been converted somewhere in the past 30-ish years of my marriage to a man, and that the fact that I had a girlfriend in the years before I met Mr. Briefly doesn't count?

She's an idiot.  Conversion Therapy is harmful, punitive, damaging, whatever other words fit, and it should never happen.

I commented to Mr. Briefly while ago about conversion therapy and how people that claim to have been converted because they are with a partner of the opposite sex are probably in fact bi.  He said he'd never thought about that, about ex-gay and didn't realize that it is actually a thing, but that it made perfect sense (what I said, not that they used to be gay but now aren't.)  But then he did ask me if I'm still bi because I've been married to him for so long?  Which I am, and he understood, but he also said that was something that he had never really thought about before.  Which probably does explain why so many people think gay can be cured.

6 hours ago, FeministShrew said:

My oldest (mid-20s now) is genderfluid. For awhile she identified & presented as male, used a masculine form of her name & asked for male pronouns. In the last couple of years she began identifying & presenting as female, using her birth name, & requesting feminine pronouns. I supported her completely & still do, but other relatives, especially her dad & my sister, not so much.

So of course after she changes her name back to the feminine version on Facebook & is obviously presenting as female, my sister (who posts horrible things about gay and transgender people) claimed that her prayers & those of her BJU-affiliated IFB church "cured" my daughter of her "sinful delusion." There was even suggestion she had been possessed by a gay demon. I kid you not.

(Using female pronouns & daughter for this because it's easier and for clarity, but during that time he was my son & I proudly used those terms.)

I would have torn my sister a new one, or anybody for that matter that said something so awful.  I hope your daughter does not feel bad or less-than, and that she realizes just how sad and disgusting that was for her aunt to say.  I would probably have also cut off all contact with my sister if she were to do something like that.  Just my opinion!  I'm glad that your daughter knows you are in her corner and support her.  Too many parents don't support their children, which is horrible. 

3 hours ago, sleepy_doggos said:

Short story: I recently visited my parent's church to help out with their nursery on a busy Sunday. I would never attend otherwise, but my mom specifically asked for help. When I inquired about a certain church attendee ("who is that? He has awesome 70s rocker hair and is wearing a lei") my mom says, "oh, that's steve*! He's a hairstylist! He used to be gay!" I turned around, shut my mouth, finished the day, and have never been back even when asked.
That stuff is batshit to me. Plus, I'm closeted bisexual (i think. Definitely closeted something.) and very worried about what my crazy conservative family would say since they believe that people can really convert sexual identities.

*not his real name

That is incredibly rude of your sister. I admire that you've provided support to your child no matter what

I'm closeted to most of my family, which I am including Mr. Briefly's family in.  I'm out to Mr. Briefly, our daughter, my gay cousin and his partner.  That is my choice.  I hope that you have someone you can consider to be your support at some point, family is not only decided by blood relationship.

[NachosFlandersStyle]

This thread prompted me to go back and check on Emily Thomes, our hellfire-preaching ex-lesbian. She was all over the Lauren Daigle story too (honestly I had never heard of Daigle before now) but Emily also started a minor controversy in her comments section by admitting that she enjoys the Ellen show. gasp!

She's also been bent out of shape recently defending the missionary who was killed in the Sentinel Islands, in case you were looking to read some wild facebook threads tonight.

[feministxtian]

Mr. Xtian and my daughter are both bi. She's married and her husband (he's a saint, I swear) knows. She's pretty much out to everybody but that's because she doesn't give a shit what anybody thinks. Mr. Xtian struggles...I mean, retired military, all that stuff. He's out to me but that's about it. 

I currently am utterly disinterested in sex. Like, I don't care if I ever have sex again. It could be the meds I'm on, it could be my "issues", who knows. I mean, I love Mr. Xtian but would much prefer to never have to get naked again. 

[sleepy_doggos]

I'm closeted to most of my family, which I am including Mr. Briefly's family in.  I'm out to Mr. Briefly, our daughter, my gay cousin and his partner.  That is my choice.  I hope that you have someone you can consider to be your support at some point, family is not only decided by blood relationship.

