Zach & Whitney Bates Part 6: That Thing In The Window Is Creepy

[nolongerIFBx]

52 minutes ago, theotherelise said:

As someone currently attending two support groups that deal with infertility AND loss, I will say that the encouraging sentiments expressed by people going through the two are often conflicting. There are certainly some similarities between the pain of the two experiences and plenty of overlap in the people experiencing them. But I often find myself having to just let the "comforting" phrases from people going through loss roll off me.

. . . .

I have learned not to say "Everything happens for a reason." I, personally, find it comforting. To me, it means that you can find meaning/growth experience in anything but I have come to realize that to other people what they hear is "God did this to me on purpose." I've learned not say "At least. . ." because that doesn't really help them and makes light of their situation.

I have learned that sometimes you just say, "I am sorry this is happening to you" and then shut up.

[Kelsey]

Everything happens for a reason gets me every single time. It and they are in a bettee place now are the two "comforting" phrases that make me upset. When my father died and people said either variation, I felt so much anger. Same for when I experienced a miscarriage (my only pregnancy, baby would have been 10 now). My siblings (3) have gone on to birth 18 children since my loss (some Duggar/Kelly Bates spacing and sets of twins). I am the oldest (and most stable). I'm pretty sure I'll have several more nieces/nephews. The announcements/births no longer bother me. My wound has had too much salt for there to be any effect now.

Kaci Lynn is a very Southern name. I imagine she would go with Maci or Jaycie for a girl. I was thinking Wesley or maybe Jeffrey for a boy.

[ihaveanexamintwodays]

3 hours ago, Audrey2 said:

Not another Fundie November birthday. I don't want to share! If you absolutely must have a November baby, kindly have it before the 20th. I don't want a Fundie baby born too close to my birthday, and this gives me a cushion.

I did not mark it from the previous page, but love the name Lucy! I know they wouldn't do this, but I would even be happy with Lucinda.

I don't have any guess as to what the name will be, though.

Seems like these fundies like their “I love you Day” lovin’ xD. I think it’ll be girl, and I could totally see them liking something like Merissa/Melissa/Madison, or maybe Emily/Abigail/Olivia.

Whit's looked a little fuller in the face in a few recent instagram pictures posted/tagged - not to mention modeling a batessistersboutique maternity-friendly dress haha. I wouldn't be surprised if we get one more announcement before Carlin's wedding from Erin (she was wearing the "nursing-friendly" batessistersboutique dress on their insta haha). 

Edited May 10, 2019 by ihaveanexamintwodays

[19tacos&counting]

I could also see Erin sneaking in an announcement by/on mother’s day. No way they can resist having the pregnant girls all lined up in one picture.

[Ivycoveredtower]

2 minutes ago, 19tacos&counting said:

I could also see Erin sneaking in an announcement by/on mother’s day. No way they can resist having the pregnant girls all lined up in one picture.

I mean it is kind of nice that Josie and Whitney will share this experience since they are so close.  though I'm hoping it's a boy for Whit way to many girls in the Bates fam right now. 

[AussieKrissy]

13 hours ago, Ivycoveredtower said:

honestly I hadn't thought about it but now that you pointed it out that makes my heart break so much for Micheal. look at that poor girl struggle, the one who everyone thought would have 20 kids doesn't seem to be able to conceive and her sister in law is all smug about how she knew she would get pregnant again. 

I hadn’t thought about it either.... not that I wish any babies into this cult, but yes I feel for Michael also after that. 

[CarrotCake]

12 hours ago, Ivycoveredtower said:

 

That last picture of Bradley and Kaci reminds me of the announcement of Joy and Austin Forsyth and it creeps me out.

[front hugs > duggs]

Ughhh I find Bradley to be the cutest little boy.  

My husband and I are ALMOST at the point where we feel ready for kids. We just got a puppy though, and we know we need to get used to our routine with her until adding babies to our family.

 

[VelociRapture]

If they announced at exactly 12 weeks then she’d be due November 22nd, the same day I’m due with my second child. I’d guess she’s due a week or two before that - so anytime between November 8th and 22nd is probably a good bet.

22 hours ago, nolongerIFBx said:

I have learned not to say "Everything happens for a reason." I, personally, find it comforting. To me, it means that you can find meaning/growth experience in anything but I have come to realize that to other people what they hear is "God did this to me on purpose." I've learned not say "At least. . ." because that doesn't really help them and makes light of their situation.

I have learned that sometimes you just say, "I am sorry this is happening to you" and then shut up.

Sometimes simply saying “I’m sorry this is happening to you,” is the only thing that really helps, regardless of the situation. My mother told me that at least we knew I could get pregnant and next time would be different while I was miscarrying my first pregnancy (yes, while I was still in the process of miscarrying.) She meant well and it was true enough, but it was also extremely hurtful and unhelpful. I told her that I didn’t want to talk about another pregnancy because I wanted the one I was currently losing. She didn’t say anything like that to me again, so thankfully she seemed to have learned her lesson. 

