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Alyssa & John 2: Getting By on Their Looks and Fashion Sense


HerNameIsBuffy

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On 12/19/2018 at 6:51 PM, lumpentheologie said:

Non gender-conforming women are, I believe, treated more harshly. Not shaving your legs, or not wearing makeup or caring about fashion, will get you called ugly, gross, unnatural, a lesbian, lazy, a slob, a freak, etc. You will be considered "not conventionally attractive" by most people, and for tons of people this will be a dealbreaker for dating you. You will be considered unprofessional in a lot of jobs. People will say you shouldn't post pictures of yourself looking like that on social media. If these consequences are unacceptable to you, you'll spend your life doing things to your body that you'd rather not do, and spending time and money and effort on making yourself acceptable, all ofnwhich takes time and money and effort away from doing things you're actually interested in. It can even hurt your health if you go without sleep or exercise because you feel forced to get up early to make yourself look right. 

Just wanted to comment in case the above paragraph would put anyone off from not wearing make-up, not caring about fashion, or not shaving their legs. I don't wear make-up and couldn't care less about fashion, and I've never heard any negative comments. At all. I've never been called any of those things. Not even a lesbian (though I've tried lol). In terms of gender non-conforming I once went to a quite  conservative church dressed in a (male) suit and tie, and got nothing but compliments. If that's a deal breaker for dating me - good, stay far away from me with your disgusting views. If that is considered unprofessional in a lot of jobs, well, not a place I'd wanna work for, and if I did, that's gender discrimination and I'd kick up a fuss. 

People have never said I shouldn't post pictures on social media, and if they did, watch me be a real bitch. 

I don't wear make-up, I don't care about fashion, most days it's just jeans and a jumper, and guess what? I look just as fly as the rest of them. 

Point is, don't lose sleep getting up at a godforsaken hour to look (the societal definition of) pretty if you don't want to. You won't necessarily be called any of those things. 

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10 hours ago, SorenaJ said:

Just wanted to comment in case the above paragraph would put anyone off from not wearing make-up, not caring about fashion, or not shaving their legs. I don't wear make-up and couldn't care less about fashion, and I've never heard any negative comments. At all. I've never been called any of those things. Not even a lesbian (though I've tried lol). In terms of gender non-conforming I once went to a quite  conservative church dressed in a (male) suit and tie, and got nothing but compliments. If that's a deal breaker for dating me - good, stay far away from me with your disgusting views. If that is considered unprofessional in a lot of jobs, well, not a place I'd wanna work for, and if I did, that's gender discrimination and I'd kick up a fuss. 

People have never said I shouldn't post pictures on social media, and if they did, watch me be a real bitch. 

I don't wear make-up, I don't care about fashion, most days it's just jeans and a jumper, and guess what? I look just as fly as the rest of them. 

Point is, don't lose sleep getting up at a godforsaken hour to look (the societal definition of) pretty if you don't want to. You won't necessarily be called any of those things. 

In my observations of conservative circles, a female doing more “masculine” things is usually more accepted than a male doing more “feminine” things. I say this as someone who has always been considered “tomboyish.”

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K4 I believe is an Abekka curriculum, so my guess is she is homeschooling.

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I think she said on a live video for bub that she wanted to homeschool

plus, from what I remember her congressman FIL is a huge homeschooling advocate and has helped pass some laws regarding it

Edited by VBOY9977
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K4 is just a designation many programs use for curriculum for four year olds or the year before formal kindergarten.  Granddaughter is currently doing K4 at her pre-school and they definitely don't use any religious curriculum.  Alyssa may very well use Abeka since Kelly used it for at least part of their home school program.

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The fact that she's starting now and not in September like a school would indicates to me that she's homeschooling.

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I have several homeschooling friends that post pictures like this, just like public schoolers. As others said, unless she admits to a public preschool, she's probably just doing preschool at home.

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6 hours ago, justmy2cents said:

The fact that she's starting now and not in September like a school would indicates to me that she's homeschooling.

She started homeschooling in september. She said she was willing to work with Allie.

Although I have a soft spot for Alyssa and John (comparing to other fundies) I see her badly prepared for homeschool. She wasn't a good student herself, has never showed interest in any cultural or academic field and seems to be an impatient person. I can picture her sitting her girls in a chair and making them work on the books, but I find hard to believe she can explain lessons or be really helpful if any of the girls has learning difficulties.

Alyssa seems an energetic young woman who enjoys having a job (maybe because she cleans offices when they are closed and it means silent time to her?). She has stated she doesn't like drama or too much noise. She's the kind of mother who'd enjoy putting kids in daycare or kindergarden. It's sad she can't do that because her adoctrination or simply because Taliban Dan forbids. 

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Do you think she would have the 'option' to at least send them to high school?

I am not sure how that goes in the US with switching between home school and 'normal' high school but if I look at me personally I would easily be capable of teaching my hypothetical children everything from elementary school (I would not have the patience though ? and I would assume that my children would have above average intelligence like both my boyfriend and me) but when it comes to high school I would be lost. 

I could imagine that it would be less of a big step for their community if anyone would decide on stopping home school when they come to high school age (I am not sure exactly which age middle/high school is but lets say after 12) then deciding to not home school at all. 

