Dillards 69 : Write Your Own Joke Here

[HavetheyheardofBeyonce]

As we're speaking of Italian food bastardisations - I have never ever had such horrible pizza as I was served in New Zealand. Not even the ubiquitous "Pizza made with Emmental cheese instead of Mozzarella" that you are served in France is as awful. Somehow neither the dough nor the toppings were in any way, shape or form Italian. It feels like some Kiwi went to Italy, returned to NZ, and described pizza to some local who had never seen or heard about pizza before, but for some reason felt called to make it.
I love New Zealand from the bottom of my heart, but people! you need to up your pizza game!

NZer and pizza eater here (both at home and overseas) like most places there’s a reasonable mix of both awful and amazing pizza here.
Beetroot though - this food is everywhere in my NZ City. First in the kiwi burger and now featuring on the brunch menu and cake cabinet in cafes all over the place. Not a fan[emoji32]

[SweetJuly]

29 minutes ago, ElToro said:

Did they put beetroot on it?! When I was in NZ, they seemingly managed to sneak it into every dish I ordered. Beetroot paella, beetroot burger, beetroot curry etc...  You get the (soggy, purple) picture... Urgh...

I'm sure there was a beetroot version, but I wouldn't have (knowingly) ordered it. Although I do like beetroot in general.

Come to think of it, the main issue I found with "pizza" in New Zealand was not that it was inedible. It was usually some thickish and/or soft base with an interesting-to-nice tasting mix of toppings on a cream- or very sweet tomato-based (BBQ?) sauce, with just a bit of cheese which was not necessarily mozzarella. So, not the end of the world. Just not pizza. ?

[Rachel333]

Isn't the traditional lasagna of Naples made with ricotta? That's what I'm reading on wikipedia, anyway. 

[CarrotCake]

I don't know how far other countries are going with the glutenfree/vegan/hipster trend but here we have a beetrootpizza-base (like the cauliflower one). It looks really bad.

[HarleyQuinn]

Wait, I wonder if Jeremy will weigh in on her lasagna? He's the most Italian Italian who ever Italianed!

[llg1234]

Argentine (or Buenos Aires, at least) pizza is probably the worst pizza in the world. Don't tell a porteño I said that, though. 

[Carm_88]

I love pizza, but sometimes it's bad. You get that sad pizza with the droopy crust and all your toppings end up in your lap. That's sad pizza, sad pizza doesn't have to be bad pizza, but sometimes it's both.

[Four is Enough]

Don't like eating lasagna; don't like making lasagna. Sorry. Won't.

[viii]

I love, love, love lasagna. I like the traditional beef/tomato sauce one, but lately I've gotten into a kick of making a chicken alfredo lasagna. I fry up chunks of chicken (although ground chicken might work even better), and season it with Italian seasoning. I make alfredo sauce, and usually grate red pepper into it. Wilt some spinach and then layer with lots and lots of cheese. So yummy! 

[PennySycamore]

6 hours ago, Rachel333 said:

Isn't the traditional lasagna of Naples made with ricotta? That's what I'm reading on wikipedia, anyway. 

That's what I would assume from the recipe I referred to in my post a few posts above.  Recipes vary by region.  What is the "proper" way to make a lasagna in Naples is NOT the same as it is in Bologna.  Regional differences exist in American foods, too.  The right way to make cornbread is a good example. Typically, in the North, it has sugar in the batter while sugar in cornbread is anathema to most Southerners.  

Although, if you're going to make pesto alla genovese, it better damn well contain only basil, pine nuts, extra-virgin olive oil, garlic, course salt, Parmgiano Reggiano, and pecorino sardo

[Maggie Mae]

9 hours ago, SweetJuly said:

As we're speaking of Italian food bastardisations - I have never ever had such horrible pizza as I was served in New Zealand. Not even the ubiquitous "Pizza made with Emmental cheese instead of Mozzarella" that you are served in France is as awful. Somehow neither the dough nor the toppings were in any way, shape or form Italian. It feels like some Kiwi went to Italy, returned to NZ, and described pizza to some local who had never seen or heard about pizza before, but for some reason felt called to make it.

I love New Zealand from the bottom of my heart, but people! you need to up your pizza game!

The pizza place in my town is consistently ranked as one of the best in the US, but it's non-traditional. It took me some getting used to, but their "traditional" style pizza is not good. But the local variations on pizza are pretty good. The crust is decent, but the toppings are all fresh and work well together. I can't think of it as the same thing as an east coast style pizza, though. I mean, fresh, locally caught smoked salmon, capers, cream cheese, and dill is not exactly traditional. But it's amazing. 

We also have a chef who owns a restaurant that serves traditional Italian style pizzas from the Tuscany region. They are good, but I wouldn't recommend it to someone who is from New Jersey. 

[AtlanticTug]

10 hours ago, laPapessaGiovanna said:

 

Lasagna is typical of Emilia that is a northern region, maybe being herself from Friuli, another northern region with another different culinary tradition (well, technically she was born in Croatia, as we lost that part of Friuli in WWII) Bastianich forgot how to do it.

Anyway lasagna MUST be done with besciamella (bechamel), there's no other way to do it. Lots of besciamella, layers of pasta and ragú covered with besciamella and topped with Parmigiano or Grana Padano. Anything different is a variation and should be labelled as such.

Here you can find the recipe.

Thank you!! My family is from the Veneto region. I've also had lasagne in Croatia and they make it with bechamel, so I'm not sure what Bastianich is on about.

My grandmother was also always horrified about restaurants giving you olive oil with balsamic for dipping. In her house the most important rule was there was an olive oil for "eating" ($$$$) and an olive oil for "cooking" (cheap). And never would you ruin a good olive oil meant for dipping by adding balsamic to it.

