Maxwell 26: The Toothbrush Thing Is Real

[HerNameIsBuffy]

1 hour ago, freejugar said:

Those sample chapters are a small improvement, but ugh...this is just bad

Poor Sarah, I imagine she must have been quite proud of this mess, and probably thinks she's made great strides as a writer

I hope she doesn't read this stuff - to hear criticism with no way of using it to improve would be heartbreaking.

And if it is better than previous stuff she should be proud.  Improvement is always something of which to be proud even if it's not 100% there yet.

[asta]

I read the 2 samples and I didn't find them that bad, tbh I'd really like to know what happened to the dog at the end of sample one. 

 

[Alisamer]

14 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

I hope she doesn't read this stuff - to hear criticism with no way of using it to improve would be heartbreaking.

And if it is better than previous stuff she should be proud.  Improvement is always something of which to be proud even if it's not 100% there yet.

I'm pretty sure she's well filtered away from here. She doesn't even get email that isn't pre-approved by dad.

I do wish she had more opportunities to improve, if she does enjoy writing. There is a massive, massive amount of help available - BUT... you have to be allowed access to the internet, interact with people not related to you, and/or allowed to read books that aren't the Bible to get it.

Sarah, if you do manage to find this - you are an adult and your dad has NO legal say in anything at all you choose to do. If you are happy, that's great, but you CAN try new things, read new things, go to a writing workshop, try on a pair of pants, put meat in your burritos, go on vacation wherever you want, etc. God cares about what's in your heart, all that stuff your dad goes on about is just works, isn't necessarily biblical, and doesn't really matter!

[Lisafer]

44 minutes ago, IReallyAmHopewell said:

I got one when it was free for Kindle. Oiy. Even the Castleberry books on courtship are better.

Slightly better, lol! They were pretty horrible!

[Black Aliss]

I am still enjoying the concept of "giant paleolithic chickpeas". Now to try to work that phrase into a conversation somehow.

[Lisafer]

39 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

I hope she doesn't read this stuff - to hear criticism with no way of using it to improve would be heartbreaking.

And if it is better than previous stuff she should be proud.  Improvement is always something of which to be proud even if it's not 100% there yet.

The thing is, if you publish anything, you will get bad reviews. I've had extremely negative reviews of my work. I read them and either laugh or try to use them to improve. Of course, it's usually because my books are "ungodly" or have "too much sex." If somebody called my work "boring" I'd be far more concerned that I'd messed something up.

Sarah is an adult. She published and put it out there. Criticism aids growth, imo.

But I don't think she reads here, and I wouldn't diss her on Amazon because I feel like that's unprofessional on my part.

[usedbicycle]

So Dad and Mom Clarke had Emma at the ages of 23 and 28, then Ethan at 25 and 30. ? That's awful young for a godly mommy to stop procreating...

By any chance, did Daddy Clarke make a regrettably "snippy" decision? Maybe his failure to keep a job stems from his inability to trust the Lord's provision in other areas of his life? Maybe after praying about it, Daddy goes to the Doctor in Chapter 16 to mend his manhood?

And perhaps that in Chapter 20, the kids wake up to a surprise scripture verse on the kitchen chalkboard: "Lo, children are a heritage of the Lord and the fruit of the womb is his reward"?

I'll donate $100 to Planned Parenthood if any of this is actually part of the plot. 

(Ethan thinks this is funny too)

 

[Lisafer]

@HerNameIsBuffy, also I apologize if I came off snippy at all, or like I was contradicting you. I was trying to reply to you while waiting for labwork at the doctor's office, so I wasn't in the best frame of mind! I agree that I would be sad for Sarah to read these critiques while in her current sheltered belief system. My snark about her books, although valid, is not intended for her--and if she came to Free Jinger, surely she would quickly figure out what to expect if she read Maxwell threads! 

I do feel that Sarah, if she wants to be an author, should not expect different treatment than any other author.  

I love snark of all kinds, but snarking is definitely like walking a tightrope between hilarious and mean.

 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

27 minutes ago, Lisafer said:

@HerNameIsBuffy, also I apologize if I came off snippy at all, or like I was contradicting you. I was trying to reply to you while waiting for labwork at the doctor's office, so I wasn't in the best frame of mind! I agree that I would be sad for Sarah to read these critiques while in her current sheltered belief system. My snark about her books, although valid, is not intended for her--and if she came to Free Jinger, surely she would quickly figure out what to expect if she read Maxwell threads! 

I do feel that Sarah, if she wants to be an author, should not expect different treatment than any other author.  

I love snark of all kinds, but snarking is definitely like walking a tightrope between hilarious and mean.

 

No worries - I didn't take it as snippy at all.

I wrote recaps for large audiences for years, technical writing was a large part of my jobs, and currently do some ghost writing in what my daughter calls a side hustle ... so while I don't make a living writing I am no stranger to public critique.  

It was just what you said, the protected, seemingly fragile Sarah is who I felt for ... but I wholeheartedly agree if she wants to write she needs to be able to deal with feedback and assess it properly.

But if I were giving another writer legit feedback it wouldn't be snarky like I am here.

[SilverBeach]

On 11/14/2018 at 2:13 PM, Black Aliss said:

And here I sit, older than Teri, typing away without need for corrective lenses (and I've never had Lasix).

Yep, 63 and I still have 20/20 vision in one eye and better than that in the other. Ageism sucks.

[mango_fandango]

What’s weird about the glasses thing is that Jesse has glasses. One of the Moody boys even gets glasses at some point (gee, wonder where Sarah got that idea from). 

