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Joy and Austin 25: Guest Starring Grandpa Munster


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On ‎1‎/‎10‎/‎2019 at 8:11 PM, neurogirl said:

Hubby and I are doing Whole 30 right now - no alcohol, no dairy, no grains, no added sugar. While I'm definitely eating higher fat than I'm used to, we did it as a reset to help with all the snacking following the holidays. You aren't supposed to weigh yourself except at the end but hubs and I both lost 2.5 lbs the first week? A lot of that was probably water weight/relief of post-holiday bloating, but I'm excited to see what happens this month. And then go back to my dark chocolate, popcorn, and sugary (but half-sweet!!) lattes. In moderation of course. Gluten makes me bloat but it's so obnoxious to be that millennial white girl being gf without an allergy so in social situations I usually just suck it up. Also pizza. But cutting back on grains and sugar going forward is definitely good for me. 

Speaking of anxiety, I just saw a new doctor and she literally (not basically, but word for word) told me to just run every day. I already run 3-4x/week, with strength or yoga 1x-2x, I rarely drink, am not overweight, etc. and she told me I needed to run 7 days a week and then my anxiety would go away!!!!! And then she told me I "had to take care of myself and not let my hormones control me." Bitch what do you think I'm doing at the doctor???? But she "doesn't prescribe meds for stuff like that." And then I burst into tears. At least she referred me to someone else? 

Awww I wish you both the best!! Speaking of food, I have a really good soup that you all might like! It uses coconut milk, beans, lots of veggies, and some spices. It has No dairy, no grains, nothing like that!

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2 hours ago, SassyPants said:

She likely lost a lot of the weight before she started the program. She’s young and Gideon is almost a year old. I don’t think she started this until the Fall, and GMF was born in February.

Yeah, she's full of shit. If she lost all but 2 lbs, of course she could lose the remainder on this program in a week. 

There is no magical cure or potion or program to lose weight or get in shape. It takes a concerted effort to eat correctly and, if you want to have muscle mass, do a lot of hard work doing some serious weight training. 

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16 hours ago, Kangaroo said:

It kind of reminds me of Jessa between Spurgeon and Henry. She seemed a lot more vocal about eating healthily aftershe gained weight during her first pregnancy.

I wonder, if Joy has a better outcome the second time, if she and Jessa will talk to their younger sisters when they get married about how to eat healthy when you're pregnant and gain a healthy amount of weight. As I recall Jessa ate better with Henry than she was with Spurgeon and she had an easier delivery. In a normal family, if older sisters have had difficulty with something I can see them talking to a younger sister, but we all know the Duggars are not normal.

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Joy probably didn't even realise the implications of her comment, to the person with anorexia. If it was Jill R then it would be a different matter, she tells people to ignore medical advice. That being said I hope she takes this on board and doesn't give similar advice to others.

 

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No, I don't think Joy realized the implications of her comment. Many years ago, I worked in a residential eating disorders treatment program. The families of our patients might make insensitive remarks, even while their family member was in treatment. I accompanied a patient to our small local hospital to have a feeding tube placed. She fought like a tiger and managed to make a mess of the 20 cc of formula they flushed into her tube. I was shocked when the attending physician made unflattering remarks right in front of the patient! People, even seemingly educated ones can be tone deaf on the subject of eating disorders. 

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43 minutes ago, Audrey2 said:

I wonder, if Joy has a better outcome the second time, if she and Jessa will talk to their younger sisters when they get married about how to eat healthy when you're pregnant and gain a healthy amount of weight. As I recall Jessa ate better with Henry than she was with Spurgeon and she had an easier delivery. In a normal family, if older sisters have had difficulty with something I can see them talking to a younger sister, but we all know the Duggars are not normal.

I would bet so, based on the concerns Jinger shared with her midwife. I applaud any and all stabs at educating one’s self, making better, healthier decisions AND sharing that information with others. Jessa is very much to be applauded here.

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19 hours ago, 19tacos&counting said:

Joy is posting about some weight loss plan. Only $14 a day which is $420 a month just for one person. Seems a little high to me. I could get many pounds of lean meat, fresh fruits and veggie, for under that 

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Those weight loss numbers for the health coach and her husband ... that would have them losing 3 and 4 pounds per week. smh

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On 1/15/2019 at 10:13 AM, singsingsing said:

The reality is that you don't need to spend $400/month to lose weight. You just need to eat less, and moving more will also help. MyFitnessPal is free. 

