Chelsy and John Maxwell 6: They're More Frightened of Her than Ashamed

[nomoxian]

Ooh now you all have me looking at china! I normally don't get into stuff like this, but the skull and crow sets look pretty.

Hubs already has enough glassware for eleveny types of wine, and I'm a bottle drinker, sooo

[Four is Enough]

I totally want these dishes.

 

[SPHASH]

Happy Anniversary Stud John and Judgy Chelsy.  Hope you do something fun and not have to go to the compound today and eat shitty burritos.

[JermajestyDuggar]

It’s kind of crazy that the Bontragers will be on the road singing for all of January, February, and March when Chelsy is due in January. They didn’t meet Jubalee and Wallace until they were around a month old because they were on the road when they were born. Chelsy’s child will probably be over two months old before her parents will meet the baby. They all seem like such a close family that I am surprised that they just keep traveling and singing and don’t make a special trip to see the new grandchild. 

[anjulibai]

That surprises me, too. Perhaps they want to give the new parents space?

[nelliebelle1197]

They probably need to make the money. Also @JermajestyDuggar is it really spelled "Jubalee"?! And if so, why?

[Jana814]

1 hour ago, anjulibai said:

That surprises me, too. Perhaps they want to give the new parents space?

That could be the reason. 

[SassyPants]

7 hours ago, anjulibai said:

That surprises me, too. Perhaps they want to give the new parents space?

I didn’t meet my GD until she was a month old. She lives overseas and my SIL had a 1 month paternity leave. I wanted them to settle in first. My daughter got sick and was hospitalized right before I visited, so I ended up spending almost 4 months .

[Melissa1977]

18 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

They all seem like such a close family that I am surprised that they just keep traveling and singing and don’t make a special trip to see the new grandchild.

If they are professional singers, then yes, unfortunately it works that way. They need to fill their schedule so they can do the maximum number of performances during the travel, and it means that they probably can't take 2 or 3 days off to fly to Kansas. I suppose that if they are performing in the area, they will visit Chelsy.

Although I'm not sure if they are professionals, the truth is that musicians have a hard time when it comes to visiting family during tours. And Chelsy and her sisters-in-law choose natural births, not scheduled ones, so their parents cannot arrange holidays to visit them.

And well, they have 4 married children that are going to have baby after baby. It's not a family in which a baby is a miracle or a something special. I can sound cynical, but probably mum Bontrager thinks that a baby is a blessing but not a big deal. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

17 minutes ago, Melissa1977 said:

If they are professional singers, then yes, unfortunately it works that way. They need to fill their schedule so they can do the maximum number of performances during the travel, and it means that they probably can't take 2 or 3 days off to fly to Kansas. I suppose that if they are performing in the area, they will visit Chelsy.

Although I'm not sure if they are professionals, the truth is that musicians have a hard time when it comes to visiting family during tours. And Chelsy and her sisters-in-law choose natural births, not scheduled ones, so their parents cannot arrange holidays to visit them.

And well, they have 4 married children that are going to have baby after baby. It's not a family in which a baby is a miracle or a something special. I can sound cynical, but probably mum Bontrager thinks that a baby is a blessing but not a big deal. 

I just wonder how much Becky is needed on tour. She occasionally sings. But I think they can make do without her. The girls know how to do chores and none of the kids are young. I guess I’m surprised Becky doesn’t take a plane  for a quick visit sometime after they are born. Also if you look at their schedule, they have a few days in a row here and there when they have nothing scheduled.

[HereticHick]

15 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I just wonder how much Becky is needed on tour. She occasionally sings. But I think they can make do without her. The girls know how to do chores and none of the kids are young. I guess I’m surprised Becky doesn’t take a plane  for a quick visit sometime after they are born. Also if you look at their schedule, they have a few days in a row here and there when they have nothing scheduled.

I've always gotten the feeling that the Bontragers really enjoy their winter visits to their Mennonite relatives in northern Mexico.  I would also want to trade Iowa snowdrifts for warm(er) weather. And tamales.

But, yeah--isn't one of the principal ideas of Quiverfulldom that having baby after baby after baby is normal, natural and no big deal? No need to drop everything and rearrange schedules.  

[JermajestyDuggar]

8 minutes ago, HereticHick said:

I've always gotten the feeling that the Bontragers really enjoy their winter visits to their Mennonite relatives in northern Mexico.  I would also want to trade Iowa snowdrifts for warm(er) weather. And tamales.

But, yeah--isn't one of the principal ideas of Quiverfulldom that having baby after baby after baby is normal, natural and no big deal? No need to drop everything and rearrange schedules.  

What surprised me is that Becky and Marlin’s first two grandchildren were born less than 12 hours apart in the same hospital this past summer and neither came home for a short visit after the birth to meet the two babies.

