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truthseeker

LIving Whole

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Waffle Time
cascarones

My admittedly haphazard look into this results in a bananas categorization. 

  1. Her law degree "is one of many degrees", but she's constantly stymied about resources available and betrayed by being misled around her resources or her lawyers/ county/ everyone in the world.
  2. Her ex is an Air Force doctor, so to level set he's making about half of civilian pay and has financially left her in a lurch. The money for multiple private investigators (US and abroad), multiple lawyers, multiple therapists, etc. explains her debt. It seems her parents helped out as best they could, but GoFundMe is the next route.  Why she makes financial decisions like renting out her cheap apartment to fund things with no explanation of where she and all of her children wind up living, is baffling.
  3. Seriously, please tell me this is fake for said GoFundMe.

This is on the internet. At one point, her adopted children will want to look up their history. They'll see how much they were wanted, see the narrative of one parent changing their mind and pulling a 180 to shunning them, see the other parent documenting their adjustment issues to justify why she rehomed them. Then get to read how she didn't go get her children, "lack of carseats" when she has other infants and enough money for lawyers, but not enough for a set of carseats from Walmart. Or mind blowing, asking the family wanting to drop off the children if she can use their current car seats and take their belongings.

The real gem is her repeated refusal to psyche evaluations when the court ordered them, because she knows she's sane.

@HarryPotterFan just mentioned the "any other parent would have given up" so I'll cut that part out of my rant.

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Kailash

I really don’t know what to think about all that. I read the blog entries before I read here about her non vaxxing stance and I was more sympathetic to her when I didn’t know she was into woo but not science. 

I cannot understand why the children were not returned to her after they were dropped off at DFS. That just seems logical to me, but of course I have no idea what actually happened. Bizarre. 

Honestly, if I’d come up against the challenges she says she had, I’d have given up. Why did she think she could be a single mom to 5 kids under 5? I wonder if she thought her ex husband would change his mind. (The way she portrays him, he’s a terrible person.) Why didn’t she take him to court immediately if he wasn’t paying the child support he’d agreed to? So many questions.

Of course it’s the children who have suffered the most. Tragic. When is enough, enough? My heart breaks for them.

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Zebedee

OK, new rabbit hole opened up for me. Luckily, even though it's 6am here, I still have plenty of wine. I just read the "Vaccinations are against God" vomit. Still half way through the comments, and disturbed to see there are so many misguided people quoting the Bible to agree with her. And WTF is the obsession with aborted foetuses? If she's so pro-life, she should be pleased that their "sacrifice" has saved so many others... I'm sure we all could come up with some reason why her use of the internet is against god, but then I'm also sure that she would claim god"laid it on her heart" to use the devil's tool to bring jesus to people dying of polio and measles. 

I really have to sleep, but now I'm really pissed with her. Grrr.

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Happy
Soulhuntress

Naturopath.  Essential oils.  Woofuckery.  Yeah she is something else.  I am surprised she kept custody of any of her kids frankly.  

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refugee
20 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

They aren’t positive of what Helen Keller had (maybe scarlet fever or meningitis). But the illness did cause her blindness and deafness when she was a toddler. 

Thanks. The bio I read decades ago said “measles” so that’s what I’ve always thought it was.

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Tatar-tot
16 hours ago, HarryPotterFan said:

Thank you. I like that insult but I rarely use it because it makes no sense. But kumquat is such a ridiculous sounding word, and she is a ridiculous person with the brain power of a fruit.

She’d find something to blame, like cell phones and radio towers. There are anti-vaxxers who rail against those. And I’m glad you like my insult lol.

Thoughts as I read through the blog:

- She wants to help her daughter with her hair because of the Congolese stigma of having short hair. Isn’t her daughter still very little? How much of that could she have absorbed? And yes the “teaching her how to act around men” is alarming

- At what point during the divorce  was her son showing signs of malnutrition and she couldn’t get medicine? If the divorce had been finalized she should be able to get Medicaid for the kids. And I agree with the point that she managed to navigate getting kids out of Congo. She should be able to find out what services she can get. There are services for low-income families without insurance. Though this varies by state. She also said her daughter couldn’t go to a hospital without insurance or a social security number. Hospitals do care for patients that can’t afford it. And I imagine hospitals have dealt with patients without social security info. It sounds like excuses to me. She can navigate complex international adoption but not this? For someone who wasn’t able to do what she did, I’d get that they’d get overwhelmed and not know what to do or where to turn. But she claims to be a legal expert.

And years after she still couldn’t get insurance? Get Medicaid!

- My heart breaks for those kids. That’s a lot of instability and trauma.

