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truthseeker

LIving Whole

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Joyleaf

I can't get out of this rabbit hole. (Help!)

In the blog entry I discussed earlier she mentioned that her husband "came home from his six-week Air Force training" and that he was cold towards her then and "later I found out that he was having an affair and had spent the entire duration of our eight year marriage living a lie."
That was in September 2015.
They then separated and later got divorced. By 2018 she is remarried but I couldn't find out since when.
 

But in 2016, nearly exactly one year after the whole thing came out, she wrote this blog post:
https://www.livingwhole.org/a-letter-to-the-other-woman/

The divorce was being finalized and her ex was about to marry the woman he had had an affair with.
So Megan decided to do what she calls reaching out to the "other woman".
Why? "No, my ex-husband made his choice but maybe she’s still worth saving."

How "the other woman" was going to be saved remains unclear but it does sound a bit like Megan hopes she will call off the wedding when she says "Maybe if we could shelve our pain for 5-minutes and push beyond it, we could re-write the ending of whatever story was written."

But lets not assume that Megan writes this letter to "the other woman" solely for her own sake. Oh no!
"So the night before my marriage ended, I shelved the boxing gloves and reached out to “the other woman” – for my marriage, for my children, for all of the other women who are sitting where I’ve sat, for those struggling with finding the freedom I’ve somehow found, for every woman sitting at a bar drooling over a man with a ring on his finger, wondering if they should walk away (the answer is “yes”), and for me." nevertheless it remains unclear what she is trying to accomplish

So Megan in her own words "reaches out". And how does that look like?
Megan reaching out consists of her telling "the other woman" how great Megan is. How nearly incomparable wonderful she was as a wife. And how horrible it is what "the other woman" did. That is "reaching out" apparently.

Also in this blog entry, Megan already knew what was going on while her husband was away: "The night he cheated on me with you, I knew." while in the other she found out later, after he came back "I remember the night my then husband came home from his six-week Air Force training. [...] Days later I found out that he was having an affair ..."
Could also have been 5 weeks "When he came home from his five weeks of bliss, my hell on earth began."
Or maybe she found out at another point in time "Do you know how I found out about you? I was in church and I grabbed for his hand and he jerked it away like I had a disease."
She is not really good with consistency.
(Also how long was that affair going? All the 8 years? Or had they just met during this time when he was allegedly at training?)

She then details how horrible all of it was for her and her kids, and while I believe all of that I'm not sure how this is part of "reaching out".

But anyway "I am not telling you all of this to pile the guilt on you before your wedding day."
Of course not! But she would like to let "the other woman" know
"Believe me, this is but a chip at the surface of what I have had to endure."

So what does Megan want from "the other woman"?
"I want you to view the wedding ring differently, not just because you’re getting ready to put one on your finger but because you will hopefully realize that there is another person wearing a wedding ring too."
Huh?
"I desperately want to plead with you to take your vows seriously."
Why?
Megan had detailed before how she herself took her marriage vows seriously (in her way) and look where it got her.
"I want you to understand that what you did had consequences so that you never ever do anything like this again."
Uhm... The other woman" is getting married to the man she had an affair with. I think we can be pretty sure at this point that both of them were serious about their relationship. But Megan apparently sees a risk that "the other" woman will look for another married man some day in the future. And now Megan thinks this letter about how great Megan is and how she suffered will stop that? Or something?

"I want to tell you that I FORGIVE you. Though you have not sought my forgiveness,"
Well OK, forgiving is good but I can also understand that the new wife might not have wanted to talk to Megan.
"I didn’t seek it from Jesus before he died for me"
Wut?
Is she a time traveler?
Or is she comparing herself with Jesus because she forgives "the other woman"?

The rest then is waffling about God's plans and how Megan wishes "the other woman" all the happiness in the world but it feels like an afterthought that she wrote down to appeal to her audience when she realized how self-centered the rest of the letter was but she couldn't bring it over herself to write less about how great Megan is and how she suffered. So she left it all in and added some God waffling.

Rescue ferrets anyone? Pretty please?

