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Joy and Austin 25: Guest Starring Grandpa Munster


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48 minutes ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

I'm early September. When I was younger, school started the day after Labor Day. (US Labor Day, 1st Monday in September.) My first day of 1st grade was my 6th birthday. Then, they changed the schedule and school started the last week of August. So, I got to see my friends on my birthday, but we were all still getting used to the school routine again.

The first college I attended started on the Tuesday after Labor Day, so I turned 18 on my first day of college. It wasn't awful, and I have some interesting memories because of it. (And a good pun--I was born on Labor Day. :pb_wink: )

My birthday is late August and my 1st day of kindergarten was my 5th birthday.  I left for college 2 weeks before I turned 18, I was one of those that was academically ready for school, at 5 but not maturity ready for college at 18. But I think a lot of that was my parents keeping me on a short leash and not talking about anything with me or what to expect here or there. I left for school and had no idea how to  "adult" My whole life had been do this or suffer the consequences and then all of a sudden I'm all off on my own with no supervision no rules and no idea how to set boundaries. 

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@allthegoodnamesrgone, I was also academically ready for school at 5, but I think some of my social difficulties all through school may have stemmed from me being almost the youngest in my grade. (The old deadline was October 15, so I had one of two friends who were younger. Kids could start kindergarten at 4 years old.)

My problems when I tried going off to college were partly being young, but mostly being depressed. When you stop going to classes and lock yourself in your dorm room, college doesn't go so well. I did better the semesters I took evening classes at the local university. Still, no degree, but maybe someday. :)

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My son turned 1 last Wednesday. I had to work that day so he still went to daycare and didn't know the difference. We had a party for him this last Saturday and I almost regret having it. We invited only immediate family and 2 close friends and still ended up with 30+ people to feed and entertain. My son was overwhelmed by all the noise and attention (me too honestly) and didn't want to be by anybody but mom. He did at least enjoy his cake and playing with his new toys (as long as I was within two steps of him). It sucks that I had to spend his whole birthday week getting things ready for the party and doing all kinds of shopping so we never got to do anything fun like I wanted- hopefully we can do something this week instead. I would honestly be thrilled if a family member decided to get married on my son's or any future kid's birthdays. All the family gathered together with someone else's dime, planning, and stress....sign me up!

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14 hours ago, nastyhobbitses said:

The fact that they're advertising "time alone with your sweetheart" is so weird. Is it common NOT to have alone time with your spouse at these things? Is this secretly a fundie swingers' retreat?

I'm guessing though, that many of the people there are parents so alone time with your spouse and away from your kids might sound appealing. Plus, we know about Fundies- they are all about the retreats, especially their marriage retreats.

For the record though, I would rather have my tonsils out and a weekend-long colonoscopy the same weekend!

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Joy is now shilling Just Fab in her instagram stories. Just an hour after Alyssa Webster did the same. 

So we have all these failed Thrive Market endorsements, Anna with her shampoo, Jill with her t-shirts, Joy with her scammy diet plan... 

I can't take it! It's a fundie Paid Partnership Pandemic!!1!1!1!

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Maybe some of you, like maybe @PennySycamore or @Bad Wolf can help me.

I'm 47 and was raised in Ohio, and don't remember 1st birthdays having such a big celebration. Were they always a big thing (at least 30-40 years or more), or has this custom evolved?

I've been to 1 big first birthday celebration, in 2012 in Oregon.

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As society became more child centered and children were not just accessories to the parents activities specifically for them and around grew them grew in popularity.  

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Just 100% bailed on a first bday for my friends’ kid yesterday! His middle name is Gideon and he was born the day after Gideon Forsyth. Anyway, I see this kid twice a week. I do not need to go see a cake smash and sing to a baby who has no idea what’s going on. 

My family was never huge on having to celebrate things on their actual date, so I wouldn’t fuss about it even if a parent missed the first birthday exactly. I fully know my lack of sentimentality bothers some people. Ymmv. 

I put on a couple conferences at the Branson Hilton convention center and it was very nice. Good rooms and wonderful conference staff. I’m not a Branson lover, but the hotel is just a couple blocks from the landing and it is a nice walk down to the water with a cool fountain show. 

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On 2/24/2019 at 1:34 AM, bal maiden said:

Every session speaker at that retreat is male. Ffs. 

And they are all "Pastors" except for one "Evangelist". Whats the freaking difference?  [I'm guessing Evangelist means they don't have a pulpit--they are just a free range mooching Biblethumper]

Since they are Independent Baptists and its all self-proclaimed titles anyway. I'd totally go with "Evangelist."  

HereticHick the Evangelist.

 

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We had a small party for his first birthday - and then I don't think we had anything for his second at all. Like - maybe the Grandma's came over for cake? 