-Those kids only know what they’re told (or overhear) about the situation. For her little daughter to talk about daddy not loving her or mommy she must have heard it from mom.

- I don’t for a second believe any qualified therapist actually said, “Megan, any other parent would have given up a long time ago. I don’t even know how you’re doing this.” 

- “This is the REAL reason 25% of adoptions end up in secondary placements” - This seems like a made up statistic 

- So she was given a deadline, albeit short, for picking up the kids, didn’t do it, and was surprised they ended up in foster care? What did she think would happen? 

- What the hell happened that landed those children in protective custody??

- She’s upset that the court accused her of abuse and neglect, but I can see a court deciding she neglected the kids if she refused to get them insurance and proper care and then handed over guardianship.

-“No parent should ever have to fear the removal of their children because they parent differently” Well this statement sends off alarm bells.

 

This makes no sense.  As long as the father is in the military the kids (including the adopted ones) would be covered by Tri-Care. If they got/get divorced the the Air Force has a ton of resources for families during the split.  Her line of logic is fraught with errors and makes no sense.  

If she does not health insurance she can go to the local clinic for healthcare for herself.  

By chance is she mentally ill?  

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Wine time!
acheronbeach

Ah, lovely.  Another mediocre intellect who uses their law degree as evidence of intelligence.  I guess logical fallacies weren't taught at her school.  

She can join the line behind Derick Dillard.

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Aggravated
LeftCoastLurker

Has any of this story been verified? I couldn't even get through that linked blog. Yikes! 

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SuperNova

I read far too many posts from this woman last night. Megan must be exhuasting to be around. She seems to have a constant need to defend herself even when there's no one arguing with her. After the long vehement CPS rant I was surprised to come across the quick mention of her adopted children on another post:

"Some of my kids are home-schooled and one isn’t. I adopted two more children until I could find them a home and at one point, I was single-handedly single parenting five children under the age of four."

This makes it sound like she had no intention of keeping the children and they were brought to the states specifically to be re-homed. 

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JermajestyDuggar
1 hour ago, SuperNova said:

I read far too many posts from this woman last night. Megan must be exhuasting to be around. She seems to have a constant need to defend herself even when there's no one arguing with her. After the long vehement CPS rant I was surprised to come across the quick mention of her adopted children on another post:

"Some of my kids are home-schooled and one isn’t. I adopted two more children until I could find them a home and at one point, I was single-handedly single parenting five children under the age of four."

This makes it sound like she had no intention of keeping the children and they were brought to the states specifically to be re-homed. 

Why would she word it that way? Unless she’s lying and she changed her adoption plan after her husband left her. It wouldn’t surprise me if she decided to bring them to America with a plan to adopt them out. I’m wondering if her plan was to have someone else adopt them with an open adoption so she could still visit them. But when the family she gave them to didn’t give her the visitation she wanted, they cut off contact. I’m also wondering if her sudden urge to get them back has to do with the fact that she’s no longer single. Now that she has a new husband and more financial support, she may want them black. But things don’t work that way. 

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AmazonGrace

I'm just wondering how she could afford hours of weekly counseling sessions  if she couldn't afford insurance and hospital visits, 

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Dizzy
tankgirl

I know she is all woo and all that but I hate that these people so miss understand the whole "Aborted fetal tissue is in our vaccines!".  The truth is far more subtle and interesting. In fact, 2 foetuses cells have been used to grow the virus for vaccines, over and over, in particular one, which was aborted in the 1960's and the Mother had Rubella, the disease that can damage a foetus, is the main one used.

 

This article is so interesting on breaking down the science. But all the screamy anti-vaxxers wont care or change though.

 

https://www.historyofvaccines.org/index.php/content/articles/human-cell-strains-vaccine-development

Edited by tankgirl

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Walking Cat Bed
1 hour ago, AmazonGrace said:

I'm just wondering how she could afford hours of weekly counseling sessions  if she couldn't afford insurance and hospital visits, 

I'm guessing there's some not-covered-by-insurance "medical treatment" involved. Possibly a lot of it. 

If you're going to do coffee enemas and argue about vaccination, I'm willing to assume you're not using insurance for a traditional doctor. More essential oils/herbal "remedies" and using a chiropractor/naturopath as the "family doctor". 

 

If her situation was as dire as she claimed, and she just wanted her kids (biological and adopted) to get the care they needed, she should have qualified for Medicaid, right? The kids, at least, would, right?

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Depressed
formergothardite
On 11/17/2018 at 9:30 AM, dsjbeam said:

 Maybe because homeopathy works but is a complicated system?