Edited by Joyleaf

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AmazonGrace

I'm not totally sure if airing your dirty laundry on the internet like this is good for either your mental health or your chances of getting the children back. Is it good for grifting?

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FullOfGravy
3 hours ago, formergothardite said:

She seems like an extremely self-absorbed person who never viewed these children as actually being her children. 

She barely seems to view them as children at all.  The whole thing comes across as "I asked someone to watch my stuff while I was busy, and now they won't give it back!"  Which would be fine if she were dealing with actual stuff, but not when children are being shuffled back and forth whenever she feels like taking them.

I have to say, my impression is of someone who wants to look good to her community without actually doing the work.  Someone else can deal with raising kids who've had a difficult early life; Megan's just interested in having everyone see how she's opened her home and heart to them.

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formergothardite
13 minutes ago, FullOfGravy said:

Someone else can deal with raising kids who've had a difficult early life;

Yes. she clearly didn't want to deal with the day to day stuff. How long did she actually have the children? She seems to have thought that she could hand them off to the other couple and get to show up for holidays, school events and doctor appointments pretending to be their mother and then drop them back off for someone else to deal with. She is mad it didn't go her way. 

This fight for the kids seems to be a lot of show because I don't think she actually wants them. It is easy to pretend she is desperate for them now when the chances  of her getting them back are slim to none. She gets to present herself as a victim and a loving mother all while not having to mother the children she brought to this country and then abandoned. 

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Unimpressed
Palimpsest

I don't think "cuckoo for cocoa puffs" is an official diagnosis in DSM 5 but it would fit Megan Heimer Redshaw (or whatever she's calling herself these days).  She has achieved some notoriety over the years and there are any number of inconsistencies in her stories.   It isn't just the anti-vax and homeopathic stuff.  Or her endless misrepresentations of her numerous professional qualifications.

I hope the two children adopted from DRC are finally in a safe and loving home, because Megan has put them through a helluva lot of shit.  I also worry about her bio children.  I'm surprised she still has custody of them, TBH.

She was an adopter for Jebus, until things got too hard and she attempted to re-home the 2 kids from DRC.  CPS stepped in because the children had been effectively abandoned by the people to whom she (supposedly) had assigned guardianship.  And by Megan.  

The story is a lot more complex than it looks.  I follow international adoption laws and changes.  For the record, DRC was never a Hague Convention country, to begin with.  If you are considering adopting internationally avoid non-Hague Convention countries like the plague!  You don't want to be a party (innocent or not) to abuse, exploitation, child laundering and child trafficking.  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hague_Adoption_Convention

DRC effectively suspended international adoption in September 2013 by refusing exit papers for internationally adopted children.    https://www.uscis.gov/adoption/country-information/adoption-information-democratic-republic-congo-drc

A few children whose final adoption papers were in hand (possibly including the 2 adopted by Megan) were processed out, but it often took months.  And a lot of questionably legal things went on.  The ban on exit papers is still in place with very few exemptions.

I don't know why her former husband "rejected" the children he had supposedly signed off on adopting.  He could have smelled a rat about the legality of the adoption, realised that the kid(s) still had a mother alive, and decided he didn't want to be a party to it, for all we know.  And Megan can't be easy to live with.

Oh, and the nonprofit Megan supposedly started that drilled all those wells - funny that her name isn't listed on it.  https://livebeyondwords.org/who-we-are/meet-us

Although one of the current board, Carla Carlstead, is supposed to be related to Megan in some way.  The nonprofit is supposed to be affiliated with a single orphanage in DRC.  It doesn't advertise adoption these days but I suspect it carried out quite a few in the past.  I wouldn't donate a cent to it without a whole lot more information, but that is just me.

On 11/17/2018 at 9:12 PM, HarryPotterFan said:

- I don’t for a second believe any qualified therapist actually said, “Megan, any other parent would have given up a long time ago. I don’t even know how you’re doing this.” 

I think Megan must have misheard. What the therapist actually said was, "Megan, any other person would have seen the writing on the wall and given up a long time ago.  I don't even know why you are doing this.