But you guys are probably right. They will have tons of grandchildren so it’s not that special. My mom only has 4 grandchildren and will never have more than that. She would have been beside herself if she had to wait weeks or months before meeting a newborn grandchild. 

[PennySycamore]

@JermajestyDuggar, I was at the hospital when two of my six grandchildren were born and was at home babysitting my grandson when his sister was born and then babysat the two of them when number 3 baby was born.  They were all born via c-section but if they had not been section babies I  might have witnessed the two births where I was at the hospital. My other two grandchildren were adopted from China and a bunch of us were at the airport to welcome them tp their new home and country.  I cannot imagine waiting months to meet a new grandchild!

[Baxter]

Like so many other things, they might claim that family is so important but actually in practice it is only important when harping at other people about their wonderful values. It doesn't mean they practice what they preach. 

My in-laws live in the same city as us. They also have a boat on the west coast which is about an hour flight away. They will go to their boat for two or three months at a time but then complain that they don't get to see our son as much as they'd like. They also missed our son's birth because they were still at their boat. For the upcoming birth of our second child, they have said it will be too bad they won't be there for that as well since they are planning on being at their boat. They have had months of advanced warning and they are both retired if they really wanted to be here then they could. 

On the flip side, my parents who were not retired at the time realised that they had booked a trip close to my due date with my son and actually changed their flight home to make sure they were here in plenty of time. They have also made sure with the upcoming birth that they will be here.  

I think the Bontragers are just hypocrites. 

 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

5 hours ago, HereticHick said:

But, yeah--isn't one of the principal ideas of Quiverfulldom that having baby after baby after baby is normal, natural and no big deal? No need to drop everything and rearrange schedules.  

Even if they were to feel that way, and they well may, what about being their for their daughter for the birth of her first child.

i adore all of my kids, this isn’t about love ...but my first changed everything.  With him I became a mother.  I was so excited but also scared and kind of overwhelmed.  Having my mom there was the most comforibg and hellpful thing in the world for me.  

I know that’s not true for everyone and some parents are just added stressors that need to be managed, but if a mother and daughter are genuinely close you’d think she’d want to be there for her at a life changing time for her.

especially when the alternative is Teri grimacing at your daughter in 15 minute increments.  Ffs show up as a little Maxwell repellant if nothing else.

 

 

[Screamapillar]

Having my Mom stay with us after the birth of my two children was like having Mary Poppins in the house. You turn your back for a minute and she's baked a cake, cleaned all of the bathrooms, and done an art project with the toddler. We can also just lounge around doing our normal routine without having to worry about entertaining her. She fits right in and is never in our hair. Basically as soon as the lines turned pink for my second pregnancy my husband was asking me to make sure my Mom could come and stay for at least a week again.

Having my in-laws around postpartum.......no thank you. 

[nastyhobbitses]

7 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

If they are professional singers, then yes, unfortunately it works that way. They need to fill their schedule so they can do the maximum number of performances during the travel, and it means that they probably can't take 2 or 3 days off to fly to Kansas. I suppose that if they are performing in the area, they will visit Chelsy.

Although I'm not sure if they are professionals, the truth is that musicians have a hard time when it comes to visiting family during tours. And Chelsy and her sisters-in-law choose natural births, not scheduled ones, so their parents cannot arrange holidays to visit them.

And well, they have 4 married children that are going to have baby after baby. It's not a family in which a baby is a miracle or a something special. I can sound cynical, but probably mum Bontrager thinks that a baby is a blessing but not a big deal. 

That's what I think it is. Yes, they have their inn and I'm sure CD and iTunes sales help them out, but touring as a family band is their livelihood and they likely book performances months in advance; while I think their fanbase would likely understand them cancelling to go visit their daughter/sister who just gave birth, they might not want to lose out on income. When you're self-employed/don't believe in actual health insurance, ya gotta make that money. 

[Melissa1977]

9 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I just wonder how much Becky is needed on tour. She occasionally sings. But I think they can make do without her. The girls know how to do chores and none of the kids are young. I guess I’m surprised Becky doesn’t take a plane  for a quick visit sometime after they are born. Also if you look at their schedule, they have a few days in a row here and there when they have nothing scheduled.

Maybe Marlin is one of those husbands who cannot live without his wife. A controlling, absorbent, childish husband who wants her to stay by his side all the time and doesn't allow her to travel alone. Joshua genes must come from somewhere haha.

I'm making assumptions, I know.

