Bro Gary Hawkins 9: He still makes my dinner come back up

[Spinosaurus]

8 minutes ago, Dandruff said:

Get a job, Gary.

There's no need to use language like that.

[PumaLover]

OK folks, it's Gary and Becky's anniversary. Y'all should be proud of me for figuring out how to take screenshots on a PC laptop (I'm a Mac person). I wonder if Becky knew exactly what she was signing up for on this day, or if it was like when I got married to my fundie ex in 2001. Everything seems so exciting and romantic at that time, and then reality sucks. Like, really sucks. 

In the second post he talks about how he's guilty. Not sure if that's just the standard Christian-speak for always feeling guilty cuz you have thoughts of your own, or if he's owning up to his past. I would really love to know. 

Spoiler

I was guilty

 

[Dandruff]

He wouldn't want to do it with no one else.  How touching.  He has such a way with words.

[Spinosaurus]

Quote

It my wife and my anniversary

Well, thanks for clearing that up.  I wondered who it was that you had married.

 

Quote

wouldn't want to do it with no one else

TOO MUCH INFORMATION.

[Carol]

Nothing says Happy Anniversary like a dinner consisting of 3 desserts, two big ol' bowls of mashed potatoes and baked beans...and something brown.  

Truth is, I'd love to eat like that.  It has all my favorite ingredients...salt sugar and fat. ?

[Spinosaurus]

The three main food groups.

It sounds nice, though, apart from the ominous-sounding 'something brown.'

[keepercjr]

GROSS!!  Gary scrub your nasty hands and nails!  This pic is from their anniversary dinner.

Also this is the couple they were with (run the church maybe?).  They look like an alternate Gary and Becky to me!

 

[Dandruff]

Nothing says romance like filthy hands and baked beans on the anniversary of your honeymoon...

[AuLait]

I'm way behind on my Gary news, but I just got to the Thanksgiving post and had to say that his deep fried turkey looks hideous and I can't even tell what is going on with all the lumps and bumps it has. None of mine have ever looked like that.

I've deep fried turkeys 3 times, including this year, and they are delicious and beautiful and if done properly are no more unhealthy than a regular roasted turkey, well, except you can eat every inch of crispy salty turkey skin whereas on  a regular turkey the soggy underside is  skipped over. We used 3 gals of peanut oil to fry and after we strained and cooled the oil, we had almost exactly 3 gals left! This year I did what was called a southern rub of brown sugar, dry mustard, file powder, smoked and regular paprika, salt and pepper. It was so so good!

Alright, back to reading through all the posts and catching up  That turkey was just too weird not to comment on....

[Spinosaurus]

@AuLait, this is only tangentially related to the topic, but does using peanut oil give it a peanutty taste?  Your southern rub sounds delicious, in contrast to any Southern rub Bro G might give to anybody.

...

The devil made me do that.

[Briefly]

1 hour ago, Spinosaurus said:

@AuLait, this is only tangentially related to the topic, but does using peanut oil give it a peanutty taste?  Your southern rub sounds delicious, in contrast to any Southern rub Bro G might give to anybody.

...

The devil made me do that.

I haven't noticed a peanut-y flavor when I've had it.  But it is very good!  If done right, that is.

[FundamentallyShocked]

How does someone who eschews work get dirty nails? Inquiring minds want to know ?

[Dandruff]

3 minutes ago, FundamentallyShocked said:

How does someone who eschews work get dirty nails? Inquiring minds want to know ?

Maybe they've just been that way for a really long time?  I don't assume that he bathes.

 

[Spinosaurus]

It doesn't seem very Gary, does it?

[Don'tlikekoolaid]

He might get his hands dirty working on that broken engine.  I’m really reaching here!

[Katzchen24]

1 hour ago, FundamentallyShocked said:

How does someone who eschews work get dirty nails? Inquiring minds want to know ?

Maybe he dug the heart-shaped potato out of the ground with his bare hands as a token of his everlasting not wanting to do it with anyone else.

@AuLait that rub sounds superb *makes notes*

[Granwych]

19 hours ago, Dandruff said:

He wouldn't want to do it with no one else.  How touching.  He has such a way with words.

I am quite sure that no one else would want to do it with him, unless, of course, $$$ was involved.

[Starrynight]

This one is my favorite:

 

 

Wouldn’t it be wonderful on a billboard along a highway? Guaranteed to convert thousands. ?

 

 

Also- there is another pic from around that same time...they are having dinner in a Chinese restaurant. And the young man in the photo is giving the photographer the best stink eye!  His face reflects what we all feel. ?❤️

[thoughtful]

Hmmmm . . . . three daily meals of fat, starch, salt and more fat, starch and salt, eaten with filthy hands, no exercise and a personality filled with simmering anger.

Gary, you may be meeting your Maker sooner than you expect.

[Dandruff]

3 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Gary, you may be meeting your Maker sooner than you expect.

And, per his own beliefs, wouldn't he have to present his qualifications for Heaven?  I'd watch that.

[Katzchen24]

5 hours ago, Starrynight said:

 

What I like is his hit-or-miss approach to using the word 'want'. I'm not skilled up in Weenese, but it seems to me he's on a 2 of 3 strike rate at the moment. But I'm not sure. Do my excuses want work, or is it that they won't work? I just don't know, and unlike BroHaw, my ignorance makes me sad.

Has he underlined his name so he can remember it?

[Spinosaurus]

3 hours ago, Katzchen24 said:

Has he underlined his name so he can remember it?

Considering that he once put out a leaflet referring to 'the Hawkings family' I think that may be the case.

[Four is Enough]

I do believe that Bro. Gary uses "want" because he means "won't"... perhaps he dictates his posts? Of course, that wouldn't explain the misspellings...

[keepercjr]

I found a Gary action doll ?

[Spinosaurus]

Too thin.  NEXT!