Bontragers and Bowers 3: Kittens Having None of Their Shit

[JermajestyDuggar]

30 minutes ago, HereticHick said:

They let one of their sons drop out of the band and stay home--although partly because he was courting.

I just don't see why they won't let Allison stay home and work at the hotel. Mitchell and Bryan can be her chaperone and guard her precious fundy maidenhood.

 She'd obviously rather do that, and Bryn can't spend as much time working at the front desk or whatever since the baby came along.  Its insane that the Bontragers have to hire outside people to work at the hotel while they travel, dragging Allison along with them.

I think Carson may have actually stayed back once even before he started courting Lina. He has a penis so he’s allowed to make his own decisions 

[Lurky]

On 4/3/2019 at 7:56 PM, Lgirlrocks said:

Part of the problem is the older sisters helped raise and discipline their younger siblings. It’s hard to go from parent to friend. I don’t think I’d want to be friends with a sibling that disciplined me and maybe spanked me. Don’t know if they spank but they promote the pearls so I am assuming.

I feel the same way about a lot of Fundy SAHDs - like it's lucky the Duggars believe in having a lot of friends coming to stay, because Jana Duggar sharing a room with sisters she's parented, and disciplined (including most likely beating) and now if she wants to go out for coffee, has to be chaperoned by one of those much-younger siblings.  It must be easier if there's a sibling in age at home, like the Botkinettes, but being the only one of the age group at home would mean the boundaries of their world reduce.  If they were allowed out shopping/to coffee with a sister or two, and they marry, it means their chaperones are gone, or are much younger, so unless families relax the rules, no more coffees/thrifting for older SAHDs.  (Imagine what that's like as the last daughter!  So if Charlotte Boyer marries, what will Jessica be allowed to do?)

On 4/4/2019 at 5:31 PM, HereticHick said:

I just don't see why they won't let Allison stay home and work at the hotel. Mitchell and Bryan can be her chaperone and guard her precious fundy maidenhood.

I reckon it's because they need young, attractive women on the posters etc to encourage churches to hire them.  I don't think an all-male, or mother-and-sons group would be anywhere near as popular.

[JermajestyDuggar]

6 hours ago, Lurky said:

I feel the same way about a lot of Fundy SAHDs - like it's lucky the Duggars believe in having a lot of friends coming to stay, because Jana Duggar sharing a room with sisters she's parented, and disciplined (including most likely beating) and now if she wants to go out for coffee, has to be chaperoned by one of those much-younger siblings.  It must be easier if there's a sibling in age at home, like the Botkinettes, but being the only one of the age group at home would mean the boundaries of their world reduce.  If they were allowed out shopping/to coffee with a sister or two, and they marry, it means their chaperones are gone, or are much younger, so unless families relax the rules, no more coffees/thrifting for older SAHDs.  (Imagine what that's like as the last daughter!  So if Charlotte Boyer marries, what will Jessica be allowed to do?)

I reckon it's because they need young, attractive women on the posters etc to encourage churches to hire them.  I don't think an all-male, or mother-and-sons group would be anywhere near as popular.

I think the Boyers go out alone. The Bontragers do too. My opinion is that many fundies only force chaperones on dating couples. Because it’s way too much of a hassle otherwise. 

[Dominionatrix]

 

Has anyone else been sharing my fascination with the IG for Carolina Bowers Bontrager, Carson's wife? In general she seems very fundie Pioneer Woman-ish, and just generally quirky in a way that I think Jill Duggar is going for.

However, the above was a slightly more serious post for her, and I just cracked up thinking about in the context of Allison's recent blog about how sisters-in-law shouldn't lord their married status over singles. 

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

26 minutes ago, Dominionatrix said:

 

Has anyone else been sharing my fascination with the IG for Carolina Bowers Bontrager, Carson's wife? In general she seems very fundie Pioneer Woman-ish, and just generally quirky in a way that I think Jill Duggar is going for.

However, the above was a slightly more serious post for her, and I just cracked up thinking about in the context of Allison's recent blog about how sisters-in-law shouldn't lord their married status over singles. 

 

The Bowers girls are less obnoxious than the Bontragers. I really don’t mind them too much. 

[lilith]

9 hours ago, Dominionatrix said:

 

Has anyone else been sharing my fascination with the IG for Carolina Bowers Bontrager, Carson's wife? In general she seems very fundie Pioneer Woman-ish, and just generally quirky in a way that I think Jill Duggar is going for.

However, the above was a slightly more serious post for her, and I just cracked up thinking about in the context of Allison's recent blog about how sisters-in-law shouldn't lord their married status over singles. 

 

This would be much more convincing if she didn’t look like she’s about to cry in the picture.

[Black Aliss]

On 4/4/2019 at 9:31 AM, HereticHick said:

They let one of their sons drop out of the band and stay home--although partly because he was courting.

