Chelsy and John Maxwell 6: They're More Frightened of Her than Ashamed

[JermajestyDuggar]

The Bons might burn their paper trash. It wouldn’t surprise me if they did. 

[anjulibai]

Oldest grandson in grandpa Bontrager's lap. How surprising. /sarcasm. 

[fundiefan]

14 hours ago, 0 kids n not countin said:

Their use of paper plates, cutlery, and napkins for a formal dinner really bugs me, not to mention how bad it is for the environment.  I understand that it's a lot of work to use real plates, silverware, and napkins for that many people, but come on, it's a special occasion, why not use your fancy stuff?  If it were being served buffet style it wouldn't bug me as much (though yes, still bad for the environment) but for a formal, sitdown dinner, no, just no (imo anyway).

It amazes me how many people, fundies in particular (my sample size is skewed, I know, because I don't follow non-fundies) who rely on one use products. Even smaller families. 

We used the good china for Thanksgiving. It wasn't formal; we served buffet style. But, it's always a special occurrence when we are together for a sit down meal. So, my great-grandmother's china comes out of my closet and is used. I lugged it all the way to my sister's house.  

The waste is astonishing. The laziness for doing dishes kind of flies in the face of benefits of a big family. Sure, have 15 kids, it's easy! You never have to do dishes! Just buy party size packs of disposable dinnerware at Costco every other week!

[JermajestyDuggar]

I will stick up for the Bontragers. They post many pictures eating and the vast majority of the time they are eating off of regular plates and bowls. This may be one of the first times I’ve seen them eat off of paper plates at home. They are not like the Duggars. Who seem to eat off of paper plates constantly. I’m not going to get too upset if this is a one time deal because they were busy or tired. 

[petrushka]

45 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I will stick up for the Bontragers. They post many pictures eating and the vast majority of the time they are eating off of regular plates and bowls. This may be one of the first times I’ve seen them eat off of paper plates at home. They are not like the Duggars. Who seem to eat off of paper plates constantly. I’m not going to get too upset if this is a one time deal because they were busy or tired. 

Same here. Maybe because at my age I cut a few corners when hosting a holiday gathering.  I try to focus on serving lots of tasty food to my guests.  They don't seem to mind the paper plates and I always buy the sturdiest ones and set a pretty table. Otherwise I rarely use paper.

[OhNoNike]

... at least they were gold paper plates

We usually use really plates. The only time we actually use paper ones is if we have a big gathering.  

[PennySycamore]

@fundiefan,  if we'd had Thanksgiving dinner here at my house, we would have used the good china, a tablecloth and cloth napkins.  We did Thanksgiving dinner at my oldest daughter's house, though, and she has a tiny kitchen.  She chose to use Chinet plates and disposable napkins.  It was her house and, therefore, her call.  She had enough cleaning to do even if she does have a dishwasher without wash plates, silverware and glasses.  She also had to get everything ready for the family's trip to WDW on Saturday.  

[fundiefan]

@PennySycamore - had we not used the china, we'd have used my sister's regular dishes. It was just something we thought was special. 

But, it's what we did / do. We do use paper plates, etc...typically for summer gatherings and our extended family Christmas that is finger food/pot luck. I'm not at all against anyone using disposable dinnerware and I didn't mean to imply I thought we we better because we didn't. 

I just see it as very common among fundie families, for every day and otherwise. The large families in particular, although by no means only the larger ones. When you have numerous children over the age of 8 or so who can wash dishes, why waste the money and add to the damage to the environment? Fundies supposedly raise their girls to be keepers of the home - - yet they use all shortcuts, all the time, and damn anything else. 

And damn, that stuff is expensive! I can't imagine the hit to my budget if I had the stuff around all the time, and I am one person. 

[Melissa1977]

Hot food doesn't taste well in paper plates. Or is it just me? Plus who can cut meat with plastic knives?

I only find paper or plastic plates in children's birthday parties or in outdoor picnics. For me it's really weird a sit down meal with paper plates, no matter it's an informal dinner or a fancy one. Maybe it's just a cultural thing.

[Dru]

5 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I will stick up for the Bontragers. They post many pictures eating and the vast majority of the time they are eating off of regular plates and bowls. This may be one of the first times I’ve seen them eat off of paper plates at home. They are not like the Duggars. Who seem to eat off of paper plates constantly. I’m not going to get too upset if this is a one time deal because they were busy or tired. 

