Bontragers and Bowers 3: Kittens Having None of Their Shit

[LurkerOverThePond]

40 minutes ago, ophelia said:

Looking at Charlie, I bet that there are plenty fundie maidens that are about to get all excited. Damn he is good looking.

To each their own: I don't find him attractive at all. I don't know, maybe it's those old man eyebrows that don't do it to me. The second oldest Bowers boy is kind of cute, though.

[JermajestyDuggar]

I think Charlie has some handsome features that I’m sure will attract some fundie gals. But I think Denver is one of the handsomest young men in all of fundieland. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

The three youngest Bons are currently competing in the Bible Bee this week. Chelsy, Carson, and Mitchell are not going with their families. This year is a first because all three will be competing in the same division. So they will be competing against one another. I would love to see Rebecca or Liz do well but I know the Bontrager girls don’t seem to be that into it. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

Allison wrote a post on why it’s ok to be single and getting married shouldn’t be the most important thing in your single life. Spoiler alert. It’s god. 

But anyway it makes me wonder how Sarah feels about being single. Allison seems confident in her singleness (seems is the key word). Are these single fundie girls as confident in their singleness as they lead readers to believe? I’m sorry but their parents raised them to be wives and homeschooling mothers as the goal. For them to pretend like that isn’t true is annoying. Hudson prays for a godly little wife every night for fucks sake. He’s just a kid! 

[browngrl]

1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Are these single fundie girls as confident in their singleness as they lead readers to believe?

I think that single fundie girls may say that being single can be good and if you asked them they'd go on about how happy they are being single and how much value they get in serving others, but I think it is all show. I think that in their heart they have strongly negative feelings and worries about being single. How could they not? Marriage and motherhood is held up as the pinnacle of womanly success and in their world everything else is second best and fundie girls know it. I suspect that if a fundie girl finds herself enjoying being single and in charge of her future then that enjoyment will be undercut by feeling like a failure for not marrying. Nothing like the patriarchy for knee capping women.

[Dominionatrix]

3 hours ago, browngrl said:

I think that single fundie girls may say that being single can be good and if you asked them they'd go on about how happy they are being single and how much value they get in serving others, but I think it is all show. I think that in their heart they have strongly negative feelings and worries about being single. How could they not? Marriage and motherhood is held up as the pinnacle of womanly success and in their world everything else is second best and fundie girls know it. I suspect that if a fundie girl finds herself enjoying being single and in charge of her future then that enjoyment will be undercut by feeling like a failure for not marrying. Nothing like the patriarchy for knee capping women.

 

What fascinates me is how this flavor of fundamentalism accidentally backed itself into supporting at the least the pretense of unmarried women's happiness. They started out with the gospel of contentedness in order to convince women they ought to appreciate even bad marriages and overwhelming maternity, but then I think didn't foresee that training up a generation to be "content where God has them" would mean that young women auditioning to be contented wives would feel the need to act contented as single women, too. 

[fundiefan]

10 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Allison wrote a post on why it’s ok to be single and getting married shouldn’t be the most important thing in your single life. Spoiler alert. It’s god. 

But anyway it makes me wonder how Sarah feels about being single. Allison seems confident in her singleness (seems is the key word). Are these single fundie girls as confident in their singleness as they lead readers to believe? I’m sorry but their parents raised them to be wives and homeschooling mothers as the goal. For them to pretend like that isn’t true is annoying. Hudson prays for a godly little wife every night for fucks sake. He’s just a kid! 

This isn't the first time she's written about being content while being single. I suspect she is trying to convince herself, not anyone else. Most people who are honestly content being single don't have to convince anyone that they are good with life as it is. They aren't focused on what isn't. They don't talk about being single like it's a consolation prize that maybe god is giving you something other than what you raised to be and you should be happy with that. 

Just like wealthy people who are comfortable with who they are don't talk about money all the time; people with fulfilling sex lives don't tell the world about how great sex with their partner is; people who are the best of the best don't tell the world that they are the bestest of the bestest. People who are honestly content in their lives don't need to convince anyone of anything. The whole nothing to prove thing. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

I am glad Allison has plenty to do as an adult fundie girl who happens to be single. She works, has friends, and is able to travel alone if she wants. So she probably does have a more fulfilling life than many SAHDs she may know. But we can’t ignore the fact that three of her brothers and her BFF sister are married and starting families if their own. She’s Bon kid #3 and Bon kids #1,2,4, and 5 are technically ahead of her in starting a family. You can’t put marriage, children, and family on a pedestal and expect your kids to be completely content when they are not participating in any of those things. It has to be hard for any fundie female in the same situation.