I’ve had glasses since the age of 10 for nearsightedness. Originally they were for reading but I now wear them pretty much full time (easier to keep them in rather than taking them on and off). I have contact lenses too, but most days I CBA to put them in; much easier to wake up and stick glasses on as opposed to washing hands and putting lenses in, cursing when a lens just plops out of my eye when I thought it had gone in, etc. 

[IReallyAmHopewell]

4 hours ago, Lisafer said:

Slightly better, lol! They were pretty horrible!

THough not great writing, I did "enjoy" [find interesting] the Castleberry's story of their "homestead"

[Lisafer]

2 minutes ago, IReallyAmHopewell said:

THough not great writing, I did "enjoy" [find interesting] the Castleberry's story of their "homestead"

The thing I remember most clearly is the Maxwellian tale of how the father talked about a sinful "correcting spirit" during devotions, and then Jeff's ladylove politely corrected his mother about the temperature, and then Jeff corrected her about correcting his mother. Needless to say, the woman was the only "sinner" in this scenario. It was so painful and overwrought!

[deborahlynn1979]

6 hours ago, Alisamer said:

Sarah's writing is especially noticeable in November, when there are tons and tons of other people writing for NaNoWriMo. 

It's a little sad that her drivel gets published, when I'm sure there are many (much better)  authors whose work will never see the light of day.

Well, to be fair, she’s self-publishing, which anyone can do these days. I’d he far more horrified if an actual publisher was behind this, instead of Mommy and Daddy.

[Jana814]

Just now, deborahlynn1979 said:

 I’d he far more horrified if an actual publisher was behind this, instead of Mommy and Daddy.

So would I.  I know someone who wrote a book and it’s a great one. I think she was able to publish her book because she has connections in publishing. 

[FloraDoraDolly]

3 hours ago, usedbicycle said:

So Dad and Mom Clarke had Emma at the ages of 23 and 28, then Ethan at 25 and 30. ? That's awful young for a godly mommy to stop procreating...

By any chance, did Daddy Clarke make a regrettably "snippy" decision? Maybe his failure to keep a job stems from his inability to trust the Lord's provision in other areas of his life? Maybe after praying about it, Daddy goes to the Doctor in Chapter 16 to mend his manhood?

And perhaps that in Chapter 20, the kids wake up to a surprise scripture verse on the kitchen chalkboard: "Lo, children are a heritage of the Lord and the fruit of the womb is his reward"?

I'll donate $100 to Planned Parenthood if any of this is actually part of the plot. 

(Ethan thinks this is funny too)

 

Am I the only one who thinks Ethan looks like Cameron from "Ferris Bueller's Day Off"?

[Lisafer]

11 minutes ago, FloraDoraDolly said:

Am I the only one who thinks Ethan looks like Cameron from "Ferris Bueller's Day Off"?

Ok, I actually don't mean this as snarky: based on the picture and the mention of Ethan "not talking," could Sarah be trying to portray a child with a disability? I could see the drawing as being a not-great attempt at depicting a child with Down's Syndrome.

[Dandruff]

So this isn't about a kid finding money, followed by a Maxwellian odyssey about what to do with it?

[Lisafer]

7 minutes ago, Dandruff said:

So this isn't about a kid finding money, followed by a Maxwellian odyssey about what to do with it?

Save it up and buy a house debt-free! Don't give it to the needy, Jesus would never have done that. Jesus was responsible. He saved his pennies, avoided debt, and entered a courtship at thirty-thr--oh wait.

[anniebgood]

Nice picture of John and Chelsey on the Bont Instagram.They are with her grandparents. She's got quite a little bump now. I can't figure how to take pictures from Instagram so you'll have to go look....

[Odd1Out]

1 hour ago, Lisafer said:

Ok, I actually don't mean this as snarky: based on the picture and the mention of Ethan "not talking," could Sarah be trying to portray a child with a disability? I could see the drawing as being a not-great attempt at depicting a child with Down's Syndrome.

I don’t think so, based on the chapter sample he’s included in. 

I think it means he’s always absorbed in tinkering on lawn motors and his parents never read the Maxwell book on making your children into great conversationalists. 

[LilMissMetaphor]

Seriously though, what 8-year-old wants to fix lawn mowers? All the 8-year-olds I know, mine included, are into Youtube and Minecraft and video games and online shit.

Maybe fundie 8-year-olds fix lawn mowers?? 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

31 minutes ago, LilMissMetaphor said:

Seriously though, what 8-year-old wants to fix lawn mowers? All the 8-year-olds I know, mine included, are into Youtube and Minecraft and video games and online shit.

Maybe fundie 8-year-olds fix lawn mowers?? 

I'm more overprotective than a Maxwell - I wouldn't let any of my kids touch a lawnmower at eight.

[Lisafer]

52 minutes ago, LilMissMetaphor said:

Seriously though, what 8-year-old wants to fix lawn mowers? All the 8-year-olds I know, mine included, are into Youtube and Minecraft and video games and online shit.

Maybe fundie 8-year-olds fix lawn mowers?? 

My 7.5 year old is into model railroads and playing in the dirt. I don't let him use Youtube or play Minecraft.

Maybe I'm a mean mother. Or a Maxwell ?

[anjulibai]

22 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

I'm more overprotective than a Maxwell - I wouldn't let any of my kids touch a lawnmower at eight.

I'd be a ok if it was with supervision. Definitely not alone.