I know lots of people that use disposable dishes for big holiday dinners because they simply don't have enough place settings for everyone.

[Black Aliss]

On 11/28/2018 at 1:19 PM, 0 kids n not countin said:

Their use of paper plates, cutlery, and napkins for a formal dinner really bugs me, not to mention how bad it is for the environment.  I understand that it's a lot of work to use real plates, silverware, and napkins for that many people, but come on, it's a special occasion, why not use your fancy stuff?  If it were being served buffet style it wouldn't bug me as much (though yes, still bad for the environment) but for a formal, sitdown dinner, no, just no (imo anyway).

For me, part of the fun of putting on a feast, or even just a nice meal for Mr. Black and me, is using real linens, the good dishes, silver, and crystal (if it's just the two of us, otherwise cheap IKEA stemware). Don't these people own dishwashers? Even the sterling can go into the dishwasher as long as it doesn't come in contact with any other types of metal.  The table linens get washed, dried, folded, and placed under other linens in the  closet, where they then iron themselves. (Really, or at least they unwrinkle to my admittedly low standards). I can't imagine using plastic solo cups anywhere but at a picnic. 

 

On 11/29/2018 at 10:19 AM, PennySycamore said:

@fundiefan,  if we'd had Thanksgiving dinner here at my house, we would have used the good china, a tablecloth and cloth napkins.  We did Thanksgiving dinner at my oldest daughter's house, though, and she has a tiny kitchen.  She chose to use Chinet plates and disposable napkins.  It was her house and, therefore, her call.  She had enough cleaning to do even if she does have a dishwasher without wash plates, silverware and glasses.  She also had to get everything ready for the family's trip to WDW on Saturday.  

I agree completely. Your house, your call. And I would never get all judgy about using disposable dinnerware when someone invited me to their home.  Unless it was fundies, because I'm already judging them on everything else they do.

[Angelic83]

And thanks to FJ i found another rabbithole to climb into the Hale family. It is funny how small the big fundie community actually is. Time to see if I can find the wudio book mentioned here

[Milly-Molly-Mandy]

I never use table cloths. It’s just one added thing to wash and worry about. A table you can just wipe clean. 

Do people my age have good china? (34)

Enquiring minds want to know...

[JermajestyDuggar]

15 minutes ago, Milly-Molly-Mandy said:

I never use table cloths. It’s just one added thing to wash and worry about. A table you can just wipe clean. 

Do people my age have good china? (34)

Enquiring minds want to know...

No, not really. I’m 36 (the oldest millennial) and none of my same age peers registered for good China when they got married. And neither did any of my younger family members and friends. I think China is often beautiful but it’s completely impractical for my family. I’ve read that millennials tend to want less “stuff” than prior generations.

[Captain Obvious]

28 minutes ago, Milly-Molly-Mandy said:

Do people my age have good china? (34)

Enquiring minds want to know...

I'm 43 (husband a bit older) and we do. However his was inherited from his mum and I will probably inherit more of it from mine. I don't think we would have deliberately gone and bought good china otherwise. 

Silver cutlery on the other hand - I will probably also inherit that and I think I will use it. My mum uses hers at least once a week, not even for special occasions. You can "dress it down", so to speak, with simpler ceramic plates and it still looks good. 

[goldbu]

41 minutes ago, Milly-Molly-Mandy said:

I never use table cloths. It’s just one added thing to wash and worry about. A table you can just wipe clean. 

Do people my age have good china? (34)

Enquiring minds want to know...

I'm 34 also, and I don't have china. I don't see a need for it. Since we'd only use it 2-3 times a year, I don't think it's necessary. Just another thing to store. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

I keep a vinyl table cloth on my table. Don’t laugh at me! It protects my table from my children and it wipes off easily. The only other person I ever knew who had vinyl table cloths was my great grandmother. I’m an old lady on the inside. 

[samurai_sarah]

48 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I keep a vinyl table cloth on my table. Don’t laugh at me! It protects my table from my children and it wipes off easily. The only other person I ever knew who had vinyl table cloths was my great grandmother. I’m an old lady on the inside. 