[Glasgowghirl]

Here chip shops will dip pizzas in batter and deep fry them, I tried it once and it was disgusting. Glasgow and the West of Scotland does though have a large number of decent Italian restaurants and ice cream parlours though. 

[Shouldabeenacowboy]

Staying away from the Italian food debate, due to intrinsic bias (I am Italian and nothing will ever be as good as my late grandma's cooking was  ). I'll just say one thing: "Italian food" in itself is a variety of different foods.

In my region, the local specialties are stewed deer,  stinky cheeses, risotto with saffron and mushrooms, and polenta. We make lasagne with bechamel sauce. We prefer white sauces or pesto to tomato-based sauces on our pizza. To a Neapolitan, we are probably heretics  

[Maggie Mae]

10 minutes ago, Glasgowghirl said:

Here chip shops will dip pizzas in batter and deep fry them, 

Like a calzone? 

Spoiler

 

[Iamtheway]

A Swedish classic, that I’m sure Italians would cry over, is doner kebab pizza. Since I’m a vegetarian I’ve never had it my self but my American friend that had it while visiting said I’d get rich if I opened a shop in LA. 

There is some hamburger/pizza place up north that bakes a whole hamburger meal inside a pizza. Burger, bun and chips. I’m pretty sure that one is only ordered by really, really drunk people because 

Found a picture on a blog. Think he’s wrong about ”places” though. Think it’s just one guy.

Spoiler

 

[Maggie Mae]

4 minutes ago, Iamtheway said:

A Swedish classic, that I’m sure Italians would cry over, is doner kebab pizza. Since I’m a vegetarian I’ve never had it my self but my American friend that had it while visiting said I’d get rich if I opened a shop in LA. 

Not in LA, but "gyro" pizza is pretty popular here, in Alaska. It's just a deconstructed Gyro using pizza crust instead of the pita bread. There is only one (maybe two) restaurant(s) that has doner kebab, though, and neither of them offer it up in pizza form. I'm OK with that. 

[Alachantal]

Dammit you guys now I'm hungry! I just signed for buying my new place, maybe lasagna will be the first thing I cook in my new kitchen thanks to this thread haha. Well, first meal for when people come over, a whole pan of lasagne would be a waste on me and the cats haha.

When my ex and I were in Rome last spring we had the best pastas ever. But we didn't like the pizza. Could've just been the one particular shop we got it from, however. Or just because it's not what we were used to. I hope one day I get to go back and make better memories, and try everything (including the pizza!) all over again.

[laPapessaGiovanna]

10 hours ago, Rachel333 said:

Isn't the traditional lasagna of Naples made with ricotta? That's what I'm reading on wikipedia, anyway. 

It probably refers to the lasagna di carnevale. It's typical of most southern regions though, not just Naples.

1 hour ago, Alachantal said:

When my ex and I were in Rome last spring we had the best pastas ever. But we didn't like the pizza. Could've just been the one particular shop we got it from, however. Or just because it's not what we were used to. I hope one day I get to go back and make better memories, and try everything (including the pizza!) all over again.

Traditional Roman pizza is pretty different from the pizza that is mostly known around the world that's Naples' version. Here you can find the differences between the two types.

[Maggie Mae]

1 minute ago, laPapessaGiovanna said:

Traditional Roman pizza is pretty different from the pizza that is mostly known around the world that's Naples' version. Here you can find the differences between the two types.

Any chance you have a source in English? 

[laPapessaGiovanna]

5 minutes ago, Maggie Mae said:

Any chance you have a source in English? 

Sorry this is the best I found and I fear it's quite a bit confusing. It's written for readers who know Rome well.

[Rachel333]

I think people often talk about ethnic food like there's authentic Italian/Chinese/Mexican/whatever food and then there's the fake American versions when American ethnic food typically has a long, unique history of its own. Chinese-American food, for example, traces back to the immigrants who came to California in the mid-1800s; it's not "inauthentic," it's its own thing.

I also find it interesting to think about how I perceive tomatoes as being a huge part of Italian cuisine, or how I associate potatoes with Irish food, when tomatoes and potatoes didn't even exist in Europe until they were brought back from the Americas.

[VelociRapture]

1 hour ago, Rachel333 said:

I think people often talk about ethnic food like there's authentic Italian/Chinese/Mexican/whatever food and then there's the fake American versions when American ethnic food typically has a long, unique history of its own. Chinese-American food, for example, traces back to the immigrants who came to California in the mid-1800s; it's not "inauthentic," it's its own thing.

I also find it interesting to think about how I perceive tomatoes as being a huge part of Italian cuisine, or how I associate potatoes with Irish food, when tomatoes and potatoes didn't even exist in Europe until they were brought back from the Americas.

Thank you for this! My husband’s family is Italian American and this entire conversation was irrationally bugging me a (very) tiny bit.  

I’ll also add that differences were likely originally due to lacking the “right” ingredients as another poster stated. That’s the case for Irish Americans and corned beef cabbage at least - I believe that Irish bacon wasn’t really available here, so Irish immigrants switched to using brisket they bought from Jewish butchers instead. 

[Don'tlikekoolaid]

Last week I had a vegetarian Greek pizza from a little Italian place owned by a real Italian gramma and her family. It was beyond wonderful and now I have a brand new addiction.  I have decided to embrace this one!! 

[AtlanticTug]

35 minutes ago, VelociRapture said:

Thank you for this! My husband’s family is Italian American and this entire conversation was irrationally bugging me a (very) tiny bit.  

 

For me, in this instance it's just a bit weird to make fun of Jill for using cottage cheese instead of ricotta when it's not as if ricotta is the "proper" ingredient either, if it makes sense. I mean, if an American take on Italian food is an entirely different cuisine, which is fair to argue, then she's free to sub and modify as well...