Jump to content
IGNORED

Maxwell 26: The Toothbrush Thing Is Real


HerNameIsBuffy

Recommended Posts

15 hours ago, Candydandy said:

I remember when our giving tree was personalized so you knew the persons age size and what they needed. It was fun and gratifying to shop  for them. Now our church asks for gift cards and I find it so unpersonal. We didnt include  tracts with our gifts though. Maybe the Maxwells just feel joy to shop for those Christmas boxes? I assume the Maxwells include tracts in their boxes so there goes that idea. Im so naive sometimes.

As I mentioned in my earlier rant, I think this is the entire crux of Operation Christmas Child, and it's especially galling and money-wasting because, well, they fucking sell toys in Guatemala/Rwanda/Albania, and the charity could probably save a shitload on overhead and logistics by just taking well-meaning white people's money and buying the toys and shit there, which also, ya know, supports those local economies because you're buying from local shopkeepers and importers, or at the very least, you're patronizing stores in-country where local people work and earn a wage (because guess what? Wal-Mart, often via companies it acquired majority share/control of, is in TONS of developing countries). 

Like missioncations, the entire purpose of OCC is to make white fundies feel good about themselves and make grand charitable gestures that are ultimately lazy and selfish, and do nothing to actually help the poor or reform the systems that make and keep them poor. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 603
  • Created
  • Last Reply
8 hours ago, nastyhobbitses said:

Like missioncations, the entire purpose of OCC is to make white fundies feel good about themselves and make grand charitable gestures that are ultimately lazy and selfish, and do nothing to actually help the poor or reform the systems that make and keep them poor. 

With a Maxwell-friendly bonus of shielding you from actually interacting with anyone different from you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sarah's new book is called Finding Change, and it's setting is a place called Hill Top. Could make for some good Walking Dead parodies. 

There's apparently a tragic event in the characters' past and my guess will be the loss of a baby sibling. 

Oh, and of course, they have an English Cream Golden Retriever. Because Sarah has no imagination. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 11/13/2018 at 7:42 AM, danvillebelle said:

Just when I think Sarah's syntax cannot possibly be more awkward, she knocks another one out of the park:

"The lady Anna and Mary minister with for Bible club
hung cold weather gear on the fence
for those who needed them to take."

This....this...is some sort of a Word Scramble game, right? Right?

 

PS I see that there is a sign on the fence that seems to say "leasing office"-- is their bible club perhaps in the community center of a public housing complex?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The new book is out!! And let's play spot the bad phrases--just in the post alone makes a great game!

"The bake contest"-- does she mean a casserole "chicken noodle bake" contest or a bakING contest??

 

Next?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oh, bliss!  The snark potential!

"Finding Change"  I suspect not under the sofa cushions.

Some of the characters:

Quote

Emma Rae Clarke—A 10-year-old girl who has determination and a love for her family. She’s just moved to Hill Top from Texas, which is a huge change. But Emma can handle it, as long as she has Taffy and Dad keeps his job. With brown hair, she’s an average girl who takes life as it comes.

Sarah's second name. And Taffy the "English Cream." Emma's an average 10 year-old girl with brown hair and loves her family.

Quote

Ethan James Clarke—You can spot 8-year-old Ethan anywhere with that cowlick because you certainly won’t find him talking. He collects broken lawnmowers to fix up. Ethan’s a big fan of reading.

I hope he doesn't do baby-speak like Maddie Moodie.

Quote

Mom (Rachel) Clarke—Emma’s mom is a soft-spoken, kind lady, who is organized and makes her home a cozy haven. She’s a wonderful support to her husband, even in the tough times. 

Mom (Teri).

Quote

You’d better not leave your socks around if Taffy is near.

Humor abounds!  And Taffy is more important to the book than:

Quote

Dad (Alan) Clarke—At six-feet tall, Dad is a caring dad. He’s 38, and five years older than Mom. He loves to spend time with his kids and has a competitive streak when playing games. Due to a high school injury, he’s had trouble keeping a job.

Fiction!  Although Steve left his job.

An Uncle and Aunt who are probably not the right kind of Christian but Emma Rae has a friend

Quote

Brooke—14-year-old Brooke lives right next door and is a great friend to Emma. Brooke is thoughtful and kind and understands Emma’s struggles. Ashley, her mom, is a librarian at Hill Top’s library.

and her mom works at a library!

Quote

Hunter—9-year-old Hunter is Brooke’s only brother. Watch out for his unusual snacks.

Deprived child.  More humor!

Quote

Miss Karr—This older lady is the town gossip. She keeps a close eye on Hill Top from her porch, because, after all, her house is situated right at the top of the hill. Miss Karr also takes care of stray cats.

Miss Karr is modeled on Free Jinger.

Quote

Sandy—She and her husband own a coffee shop in Hill Top, and it’s called by her name. This lady carries a sparkle about her, and she loves Jesus and kids.

