Josiah and Lauren 12: Usual Duggar Social Media and Drift

[detroitrockcity]

It is the one down the road in MI and it was about 20 years ago to boot.  My brothers went to your “brother” school.   

[Shadoewolf]

The university is the one my brother graduated from 2 years ago, and my daughter got accepted to last year. I know both the Catholic high schools too lol! Small world!

[Meggo]

12 hours ago, detroitrockcity said:

It is the one down the road in MI and it was about 20 years ago to boot.  My brothers went to your “brother” school.   

Oh that's FUNNY. I graduated in 92 so I probably don't know them but... 

I still don't know what school you went to though. Was it the TINY TINY TINY school? 
OR was it the one around the corner from us? 

 

[detroitrockcity]

It was the bigger one on the “west side”.  Our name also began w an “M”.  I graduated a few years after you.   ?

[Meggo]

1 hour ago, detroitrockcity said:

It was the bigger one on the “west side”.  Our name also began w an “M”.  I graduated a few years after you.   ?

THAT one is the one I nearly went to! It was only a few miles from our house and the majority of my junior high class went there. You guys had GREAT dances. 

Heck - if I still lived in MI - I'd say we were all probably actual neighbors!! 

[detroitrockcity]

23 minutes ago, Meggo said:

THAT one is the one I nearly went to! It was only a few miles from our house and the majority of my junior high class went there. You guys had GREAT dances. 

Heck - if I still lived in MI - I'd say we were all probably actual neighbors!! 

No longer live there either.   So many people I grew up w flew the coop!

[LilMissMetaphor]

On 11/9/2018 at 10:23 AM, samurai_sarah said:

TRUST women!

I honestly don't understand what is meant by this sentiment.  Trust women to do what? Women aren't statistically better human beings than men.  Women are less likely to make bad choices? Do you just mean that women should always be trusted to do the right thing when it relates to their children? Because...that didn't work out so well for those women who drove off a cliff with their kids inside the car or those women who drown their babies in toilets after giving birth?

 

**and this is after I tried to change the topic earlier, dammit I got sucked in!!

[Eponine]

26 minutes ago, LilMissMetaphor said:

I honestly don't understand what is meant by this sentiment.  Trust women to do what? Women aren't statistically better human beings than men.  Women are less likely to make bad choices? Do you just mean that women should always be trusted to do the right thing when it relates to their children? Because...that didn't work out so well for those women who drove off a cliff with their kids inside the car or those women who drown their babies in toilets after giving birth?

 

**and this is after I tried to change the topic earlier, dammit I got sucked in!!

This is most often being used now in reference to women who say they've been sexually assaulted/harassed. Too many people have knee-jerk reactions to say those women are lying, while statistically they are quite unlikely to be lying about claims like that. (Something around 5-8% if rape claims are false - not just unproveable but false after being investigated.) It's really as simple as that - it's pretty unlikely that the average assault/harassment claim is false, so there is no reason to distrust them right off the bat in the vast majority of situations.

This was brought up in the context of abortion and women's health, though - there are also studies that show doctors are less likely to take women's concerns about their health seriously. Overall they're much more likely to dismiss the concerns of women than men. So there needs to be an effort to take that more seriously.

There is also the issue of certain groups of people who assume that every woman who has an abortion does it for "selfish" reasons - they don't want the hassle of a child, etc etc. This is also very much not the case. The vast majority of data shows the most common reason for abortion is for economic/socioeconomic reasons, but many women also cite things like "partner issues," health-related reasons, etc. So the idea is that generally, if a woman chooses to abort there is probably a good reason for it, not that she's just too selfish to keep it.

Overall there is just a pattern in society that things women say aren't taken seriously. Women aren't listened to like men are, so saying "trust women" is essentially calling out our society's tendency to DIStrust women more than men.