Nothing to be laughed at for! They are very useful things, for the reasons you stated. I grew up around them, and everyone with kids that I know uses them. Plus, you get to pick seasonal patterns, or just something funny.

[Katzchen24]

5 hours ago, Milly-Molly-Mandy said:

Do people my age have good china? (34)

Yeah, I'm older than you but I don't have good china any more. I used to have 'good' stuff, until I decided that it's no use if no-one ever sees it. I know it's a cliche, but I really came around to the 'you can't take it with you when you die' idea. And frankly, I deserve the good china too.

 

Edited because I can't write in hurry.

[danvillebelle]

I use my grandmother's china as our everyday dishes.  Life is too short not to use beautiful things.

I have 100+ year-old Flow Blue dinner plates, dessert plates and cups & saucers from a great-grandmother; those are the special occasion dishes.  

[nvmbr02]

I'm 38 and I have a couple of sets of china that I love and use. One set belonged to my husband's grandmother and she gave it to me when she moved into the nursing home. The other set I got from my husband shortly after we bought our first home.  I didn't register for china, but we knew we were moving overseas just a few months after getting married so we didn't really get a lot of gifts for our wedding. It is fairly mixed among our friends, some have china and some do not.

For most holidays we use paper plates. We don't use them all that frequently normally. But we don't have a dishwasher and it just takes so long to wash and dry for a big group that it just simplifies things to use paper. Even when we did have a dishwasher we used paper for most of the big gatherings. My china has to be hand washed anyway. We use the china a few times a year though, usually for birthday dinners or holidays we are doing with just the 5 of us or with 1-5 invited guests. 

[Howl]

11 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

No, not really. I’m 36 (the oldest millennial) and none of my same age peers registered for good China when they got married.

There's a hardware/kitchenware/garden stuff store near the Big State University where I live.  Said store is in the heart of the very active sorority/fraternity scene associated with Big State University. One side is the regular hardware stuff with guys in red vests (since 1970!). The other half has the upscale kitchen section and couples do their bridal registry there.  I kid you not, there is china registered there where one cup/saucer is over $200 EACH, which seems a bit much for people in their very early 20s. 

 Not sure if that's everyday China or Sunday best, when the parents come over to see if there's a baby conceived in the $400,000 house they bought for you, even though you're only 2nd year law school. 

Please note: I love this hardware store!  Great place to browse, on either side, and has often saved me from a trip to Lowes or Home Depot!

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 minute ago, Howl said:

There's a hardware/kitchenware/garden stuff store near the Big State University where I live.  Said store is in the heart of the very active sorority/fraternity scene associated with Big State University. One side is the regular hardware stuff with guys in red vests (since 1970!). The other half has the upscale kitchen section and couples do their bridal registry there.  I kid you not, there is china registered there where one cup/saucer is over $200 EACH, which seems a bit much for people in their very early 20s. 

 Not sure if that's everyday China or Sunday best, when the parents come over to see if there's a baby conceived in the $400,000 house they bought for you, even though you're only 2nd year law school. 

Please note: I love this hardware store!  Great place to browse, on either side, and has often saved me from a trip to Lowes or Home Depot. 

When I see those couples on house hunters, I have to turn it off half way through. It’s so obvious when a couple of 22 year old newlyweds have a budget of 350,000 for their first home. Mommy and daddy are paying for the down payment and may even be helping out with the mortgage payment each month. And they get all pissy when the kitchen doesn’t have granite countertops. 

[freethemall]

11 hours ago, Milly-Molly-Mandy said:

I never use table cloths. It’s just one added thing to wash and worry about. A table you can just wipe clean. 

Do people my age have good china? (34)

Enquiring minds want to know...

My sister in law is 33, she has china she got for her first wedding at 25. When we got married I chose a nice set of plates from crate and barrel - not china, we use them everyday but to me they're nice enough for special occasions too. I'd feel too fancy using china. I don't know many other couples my age with china.

I do use cloth napkins everyday, all mostly bought from thrift stores. I don't like table cloths but my MIL always insists on one for nice occasions.

But overall, you can't say "buy used and save the difference" if everyday you're using new plates and utensils rather than reusing what you have.

[SassyPants]

My 31 YO daughter inherited china when her GM passed away- and she uses it has every day China.