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15 minutes ago, CarrotCake said:

Do you think she would have the 'option' to at least send them to high school?

I am not sure how that goes in the US with switching between home school and 'normal' high school

In my state (and I believe most states) you can stop homeschooling your child at anytime and put them back into public school (as long as they haven't been expelled, obviously). And vice versa. 

I knew of two conservative families growing up who home schooled their kids from K-8 and then let them choose to continue home schooling or enter public high school. I think the thinking was that they were old enough to resist unchristian influences. 

The one set of kids dressed like middle-aged accountants, had social issues, and got teased. The other set of (eight) kids were outgoing, funny, and good at sports and singing, and therefore quite popular. 

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17 minutes ago, CarrotCake said:

Do you think she would have the 'option' to at least send them to high school?

 

Only if her homeschool-loving  father in law has retired from the US Congress by then. Since he is currently age 69, that is likely.

And only if there is a Protestant fundy Christian high school near by.

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I was excited for all of two seconds until I remember homeschooling was one of Taliban Dan's things. 

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2 hours ago, CarrotCake said:

Do you think she would have the 'option' to at least send them to high school?

She's probably praying real hard TalibanDan retires from politics before Allie hits high school. 

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I’m still holding out hope she will get into a homeschool coop with educated homeschool teachers so her kids might actually learn something. 

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24 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I’m still holding out hope she will get into a homeschool coop with educated homeschool teachers so her kids might actually learn something. 

Me too. Especially after the "I always confuse the cardinal directions" revelation. ?

Alyssa comes off as lacking in intellectual curiosity, however she does seem practical and with common sense. So this might happen. She might do something like Classical Conversations, which I guess could be decent if there are good teachers in her group. 

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I just hope she doesn't opt for the ABeka video courses which I've heard are especially awful, but people who want to homeschool with minimal effort are sometimes drawn to. 

2 hours ago, LawsonBatesEgo said:

She's probably praying real hard TalibanDan retires from politics before Allie hits high school. 

I'm not sure she is. Alyssa may like the cute outfits but she seems pretty okay with most of the stuff Taliban Dan preaches. I'm not sure she is dreading homeschooling. I can easily see Alyssa turning into a Jill Rod. where she would never dream of putting her kids in school but also sees nothing wrong with just handing kids books and making them educate themselves. 

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I would bet money she is using Abeka. It is so worksheet heavy, I think as long as she has a pulse, she can teach to it for homeschool.

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2 hours ago, formergothardite said:

I just hope she doesn't opt for the ABeka video courses which I've heard are especially awful, but people who want to homeschool with minimal effort are sometimes drawn to. 

I'm not sure she is. Alyssa may like the cute outfits but she seems pretty okay with most of the stuff Taliban Dan preaches. I'm not sure she is dreading homeschooling. I can easily see Alyssa turning into a Jill Rod. where she would never dream of putting her kids in school but also sees nothing wrong with just handing kids books and making them educate themselves. 

I can see her being excited about it now it is just Allie in Pre-K, but I wonder if she will still be feeling the home schooling thing when Allie is in 9th grade and needs to be taught algebra, and Lexie and Zoey and other couple of kids (minimum) she will surely have by then  need to be taught as well aand she possibly even has a couple of babies and toddlers in the house. I can not see Alyssa enjoying it at that point. 

I could see her struggling to keep enthusiastic about home schooling and want to send the girls to a private Christian school after a while (especially when it starts to get harder) because she doesn't seem to be particularly bright, intellectually curious or interested in the academics. 

Edited by LawsonBatesEgo
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Oh, I agree she will get bored out of her mind with homeschooling. But private school isn't cheap and both Alyssa and her husband are heavily into the movement that homeschooling is the only option. While she might shock us all and stick her kids in school, there is a strong possibility she will turn into Jill Rod. Jill is very focused on looks, not particularly bright or intellectually curious and her dislike of educating her children did nothing to make her think she should put them in school. I can see the kids being sit to work through books while Alyssa spends time on herself like Jill does. 

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I think Alyssa would actually love having her kids in Christian school, if only she had the option/realized it. She would like projects, go crazy on "spirit days" and "dress like a historical person days," love to volunteer for parent help, curl her girls' hair and make sure their uniform was styled impeccably, and wouldn't have to pretend she is enthusiastic about school work!

I get the foreboding impression that these second-generation parents who were raised on programs like Abeka with parents that actually did attend some sort of college / real high school will not be as successful homeschooling their own children . . . 

Joy Duggar only went up to Algebra in math, for example. That's 8th/9th grade level. What happens when your son (let's say daughters never reach this point in their world) goes on to Trig or Calc? Does Abeka really teach that just with worksheets and videos? 

 

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I think the "not-so-feminine women have it rough" idea must depend on your region/where you work. I never wear makeup (don't know how!), sometimes shave, and don't style my straight hair (ahh, white privilege!). I work in Earth Sciences where this is all common. No one says anything (to my face). One of my good friends who's a mining geologist often feels like she wishes it were more common to wear make-up in her field as she feels judged for covering her acne scars!

Basically, there's no way to win, is what I'm saying.

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