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HerNameIsBuffy

Bontragers and Bowers 3: Kittens Having None of Their Shit

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ophelia
1 hour ago, lilith said:

Axton’s face......

415D95F0-8C2E-40B9-8740-3396BDFF4CF5.png

Feel you buddy, feel you. 

I hope he keeps his skeptical look. 

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Lgirlrocks
37 minutes ago, ophelia said:

Feel you buddy, feel you. 

I hope he keeps his skeptical look. 

I hope they never beat it out of him. 

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ophelia
2 minutes ago, Lgirlrocks said:

I hope they never beat it out of him. 

I hope the same things, but I really doubt it. After reading through Chelsy's entire blog, I'm now reading through the Bontrager Family blog and get the feeling that Becky was a real strict mother and that the Bontrager kids were disciplined quite harshly while growing up.

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Lgirlrocks
2 minutes ago, ophelia said:

I hope the same things, but I really doubt it. After reading through Chelsy's entire blog, I'm now reading through the Bontrager Family blog and get the feeling that Becky was a real strict mother and that the Bontrager kids were disciplined quite harshly while growing up.

Josh has posted about getting punished the most. It breaks my heart. The Bontragers support the pearls. 

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JermajestyDuggar
6 hours ago, ophelia said:

I hope the same things, but I really doubt it. After reading through Chelsy's entire blog, I'm now reading through the Bontrager Family blog and get the feeling that Becky was a real strict mother and that the Bontrager kids were disciplined quite harshly while growing up.

They are Ex-Amish/Mennonite. I’ve never actually heard of an Amish family that was against spanking. I believe it’s pretty common in their culture. Although they are now fundie baptists, their Amish family culture is still there imo. I’m sure they spanked those kids a lot. And mixed in the happy countenance bull shit in with it. So poor Axton will probably be trained to smile even when he isn’t happy. 

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Shouldabeenacowboy
8 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

They are Ex-Amish/Mennonite. I’ve never actually heard of an Amish family that was against spanking. I believe it’s pretty common in their culture. Although they are now fundie baptists, their Amish family culture is still there imo. I’m sure they spanked those kids a lot. And mixed in the happy countenance bull shit in with it. So poor Axton will probably be trained to smile even when he isn’t happy

This is so sad on so many levels. It breaks this mama's heart 😢

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JermajestyDuggar
1 minute ago, Shouldabeenacowboy said:

This is so sad on so many levels. It breaks this mama's heart 😢

I’ll be honest and say it’s pretty common in Midwest culture in general. But the Amish are known for being strict parents and use spanking. 

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Shouldabeenacowboy
Just now, JermajestyDuggar said:

I’ll be honest and say it’s pretty common in Midwest culture in general. But the Amish are known for being strict parents and use spanking. 

Still sad. Violence is never OK. 

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Pecansforeveryone

Spanking as a method of discipline is fairly common in various parts of the US. I have heard more than one person (not one of them fundie) who say spanking was just a part of growing up in the South. Comics like Jeff Foxworthy and Russell Peters ( who is the son of Indian immigrants) who routines about getting spanked as a child. I think it basically just teaches a child to be afraid and try extra hard not to get caught. I am horrified that the Pearls aren't in prison and that anyone would ever endorse them. 

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lilith
3 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I’ll be honest and say it’s pretty common in Midwest culture in general. But the Amish are known for being strict parents and use spanking. 

Michael Pearl credits watching Amish families with inspiring many of his child training methods......

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nvmbr02

I am not a fan of spanking and it isn't something we have ever considered for our children but I grew up on the west coast and it was pretty common there. I'm 39, so I'm not talking about the 50s and 60s, more like the 80s and 90s. None of our good friend spank their children but I think that has more to do with the types of people we make friends with. My children have plenty of friends that were spanked as young children (now that they are teen/pre teens I haven't heard of anyone being spanked in quite awhile). Again, I personally don't think it is okay to spank your children but many people think it is a perfectly acceptable thing to do .