No one can bring up homeopathy without this video being shared!

Spoiler

 

This whole story confuses me. Did she and the husband actually adopt these children? If he legally adopted them how can he refuse to treat them like his children? She gave them to someone else to adopt, but they didn't and instead turned them over to CPS and she was accused of abandoning her children? If she did not have legal guardianship of her children anymore because she gave it to the family who was going to adopt them, doesn't it make sense that CPS would not just hand her back the kids? 

I feel like there are a hell of a lot of details she has left out. 

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Happy
Soulhuntress
2 hours ago, Walking Cat Bed said:

I'm guessing there's some not-covered-by-insurance "medical treatment" involved. Possibly a lot of it. 

If you're going to do coffee enemas and argue about vaccination, I'm willing to assume you're not using insurance for a traditional doctor. More essential oils/herbal "remedies" and using a chiropractor/naturopath as the "family doctor". 

 

If her situation was as dire as she claimed, and she just wanted her kids (biological and adopted) to get the care they needed, she should have qualified for Medicaid, right? The kids, at least, would, right?

She is a naturopath apparently.  And Medicaid would have meant a doctor and vaccines and all those icky yucky things.... Eyerolls

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Walking Cat Bed
22 minutes ago, Soulhuntress said:

She is a naturopath apparently.  And Medicaid would have meant a doctor and vaccines and all those icky yucky things.... Eyerolls

So she's a naturopath and a lawyer? Is she an astronaut too?

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SuperNova
1 hour ago, Soulhuntress said:

She is a naturopath apparently.  And Medicaid would have meant a doctor and vaccines and all those icky yucky things.... Eyerolls

One of her guest posts is written by another martyr mommy type who claims her child's pediatrician shamed her by telling her she was a terrible parent for not vaccinating. He essentially told her to find a new doctor because he couldn't in good conscience see the baby when mom is opposing sound medical advice. I wasn't understanding why she was so angry. If she was at odds with the doctor or felt that he didn't have her child's best interest in mind, just move on. There are lots of pediatricians out there. But then again, if she just moved on there wouldn't be anything to cry foul over.

Edited by SuperNova

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DangerNoodle
42 minutes ago, SuperNova said:

But then again, if she just moved on there wouldn't be anything to cry foul over.

This blog perfectly exemplifies a victim complex. They are wronged at every turn, by everybody. People, who don't even know her on a personal level, go out of their way to break rules/laws/policies just to make her life harder.

Edited by DangerNoodle

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HarryPotterFan
5 hours ago, Walking Cat Bed said:

So she's a naturopath and a lawyer? Is she an astronaut too?

So basically she’s a rocket surgeon. Impressive.

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luv2laugh

I came across her a long time ago. Isn't her ex husband a doctor? I don't know what is up with her. I remember her slightly but completely forgot.

Edited by luv2laugh

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Waffle Time
cascarones
36 minutes ago, luv2laugh said:

Isn't her ex husband a doctor

I believe he is an OD, so yep a licensed medical doctor. I dug through the other forum, it seems she's also lied about the ages of her children and whether they are twins or not. It went from having 2 sets of twins the same age (the adopted children are older by two years), to one set of twins. Bit hard to dig out, it seems she went through a phase where if called out enough she ripped down or edited blog posts and then claimed she was being attacked. That does make me wonder about her mental health, because it's a pointless and easily checked lie, it's lying for the sake of lying compared to feeling passionate about being anti-vaxx.

I'm assuming her ex is no longer in the Air Force and possibly was out when they got divorced, he would have been reprimanded if he wasn't paying what was the court decided on and likely would have it coming directly out of his salary and going to her. That's the standard way it's handled for those in service due to unexpected deployments. My mother pointed out her ex husband's commanding officer probably received complaints about her behavior, which usually just gets you a dressing down control your spouse speech.

It occurred to me that she might not qualify to get her children back. They might not have the requisite number of bedrooms. She might have a hard time proving steady income from her blog and he might not make enough. I've no real clue, other than we're definitely missing part of the story. 

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luv2laugh

After reading her blog a bit, I can say that I do not like her at all (she comes off, or perhaps came off as entitled and sort of like MisForMama's Abbie with all her bragging at one point, before the affair & CPS saga) except Megan seems to be honest in that she's crumbling and her life is basically, painfully falling apart. However, even though I don't like her, I feel really, REALLY bad for her. I feel even worse for the two children that she adopted that have been bouncing around from home to home. THIS IS NOT FAIR FOR THEM.