[samurai_sarah]

1 hour ago, LilMissMetaphor said:

I honestly don't understand what is meant by this sentiment.  Trust women to do what? Women aren't statistically better human beings than men.  Women are less likely to make bad choices? Do you just mean that women should always be trusted to do the right thing when it relates to their children? Because...that didn't work out so well for those women who drove off a cliff with their kids inside the car or those women who drown their babies in toilets after giving birth?

 

**and this is after I tried to change the topic earlier, dammit I got sucked in!!

It's the battle-cry of the pro-choice movement in parts of Europe. No more, no less.

[LilMissMetaphor]

1 hour ago, Eponine said:

there are also studies that show doctors are less likely to take women's concerns about their health seriously. Overall they're much more likely to dismiss the concerns of women than men. So there needs to be an effort to take that more seriously

I have heard/read this too.  Were these studies done only on male doctors/female patients, I wonder? 

(I just googled out of curiosity the stats for Canada this year.  Apparently there are approx 35k female doctors and 48k males.  That surprised me.  But it looks like in the youngest age groups, it's overwhelmingly female.  Which is nice to see--a bit more balance coming up!)

[Eponine]

3 minutes ago, LilMissMetaphor said:

I have heard/read this too.  Were these studies done only on male doctors/female patients, I wonder? 

(I just googled out of curiosity the stats for Canada this year.  Apparently there are approx 35k female doctors and 48k males.  That surprised me.  But it looks like in the youngest age groups, it's overwhelmingly female.  Which is nice to see--a bit more balance coming up!)

No it's the same across the board, basically. The most in-depth study I've seen related specifically to pain management - doctors were more likely to dismiss female patients' pain as psychosomatic or stress-related and less inclined to prescribe medication. That's pretty obviously a result of implicit bias that applies to men and women: the idea that women have more pain/other health issues that are "just in their heads."

 

https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/women-and-pain-disparities-in-experience-and-treatment-2017100912562

[LilMissMetaphor]

7 minutes ago, Eponine said:

No it's the same across the board, basically. The most in-depth study I've seen related specifically to pain management - doctors were more likely to dismiss female patients' pain as psychosomatic or stress-related and less inclined to prescribe medication. That's pretty obviously a result of implicit bias that applies to men and women: the idea that women have more pain/other health issues that are "just in their heads."

 

https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/women-and-pain-disparities-in-experience-and-treatment-2017100912562

In my own experience, I've been treated far worse by female nurses (esp. during childbirth) than by any male doctor! That's just my experience though.  I have also had some absolutely fantastic nurses of both genders, incidentally. 

[BachelorToTheRapture]

I've had many experiences of both male and female doctors telling me I'm lying about pain and other symptoms. In my experience younger doctors seem much more willing to help, but often they either try to dismiss me completely or give a prescription without taking any time to see what's causing the symptoms.

[singsingsing]

Anecdata, but in my personal experience it's typically been older doctors that want to dismiss my complaints and younger doctors, regardless of gender, who are more willing to listen, take me seriously and investigate.

[karen77]

maybe it's because men refuse to go to the dr unless they are dying, and so dr's figure it must be serious by then? haha.. its dumb though, seriously.

[miss_batson]

Based on these there wont be annoucment happening soon from these two. But also i could be very wrong ??

[JordynDarby5]

I've had a hard time being taken seriously by male and female doctors. Although the male doctors were the ones ignoring me when I insisted I wasn't pregnant when was I throwing up ever three to six months and made me listen to dozens of their stories about all the women who had a "surprise" pregnancy or insisted they weren't pregnant and were.  Excuse me Male Doctor what pregnancy has you throwing up every three to six months every year? Do you even noticed my chart where I've had about ten pregnancy tests you keep forcing me to take "just to be sure" and they all came back negative. Shouldn't that tell you something is going on? The women doctors at least understood immediately when I said it wasn't even possible. They just then assumed I must have the flu instead of bothering to do any work.     