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JermajestyDuggar
6 hours ago, Joyleaf said:

- "Not a day passes where I don’t regret sending my son, who did not have the issues my daughter had with her."  = I now wish I had a least kept the child that didn't give me any trouble.

This bothered me the most. As if the girl deserved to be given away due to her trauma induced issues but the boy didn’t because he was easy. Neither of them deserved to be given away by Megan! It’s like she now wishes she had kept the easy one so she could prop him up on her social media to show what a great white savior she is. Gag.

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Joyleaf

I'm trying to put a timeline together but it's difficult.

"In Feb. of 2018 when the adoption still hadn’t been finalized, I reached out and the conversation led me to believe that they were trying to re-home my children."
"Two months later (nine months after they had taken guardianship) I received a text at 6 a.m."

OK, so two months later would have been April 2018.
This means that in April 2018 it was nine months ago that she gave the kids away. Pointing to July 2017.

She also claimed that she had had the kids for about 18 months
"After a year and a half, things got to a place where we simply couldn’t go without resources any longer. [...] There were no post-placement adoption services available for me, no respite, and no help, except for this family — relatives of my ex-husband who had been actively involved in our lives since the minute I brought them home."
July 2017 minus 18 months would get us to January 2016.
She got to know about her husband's affair in September of 2015 and was already pregnant at that time. She said that the two children from Congo arrived six weeks (son) and nine weeks (daughter) after her c-section.
That is a very tight timeline with three months between the discovery of the affair and the arrival of the children.

So what happened in these three months according to Megan:
- she told the church about her husbands affair and they arranged a meeting with him and confronted him (www.meganredshaw.com/divorce-why-the-church-needs-to-wake-up/)
- moving with her kids, "I moved back to the town we had just moved from — a town near my family, our church, and a place familiar to my children."
- Saving up for a new place and working for a whole year "I slept on couches for a few weeks until I got a job as a marketing manager for a social media company that allowed me to work from home. I saved up for a place to live and worked 364 days straight in order to take over my adopted children’s astronomical monthly care fees."
- hiring a private investigator in Congo and hearing the results of his investigation "I hired a private investigator to find out everything I could about their family and contacted their birth mom to see if reunification with her was possible."
- having her third kid via c-section
- booking new tickets (paid by her parents) for the children and arranging a lawyer in Congo
- legal and personal conflicts with her husband
- Christmas, I guess?

Even if her working for a whole year was meant also covering the time when the children were already living with her it's still A LOT for three months. Not completely impossible.
Still, I feel that something is off.

BTW, if she really got the children in January, this is the blog post she wrote after nine months with the kids:
https://www.livingwhole.org/8-things-you-need-to-know-about-adoption

There is some interesting stuff between the lines there.

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AmazonGrace
Quote

When we first decided to adopt two children under two, I had a husband, a bright financial future, a house, a two-year-old, and one on the way. By the time my children came home, I had a four-year-old, a two-year-old, a six-week old, was living in a 3 bedroom apartment, was working full-time from home, and the father they thought they were going to have, bailed. I ended up with two sets of twins (the two adopted twinned the biological), two who couldn’t speak English, one with special needs, and a newborn. In case you’re having trouble keeping track, that’s five kids, age four and under. Let me tell you, the home study lady did not see that coming (and neither did I).

Wait, what? I'm willing to grant that the divorce and the financial difficulties might have come as a surprise but presumably she always knew how  old the kids she was adopting were compared to the children she already had or was expecting. And if you adopt children from an African orphanage how can it be a surprise that they may not speak perfect English or that they may have special needs? 

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adidas
On 11/18/2018 at 10:16 AM, catlady said:

How would Megan feel if her unvaccinated daughter contracted rubella as a pregnant adult? 