Why is her ex not required to pay her alimony? He has to be paying child support? She has written as if she's struggling to get by and it's very worrisome.  In sum: NOPE I do NOT like her, but yes, I feel very, very bad for her and I feel horrible for the two adopted children THE MOST.

I vaguely remember her vaccination blog post and reading her braggadocious biography prior to the affair. I appreciate her transparency and honesty in how much she is suffering right now and I can't help but feel bad for her. Pain has a way of giving us a big dose of humble pie.

On another note, she writes she is married again. That was quick.

Edited by luv2laugh

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Joyleaf

I'm feeling a bit BEC - ish today, so if you're not in the mood for that, you might want to skip this post. This will be very long and BEC

That "Inside My Battle with Child Protective Services" blog post is a mess.

- she writes "I also started a non-profit in Congo that focused on poverty alleviation and orphan care. We drilled wells, fed and clothed orphans, built schools, and provided medical supplies and food to orphanages."
That non-profit was just funneling money it received as donations to people and organizations in Congo. It's a transfer of other people's money. I'm not saying that the money wasn't put to good use by the recipients but it's not as if Megan or her organization did more than handing over money and posing for pictures from what I can see.

- About her husband:
"he stated that he had unilaterally decided he would not allow our adopted children to come home (as they were projected to be released)." and "He just suddenly “couldn’t love kids who weren’t his blood,”".
This matches with what @SuperNova has written earlier that maybe it hadn't been the plan in the beginning that these kids were going to live with Megan and her husband but that she planned to pass them on to another family once they had arrived in the US.
And now suddenly when the husband realizes that these kids would on paper be his and he would be responsible, he didn't want to do this. Or, looking for a divorce, he didn't want to risk having two more kids he would have to pay support for.

- about reunification: "When the facility my adopted children were living in was closing down (because the children living in it were coming home), I hired a private investigator to find out everything I could about their family and contacted their birth mom to see if reunification with her was possible. I am a huge advocate of reunification"
So when it finally looked like the kids were coming to the US, that was the moment she decided to look into reunification. Isn't that something she should have done before if she is such a big advocate of reunification?

- timeline:
"The adoptions of my son and daughter were finalized on December 2, 2013 but what was supposed to be a six month process turned into an almost three-year nightmare" + time when crisis with her husband escalated "I didn’t see September of 2015 coming." "He did not want me, the baby I was carrying" + "When my bio baby was six weeks old, I picked up my son from the airport. Three weeks later my daughter arrived." "I had five kids ages 4, 4, 2, 2, and six weeks old"
How does this add up? Was the two year old daughter form Congo close to turning 3 when she arrived? When did they arrive? It must have been at some point after September 2015. Did she manage to finalize the daughter's adoption when she was just a few days old?

- "When these babies were lying on a cold floor in an orphanage starving to death, before they even became my children, I gave them MY milk" Is she trying to say that these kids were actually starving and that she breastfed both of them while she was in Congo?
"I shipped them the best possible formula so that my son wouldn’t have to drink tea in a bottle. I paid extra to a nanny so that my son would not be left on a cold floor crying, but would be comforted and cared for."
This only mentions the son, maybe the daughter wasn't in the picture at that time? Maybe hadn't been born yet?

- "I learned their tribal language so that I could communicate with them." Eh, which language was that? And why did she only start when the kids were in the US?

- "If you think that any mother spends thousands of dollars to adopt, endures years of emotional anguish, and is forced to get her children out of a third world country in a manner that takes a sacrifice of everything she has because she wants to give up her children, you need a reality check."
Seeing as the whole non-profit thing and helping orphans and stuff was so much part of her life and important for her ego and as it also was her husband's and her parent's money being used while she had all the adventure and prestige, yes, I can imagine that the original plan was to give them to a different family.
I could even imagine that she used the adoption as a threat towards her husband when he wanted to separate - he separates, she would bring the kids home AND keep them instead of giving them to another family so he would have to pay. That would make his reaction far more understandable.
And when she was in over her head with the kids she decided to give them away after all because they were too much work and trouble.

- new family doesn't want the kids anymore:
"I received a text at 6 a.m. to come get my kids by 6pm that night." + "I had no insurance, child support for them, no way to get them to their schools, no therapy services, no help, no car seats, no knowledge of what had happened, a horrible attorney that I couldn’t even afford and wasn’t returning my calls, no way to pick them up, and I was dealing with a woman who was threatening to “play dirty” with me."
And this is where the whole "I love them just as my bio-children" narrative falls apart even more.
If she truly loved them as if they were her children she would have moved heaven and earth to pick them up and solve all these problems (minus the car seats) later.

