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Dillards 70: Their Behavior Is Always Pretty Weird


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1 hour ago, WiseGirl said:

Preach! I see it all the time in school.  IMO, Helicopter parents are stunting their child's growth, but worse are the, to me, are the ones who don't hold their children to any level of responsibility.  Case in point parent meeting the child admitted they are failing because they didn't do the work. Parent responds by blaming the teacher and calling a meeting with the principal. 

Children need to learn to problem solve in real life (As opposed to Fortnite*sigh*).

I digress.  I also think that I should come up with a summer school program on life skills. Pretty sure I could supplement my income quite well with that.

ITA, I saw this on facebook the other day, I thought it was a parenting win, he gave her a just consequence to her poor actions. 

Yes, as the mom of two young adults (21 & 18) this is something that is needed. I've tried to teach my kids how to adult (for lack of a better word) but there are things I never thought to teach them, things I learned in school that they don't teach anymore, like how to write a check, I'm stunned at the number of young adults who don't know how to do laundry, or who can't boil pasta or an egg or make scrambled eggs some basics of cooking. 

A few years ago DS got the flu, he was only 17 so I had to take him to the doctor where he tested + for Influenza, I was given 2 doctors notes 1 for school 1 for work. I took one to his job at the local grocery store, found the assistant manager and was giving him the note when the manager came over and was asking what was going on. I said I had a doctors not for my son. The manager got pissy and said does he really need mommy to be calling in sick for him, we really like our employees to be responsible for themselves.  I said I agreed we need to make our kids more self sufficient, however ds has a fever of 102 and tested positive for influenza. I thought it would be better to bring this to you than sending him in to infect everyone around him. I also told him he tried to call in but you were busy and he is very sick and doesn't have the energy to even make a phone call I had to practically carry a 6' 210 pound 17 yr old into his bed because the trip to the doctor wore him out. He apologized and said yes in this case sending mom in was the responsible thing, and that he hopped he felt better and to call Saturday afternoon to get his schedule for the following week (this was Monday afternoon) or call if he was going to be out longer than the week. 

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13 hours ago, apandaaries said:

And eating straight out of cans, for me, is a bit of a problem. It’s not too difficult to use real plates or bowls, especially those designed for littles, and then wash them.

Given that Jill was brought up eating off paper plates and styrofoam, eating straight out of a can is arguably an improvement...

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18 minutes ago, MadameOvary said:

Given that Jill was brought up eating off paper plates and styrofoam, eating straight out of a can is arguably an improvement...

Less waste, I suppose, and heaven knows our landfills and resources can’t handle much more...

But she did learn that trick at home. Meechelle fed Jordyn that way. And didn’t JB eat stewed tomatoes from a can once, while lamenting that the missus told him he should lose a little weight?

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I don't think Jill is stupid, but she really does lack common sense. I suppose she never had to learn it and it comes from being sheltered, but it really does make her seem less intelligent. Mostly because I spend most of my time going "Why would you share that?"

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Have we talked yet about how Derick conveniently missed the Duggar Christmas party (ugly sweaters) supposedly because of finals?

Oookaaay, Derick.  You keep telling everyone that law school is soooo hard that you need Jill to take the kids away.  Oh, and your rare moments of spare time are reserved for updating Twitter.

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I will say in law school it's common to have to miss important things/holiday gatherings because of finals or other things, particularly in the first year. Most of my friends never even went home for Thanksgiving all three years of law school and studied in the library instead because finals were around the corner in December. In undergrad I could roll up to exams with minimal to no studying and do well, but law school required significantly more preparation for finals.

That being said, given what we know about Derick I wouldn't be surprised if he would've skipped out on this even if he didn't have law school finals to study for.

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I thought it was tomato juice she was giving Izzy or Sam. Still not something I'd give a baby but better than uncooked sauce.

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On 11/28/2018 at 4:57 AM, xenobia said:

 

It’s been a couple of weeks since this was discussed, but I was looking on the Duggar website today (checking birth order) and in the “about” section, James listed “visiting Jill and Derick” as his favorite pastime. It’s probably outdated a couple of years, but that is a sweet sentiment from a teenage boy.

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My first serious boyfriend (I was 18 and he was 20, I believe) had a set of parents that did everything for him, like that. When it came to domestic chores, I taught him to do laundry and pay bills. I think it came down to sexism in his family, who weren’t from the U.S. (Not that sexism doesn’t occur in the U.S., he just came from a particularly patriarchial culture).  He was an only son and his mother looked after his every need. It sucked as a girlfriend, because he expected that treatment from me, too. 

He wanted to go to graduate school, but he didn’t have the grades and wrote an amazingly shitty application essay that he had no one proof read or read to offer feedback before just sending it in. If I remember events correctly, he was straight up rude in it. (I think the question was “why do you want this degree” and he wrote about how he doesn’t want to teach, just do research. And, well, even if it’s true, universities want to turn out PhDs who can and will teach as part of their duties as, you know, a professor. At a university.

Anyway, the point of the story is that his father found someone who was of the same ethnicity and called in a favor, and he was admitted. He had to go back and spent four more years getting a different degree after he received a first because there was no university that would hire him. So essentially, because his parents bailed him out, he wasted everyone’s time, money, effort, and took a spot away from a person who earned it because his parents refused to let him fail.

 

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23 hours ago, apandaaries said:

Less waste, I suppose, and heaven knows our landfills and resources can’t handle much more...

But she did learn that trick at home. Meechelle fed Jordyn that way. And didn’t JB eat stewed tomatoes from a can once, while lamenting that the missus told him he should lose a little weight?

The Landfill is literally across the road from their house, so it's not "out of sight, out of mind" either. ?