Off topic - but rubella has just been declared eliminated in Australia by the WHO - with a caution that it could come back because of people who don’t vaccinate. 

https://www1.racgp.org.au/newsGP/Clinical/Australia-has-eliminated-rubella-–-but-that-doesn’

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HarryPotterFan
1 hour ago, Joyleaf said:

BTW, if she really got the children in January, this is the blog post she wrote after nine months with the kids:
https://www.livingwhole.org/8-things-you-need-to-know-about-adoption

Quote

When you first looked into adoption, you probably saw the photos of the white parents walking hand-in-hand with their black child – painting the perfect picture of racial reconciliation; had a friend who had a friend who brought a baby home from China in a cool six months

Woah there. As the kids say these days, “There’s a lot to unpack here but let’s burn the whole suitcase instead”

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3. Don’t adopt because you want to be a super Christian.

Isn’t that why she adopted?

Quote

When we first decided to adopt two children under two, I had a husband, a bright financial future, a house, a two-year-old, and one on the way. By the time my children came home, I had a four-year-old, a two-year-old, a six-week old

Now the timeline makes even less sense. Didn’t she say she had twins? 

Quote

I ended up with two sets of twins (the two adopted twinned the biological),

This makes zero sense. She had a single and another single on the way when they decided to adopt. Fast forward a couple years and the two singles that are two years apart are now twins.

She also keeps waxing on about loving orphans, but the adopted kids have a living bio mom who is unable to care for them. That’s different than an orphan. A lot of orphanages are filled with kids who have living family that are unable to care for them because of extreme poverty. We don’t know why their mom is unable to raise them, but there are so many desperate families that get taken advantage of by orphanages.  Sometimes parents don’t even know they are giving up their rights. She pretends to know a lot about orphanages, but she clearly doesn’t.  I wonder how much of a reunification attempt she actually made, why she waited, or if she really considered why reunification wasn’t possible. 

It just seems like she wants to wax on poetically about saving orphans. It’s not about expanding her family or providing kids with a home, it’s saving poor little orphans. And at the same time, she doesn’t want a kid who is affected by trauma. When living in an orphanage itself is a form of trauma. 

Its clear she thinks it sounds better to say she adopted orphans who has nowhere to go than to adopt children whose mom was unable to care for them and therefore they had nowhere to go. Adopting kids who lost their loving parents sounds much note tragic, I suppose.

Quote

or maybe, you just need to lower your expectations so you surpass every one of them.

Wow.

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AmazonGrace
7 minutes ago, HarryPotterFan said:

 

Now the timeline makes even less sense. Didn’t she say she had twins? 

This makes zero sense. She had a single and another single on the way when they decided to adopt. Fast forward a couple years and the two singles that are two years apart are now twins.

 

Quote

 

I ended up with two sets of twins (the two adopted twinned the biological),


 

I think what she means here is that the ages of her bio kids and the adopted kids are so similar that she considers them to  correspond to twins. 

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Joyleaf
5 minutes ago, HarryPotterFan said:

This makes zero sense. She had a single and another single on the way when they decided to adopt. Fast forward a couple years and the two singles that are two years apart are now twins.

I think I figured out what she meant.
When teh kids arrived from Congo they were 2 and 4 years old.
She already had a 2 and a 4 year old at home (and a baby).
As she now had two kids each of the same age (two that were 2 years old and two that were 4 years old) she declared those to be twins to each other because if you have children of the same age they are twins, of course!
4yo bio child + 4yo adopted child = one pair of  twins
2yo bio child + 2yo adopted child = second pair of twins

That might have been an attempt of showing that for her bio and adopted children were totally the same.
Or she wanted to point out how difficult it was for her as a mother and thought people would understand better if they imagined two pairs of twins.
Or she just thought it was a totally cute incident and should be pointed out as glaringly as possible.

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AmazonGrace
Quote

 

4. Adoption is expensive, but if you’re supposed to do it, the money will be there.

I know it sounds cliché to tell you to go forth with your adoption and give no heed to the small fortune its costs to do so, but I will tell you this … if you’re supposed to adopt, the money will be there. There are numerous programs and grants you could apply for (whether you adopt domestically or internationally) and there are many people who feel called to care for orphans by helping other families financially afford to do so. I can’t count how many random checks for thousands of dollars showed up at our door, at just the right time, from people I still don’t have names for.