I would love to have SMALLER parties - but when I did up the list for this last one there was a lot of "Well so and so are coming too... and these people were bummed they didn't get an invite LAST year..." So he had two friends, two cousins, three kids who are his age but he only sees when the parents get together for lunch or something. And then all the assorted parents. 

It was too much for me. I think we're going to do something completely different next year. Maybe JUST have his buddies over for a sleepover or something - 3 boys in my house is better than 20 people somewhere else.

 

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My sister’s friend had a big thing for her firsts son’s first birthday. For her second son’s first birthday she didn’t really do anything mostly because her mother was very sick & she just didn’t have time to plan anything. 

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We had small parties for family and a couple of close friends only for our kids' 1st bdays. In our home, with pizza, etc. We started doing bigger things like outdoor bdays at a local farm, etc once our oldest son turned 3. Mostly because at that point he had 6 or 7 cousins who were 3 and under plus a couple of good friends that age and there was no way our house could handle that level of insanity.

I also never did cake smashes because I just honestly can't get over the wastefulness of food that way. My grandmother always said to me that no matter what other categories people come up with in the world, in her eyes there are only legitimately two - people who know what it's like to be hungry and people who don't. And while my life is shockingly different now from when I was a child, I will never really get over being in that first group.

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5 hours ago, HereticHick said:

And they are all "Pastors" except for one "Evangelist". Whats the freaking difference?  [I'm guessing Evangelist means they don't have a pulpit--they are just a free range mooching Biblethumper]

Since they are Independent Baptists and its all self-proclaimed titles anyway. I'd totally go with "Evangelist."  

HereticHick the Evangelist.

 

Pretty much- a pastor has a church that he preaches at and usually participates in the running of (if not complete, unquestioned control of the running of). An evangelist preaches but does not have a church that he participates in the running of (at least not in a major way). They often travel during a large portion of the year from church to church to preach. One reason to be an evangelist instead of a pastor is if you have done something that would disqualify you from pastoring (divorce usually) you can still preach.

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18 hours ago, Audrey2 said:

Maybe some of you, like maybe @PennySycamore or @Bad Wolf can help me.

I'm 47 and was raised in Ohio, and don't remember 1st birthdays having such a big celebration. Were they always a big thing (at least 30-40 years or more), or has this custom evolved?

I've been to 1 big first birthday celebration, in 2012 in Oregon.

I remember going to my nephew's first birthday bash 23 years ago. He had a Winnie the Pooh cake that he smashed I believe.

I keep trying to think of ways to scale down our guest list for any future parties but we already limited it to just immediate family  two close friends and were still at 30+ people. I have 4 siblings and my husband has 5. All but 2 of our siblings have multiple kids each. My one sister didn't get invited because she's a bitch, but that would have been +4. My dad and his GF didn't come because they live out of state, +2. My husband's oldest brother also lives out of state so they didn't come, +7. And of those siblings that did come not all of their spouses or children could attend so another +7. If all of them had managed to come we are looking at 50 people easy. 

51 minutes ago, AtlanticTug said:

We had small parties for family and a couple of close friends only for our kids' 1st bdays. In our home, with pizza, etc. We started doing bigger things like outdoor bdays at a local farm, etc once our oldest son turned 3. Mostly because at that point he had 6 or 7 cousins who were 3 and under plus a couple of good friends that age and there was no way our house could handle that level of insanity.

I also never did cake smashes because I just honestly can't get over the wastefulness of food that way. My grandmother always said to me that no matter what other categories people come up with in the world, in her eyes there are only legitimately two - people who know what it's like to be hungry and people who don't. And while my life is shockingly different now from when I was a child, I will never really get over being in that first group.

My husband insisted on giving our son his own smash cake for his birthday party. I'm not sure why, its not like he was actually going to smash it to bits and we pretty much knew that beforehand. We do baby lead weaning so feeding himself and having sweets here and there are not new to our son. We didn't waste the cake though. We took home what our son didn't eat since he mostly ate off of one part of it and the rest was still in tact. 

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I recently skipped a first birthday for my cousin's kid. It's about a 5 hour drive, party started at noon, with their friends, his extended family on both sides and her extended family on both sides. I'd have been more likely to go if they'd chosen something small with just the family I'm related too and done multiple little parties, but something like that where I'd spend minimal time with the people I'm there to see and a lot of polite small talk with people I actively dislike and people I hardly know (cousin's wife's cousins, etc.) It just seems overdone when people have huge gatherings like that for a baby who doesn't understand and will likely be overwhelmed. I get wanting to include people, but a smaller gathering close to the day and occasional family get togethers (not focused on just the kid) seem like a better route (this is a cousin who often misses our family get togethers, which are usually 10-20 people)

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I didnt throw a first or second birthday party for my son.  He had no idea what day it is and had no interest in the cake either year.  I plan to throw him a party next year, when he'll understand whats up, but I said that last year too... :confusion-shrug:

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On 2/26/2019 at 12:43 AM, JesSky03 said:

My son turned 1 last Wednesday. I had to work that day so he still went to daycare and didn't know the difference. We had a party for him this last Saturday and I almost regret having it. We invited only immediate family and 2 close friends and still ended up with 30+ people to feed and entertain. My son was overwhelmed by all the noise and attention (me too honestly) and didn't want to be by anybody but mom. He did at least enjoy his cake and playing with his new toys (as long as I was within two steps of him). It sucks that I had to spend his whole birthday week getting things ready for the party and doing all kinds of shopping so we never got to do anything fun like I wanted- hopefully we can do something this week instead. I would honestly be thrilled if a family member decided to get married on my son's or any future kid's birthdays. All the family gathered together with someone else's dime, planning, and stress....sign me up!