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33 minutes ago, ati_escapee said:

The Landfill is literally across the road from their house, so it's not "out of sight, out of mind" either. ?

Wait, the TTH is across from a landfill? I can honestly say I had no idea. 

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9 minutes ago, ViolaSebastian said:

Wait, the TTH is across from a landfill? I can honestly say I had no idea. 

Yes! They put the landfill in after the house was built, and I bet the Duggar's were pissed. Honestly, that makes me smile a little bit. 

Attaching a photo so you can see just how close it is. You can see TTH in the top right corner. The landfill is on the left side. 

Screen Shot 2018-12-09 at 1.50.43 PM.png

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7 hours ago, TheMustardCardigan said:

I will say in law school it's common to have to miss important things/holiday gatherings because of finals or other things, particularly in the first year. Most of my friends never even went home for Thanksgiving all three years of law school and studied in the library instead because finals were around the corner in December. In undergrad I could roll up to exams with minimal to no studying and do well, but law school required significantly more preparation for finals.

That being said, given what we know about Derick I wouldn't be surprised if he would've skipped out on this even if he didn't have law school finals to study for.

My law school experience was just the opposite.  I had to work way, way harder during my science degree than I ever did in law school, and frankly, most of my colleagues were the same.  All you had to do was memorize legislation and caselaw for a fixed-length or take-home written exam, which IMO is way less stressful than a bell-ringer.  But for the cram sessions right before end of term, most of our time was spent at bars.  

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Definitely different from my experience. My exams weren’t really about memorization and were almost never take home. I was in a small minority of people who still did a normal Thanksgiving instead of studying. I’m sure every school is a little different though. 

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1 hour ago, ati_escapee said:

Yes! They put the landfill in after the house was built

That's a bit of a zoning anomaly. I wonder if JimBoob received a variance to build the TTH. Cheap land probably motivated him.

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On 12/8/2018 at 4:03 AM, nastyhobbitses said:

I know you feel this protective instinct, but will you feel it when your 22-year-old can barely function on their own and can't handle basic tasks without calling you to whine, because you never let them learn to figure things out for themselves? Even if you're giving your kids a charmed life, at least teach them to be resourceful and see "thing I'm unfamiliar with/don't know how to do" as a surmountable challenge/learning opportunity and not a massive impenetrable roadblock. 

I have a less charitable interpretation of this--I think it's parental ego. I see this in people who really don't have other outlets to feel needed or accomplished and think of their children as some weird ego extension. And it's so damaging for kids.

I was volunteering with a guy (who was doing a key job we really needed him for) and his 19 year old college sophomore daughter called him during moving day and said some of the girls in her shared house were having an argument about where to put furniture and she had gotten upset. Dude legit booked a flight right then and there from DC to ALABAMA!  to fly out and help take care of it and just left the work site. I just couldn't believe how much he was hurting his daughter by still stepping in for everything. Also, how much are the other girls going to resent her for having her daddy show up to deal with their personal argument? 

I also work with a woman whose 17 year old was not allowed to be home alone by herself (her daughter is not special needs in any way). My co-worker also thought her daughter, who had never been pushed academically or emotionally, was somehow going to get into an elite school (because of course she is too good for trade school and has to make a bunch of money). Daughter is now at community college and her mom still does everything for her. Co-worker once told me she thought expecting a 21 year old to pay for their own clothes was "abusive." Still thinks daughter is going to get a full ride to UCLA...

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2 hours ago, SilverBeach said:

That's a bit of a zoning anomaly. I wonder if JimBoob received a variance to build the TTH. Cheap land probably motivated him.

Probably. There's really nothing out there.

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2 hours ago, nausicaa said:

I was volunteering with a guy (who was doing a key job we really needed him for) and his 19 year old college sophomore daughter called him during moving day and said some of the girls in her shared house were having an argument about where to put furniture and she had gotten upset. Dude legit booked a flight right then and there from DC to ALABAMA!  to fly out and help take care of it and just left the work site. I just couldn't believe how much he was hurting his daughter by still stepping in for everything. Also, how much are the other girls going to resent her for having her daddy show up to deal with their personal argument? 

I had a coworker (who thought she was my boss) who had three kids. They were 19, 15, and 12. She would leave work every afternoon to go get her 12 year old boy from school and drive him the 1 block home. This was not a bad area by any means. There was no reason he couldn't walk. She didn't want him walking and slipping on ice. I run up that hill now, year round. Her oldest was in college. She had days where she would go pick up daughter at home, drive her to college, pick her up at college, drive her to work. The 15 year old was invited on an out-of-state field trip, so we had to reorganize our schedules for a week so that mommy could go with her. I have no idea how college kid got around while she was out of town.  

I thought that was one of the worst examples of helicoptering I've experienced (other than the moms I talk to and get to say FERPA to) until I read about this guy. 

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Y'all, I was just on Jill's instagram story and they were watching the church service on her computer and Izzy was on what looked like a wooden chair in the middle of their somewhat bouncy bed.

FullSizeRender.jpeg

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Oh Jill. One step forward, forty steps back.  Say something nice... I guess it's good he's wearing clothes and not tortillas?

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16 hours ago, SadieJane said:

I wonder if their ground water is contaminated...making the males of their species age 20 years prematurely...

? That has to be it, because.. yeah. It doesn't stink though, I'm pretty sure most parts of the landfill don't smell that bad. My husband would know better than I do, but he says it doesn't smell that bad.

12 hours ago, Flippp said:

Y'all, I was just on Jill's instagram story and they were watching the church service on her computer and Izzy was on what looked like a wooden chair in the middle of their somewhat bouncy bed.

FullSizeRender.jpeg

As a parent, WHY??!!

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