When it comes to finances, take it one step at a time: Be smart, but allow for an element of faith (i.e. revolving around what God has told you to do, not the budget you can’t envision balancing a year from now), apply for the programs that could help you, talk to your church, hold a fundraiser, and invite your friends and family to be a part of the adoption process with you.

 

This sounds super irresponsible to me.  Go ahead and adopt children you can't financially provide for, because you can always beg and grift money from somebody else. 

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Unimpressed
Palimpsest
12 minutes ago, Joyleaf said:

4yo bio child + 4yo adopted child = one pair of  twins
2yo bio child + 2yo adopted child = second pair of twins

Yes, exactly.  She's calling them twins.  And sensible adoption agencies generally recommend against disrupting the birth order like that.

And don't ever expect her chronology to make sense.

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The adoptions of my son and daughter were finalized on December 2, 2013

After DRC had stopped issuing exit visas for internationally adopted children, as I said above.  She didn't fly them out until nearly 3 years later - 2016.

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For years I campaigned, fasted, pleaded with the President of their nation and ours, raised money for our adoption, flew back and forth to visit our children, and paid an astronomical amount each month to keep our children alive.

Well, you had adopted them, knowing that they were unlikely to get exit papers.

Quote

During this time, I also started a non-profit in Congo that focused on poverty alleviation and orphan care. We drilled wells, fed and clothed orphans, built schools, and provided medical supplies and food to orphanages. We were invested in the lives of more than just our children. We were invested in their country, their culture, and their communities.

R-i-g-h-t.

Quote

I didn’t see September of 2015 coming. I remember the night my then husband came home from his six-week Air Force training. His uncharacteristically cold stare was enough to tell me that something was off. With no emotion whatsoever, he stated that he had unilaterally decided he would not allow our adopted children to come home (as they were projected to be released). No discussion allowed.

Husband decides he isn't going to continue to try to get them out.  Yes, that was shitty.

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All I could do was cry. I was told nothing that would make it even remotely okay to leave two kids in a third world country to die.

To die!  Inevitably.  As you had both adopted them knowingly, it was up to both of you to continue to pay for their support in DRC.

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Does such a justification even exist? These children were ours. They had our last name. They were his legal obligation (per an affidavit signed via the Department of Homeland Security). They were equal with our biological children (at least in my eyes), and their adoptions were completed and paid for. They had passports, U.S visas, and their tickets to come home had already been purchased.

But they didn't have exit papers.  And you didn't succeed in getting those until the following year.  If you did.  The whole thing looks suspect.

Quote

Days later I found out that he was having an affair and had spent the entire duration of our eight year marriage living a lie. He did not want me, the baby I was carrying, the adopted children, our non-profit (that was in the middle of a major project), or the life we had built together. He just suddenly “couldn’t love kids who weren’t his blood,” couldn’t love me either, and said he never had. It was like coming to the realization that hell existed and that hell was my real life.

Well, we only have her interpretation of what he said.  However, it is clear that he didn't want the children from DRC, didn't want her bringing them to the US, and would not cooperate with getting them citizenship.  But she has an affidavit to prove he once wanted the kids.  And presumably the adoption papers from DRC.  Funny those don't get a mention.

And she leaves him.  She should have kicked him out and demanded child support but she leaves. 

Quote

I did not stop hoping that his heart would change and that he would do the right thing, but I knew I had to follow God even if he wasn’t. Somebody had to put our kids first and that’s exactly what I did. I moved back to the town we had just moved from — a town near my family, our church, and a place familiar to my children. The (bio) girls and I slept on couches for a few weeks until I got a job as a marketing manager for a social media company that allowed me to work from home. I saved up for a place to live and worked 364 days straight in order to take over my adopted children’s astronomical monthly care fees.

She is a hero.  And define astronomical.

Quote

When the facility my adopted children were living in was closing down (because the children living in it were coming home),

What of the orphanage that her nonprofit was created to support.  It is still there and claims to be caring for 76 orphans.