I just don't see why they won't let Allison stay home and work at the hotel. Mitchell and Bryan can be her chaperone and guard her precious fundy maidenhood.

 She'd obviously rather do that, and Bryn can't spend as much time working at the front desk or whatever since the baby came along.  Its insane that the Bontragers have to hire outside people to work at the hotel while they travel, dragging Allison along with them.

By traveling they can expose Allison to a number of GYM and God might call on one of them to court her. If she were working at the hotel she might meet a GYM, but she might just as easily meet a traveling salesman type.

[fundiefan]

On 4/3/2019 at 10:43 AM, HereticHick said:

"close by choice, after years of praying and working hard" reeeeallly sounds like you don't like each other all that much, but you are the 2 SAHDs on the bus and have to work hard to tolerate each other.

So much this.

If you have to pray and work hard at a relationship for years, you're doing it because you have to not because it's natural or a choice.

In truth all relationships take work, but it's not necessarily hard. It's give and take, compassion, understanding, acceptance and knowing you want the other person in your life.

If her relationship with her much younger sister was that much work, she's convincing herself to work with what she's got because there isn't a choice.

[JermajestyDuggar]

10 minutes ago, fundiefan said:

So much this.

If you have to pray and work hard at a relationship for years, you're doing it because you have to not because it's natural or a choice.

In truth all relationships take work, but it's not necessarily hard. It's give and take, compassion, understanding, acceptance and knowing you want the other person in your life.

If her relationship with her much younger sister was that much work, she's convincing herself to work with what she's got because there isn't a choice.

I so agree with this. I was just having this conversation with a friend who just got dumped by a long term boyfriend. She was talking about how much they had to constantly work on their relationship. I told her that it sounded like more work than good times and if it’s that much work in the beginning fun stages of the relationship, imagine how much work it would be living together, having kids together, and trying to manage bills together. I’m always amazed by fundies who seem to constantly work at a relationship that is just not worth it. Mostly out of biblical guilt. 

[HereticHick]

3 hours ago, Black Aliss said:

By traveling they can expose Allison to a number of GYM and God might call on one of them to court her. If she were working at the hotel she might meet a GYM, but she might just as easily meet a traveling salesman type.

I know you mean Godly Young Man, but I'm going to keep reading this as Gay Young Man just for luls.  

[Aithuia]

17 hours ago, Dominionatrix said:

Has anyone else been sharing my fascination with the IG for Carolina Bowers Bontrager, Carson's wife? In general she seems very fundie Pioneer Woman-ish, and just generally quirky in a way that I think Jill Duggar is going for.

Yes, partially because of how adorable Jubilee is! I do agree with @JermajestyDuggar that the Bowers girls are less obnoxious. To me, Carolina in particular seems like someone who, conveniently, fits very well into the fundie lifestyle. Looking back through the Bowers blog and her Instagram, she seems to honestly enjoy all of the approved fundie woman hobbies; she writes Bible quotes in fancy lettering and likes interior decorating, gardening, and cooking.

Cassidy, by contrast, was described on the Bowers blog as being interested in history, an avid reader, etc.; they seemed to consider her the "smart one" of the two sisters, and that's somewhat how she has come across on Joshua Bontrager's blog. She may feel more stifled by her fundie life than Carolina, especially given the constant traveling and his constant self-promotion. I'd certainly feel stifled in a marriage to such a self-congratulating twit. Hopefully Carson is better.

[JermajestyDuggar]

35 minutes ago, Aithuia said:

Yes, partially because of how adorable Jubilee is! I do agree with @JermajestyDuggar that the Bowers girls are less obnoxious. To me, Carolina in particular seems like someone who, conveniently, fits very well into the fundie lifestyle. Looking back through the Bowers blog and her Instagram, she seems to honestly enjoy all of the approved fundie woman hobbies; she writes Bible quotes in fancy lettering and likes interior decorating, gardening, and cooking.

Cassidy, by contrast, was described on the Bowers blog as being interested in history, an avid reader, etc.; they seemed to consider her the "smart one" of the two sisters, and that's somewhat how she has come across on Joshua Bontrager's blog. She may feel more stifled by her fundie life than Carolina, especially given the constant traveling and his constant self-promotion. I'd certainly feel stifled in a marriage to such a self-congratulating twit. Hopefully Carson is better.

Now I’m wondering if Cass knows she’s much smarter than Josh but doesn’t let him realize it. Because it would crush his fragile yet enormous ego. 

[Briefly]

22 hours ago, Dominionatrix said:

 

Has anyone else been sharing my fascination with the IG for Carolina Bowers Bontrager, Carson's wife? In general she seems very fundie Pioneer Woman-ish, and just generally quirky in a way that I think Jill Duggar is going for.

However, the above was a slightly more serious post for her, and I just cracked up thinking about in the context of Allison's recent blog about how sisters-in-law shouldn't lord their married status over singles. 