[ophelia]

3 hours ago, nastyhobbitses said:

That's what I think it is. Yes, they have their inn and I'm sure CD and iTunes sales help them out, but touring as a family band is their livelihood and they likely book performances months in advance; while I think their fanbase would likely understand them cancelling to go visit their daughter/sister who just gave birth, they might not want to lose out on income. When you're self-employed/don't believe in actual health insurance, ya gotta make that money. 

How much money do they get for one concert? What do you think?

[Captain Obvious]

3 hours ago, nastyhobbitses said:

That's what I think it is. Yes, they have their inn and I'm sure CD and iTunes sales help them out, but touring as a family band is their livelihood and they likely book performances months in advance; while I think their fanbase would likely understand them cancelling to go visit their daughter/sister who just gave birth, they might not want to lose out on income. When you're self-employed/don't believe in actual health insurance, ya gotta make that money. 

I don't think that's it. I just checked a couple of the churches that are hosting them on this current tour and the performances are both advertised as free concerts with 'love offerings' taken. I can't imagine those love offerings are going to be enough to make massive profits from, given that the churches they play at are often fairly small, not megachurches. They probably get enough from those offerings to cover their travel expenses, but that's it. 

I think their focus would be on CD sales and selling CDs at their performances. Because - trying to get into a fundie mindset here - given fundies don't tend to have that much money, I think that they'd see paying money for a concert to be frivolous, but they wouldn't have concerns about going to a free concert at a church, since that is more of a 'fellowship opportunity' (and the Bontragers can justify it as a ministry performance rather than a money-making opportunity). And buying a CD would be less frivolous, because it's not like there's heaps of CDs fundies can buy, and a CD has more 'value' because you can play it again.

So the Bontragers rely on people turning up because it's free, and then being won over by their Inspiring Message and Good Looking Young People and then forking out for the CDs.

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

The Bowers girls went into labor while ma Bowers and the boys were packing up their sold house. She said she was glad it conincided with their due dates. So she was there for the birth of both of her daughters’ first babies. I imagine she would have gone back up to be there if she could, had the girls gone overdue. Or I think she would have extended her trip by the way she talks. 

And I think Chelsy needs her family there more than they need to be there. I imagine Chelsy wants her bff sister to be there and her mother. But they will be on tour and will be for months after. So that makes me sad for Chelsy. 

[OhNoNike]

9 hours ago, Baxter said:

Like so many other things, they might claim that family is so important but actually in practice it is only important when harping at other people about their wonderful values. It doesn't mean they practice what they preach. 

My in-laws live in the same city as us. They also have a boat on the west coast which is about an hour flight away. They will go to their boat for two or three months at a time but then complain that they don't get to see our son as much as they'd like. They also missed our son's birth because they were still at their boat. For the upcoming birth of our second child, they have said it will be too bad they won't be there for that as well since they are planning on being at their boat. They have had months of advanced warning and they are both retired if they really wanted to be here then they could. 

On the flip side, my parents who were not retired at the time realised that they had booked a trip close to my due date with my son and actually changed their flight home to make sure they were here in plenty of time. They have also made sure with the upcoming birth that they will be here.  

I think the Bontragers are just hypocrites. 

 

Fist bump to you.  I have the same situation with the inlaws.  Plus my mom is older, retired, and alone so she comes to our house every week. Pretty sure MIL is envious of this, but my mother would otherwise be completely alone.  Inlaws could see kids more if they made more of an effort - there have been times they’ve been in the area and not stopped by, but the continual “we don’t get to see the kids” is ridiculous. 

I thought the Bontragers had a farm?  Maybe I am getting them mixed up. 

[SPHASH]

If I were Judgy Chelsy I would definitely want Becky and Allison (despite their self righteousness) there for the birth of my kids instead of the Griselda mother in law and the spinster sisters in law.

[HereticHick]

4 hours ago, Captain Obvious said:

I don't think that's it. I just checked a couple of the churches that are hosting them on this current tour and the performances are both advertised as free concerts with 'love offerings' taken. I can't imagine those love offerings are going to be enough to make massive profits from, given that the churches they play at are often fairly small, not megachurches. They probably get enough from those offerings to cover their travel expenses, but that's it. 

 

Agreed. A large successful farming  &dairy operation, part ownership of a biodiesel plant, and ownership of a small motel is what provides the money for them go on tour--not the other way around. 

I think the hosting churches provide some free meals & baked goods, sometime access to laundry and kitchen facilities, and the love offerings pay for gas. I doubt that their CD sales  do more than cover the cost of recording & printing.

[JermajestyDuggar]

Allison posted about a baby splash. I thought small baby showers were called sprinkles. Do we really need another name for a fucking shower? Anyway I am kind of hoping it was a Bontragers only affair. If it was NYE then the Maxwell’s were likely busy praying and crying all evening. And no one wants that at a “splash.”