[KelseyAnn]

On 11/23/2018 at 6:54 AM, JordynDarby5 said:

 Although the male doctors were the ones ignoring me when I insisted I wasn't pregnant when was I throwing up ever three to six months and made me listen to dozens of their stories about all the women who had a "surprise" pregnancy or insisted they weren't pregnant and were. 

 

Oh my God, no joke, But we had a school nurse who ask you (without fail) if it 'was your period,' for whatever you went to her with. 

"I have a splinter." 

"Is it your period?" 

"No, there's a fucking sliver of wood in my palm!" 

[louisa05]

8 minutes ago, KelseyAnn said:

Oh my God, no joke, But we had a school nurse who ask you (without fail) if it 'was your period,' for whatever you went to her with. 

"I have a splinter." 

"Is it your period?" 

"No, there's a fucking sliver of wood in my palm!" 

That's my mother-in-law, who is not a medical professional at all. I'm at her house on Christmas coughing up a lung one year and she says, "you must be on your period". Yes, of course, because bronchitis is a common side effect of periods. 

That's everything with her. Back 24 hours from an 1900 mile round trip for my aunt's funeral after her very unexpected death with black circles under my eyes and MiL asks if I'm tired because of my period. 

I could fill a whole thread with absurd examples. 

[grandmadugger]

1 hour ago, KelseyAnn said:

Oh my God, no joke, But we had a school nurse who ask you (without fail) if it 'was your period,' for whatever you went to her with. 

"I have a splinter." 

"Is it your period?" 

"No, there's a fucking sliver of wood in my palm!" 

I briefly saw a doctor who thought I was pregnant. 

“I woke up and my eye was matted shut. It is really itchy and pink.” 

“Could you be pregnant?”

”I didn’t know pink eye was a side effect of pregnancy.”

[RosyDaisy]

I have bad experiences with female gyns. There whole attitude was "suck it up buttercup, all women have cramps". I finally saw a male gyn. Got a correct diagnosis of endometriosis. Unfortunately, by that time, the only cure was a hysterectomy. Two large endometromas (one on each ovary) and a uterus that was scarred beyond repair. So, no, female gyns are not inheirently better than male doctors. Having said that, my primary care doctor is a woman, and I like her.

[KelseyAnn]

1 hour ago, RosyDaisy said:

I have bad experiences with female gyns. There whole attitude was "suck it up buttercup, all women have cramps". I finally saw a male gyn. Got a correct diagnosis of endometriosis. Unfortunately, by that time, the only cure was a hysterectomy. Two large endometromas (one on each ovary) and a uterus that was scarred beyond repair. So, no, female gyns are not inheirently better than male doctors. Having said that, my primary care doctor is a woman, and I like her.

Ugh, every female gyno I go to wants to chit-chat while their fingers are inside me. It's like, no thank you? I don't want to talk to you about work while I'm currently getting fingered? While men will just go about it and be done with it. 

[samurai_sarah]

3 minutes ago, KelseyAnn said:

Ugh, every female gyno I go to wants to chit-chat while their fingers are inside me. It's like, no thank you? I don't want to talk to you about work while I'm currently getting fingered? While men will just go about it and be done with it. 

I kind of like it, if female gynos talk to me.Different strokes for different people?

[KelseyAnn]

21 minutes ago, samurai_sarah said:

I kind of like it, if female gynos talk to me.Different strokes for different people?

I just don't like anyone talking to me with fingers inside me because of childhood trauma. It's not that I think it's weird that some people are okay with that. 

[HideousGreenShirt]

4 hours ago, louisa05 said:

I could fill a whole thread with absurd examples. 

Please do! 

I had a school nurse who without fail and regardless of what your complaint was, would give you a single paracetamol and send you on your way. 

Period pain? Paracetamol. Heatstroke? Paracetamol. Passing out from your eating disorder*? Paracetamol. Bleeding from band saw accident? Paracetamol. Vomiting and diarrhea? Paracetamol. Sports injury? Paracetamol. 

*It was an all girls boarding school and eating disorders were sadly very common.