I was the same for my daughter's first it was exhausting. I am prepping for he third birthday she is soooooo excited for it. But this is because I have told her about it and she has concept of what parties are now. I wish I just waited until she was older.  

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My kids have late Spring and early Fall birthdays. When they were babies, toddlers and pre-school aged, we took vacations, so no parties. They had a few parties in early grade school.

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Our granddaughter is having her first birthday at the end of March. It will be a big party as she shares a birthday with her great-great-Grandma who will be 95. It won’t be on the actual day but the following weekend. 

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I honestly have never known anyone who skipped a first birthday so reading here its a surprise. I didn't know so many people did. Birthdays have always really been big deals in my family with my parents getting as carried away as my brother and I did. From the first birthday to 21st when went to Vegas to celebrate. My nephew now has those experiences although because of my health problems and the health some of older relatives he ends up getting two parties one with just family, lunch, cake and present and the next day whatever he picked out with his friends. He naturally doesn't mind at all having two parties. 

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10 hours ago, AtlanticTug said:

We had small parties for family and a couple of close friends only for our kids' 1st bdays. In our home, with pizza, etc. We started doing bigger things like outdoor bdays at a local farm, etc once our oldest son turned 3. Mostly because at that point he had 6 or 7 cousins who were 3 and under plus a couple of good friends that age and there was no way our house could handle that level of insanity.

I also never did cake smashes because I just honestly can't get over the wastefulness of food that way. My grandmother always said to me that no matter what other categories people come up with in the world, in her eyes there are only legitimately two - people who know what it's like to be hungry and people who don't. And while my life is shockingly different now from when I was a child, I will never really get over being in that first group.

My kids all got a piece of cake to go to town with but none of them got a special 'smash cake' that was especially made just for the photo op.  Of course, my youngest is 14 so I think this 'tradition' has become more of a thing lately (I mean, it was around when he and my others were little but it has become more popular as the 'everyone gets a whole little cake all to themselves and a dedicated photographer to memorialize the event' thing to do than it was back when my kids were little. Heck, when my oldest (now 21) turned 1, my camera malfunctioned and I don't have any stills of it (I do have video).  And that was back in the dark ages when we still used film cameras.  Poor girl.  :-).   I know dogs now who have better pics of their first birthdays than I have of my oldest kid's.  Scratch that... I know dogs who have better pics of their first birthdays than I have of all 3 of my kids, even the ones who were born post- digital photography. 

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We celebrated our first son’s first birthday in an indoor playground: it was just my husband, him and me. I wanted to spend the actual birthday with just the three of us because to have some quality time together instead of confusing my son with a party and lots of people. Furthermore, the first year was very hard due to my post partum depression and it felt right to celebrate as a kind of victory that we’ve overcome that. It has since become a tradition that we take the actual birthday off work to celebrate just us and doing something special. For his 4th birthday this year we will then have the first real party with kindergarten friends. Our younger son is two months old (very mild ppd this time) and we plan on doing the same with him.

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I would throw a first birthday party for my kid, if I had one. Even if the kid doesn't care, it's a nice opportunity to see friends and family, and to eat cake. So what if the kid doesn't care about the cake, I would, the guests might as well. 

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Gideon's really cute in those birthday pictures and I sincerely hope he has a really excellent second year of life. 

As for missing birthdays... We were in the position of having to choose which of us parents were going to have to miss our oldest kid's 2nd birthday. I couldn't bear to miss it but my partner felt the same and it was a hard decision. In the end kiddo didn't even notice hardly and ended up with I think 4 different celebrations with different groups of family and friends and DP and I celebrated as a family with our kiddo when we were all together again. 

A few years later I missed our younger kiddos 3rd birthday due to work that came up last minute and took me out of town for two days. We celebrated as our little family of four the night before and our little human was thrilled to get an extra night of birthday lol.

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First birthdays ugh, so much stress and usually self inflicted lol. I don't regret it I suppose but never again either.  Also I have an Italian girlfriend and they had 190 people at her son's christening. Makes me feel better because Fuck.That. Poor buggers spent the entire precious day greeting people and worrying about having enough food instead of being able to enjoy it and take it in.

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