Gregory—He’s Sandy’s husband who stays quietly in the background.

Sandy and her husband own "Sandy's Coffee and Jesus Shoppe"  Gregory stays quiet because Sarah doesn't know how to write dialogue for a man who isn't a related to her.

Quote

Kimiko—Kimiko lives on the other side of Emma and Ethan, and her yard has won the Most Beautiful Yard Award. She’s very friendly.

And probably Japanese-American by the name.  Sarah researched and read The Road to Manzanar.  

Quote

My sister Mary crafted the amazing illustrations. She poured her heart and artistic talent into them, giving you an incredible glimpse into Emma and Ethan’s world. She also designed and drew the cover, her talent shining clearly.

Mary can draw but the cover is pretty bad.  Check out Ethan's eyebrows.  Her talent at facepainting shines more clearly.

Quote

In addition, my sister Anna spent many hours reading the book and adding a sparkle to it. She re-wrote some of the action scenes, doing a beautiful job of making them come alive. Mom also invested time editing. She has a gifted eye for sentence structure!

It is all Teri's fault!

Quote

Our professional copyeditor, Scott, did an incredible job. He took on my project when he already had tight deadlines.

He missed that word.  Most style manuals and Merriam-Webster used two words:  copy and editor.  I hope he is a new copy editor. Summer With the Moodys was very badly edited. 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

10 minutes ago, Palimpsest said:

Oh, bliss!  The snark potential!

"Finding Change"  I suspect not under the sofa cushions.

Some of the characters:

Sarah's second name. And Taffy the "English Cream." Emma's an average 10 year-old girl with brown hair and loves her family.

I hope he doesn't do baby-speak like Maddie Moodie.

Mom (Teri).

Humor abounds!  And Taffy is more important to the book than:

Fiction!  Although Steve left his job.

An Uncle and Aunt who are probably not the right kind of Christian but Emma Rae has a friend

and her mom works at a library!

Deprived child.  More humor!

Miss Karr is modeled on Free Jinger.

Sandy and her husband own "Sandy's Coffee and Jesus Shoppe"  Gregory stays quiet because Sarah doesn't know how to write dialogue for a man who isn't a related to her.

And probably Japanese-American by the name.  Sarah researched and read The Road to Manzanar.  

Mary can draw but the cover is pretty bad.  Check out Ethan's eyebrows.  Her talent at facepainting shines more clearly.

It is all Teri's fault!

He missed that word.  Most style manuals and Merriam-Webster used two words:  copy and editor.  I hope he is a new copy editor. Summer With the Moodys was very badly edited. 

 

So, after reading the quotes you pulled, I must come to the conclusion that having brown hair makes one "average," and a father being six feet tall is inextricably linked to his level of caring?

And working women are featured in this book? Ye gods! Perhaps the librarian will be convicted of her sin and become a SAHM. And perhaps Gregory will assert his rightful place in "The Coffee and Jesus Shoppe," remove two words and the last two letters of the name, and rebrand the place to have a more universal appeal.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, anjulibai said:

Sarah's new book is called Finding Change...

It must be this migraine from hell that I've had all day, because at first I read Fisting Change :smellie_lol:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Re: Mary illustrating the ark story

This picture made me think of this:

When I was a resident we had a neuroradiology professor who would illustrate neuroanatomy while lecturing. He would deliver a well thought out  (and complicated because neuroradiology is not a walk in the park) talk while drawing the pertinent anatomy with both hands - each hand drawing one side of the picture. He could draw the pertinent (and complicated) anatomy in any plane - sagittal, coronal, odd off axis imaging etc. It was stunning and we would all sit there in rapt attention knowing we were in the presence of genius.

I notice that not one of Mary's charges is paying attention to her and she looks oblivious to her audience as she focuses on her picture.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So I'm guessing we'll find out a "tragic" event in Sarah's past given that she has no imagination to come up with something she hasn't personally experianced. My money is on watching cartoons or having neighborhood friends. Ooh! Maybe we'll find out what tragedy occurred at the one sleepover she went to as a child. Ouji board or PG-13 movie?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Lisafer said:

So, after reading the quotes you pulled, I must come to the conclusion that having brown hair makes one "average," and a father being six feet tall is inextricably linked to his level of caring?

That kind of careless wording irks me to no end.

And I must also point out that dad is apparently not six feet tall, he's "six-feet tall".  Argh!

/pedant tantrum

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The most likely possibility for the tragedy given Sarah's lack of imagination:  The Clark parents lost a child tragically like Nathan and Melanie.  That's when Mom became a True Christian.  I would find that exploitative and disrespectful of Nathan and Melanie's feelings and grief personally, but Sarah's boundaries are fucked.

On a lighter note:  They found something nasty in the woodshed. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, anjulibai said:

Nathan's middle name is James. 

