Bro Gary Hawkins 9: He still makes my dinner come back up

[PumaLover]

OK folks. I'm literally only replying to comment on the name of this church and I will be seeing myself to the prayer closet. Forgive me if there is a non-erotic meaning to the name of this church but maybe I should stop working on my book for awhile. I'm getting all worked up. 

February 17th Pleasure Ridge General Baptist Church Louisville KY 

Seriously, I'm a fifth grade boy and my mind is in the gutter.

I do apologize to @Lisafer for the horrible pic I should have put under a spoiler. And I am not sure what the white stuff was on top; maybe mayo? Does that go with hot dogs/weens? (I've been a vegetarian my entire adult life).

In reference to our lord and savior overlord? Trump ? I can't remember if I shared this pic from my vacation to Arizona last month. If not, there's a Trump shop in Quartzsite, AZ where you can shop, show your support AND even take a pic with a cardboard cutout of your idol. 

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

@PumaLover, I couldn't decide between ?, ?, or ? to react to your post, so I settled on ?. But still, I did .

[smittykins]

That’s why I wish we could do multiple reactions.

[Spinosaurus]

Just to say that two of my sponsored searches on Bro Gary's pages are 'dinner good' and 'dinner vegan.'

I don't know what he would think of that.

[keepercjr]

Ok folks.  Gary is looking for some free sound equipment.  Says their equipment needs updating so they can get the sound out to the lost people.  These grifters have no shame.  Their entire existence is due to the handouts of other people.  And they expect them to pony up for more and more.  

i wish I could screen shot this one post as it made me laugh.  Gary has his name written in the “LAMB book of life” with “JESUS blood”.  

[Spinosaurus]

That sounds gruesome.

[Four is Enough]

On 2/25/2019 at 10:57 PM, Starrynight said:

@Don'tlikekoolaid the eggs in that pic ? The yolks look raw but the edges are sort of set?

yuck- give me a plate of scrambled eggs any day...

Yum..... dippy eggs. Dip your toast, dip your home fries, lick the plate.... Yum.

[PumaLover]

Come on, Bro, do something amusing! I miss your videos and your incoherent, babbling posts. I'm stuck at home sick and have read through the Duggar threads and J-Rod and need some new entertainment.

[keepercjr]

Ok folks.  Bro Gary has a fancy new brochure and I WISH I COULD SHARE IT.  The pastor from th church in Ennis designed it and it is written just the way Gary would speak it.  Since it is a brochure can I quote it?  I need to know!

[keepercjr]

Ok folks the lord gave Bro G a blessing by lowering his insurance renewal by $10.  Amen halleluyer!

[PumaLover]

Does that mean they have at least one still-working vee-hickle?

I saw something on their itinerary about how they're going to be taking the bus on tour. I can't remember which bus it is anymore. Or did they only have one bus, but needed multiple engines for it? And does this mean it will actually be up and running?

[Briefly]

1 hour ago, keepercjr said:

Ok folks the lord gave Bro G a blessing by lowering his insurance renewal by $10.  Amen halleluyer!

At least he has insurance!  I can easily see him claiming that God protects him so he doesn't need it.  I can also see him being involved in a accident and doing everything in his power to claim that he was not responsible, even if he was, and fighting tooth and nail to avoid paying anything.

[keepercjr]

4 hours ago, PumaLover said:

Does that mean they have at least one still-working vee-hickle?

I saw something on their itinerary about how they're going to be taking the bus on tour. I can't remember which bus it is anymore. Or did they only have one bus, but needed multiple engines for it? And does this mean it will actually be up and running?

They have the red truck that they grifted last year. They have been living out of that since the bus motor incident.  They plan to get the bus up and running and I can’t wait.  I just know it will be a mess.

[keepercjr]

I checked out Bruce Gerenscer's blog yesterday and this new post caught my eye.  I have often wondered what Gary (and the Rods for that matter) think they will do when they get to retirement age.  They don't pay into Social Security and we know they definitely have zero in savings.  Hell Gary doesn't even have a house.  Just a truck and a non functional bus.  They rely on others to house and feed them.  Do they expect their kids to support them?  Maybe the Rod kids will but I can imagine Gary and Becky's kids wanting nothing to do with them at some point.  At least to the point of not wanting to support them. 

https://brucegerencser.net/2019/03/i-thought-jesus-would-take-care-of-me-when-i-got-old/

(emphasis mine)

Quote

One Tuesday in the early 1980s, I attended a Buckeye Baptist Fellowship Meeting at High Street Baptist Church in Columbus, Ohio. I thoroughly enjoyed the monthly pastors’ fellowships I attended at various Independent Fundamentalist Baptist (IFB) churches. These meetings were a time for me to shoot the breeze with my ministerial colleagues and listen to what I considered, then, to be great preaching. On this particular Tuesday, one of the speakers was Charles Mainous, the pastor at High Street. Mainous was known for his virulent anti-government sermons. At the time, the steeple of his church was red, white and blue, church members carried firearms, and posted warnings on the doors warned government agents of this fact. I had heard him several times before, so I knew what to expect. During his harangue, Mainous said that it was a sin for pastors to pay into Social Security; that it was up to God to take care of his preachers, not the government. If Catholic priests could take a vow of poverty and be tax exempt, so should Baptist preachers. I thought, “he’s right. God called me, God leads me, God talks to me, and God gives me my sermons to preach. Surely, God can take care of me when I get old.” And so, following Mainous’ advice, I filed for exemption from paying social security taxes on my ministerial income (and housing) (IRS Form 4361).