 

She looks sad in that picture.  Not at all like what a bride should be, sad about to cry - not happy tears, but sad ones.  Just my opinion.

[JermajestyDuggar]

6 minutes ago, Briefly said:

She looks sad in that picture.  Not at all like what a bride should be, sad about to cry - not happy tears, but sad ones.  Just my opinion.

I love the pictures of Cass and Lina together on their double wedding day. It looks like a gay wedding and it makes me snicker a bit since the Bontragers are so vocal about gay marriage being wrong. Plus gay weddings are way more common than double weddings these days. 

Edited April 7, 2019 by JermajestyDuggar

[fundiefan]

3 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Now I’m wondering if Cass knows she’s much smarter than Josh but doesn’t let him realize it. Because it would crush his fragile yet enormous ego. 

I think that this is the case more often than not. Josh is too egotistical to think a mere girl has brains. His wife plays along to get what she wants/believes she needs. But she's smart enough to outplay him. 

A position I can't fathom, but one many women use nonetheless. 

[picklepizzas]

On 4/5/2019 at 9:45 PM, JermajestyDuggar said:

The Bowers girls are less obnoxious than the Bontragers. I really don’t mind them too much. 

Oh man, not sure I can agree. Those hashtags “ilovemyhusband marriageforlife glimpses”; that incredibly bland advertisement for marriage that seemed like something a computer could generate; that artsy photo - it’s like she’s seen a bunch of other people post profound statements on marriage on Instagram and was just copying them without actually having anything original, heartfelt or profound to share (unsurprising since she hasn’t been married that long). 

[JermajestyDuggar]

57 minutes ago, picklepizzas said:

Oh man, not sure I can agree. Those hashtags “ilovemyhusband marriageforlife glimpses”; that incredibly bland advertisement for marriage that seemed like something a computer could generate; that artsy photo - it’s like she’s seen a bunch of other people post profound statements on marriage on Instagram and was just copying them without actually having anything original, heartfelt or profound to share (unsurprising since she hasn’t been married that long). 

I don’t mind generic fundieness. Sure it’s bland but it’s better than Allison’s obsession with her brothers being her stand in boyfriends. 

[Aithuia]

 

I am not a parent, but this photo from Josh's blog stresses. Me. Out. For the love of all that is patriarchal and holy, get that giant pillow and that stuffed animal out of that crib and away from your son's face. 

Edited April 7, 2019 by Aithuia
Accidentally added the photo twice!

[JermajestyDuggar]

10 minutes ago, Aithuia said:

 

I am not a parent, but this photo from Josh's blog stresses. Me. Out. For the love of all that is patriarchal and holy, get that giant pillow and that stuffed animal out of that crib and away from your son's face. 

It’s not advised for him to sleep with a pillow at that age. That blanket is also quite loose so he will unswaddle himself quite easily. So he will have a loose blanket, pillow, and lovey in his bed with him. That’s definitely a no no due to suffocation risk. 

Edited April 7, 2019 by JermajestyDuggar

[VVV]

7 hours ago, picklepizzas said:

Oh man, not sure I can agree. Those hashtags “ilovemyhusband marriageforlife glimpses”; that incredibly bland advertisement for marriage that seemed like something a computer could generate; that artsy photo - it’s like she’s seen a bunch of other people post profound statements on marriage on Instagram and was just copying them without actually having anything original, heartfelt or profound to share (unsurprising since she hasn’t been married that long). 

That doesn't strike me as specifically fundy so much as it is extraordinarily young and clueless.

[usedbicycle]

I don't think Carolina knows the meaning of sister wives... Yikes. 

 

[lilith]

Allison. Still taking homeschool field trips. Forcing a smile with her “best friend” siblings. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, lilith said:

Allison. Still taking homeschool field trips. Forcing a smile with her “best friend” siblings. 

Denver is closest to her in age and he is 5.5 years younger. That seems like a wide gap when you’re a young adult. She had Cass to hang out with on their 3 month long trips but now Cass is likely to be very busy with the baby. I also imagine Cass and Josh will tour with them forever. When she has two little ones, I really doubt she will want to tour. 

[hollyandivy]

19 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

When she has two little ones, I really doubt she will want to tour. 

Do you think her lovely husband will give her a choice? After all, the manly man is leading the lowly woman, according to his "wonderful" blog....

[JermajestyDuggar]

4 minutes ago, hollyandivy said:

Do you think her lovely husband will give her a choice? After all, the manly man is leading the lowly woman, according to his "wonderful" blog....

I hope so! Josh is quite full of himself and I wonder if he ever bothers to consider anyone’s feelings other than his own. It’s easy to be the perfect little fundie family when you only have one baby. When you have two in diapers and one throwing tantrums and getting into everything, shit becomes real. Since he’s male, he likely never had to do any childcare. He probably has no clue what he’s in for. Cass was second oldest so I’m sure her years of sister momming have prepared her more.