I have talked to a couple friends I trust and definitely have people in my corner. I just hope that as I start to date women (this is all very new for me, I've never dated any women) that it doesn't cause issues for them because I'm not out to my parents. I honestly don't think I will ever tell my parents unless I want to get married to a woman someday.

On the upside: I have a first date tomorrow!

This thread prompted me to go back and check on Emily Thomes, our hellfire-preaching ex-lesbian. She was all over the Lauren Daigle story too (honestly I had never heard of Daigle before now) but Emily also started a minor controversy in her comments section by admitting that she enjoys the Ellen show. gasp!
She's also been bent out of shape recently defending the missionary who was killed in the Sentinel Islands, in case you were looking to read some wild facebook threads tonight.

I've wondered about her. I'm off to see if there have been any additions to her thread!

[feministxtian]

17 minutes ago, sleepy_doggos said:

On the upside: I have a first date tomorrow!

Hope you have a good time. First dates are tough. 

[sleepy_doggos]

Hope you have a good time. First dates are tough. 

I like her a lot so far so we will see how it goes. We actually met a couple years ago and then I ran across her again on a dating app, so it's nice we've met in person before and I know she's not a creeper.

[feministxtian]

1 minute ago, sleepy_doggos said:

23 minutes ago, feministxtian said:

Hope you have a good time. First dates are tough. 

I like her a lot so far so we will see how it goes. We actually met a couple years ago and then I ran across her again on a dating app, so it's nice we've met in person before and I know she's not a creeper.

So cool to reconnect with someone! May it be all you want. 

[Briefly]

@sleepy_doggos, just relax and be yourself!  Which I know that is sill advice, but it is also usually good advice.  I hope that your date goes well and that you both enjoy it.

[sleepy_doggos]

So cool to reconnect with someone! May it be all you want. 

[mention=25389]sleepy_doggos[/mention], just relax and be yourself!  Which I know that is sill advice, but it is also usually good advice.  I hope that your date goes well and that you both enjoy it.

Thanks friends

[DarkAnts]

I wonder if this couple will end up like a few LDS couples where a gay man married a straight women. They pretend to have the perfect life in hopes that it will one day be true. At some point years later, they realize that it’s not going to happen. Living a lie is not going to make anyone happy.

[lilwriter85]

On 12/8/2018 at 12:59 PM, DarkAnts said:

I wonder if this couple will end up like a few LDS couples where a gay man married a straight women. They pretend to have the perfect life in hopes that it will one day be true. At some point years later, they realize that it’s not going to happen. Living a lie is not going to make anyone happy.

They could also look to Josh and Lolly Weed for inspiration.

[Magenta]

Every single thing about these people is unbearably irritating. ?  It almost seems like some sort of satire but I know it isn't.  Underneath, it is scary though.  'Conform at all costs' is the message and the radicalism/fanaticism is disguised.  

[Lgirlrocks]

I’m a lesbian dating a guy. I have a slew of people I came out to before I started dating my bf. My younger brother was one of them. He asked me if my lesbian phase is over because I’m dating a guy. I told him no. Most people don’t get it. I will always be a lesbian. My man doesn’t care. He knows I love him and want to be with him. If him and I broke up tomorrow I would go back to dating girls. I don’t get how people can “change” who they really are or why they would want to. Being gay is part of who I am. 

[SweetLaurel]

56 minutes ago, Lgirlrocks said:

’m a lesbian dating a guy. I have a slew of people I came out to before I started dating my bf. My younger brother was one of them. He asked me if my lesbian phase is over because I’m dating a guy. I told him no. Most people don’t get it. I will always be a lesbia

Are you my daughter?  Interesting!   She is a lesbian dating a guy - but told me "Mommy, I still really really like girls, but ....Him."    Shoot, I don't care, I loved her last girl friend and it broke my heart when they broke up.   I - don't get it.   I can't imagine dating a female.  It just isn't on my radar ever.   So it's odd to me.  Are you bi?  Is she?  Again, I don't care - and I'm not sure why I think I want a label.  I just don't get it, I guess.    I also guess I don't need to.  But.  Hey - it just fascinates me how other people are.   