He goes on to say that it was a big mistake and will only collect $600 per month when he files early next year.  Jesus was nowhere to be found when they were in need financially.  With his bad health it is up to his wife to be the breadwinner and has been for a while now.  Gary won't even get that much.  I don't know how much Becky worked but a combined social security income of under $1000 would be my high end estimate for them. 

Edit.  So Gary was "facebooking live" a few minutes ago.  Sounded completely out of breath.  He was walking around filming everyone else pitching in to put up HIS tent for the revival.  I can imagine he is not a hard worker and prefers to order people around rather than to pitch in himself. 

[PumaLover]

3 hours ago, keepercjr said:

Edit.  So Gary was "facebooking live" a few minutes ago.  Sounded completely out of breath.  He was walking around filming everyone else pitching in to put up HIS tent for the revival.  I can imagine he is not a hard worker and prefers to order people around rather than to pitch in himself. 

Well, HE is the preacher so therefore he's the most special and important person there, donchaknow. So I'm sure he had to rest and sit and prepare his sermon to make sure he was ready! I'm sure everyone else was just helping him out to give him time for that. /s

(In the videos and sermons I've seen it looks like he spends exactly zero minutes preparing what he's going to say.)

[Walking Cat Bed]

34 minutes ago, PumaLover said:

(In the videos and sermons I've seen it looks like he spends exactly zero minutes preparing what he's going to say.)

Does BroGHaw believe in "spirit led" church events? Is that in his religious file cabinet?

[FullOfGravy]

On 3/2/2019 at 5:01 PM, keepercjr said:

Ok folks.  Bro Gary has a fancy new brochure and I WISH I COULD SHARE IT.  The pastor from th church in Ennis designed it and it is written just the way Gary would speak it.  Since it is a brochure can I quote it?  I need to know!

Does it have Haymayun in place of punctuation?  Please say it does.

[Lisafer]

4 hours ago, keepercjr said:

I checked out Bruce Gerenscer's blog yesterday and this new post caught my eye.  I have often wondered what Gary (and the Rods for that matter) think they will do when they get to retirement age.  They don't pay into Social Security and we know they definitely have zero in savings.  Hell Gary doesn't even have a house.  Just a truck and a non functional bus.  They rely on others to house and feed them.  Do they expect their kids to support them?  Maybe the Rod kids will but I can imagine Gary and Becky's kids wanting nothing to do with them at some point.  At least to the point of not wanting to support them. 

https://brucegerencser.net/2019/03/i-thought-jesus-would-take-care-of-me-when-i-got-old/

(emphasis mine)

He goes on to say that it was a big mistake and will only collect $600 per month when he files early next year.  Jesus was nowhere to be found when they were in need financially.  With his bad health it is up to his wife to be the breadwinner and has been for a while now.  Gary won't even get that much.  I don't know how much Becky worked but a combined social security income of under $1000 would be my high end estimate for them. 

Edit.  So Gary was "facebooking live" a few minutes ago.  Sounded completely out of breath.  He was walking around filming everyone else pitching in to put up HIS tent for the revival.  I can imagine he is not a hard worker and prefers to order people around rather than to pitch in himself. 

I know of a fundie preacher/music minister who passed away recently after, apparently, doing the same thing (claiming exemption from SS). His wife is left pretty much penniless, and the guy was barely in his grave before his family was doing a Gofundme for expenses. 

The lack of foresight and preparation pisses me right off. Circumstances beyond your control is one thing, but these people are choosing to forgo something that might give their spouse a little security if they die. The New Testament doesn't mention Social Security, but it definitely mentions taking care of your family!

[MarblesMom]

7 hours ago, Walking Cat Bed said:

Is that in his religious file cabinet?

Is there a file cabinet in the truck/RV?

?

[keepercjr]

On 3/5/2019 at 2:34 PM, FullOfGravy said:

Does it have Haymayun in place of punctuation?  Please say it does.

I wish hahaha.  Well for example, Becky is available for “lady conferences”, “if god was to lead you to have us to preach and sing” and ,I kid you not, this is a sentence: “I, and my wife, Becky, and two children that travel with us.”  Another one “Evangelist Gary Hawkins and his family, god has blessed me in that he has called me to preach the good news to America.”

i think the pastor who did this up for them must be only slightly more literate than Gary.  They must have worked on it together and this is what you get.  

[Spinosaurus]

My mind went to a very bad place when I read the words 'lady conferences.'

Please pray for my sinful soul.

 

... Also, should he not have capitalised 'God'?

[keepercjr]

28 minutes ago, Spinosaurus said:

My mind went to a very bad place when I read the words 'lady conferences.'

Please pray for my sinful soul.

 

... Also, should he not have capitalised 'God'?

Sorry that was my mistake.  He did capitalize 

[Lillymuffin]

1 hour ago, Spinosaurus said:

My mind went to a very bad place when I read the words 'lady conferences.'

Please pray for my sinful soul.

Don’t feel bad...you weren’t the only one. 

[catlady]

17 hours ago, keepercjr said:

I kid you not, this is a sentence: “I, and my wife, Becky, and two children that travel with us.”  

this sounds like they are two random kids that aren't even theirs.  like they picked them up on the side of the road.  

[Ozlsn]

On 3/6/2019 at 4:59 AM, keepercjr said:

So Gary was "facebooking live" a few minutes ago.  Sounded completely out of breath.  He was walking around filming everyone else pitching in to put up HIS tent for the revival.

Sounds like Bro Gary's retirement plan is to drop dead of a massive heart attack sooner rather than later. Um... not the best plan I've heard of. Possibly not the worst though.