Quote

I hired a private investigator to find out everything I could about their family and contacted their birth mom to see if reunification with her was possible. I am a huge advocate of reunification and realize that often mothers give up their children because they simply don’t have the means to care for them. When reunification was not possible and I couldn’t find alternative care, I decided to bring them into my home. I wanted them to have the life they were promised, the opportunities our country had to offer, and it was my obligation as both a Christian and their adoptive mother.

She tried to back out of the adoption herself.  She hired a PI do do all the things a decent adoption agency and orphanage should already have done.  And she makes no mention of trying to find extended family.

Quote

My soon-to-be ex-husband did not respond well when I made my intentions known. He pretended he wanted to reconcile in order to get information and then threatened a lawsuit against our adoption agency behind my back (a document I still have) if they brought “his kids” out (while telling everyone else these were suddenly not his kids). That was it for me.

So she divorced him. 

And, reading between the lines, there is something very fishy about the "adoption agency."  The one that later went out of business leaving her with no support and no recourse.

Everyone is against her.  She lies like a rug. 

She's a full-time mother and works full-time at her job, while fitting in running 5 hours a day, learning tribal languages, doing pesky African hair, AND digging wells in DRC.  She is a superhero indeed. 

And that is just the beginning - before she tried to re-home the children illegally.  

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Joyleaf
1 hour ago, AmazonGrace said:

This sounds super irresponsible to me.  Go ahead and adopt children you can't financially provide for, because you can always beg and grift money from somebody else. 

Hey, her parents sold their house and land so that she could have her adopted children from DRC. Which she then gave to another family.
How is that not responsible?

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Unimpressed
Palimpsest

Oh yes, the other family.  Her family members, the "potential adopters" who took the adopted children off her hands but then refused her access, pestered her for money, and dumped the children on DFS telling "lies" about her.

Another possible scenario:  they took the children in, possibly with the intention of adopting them, because she was overwhelmed, but insisted on temporary guardianship in case of emergencies.  She left them there until she changed her mind about allowing them to adopt them.  She never followed through on finding resources for the children, never paid a cent of child support as agreed, and never tried to see them (although she claims she did).  They told her to get her ducks in a row before they returned the children to her.  She reported them to DFS for abuse - and they washed their hands of the whole business and surrendered the children to DFS.

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AmazonGrace
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I remember when my then husband and I decided to adopt two babies from the Democratic Republic of Congo. It just seemed like the right thing to do — caring for orphans, giving up our resources in return for giving two children who would have died otherwise life.

One more thing that bugs me. Who would have died otherwise? Was no one feeding them in the orphanage? Do the children have some life threatening disease that would have eventually killed them for sure or is this Western condescension and heroine status halo hunting? I mean, obviously there is a non-zero chance that children in an orphanage will die. But they somehow survived several years living in Africa and some people do live in adulthood outside America so it's not a certainty that they would have died otherwise, is it? And if the children have a life threatening disease they wouldn't be much better off adopted by someone who can't give them medical insurance and hospital visits, would they? 

Spoiler

All I could do was cry. I was told nothing that would make it even remotely okay to leave two kids in a third world country to die. Does such a justification even exist?

Is this just drama to guilt the husband up? Not only did you LEAVE me but you left our kids to DIE. 

Edited by AmazonGrace

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luv2laugh

I came across a message board that had a link and quote to this snippet from her old blog... It’s deeply narcissistic.

5F7622E6-577A-4892-849C-D7529AB49D1A.thumb.jpeg.962c72331869e99ed1bb01524490bf2d.jpeg

This did not work out for her. She has changed her mind since her ex’s affair, apparently.

I wonder what Lori would be saying if something similar happened and Ken left her for someone else.

Edited by luv2laugh

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HarryPotterFan
2 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

And sensible adoption agencies generally recommend against disrupting the birth order like that.

So when the Duggar kidults say they can’t adopt when they have or are expecting a baby, they’re probably looking at more sensible agencies.

Wow. Just wow. You know you fucked up when the Duggars are more sensible and use more reputable resources than you.

This makes me think even more that the “orphanage” was one of those super skeevy exploitative ones that basically traffic children to make money.