Exactly. This stuff is such a scam. For most people, losing weight isn't magic; it's only hard because it is really difficult to get into the right mindset. People would rather think of it as a temporary thing instead of a lifestyle change (which is why people often gain back the weight after the diet). During my last half of college, I noticed that I was gaining weight. Adult bodies are so much fun. For years, I knew I should watch my weight, but I kept giving up, making excuses, or acting like just because I exercised for 15 minutes I could eat a whole bag of chips.  Over the summer, I just decided to eat a mostly vegetarian (some meat, but only 1-3 times a week) diet, and during the weekdays I made sure that I had less calories coming in than out. On the weekends I indulged a little more, but still made healthier choices, like eating pizza and fries on a Friday night but no soda or extra calories. I've lost 13 lbs since July, going from slightly overweight to healthy weight.

What people really need is proper nutrition education and encouragement so they don't give up. That's it. But people feel so discouraged and unsure that they're willing to pay all this money for fad diets and coachs. It's gross that they just prey on people like that. 

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These things usually do make you loose weight quickly but they are not good long term. These plans don't include exercise plans or teach you anything about making better choices once you stop taking it. That is why a lot of people end up putting the weight back on. It may work brilliant for some people but for most it is a waste of time and money.

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On 1/15/2019 at 11:22 AM, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

Not to totally defend Joy, but aside from her SOTDRT she is also 21, I have a 21 year old stuff like this wouldn't really click in his head either to make him say Oh I should probably just take a pass on this comment or not.  Remember just because WE think something is common knowledge doesn't actually mean it is.  I actually did email her and was very nice and sucked up a bit and said she had a big responsibility and an influencer, that next time someone posts something about an eating disorder and is this good, just have them check with their doctor, since you don't know what this person's health is, any diet program could be dangerous.  I give some of these kids the benefit of the doubt in that they just don't know not to do something until someone tells them. 

I actually agree with all of your post and I think you did well in e-mailing her kindly. People are more likely to change their behavior if you are nice to them instead of sounding like you are shaming them and making them feel bad.

The only thing that seemed bizarre about her answer was that her first word was: ''Awesome!''. Sounds a bit of an aloof reply when someone just confessed they struggle with an eating disorder. Joy probably just wanted to sound enthousiastic that someone is interested in her product but is not very skilled in having more tact. Being tactful can certainly be learned. I know I have become a master of it since having a desk-job and answering a ton of emails daily. :pb_lol:

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I figured she doesn’t know what the word anorexic means. I know she has heard her mom talk about having an eating disorder, but she has always said just that she struggled with an eating disorder, not that she was anorexic. I can’t imagine there was any real comprehensive talk of it in their house. 

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9 minutes ago, Crooked.Stick said:

 I know she has heard her mom talk about having an eating disorder

In that family, eating disorder may mean giving in to the desire for a second helping of dessert while knowing that your husband wants you to be skinnier. I wouldn't give them credit for knowing about... well much, to be honest.

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32 minutes ago, TheOneAndOnly said:

In that family, eating disorder may mean giving in to the desire for a second helping of dessert while knowing that your husband wants you to be skinnier. I wouldn't give them credit for knowing about... well much, to be honest.

Exactly! I’ve always kept this thought to myself because I don’t want to discredit someone’s experience. However, I think they don’t have a grasp on such things.

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10 hours ago, Crooked.Stick said:

I figured she doesn’t know what the word anorexic means. I know she has heard her mom talk about having an eating disorder, but she has always said just that she struggled with an eating disorder, not that she was anorexic. I can’t imagine there was any real comprehensive talk of it in their house. 

For some reason I thought Michelle had said she was bulimic when she was a teenager I don't recall her issue being anorexia.

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She deleted that entire post that had the anorexia comment in it. And apparently someone DM'd her about it too, there's a screenshot of it on reddit.

 

 

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Joy may not know what anorexic is, but if you are building a following and attempting to make money from that following; you sure as shit better find out. She is going to be hardcore called out for making remarks like that. 

MLMs and fad diets are the same. If you are drinking laxatives or eating in a way that is unsustainable in the long term; you are going to fall back on the way that you used to eat and when you do that, you will regain the weight. Weight loss is a lifestyle and it's one that you have to take quite seriously. 

I hope that Joy is actually eating healthy and that she has learned from what happened in her pregnancy with Gideon, but if she is depending on an MLM product to help her not eat crap, she is going to be disappointed. Ben seems to be pretty into healthy eating, so I think that may be part of it for Jessa. 

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2 hours ago, Carm_88 said:

Joy may not know what anorexic is, but if you are building a following and attempting to make money from that following; you sure as shit better find out. She is going to be hardcore called out for making remarks like that. 

MLMs and fad diets are the same. If you are drinking laxatives or eating in a way that is unsustainable in the long term; you are going to fall back on the way that you used to eat and when you do that, you will regain the weight. Weight loss is a lifestyle and it's one that you have to take quite seriously. 