[Lgirlrocks]

22 minutes ago, SweetLaurel said:

Are you my daughter?  Interesting!   She is a lesbian dating a guy - but told me "Mommy, I still really really like girls, but ....Him."    Shoot, I don't care, I loved her last girl friend and it broke my heart when they broke up.   I - don't get it.   I can't imagine dating a female.  It just isn't on my radar ever.   So it's odd to me.  Are you bi?  Is she?  Again, I don't care - and I'm not sure why I think I want a label.  I just don't get it, I guess.    I also guess I don't need to.  But.  Hey - it just fascinates me how other people are.   

I get asked if I’m bi. Almost wish I was. It would be easier for people to understand if I was. Heck it doesn’t make sense to me but I love him and that’s what matters right?

[Briefly]

40 minutes ago, Lgirlrocks said:

I get asked if I’m bi. Almost wish I was. It would be easier for people to understand if I was. Heck it doesn’t make sense to me but I love him and that’s what matters right?

Yep, love is what matters!  In whatever form it takes, same sex, opposite sex, etc.

I can see how it might be confusing, are you one or the other, as far as other people's opinions.  But yours is what matters, and if you are happy and he is happy then that's really what is important.

[JermajestyDuggar]

Humans have a need to identify and label everything. It can make things easier. But it can make things harder when there just isn’t a label that fits the description. I’m sure one day there will be better descriptive labels that help people understand gay/straight/bi/pansexual. Same with gender. It’s so hard when a person doesn’t feel as though they fit into one of the TWO genders. Only two! Of course some people don’t feel as though thet fit into either. Hell I’ve always felt female but I’ve never fit the perfect female mold. I’m just not feminine enough for some people. Oh well that’s their problem I guess.

[Lisafer]

1 hour ago, Lgirlrocks said:

I get asked if I’m bi. Almost wish I was. It would be easier for people to understand if I was. Heck it doesn’t make sense to me but I love him and that’s what matters right?

I always enjoy your posts. I admit it does sound confusing to me, though. Are you sexually attracted to him, but not to men generally speaking? Is that right? And if that's too personal a question, I apologize!

[Black Aliss]

Speaking of conversion therapy, this just in:

MORMON GAY CONVERSION THERAPIST NOW ‘CHOOSING TO PURSUE LIFE’ AS HOMOSEXUAL

Initially I just assumed it was The Onion, but no. . .

Quote

The announcement was revealed by fellow gay conversation advocate Rich Wyler, founder of the People Can Change organization, in a post to a private Facebook group obtained by Truth Wins Out (TWO), a group who fight against anti-LGBT prejudice and discrimination.

<snip>

In a further statement to TWO, Matheson, a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, confirmed the statement from Wyler, adding his time in a straight marriage and the “ex-gay” world was “genuine and sincere and a rich blessing to me.”

“I remember most of it with fondness and gratitude for the joy and growth it caused in me and many others. But I had stopped growing and was starting to die,” he said. “I wasn’t faking it all those years. I’m not renouncing my past work or my LDS faith. And I’m not condemning mixed-orientation marriages. I continue to support the rights of individuals to choose how they will respond to their sexual attractions and identity. With that freedom, I am now choosing to pursue life as a gay man.”

Bolding is mine. He can say that without even a trace of irony?!? That is not what he has been doing for the last 15 years. Fuck him and the horse he rode in on.

 https://www.newsweek.com/mormon-gay-conversion-therapist-now-choosing-pursue-life-homosexual-1299757?fbclid=IwAR21VKikh0Ykvi-Rcca2q77ymtwNfJGn04S5xuEsx0p_YTvh7bDEahxwXBQ