For anyone reading this, there is no shame in not knowing what to say when you’re faced with a situation you gave no experience with. If that happens to you all you have to really do is offer your sympathy and offer to let the person talk or cry or react however they feel is best. They might not want to open up to you, but knowing the offer is there could mean the world to them. 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

58 minutes ago, VelociRapture said:

 My mother told me that at least we knew I could get pregnant and next time would be different while I was miscarrying my first pregnancy (yes, while I was still in the process of miscarrying.) She meant well and it was true enough, but it was also extremely hurtful and unhelpful

Like you, I’ve been on he receiving end of some comments that I know were well intended but I have no idea what possessed them to say it.

i miscarried at 19.5 weeks 5 days before my mom died.  At her funeral I had one aunt tell me it was a blessing because the baby was probably “deformed” and in a better place.

another tell me that it was likely due to the stress of caring for my mom so I shouldn’t worry about it as the next one will be okay.

i learned a long time ago that after a genuine  “I am so sorry for your loss” people should stop talking.

(most people.  Obviously if you’re close and know what would be comforting that’s totally different but if not sure stay away from he platitudes and err on the side of not making it worse.)

Edited May 10, 2019 by HerNameIsBuffy

[nausicaa]

23 hours ago, nolongerIFBx said:

I have learned that sometimes you just say, "I am sorry this is happening to you" and then shut up.

Yep. This. I'm terrible in emotionally charged situations so I have some sympathy for people who put their foot in it because they have no idea what else to say.

So figuring this one out was a real life saver. You don't always have to tie things up in a neat bow. Sometimes shit just happens and it sucks balls that someone has to go through it. Full stop.

[Ivycoveredtower]

what Kelly has to say about the baby. I don't know sometimes I have to wonder how the other grands or kids feel when things like this are said. we all know Erin will favor Carson over the girls because of how much it took her to have him and I Have a feeling this baby will be treated as special all the time too because he/She came after a miscarriage. 

 

[HarleyQuinn]

I wonder who the baby will favor since they already have one mini Whitney (Bradley) and mini Zach (Kaci) Maybe this one will be half/half. 

[Pizza.pope]

On 5/10/2019 at 2:51 AM, CarrotCake said:

That last picture of Bradley and Kaci reminds me of the announcement of Joy and Austin Forsyth and it creeps me out.

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, HarleyQuinn said:

I wonder who the baby will favor since they already have one mini Whitney (Bradley) and mini Zach (Kaci) Maybe this one will be half/half. 

Both of those kids are so damn cute I can’t even imagine the next one. 

[TeaELSee]

2 hours ago, HarleyQuinn said:

I wonder who the baby will favor since they already have one mini Whitney (Bradley) and mini Zach (Kaci) Maybe this one will be half/half. 

My perception is very different from yours. I think Bradley is a clone of Zach, Kaci on the other hand, I’m not sure who she looks like.

I think the spacing between the kids will be healthy for them as a family.

Edited May 11, 2019 by TeaELSee

[Ivycoveredtower]

 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

59 minutes ago, Ivycoveredtower said:

 

If you just glance at this pic it looks like Zach has an incongruously small and feminine little foot!

[BeccaGrim]

I actually think both the kids look like Zach. 

[Ivycoveredtower]

31 minutes ago, BeccaGrim said:

I actually think both the kids look like Zach. 

don't know about Kaci but Bradley really reminds me of Judson and Jeb

[JermajestyDuggar]

I think we need to see a picture of Whitney as a child. That will help me decide. 

[Ivycoveredtower]

14 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I think we need to see a picture of Whitney as a child. That will help me decide. 

okay according to Fundamentalist wikipedia this is a picture of baby Whitney 

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 minute ago, Ivycoveredtower said:

okay according to Fundamentalist wikipedia this is a picture of baby Whitney 

 

That’s such a blurry picture. But if I had to say which kid she looked most like it would be Kaci.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

From a business perspective I wonder why TLC originally went with Duggars instead of the Bateseses.

They had to have known about both families from a little bit of research and while every bit as batshit hateful, the Bates kids are far more telegenic, overall, than the Duggars and that's what matters to the TV people.

And as it turns out the Bates are far more PR obedient and more accommodating to hiding their crazy to keep them palatable, to those not paying attention.   In retrospect they should have signed the grifters in Tennessee.

 

[nvmbr02]

I think Jim-Bob's political career may have started the TLC train. Wasn't he running for office or in office for one (or more) of the early specials? Was the Bates family a featured family back when TLC was doing a lot of the one or two episode shows highlighting mega families? I don't remember. I remember the Bates being shown on the Duggar's show as friends of theirs, but not having their own dedicated show. I could very well be remembering wrong, I only half watched a few shows in the early years and haven't followed either family very closely over the years.

I do agree that the Bates family (while being every bit as hateful as the Duggars) come off as less awkward and seem to be more PR savvy. 

Edited May 12, 2019 by nvmbr02
typed the wrong word!