I just realized Sarah Maxwell is also #3 with Maxwell #1,2,4, and 5 already married. 

[Palimpsest]

2 hours ago, fundiefan said:

This isn't the first time she's written about being content while being single. I suspect she is trying to convince herself, not anyone else.

Yes.  The lady doth protest too much, methinks.

So God is teaching Allison to focus on life not on "seasons." Well, that blackens the eyes of the Botkin sisters who were still preaching about enjoying the "season of singleness" the last time I looked.  But otherwise the message is the same.  Get up and do something and enjoy the present instead of moaning about not being married.  If marriage is meant to be then it will happen in God's perfect timing. 

The aging population of SAHDs is beginning to worry many Fundies.  Even the girl's version of JTTH is running sessions on being content with their singleness.  They frame it as perhaps still serving at home, but perhaps (gasp) actually getting jobs with other Fundie families or businesses when they run out of younger siblings to raise.   The Return of the Daughters didn't work out so well for many.  Neither did IKDG or Waiting for Prince Charming.   

But what did they expect.  They raised a whole generation of young women to think that the greatest thing they could do for God was to become a wife and mother.   

And that God would plop Prince Charming down in front of dad to ask permission when the time was right.  That would preferably be in their early 20s if not sooner.   All a modest Godly young lady could do was pray and make lists of attributes she wanted in a future spouse.

Well, God failed in his duty for some of these young women who are now well into their 30s.  Allison is on the younger side of this generation and I expect will be paired off before too long.  If not, she's absolutely right.  You can certainly be happy and fulfilled in life as a single person.  And it is probably a lot better than being in a bad marriage.

But it must burn to see other people her age or younger getting married, especially younger siblings.  It must burn even worse to see an eligible young Fundie pick a Godless young hussy working at Sonic instead of a hardworking SAH servant of the Lord like her.  That is happening a lot too.

So now they are resorting to telling each other to rejoice in singleness because Paul and Jesus were single.   And celibacy is Godly even unto your dying day.  OK then. 

I don't hold out much hope for the Botkinettes, or Sarahs Mally and Maxwell getting married.  The poster girls for courtship are now the poster girls for Godly, hard working and contented singleness.

 

Edited December 6, 2018 by Palimpsest

[JermajestyDuggar]

Hudson is the only one left in the Bible Bee. His sisters must have been eliminated already. I don’t think that it’s a coincidence the Bon girls never seem to make it far in the Bee. I think the boys are pushed harder by their family due to their sex. 

Its so interesting that there are so many girls in the final rounds of the competition. Yet it’s never a Bontrager girl. Maybe those girls have parents who encourage both their sons and daughters.

ETA: of the top five in Hudson’s finals group, 3 are girls.

Edited December 6, 2018 by JermajestyDuggar

[JermajestyDuggar]

I watched the live stream and it looks like Hudson got 5th place in his category. He seems like a very sweet boy. However he has a very noticeable lisp and I’m sad his parents likely never got him any speech therapy. If he had attended public school, it’s likely he would have received speech therapy. Bontragers love to preach, talk, and sing. You would think they would have considered his speech important enough to receive speech therapy. 

And I will just add, girls won 1st and 2nd place in his category.

I want to add something else. The Benham brothers are SO ANNOYING. Watch the livestream at your own risk.

Edited December 6, 2018 by JermajestyDuggar

[goldbu]

1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

However he has a very noticeable lisp and I’m sad his parents likely never got him any speech therapy. If he had attended public school, it’s likely he would have received speech therapy. Bontragers love to preach, talk, and sing. You would think they would have considered his speech important enough to receive speech therapy. 

He's not the only boy in that family to have a lisp. I watched a video of one of their concerts and at least two of his older brothers had noticeable lisps/speech impediments.  

[JermajestyDuggar]

Just now, goldbu said:

He's not the only boy in that family to have a lisp. I watched a video of one of their concerts and at least two of his older brothers had noticeable lisps/speech impediments.  

Speech impediments run in my family too. Maybe that’s why it bothers me when fundies don’t get their children speech therapy. One of my family members had a huge amount of speech therapy and he’s finally understandable. I used to never understand 80% of what he said. Now I understand everything he says although his speech impediment is still there. 

[Jana814]

I had speech for a few years as well. It also bothers me when I hear a kid with an issue and the parents don’t get them help. I had a classmate in school who couldn’t say the “th” sound. He never had speech, the worst was his mother taught pre-school and probably had to look out for something like that. 