I hope that Joy is actually eating healthy and that she has learned from what happened in her pregnancy with Gideon, but if she is depending on an MLM product to help her not eat crap, she is going to be disappointed. Ben seems to be pretty into healthy eating, so I think that may be part of it for Jessa. 

I agree. I’m glad that the conversation from Reddit screenshot that @HarleyQuinn shared was so polite and respectful on both sides. I’m hoping it turns out to be a valuable learning experience for Joy and that she proceeds more carefully moving forward. 

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On 1/19/2019 at 2:08 PM, Carm_88 said:

. . . ., but if she is depending on an MLM product to help her not eat crap, she is going to be disappointed. . . .

Literally, no it won't make her eat healthful foods but if she believes that it will, that might help her to make healthier choices. The mind is amazing. That's why placebos work. (And I am so not advocating this or any other weight loss product, just saying that believing that something will help you can actually help you.)

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8 minutes ago, nolongerIFBx said:

Literally, no it won't make her eat healthful foods but if she believes that it will, that might help her to make healthier choices. The mind is amazing. That's why placebos work.

Not really, if she's believing in the product that's not talking about healthy eating or healthy choices. She's relying on pseudo-science and that won't help with anything long term. Plus, you don't need to spend $400 a month for a system to help you lose weight, you just have to be willing to put in the time. That's the problem with MLMs, they try to give people the easy way out while stealing their money. 

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55 minutes ago, Carm_88 said:

Not really, if she's believing in the product that's not talking about healthy eating or healthy choices. She's relying on pseudo-science and that won't help with anything long term. Plus, you don't need to spend $400 a month for a system to help you lose weight, you just have to be willing to put in the time. That's the problem with MLMs, they try to give people the easy way out while stealing their money. 

I think one of the biggest issues here is the concept of long term. Joy is 21. I doubt the concept of long term is anywhere on her radar. She just wants to be thin, right now, and will deal with the future, well, in the future.

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I'm glad Joy took on board the criticism about her comments to the poster who said she was anorexic. She at least answered back the mail and didn't ignore it or block the person.

Joy should though take advice from Jinger and Jessa on how they improved their eating habits after they got married. 

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I know Joy is technically an adult but this is all her parents fault again. If she had a regular way of making money, was in school, or simply had a husband that was a better provider than the ones her parents choose for her and her sisters she wouldnt have to participate in these fly by night schemes that are ultimately dangerous to her and other women to pay her bills.

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21 hours ago, Thumper said:

I know Joy is technically an adult but this is all her parents fault again. If she had a regular way of making money, was in school, or simply had a husband that was a better provider than the ones her parents choose for her and her sisters she wouldnt have to participate in these fly by night schemes that are ultimately dangerous to her and other women to pay her bills.

Her parents are definitely accountable for a lot when it comes to all of their children. But like you said, Joy is an adult now. As an adult I feel she is still responsible for her actions, words, and choices, regardless of how much blame her parents deserve. I don’t discredit that Joy likely didn’t realize she has/had many choices, but there were likely other options she could have gone for than a MLM that scams people out of their money by promising they’ll be thin fast.*

*If she’s even getting money out of the arrangement. It’s possible she isn’t being paid, but is getting a deal on the product instead. 

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23 hours ago, Thumper said:

I know Joy is technically an adult but this is all her parents fault again. If she had a regular way of making money, was in school, or simply had a husband that was a better provider than the ones her parents choose for her and her sisters she wouldnt have to participate in these fly by night schemes that are ultimately dangerous to her and other women to pay her bills.

What's up with these fundie women and their MLM product advertisement?

As far as I can tell, once they get at least halfway through their breeding capacity, the fundie woman resorts to Plexus & Co advertising, JRod style. (As a side note: what twisted way of thinking would make them feel that this, alongside "modest swimwear" sewing, is a more biblical way of making money for a wife, than, say, selling garden equipment or, God-forbid, teach anything other than baby care to an actual audience?)

Joy, however, has plunged into this hyperinflated business way  earlier than average. It is as if she's hoping this could bring her somewhere. First, she was interested in politics and was denied this route. Then she married that Pearl-worshipper hoping they'd become the new Magnolia's in between riding horses across endless meadows and ended up becoming his stunted helpmeet instead.

I feel sad for her. She doesn't appear too bright, but it is obvious that she wasn't given a chance to spread her wings at the dining room table academy. These fundies are so helplessly anti-intellectual. They can't seem to realize that, with greater knowledge, come greater opportunities. They are just fearful that new ideas would lead their willowy faith astray, reveling into the ignorance they can now gladly "justify" biblically, and pass this on to their unfortunate brood. Misery loves company.

What I hope is that Joy will get tired of it all and rebel for real, at some point. Austin may or may not back her.

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