Ethan James, Nathan James, Emma Rae, Sarah Rae. 

Oy.

Don’t forget Drew! 

Only two siblings this time. Interesting.

I wonder what Aunt Nicole did?? Not forgiving someone doesn’t sound very Christian... unless the whole point of this first book is that they don’t have religion yet and get converted???

We also get short samples, including an explanation as to what ramps leading to public buildings are for.

Ok... is someone going to take one for the team? 

(When you click onto the link for the book it’s mentioned that Emma will “never forgive Aunt Nicole”.)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 minute ago, church_of_dog said:

That kind of careless wording irks me to no end.

And I must also point out that dad is apparently not six feet tall, he's "six-feet tall".  Argh!

/pedant tantrum

Me too.  Unforgivable in a published book with a professional "copyeditor." 

But I hate re-reading my posts on FJ.  I make many typos, and leave out words and punctuation because my brain works faster than my fingers.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So the town in Sarah's new book is Hill Top.

Any Walking Dead fans here??

For those that aren't, Hilltop is one of the key communities in the Walking Dead zombie show.  It shelters its inhabitants from the outer world of dangerous zombies,  as well as other frightening humans.   Fitting choice for a Maxwell.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

18 minutes ago, Palimpsest said:

Me too.  Unforgivable in a published book with a professional "copyeditor." 

But I hate re-reading my posts on FJ.  I make many typos, and leave out words and punctuation because my brain works faster than my fingers.

But posts on a forum don't really require the careful editing of a published book. I try to avoid typos on FJ, but when I'm about to release a self-published story, I'm much more careful. 

Sarah's "copyeditor" sucks balls.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

22 minutes ago, mango_fandango said:

Ok... is someone going to take one for the team? 

I'm tempted, even though I don't want to give them my money or my home address.  Perhaps second-hand via Amazon.

2 minutes ago, Lisafer said:

But posts on a forum don't really require the careful editing of a published book. I try to avoid typos on FJ, but when I'm about to release a self-published story, I'm much more careful. 

Yes, agreed.  However, I occasionally work as a copy editor although I primarily write for a living.  Seeing my own mistakes makes me want to scream! :)

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

43 minutes ago, Palimpsest said:

On a lighter note:  They found something nasty in the woodshed. 

I didn't want to give this post a "Ha Ha" response, because of the sad bit before this sentence. But this sentence really deserves to be laughed at by me. :laughing-rolling:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

58 minutes ago, mango_fandango said:

 

Only two siblings this time. Interesting.

 

 

 

Trying to go mainstream? No kid who has ever attended school --even the strictest fundamentalist religious school of any kind, would find these "fascinating" unless they are into snark. They really do read like a late elementary student's entry in a student author workshop. I've read two.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, mango_fandango said:

I wonder what Aunt Nicole did??

Maybe abortion killed babies?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 minutes ago, IReallyAmHopewell said:

Trying to go mainstream? No kid who has ever attended school --even the strictest fundamentalist religious school of any kind, would find these "fascinating" unless they are into snark. They really do read like a late elementary student's entry in a student author workshop. I've read two.

I read the samples--or at least as much as I could handle. I think Sarah was really trying, because there's a slightly different tone when compared to the Moody books. The dialogue isn't quite as stilted, the mother is actually involved with her children, and people outside the immediate family are involved in this story.

And it makes me feel bad for Sarah, because she's making an effort and it's still not very good. Sarah, the only way to really get better is to study other people's writing, maybe take classes, join a writer's group, something beyond letting your family critique your stories. I took Creative Writing in community college, and it was amazingly beneficial, even though I was still quite fundie at the time. (My jewel of a teacher even accommodated my religious objection to theatrical productions). 

I did notice the subtle ageism in the first chapter (Emma thinks the neighbor's eyesight is good "for her age"). Come on, Sarah. Age does not define people or their abilities. Also note the unspecified "exclamation" that Miss Karr uses when her cat jumps off her lap. What did she say that was so terrible? Son of a seabiscuit? 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

What did Aunt Nicole do?!? So many possible fan theories:

Wore pants like a hussy

Watched SpongeBob SquarePants one time

Didn't break her day down into fifteen-minute increments

Seasoned her burrito beans

Didn't dust her ceiling fans

Divulged to the world the dangerous forbidden technique of cutting lettuce with a pizza cutter

Link to comment
Share on other sites

41 minutes ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

I didn't want to give this post a "Ha Ha" response, because of the sad bit before this sentence. But this sentence really deserves to be laughed at by me. :laughing-rolling:

I have found another Cold Comfort Farm fan.  :happy-bouncyblue:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I also noticed that, about how Emma seems to have a non-family friend. The Moodys only ever interacted with each other and “the elderly”. 

I’ve also been tempted to get a Moody book in the past for snark purposes, but am also wary of lining Stevie’s pockets. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Coconut Flan locked this topic

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.



×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.