- Guardian at litem:
"She interrogated me for more than two hours, accused me of abandoning my kids even though I had been trying to get them back, they were under a legal guardianship with another family, and I wasn’t the one who dropped them off at DFS."
Oh FFS, Megan! You handed them off to another family (even the boy who had apparently not caused you any trouble at all) and didn't pick them up when that family didn't want them anymore.
I would also call that abandoning them and would consider that they might be better off with a different family.

- about herself:
"I have a law degree (one of many degrees), am an outstanding member in my community, am involved in foreign missions, and have a substantial amount of evidence to support my position."
Seriously, you consider yourself an "outstanding" member of your community? Based on what? That you had your parents sell their belongings so that you could "adopt"? Or because you transferred other people's money to organizations in Congo? Or because you gave your kids away and didn't pick them up? I see nothing outstanding. And I haven't even voiced my opinion on those foreign missions.

- about the family that has her kids now and wants to keep them:
"This wasn’t just any family. This was a family who had adopted from Congo during the same time I did. I advocated for the release of their son right along with my own. I helped them with their adoption paperwork and vaccination exemptions. I donated to their adoption and their son’s orphanage. We went to the same church and they were my parent’s former small group leaders."
Or to say it in other words: This is a family who knows you and your parents. This a family who has experience with kids form Congo. And they don't want those kids to go back to you. Food for thought.

- "I am now re-married to an amazing Christian man (an engineer)" + "I am rebuilding my life."
Looks like she found somebody who can finance her dream of doing stuff for orphans and so now she wants them back I guess getting them back would be better for her image.

- "Not a day passes where I don’t regret sending my son, who did not have the issues my daughter had with her."  = I now wish I had a least kept the child that didn't give me any trouble.
So she didn't even have a reason to give him away. She just did.
(Disclaimer: You generally shouldn't give your kids away even if they cause you trouble. I recognize that there might be extreme circumstances in which a separation of parents and kids might be beneficial for the kids, but generally no.)

- "My kids should be participating in counseling with me, should be re-integrating into their family (not a foster family), and should be experiencing holidays, memories, and permanency in the home they were always meant to be in."
If that's what you think you shouldn't have given them away!

- "No parent should ever have to fear the removal of their children because they parent differently"
They weren't removed, you gave them away!

- "Adopting out another person’s child is NOT okay, "
You were in the process of adopting them out to another family!

This woman makes me angry.

And it's very clear to see that she left stuff out of her blog post to suit her narrative. Especially dates are missing which would make all of this clearer.

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Depressed
formergothardite
1 hour ago, Joyleaf said:

that maybe it hadn't been the plan in the beginning that these kids were going to live with Megan and her husband but that she planned to pass them on to another family once they had arrived in the US.

This makes the most amount of sense with this very convoluted story. Her story that she wanted them all along but gave them away, and now is the victim because CPS won't return the children she gave up doesn't add up at all. 

She kept saying that her ex-husband had rights to the children and so they couldn't be adopted, I wonder if he has signed over his rights when she signed over her's. It sounds like she essentially gave up her rights to these children and that is why no one will help her. 

Quote

I had the potential adoptive family complete a state approved home study, we signed a guardianship, they filed their petition to adopt, and they made an official announcement about how excited they were about my children, how hard I had fought for them, and praised my efforts to give them the best life possible.

Quote

 I had signed a guardianship that could only be terminated via a court order or by the expiration of time (which had not yet passed). What was I supposed to say, “the mother hurt my feelings and I have no reason to believe my kids are in danger, but I want them back … and no I still don’t have resources for them?”

To me it sounds like she wanted to do certain things like take them to doctor appointments and show up for holidays but leave other people to deal with the daily struggle of handling the children. These poor children. The trauma of what they have gone through because of her poor decisions has to have a long lasting impact on their lives. 

One of the reasons she gave for not getting the children when they told her to come get them is:

Quote

whether there were issues with the children (because people don’t just do this), 

So basically she was worried the children would have problems and she wasn't going to risk taking them unless someone told her what the problems were. 

Quote

They did no family assessment, gave me no details or information about my kids, did not ask me what happened, provided me with zero resources, did not transfer the kids to their proper jurisdiction (which was just 25 minutes away) so that I could get resources, and instead immediately set about trying to illegally adopt them out.

I bet they wouldn't help her at all because she had no legal rights to the children, a history of abandoning the children and refused to get the kids when recently told to come do so. At this point I hope the children are able to be adopted into a stable home where they can receive all the help they need to recover from everything that has happened to them. 

She seems like an extremely self-absorbed person who never viewed these children as actually being her children. 

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