[singsingsing]

I had a noticeable speech impediment as a kid. They put me in speech therapy for a while but it was awful and most definitely did not help. I have no idea why. Eventually I just outgrew it. I still have it slightly, but most people don't really notice unless I tell them. So maybe they'll grow out of theirs.

[Jana814]

4 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

I had a noticeable speech impediment as a kid. They put me in speech therapy for a while but it was awful and most definitely did not help. I have no idea why. Eventually I just outgrew it. I still have it slightly, but most people don't really notice unless I tell them. So maybe they'll grow out of theirs.

Maybe they will. That’s what they thought would happen to my old classmate that he would grow out if it. Problem is he never did. 

Edited December 6, 2018 by Jana814

[singsingsing]

25 minutes ago, Jana814 said:

Maybe they will. That’s what they thought would happen to my old classmate that he would grow out if it. Problem is he never did. 

Yeah, I don’t think it’s right to just assume the kid will grow out of it. That said, I would imagine that speech therapy can be quite expensive and inaccessible for many people, and I kind of wish that speech impediments weren’t so looked down upon. If they’re very severe then they can obviously be a big problem, but beyond that, most of the issues come from other people being assholes about it.

Edited December 6, 2018 by singsingsing
Typo

[Palimpsest]

6 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

If they’re very severe than they can obviously be a big problem, but beyond that, most of the issues come from other people being assholes about it.

This.  Thank you.  Speech impediments have nothing to do with intelligence nor are they moral failings.  They shouldn't be mocked, although I don't think anyone is doing that here.

I have rhotacism due to a malformed palate.  I had several years of speech therapy and all it did was slightly improve my ability to fake an "R" sound in my throat.  It still takes concentration and if I am tired I can't fake it.  People mimicking me or trying to correct my diction is asshole behavior.  And some people still try it.  At their peril.

[JermajestyDuggar]

Luckily the Bontragers seem to produce employable adults willing to work so he can probably afford some speech therapy sessions as an adult if he wants it. 

Edited December 6, 2018 by JermajestyDuggar

[Themanda Duggar]

He can probably get speech therapy free through their school district, even as a homeschooler. I don’t know about Iowa, but I do know that in many states homeschoolers still have access to all of the services their school district provides.

 

[usmcmom]

Does anybody follow the comedian John Crist?  His IG story right now is of him watching the Bible bee. So funny!!  His IG account is johnbcrist, I believe.   Go have a look. 

Also, wow! Seems like a lot of pressure for those kids. 

[Jana814]

42 minutes ago, Themanda Duggar said:

He can probably get speech therapy free through their school district, even as a homeschooler. I don’t know about Iowa, but I do know that in many states homeschoolers still have access to all of the services their school district provides.

 

I’m in New Jersey my mother had a student who needed speech therapy and he got it though the town even though he was going to go to a Jewish private school.  This was in 2003 so I’m not sure if the rules have changed. 

Edited December 6, 2018 by Jana814

[Don'tlikekoolaid]

There’s kittens in the title so that means I can share this here, right??!! I have to share this cause it’s so funny!

Spoiler

@PumaLover this is to cheer you up for a minute.

[PumaLover]

Haha thanks @Don'tlikekoolaid! I love the puma (hence my username) in spite of the fact that we think that's what got our dog. All I have to do is show my cats the spray bottle and they hop down from the counter.

Re: speech impediments. My 7 year old nephew gets speech therapy in school and I still can't understand most of what he's saying. When he first started to talk, it was just gibberish and not actual words. His mother babies him and would just give him whatever he wanted, doing the baby talk right back to him. I'm not a degreed medical professional (my best friend the speech pathologist is!) but I'm pretty sure that didn't help him. His younger sister is in speech therapy too although I have always been able to understand her.

Is there such a thing as dyslexia for speech/sound? He reverses his sounds when he talks. Our dog's name is Sonora and he calls her Sorona, no matter how much we try to correct him. He also says lellow instead of yellow. But if I make him break the words down, he can say each part correctly. He just can't say the whole word correctly.

Also, I love John Crist! I was first introduced to him on here. I'm off to check out his Bible Bee video.

[Jana814]

I use to sub where my mother worked. Back in 2002 their was a kid in the class I was in who I couldn’t understand what he was saying but the other kids did. I ended up having this kid that summer as well & I understood everything he said. I’m not sure if he had speech or if I just needed to get to use to him.