Edited by HarryPotterFan

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formergothardite

Does anyone else find it suspicious that the Christians she knew sided with the husband when they divorced? She isn't the most reliable narrator, but it is just odd that the church folks would say the husband was in the right if he really left her for his mistress. 

Quote

But, instead of being met with the TRUTH, I was given a laundry list of excuses and justifications for my then husband’s behavior, was met by people who downplayed the gravity of it (probably because they were given a one-sided version of nothing that resembled the actual facts), was confronted by those who claimed to be Christian with twisted scripture (who were clearly confused on who they were supposed to be confronting and the book they were supposed to be using), 

 

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AmazonGrace
13 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

Does anyone else find it suspicious that the Christians she knew sided with the husband when they divorced? She isn't the most reliable narrator, but it is just odd that the church folks would say the husband was in the right if he really left her for his mistress. 

 

Personally I think it would be a great shame if they'd wasted the perfect chance they'd been given to once more make her a martyr that everybody mistreats. 

Edited by AmazonGrace

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FullOfGravy
2 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

For years I campaigned, fasted, pleaded with the President of their nation and ours, raised money for our adoption, flew back and forth to visit our children, and paid an astronomical amount each month to keep our children alive.

 

2 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

During this time, I also started a non-profit in Congo that focused on poverty alleviation and orphan care. We drilled wells, fed and clothed orphans, built schools, and provided medical supplies and food to orphanages. We were invested in the lives of more than just our children. We were invested in their country, their culture, and their communities.

Maybe this is just me being cynical here, but these two quotes together make the whole thing sound like a purchase.  Here, I'll throw (other people's) money around your country, and you give me the kids I want.  It fits with the rest of her behaviour toward the kids - she paid for them, and they are hers, so she should be able to leave them with other people and then reclaim them for some cute Christmas photos whenever she feels like it. 

 

 

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luv2laugh

I’m looking at this whole thread from the point of “When a Narcissist Falls” now. I still feel bad for her, the most for the kids, but maybe that simply makes me not a narcissist?

I’m so sad I only found that narcissistic snippet on another forum from her old blog since her old blog is defunct.

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luv2laugh
3 hours ago, luv2laugh said:

I came across a message board that had a link and quote to this snippet from her old blog... It’s deeply narcissistic.

5F7622E6-577A-4892-849C-D7529AB49D1A.thumb.jpeg.962c72331869e99ed1bb01524490bf2d.jpeg

This did not work out for her. She has changed her mind since her ex’s affair, apparently.

I wonder what Lori would be saying if something similar happened and Ken left her for someone else.

I wish I could put her narcissistic snippet in bold but since I cannot, I’ll highlight some disgusting remarks that I bet she’s eating by now:

”I have few regrets in life... but the biggest is my education...”

”I have an insane earning potential”

”I had the potential to make a lot of money”

”I was successful. I was in the 3% of Americans who hold professional degrees.”

”I am also not big on welfare but my goodness...”

The NASTIEST: “Please do not tell me that paying your utilities and bills somehow keeps you from being able to raise your children....”

Spoiler

5F7622E6-577A-4892-849C-D7529AB49D1A.thumb.jpeg.962c72331869e99ed1bb01524490bf2d.jpeg

It sounds like she had Lori write her a guest post. No wonder this narcissist had to shut down that blog and scrub her posts. These were some nasty remarks. She is still paying off loans, bills, and will now be dealing with legal fees. I even recall her posting about possibly signing up for the bar exam to afford everything.

I found it amusing that she has to tell everyone that she’s remarried and in parenthesis (to an engineer). She and Abbie from her MisForMama blog have absolutely no shame about boasting and I cannot stand people like this. 

Honestly, I do have sympathy for Megan despite it all & I don’t like seeing people suffer and fall. However, Megan has to be eating those words of hers by now about working mothers and she should apologize. 

Edited by luv2laugh

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Walking Cat Bed

It's just amazing how many time she refers to those children with self-pronouns: I fought for them, they are my children. They're not autonomous little humans, they're HER children that were taken away from HER (even though she left them with other people).

 

I'm not a mental health professional, but I get personality disorder vibes.

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