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lilith
7 hours ago, nvmbr02 said:

I am not a fan of spanking and it isn't something we have ever considered for our children but I grew up on the west coast and it was pretty common there. I'm 39, so I'm not talking about the 50s and 60s, more like the 80s and 90s. None of our good friend spank their children but I think that has more to do with the types of people we make friends with. My children have plenty of friends that were spanked as young children (now that they are teen/pre teens I haven't heard of anyone being spanked in quite awhile). Again, I personally don't think it is okay to spank your children but many people think it is a perfectly acceptable thing to do .

It’s different in fundie land though - corporal punishment isn’t just seen as a choice of child rearing method, it’s viewed as an obligation to God. People like the Bontragers think that people who don’t use “the rod of correction” are doing their children a disservice and going against the word of god. They also blame many of what they see as the evils of the modern world as a direct result of the decline of spanking.

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HerNameIsBuffy
6 hours ago, lilith said:

It’s different in fundie land though - corporal punishment isn’t just seen as a choice of child rearing method, it’s viewed as an obligation to God. People like the Bontragers think that people who don’t use “the rod of correction” are doing their children a disservice and going against the word of god. They also blame many of what they see as the evils of the modern world as a direct result of the decline of spanking.

I know I’ve said this before but the rod thing bothers me so much.

My mom (devout Catholic converted to fundy lite) said “spare the rod and spoil the child” referred to guiding a child as a Shepard guides his sheep.  He doesn’t beat his sheep with his rod, he uses it to guide them and keep them safe.

She absolutely felt that was a parents job to provide guidance, protection, and supervision which had fuck all to do with corporal punishment.

Isn’t this a common alternate interpretation?  Or did my pacifist mom just spin things in the most gentle way possible in her head...because she did that.

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nausicaa
2 hours ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

I know I’ve said this before but the rod thing bothers me so much.

My mom (devout Catholic converted to fundy lite) said “spare the rod and spoil the child” referred to guiding a child as a Shepard guides his sheep.  He doesn’t beat his sheep with his rod, he uses it to guide them and keep them safe.

She absolutely felt that was a parents job to provide guidance, protection, and supervision which had fuck all to do with corporal punishment.

I've always thought of "the rod" as the symbol of structure in our lives: bedtimes, chores, doing homework, cleaning your room, having to apologize when you mess up. Sheep don't get to just run around wherever the hell they want. The shepherd hooks their leg to pull them back into alignment with the group (society); not to scare it into submission (sheep are pretty dumb anyway, and I imagine don't have much long term memory or understanding of cause and effect).

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mango_fandango

I will never, ever understand how anyone can look at a small baby and even contemplate spanking them. These people don't deserve children. It's a sick example of taking the Bible literally. 

@HerNameIsBuffy I've also seen that interpretation of "spare the rod", I forget where. 

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Lgirlrocks

My parents spanked. They were both spanked growing up. They never beat us like fundies do. My dads dad left when he was eight and his mom didn’t believe in spanking so my dad got in a lot of trouble. In and out of juvenile detention centers. He believed if he had been spanked more as a kid he wouldn’t have gotten in trouble. Everyone I went to church with was spanked. 

I don’t agree with spanking. I think there are better ways to teach your kids right from wrong. 

I hope that chelsy and John can break the mold and not beat their children. I doubt it but you never know.

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AliceInFundyland

Yeah I think it's the whole rod and training as way of life thing that's abhorrent.

I am 39. My dad is as pacifist as they come. I got spanked twice.

Once I threw my broccoli in the toilet and lied about it. (I find this humorous and not really punishable.)

The other time I acted out in some adult only gathering that was long and hot. I was punished later.

I kinda think they revised their thinking.

Anyhow, it isn't something that left me as damaged as other things.

I wouldn't do it and I am glad it has fallen out of practice.

I was beyond shocked when I learned of the Pearl's methodology. It blows my mind.

 

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