Josiah and Lauren 12: Usual Duggar Social Media and Drift

[Scrabblemaster]

Usually when we are at my grandparents' house either my mum or my aunt will turn off the heating. It's always one of them sitting at the only place to turn it off while sitting at the table. Last time I was sitting at that place and I was freezing although I sat beside the heating. When my aunt asked me to turn it off, I faked it. Not proud of my action but we had big family disagreements* for less. And when my mum asked me to turn the heating off I told her I already did. And not long after that my grandpa told me to turn the heating on because he was freezing. Then I told the truth and said that I never turned it off because I was f*ing freezing. What I learned: Never sit at that damn place again and dress in MORE layers. 

*Once we had a huge argument when my aunt and my uncle were both insisting that their pullover was orange. One was apricot and the other one was indeed orange. That was hilarious! 

[Queen]

On 12/9/2018 at 6:21 PM, just_ordinary said:

I find it the whole trend of self improvement/analysing rather weird and frankly sometimes quite narcissistic. Maybe because I see some friends putting a lot of pressure on themselves and instead of being more open hide behind some pretty weird self analysed ideas. I believe that sometimes you can think too much about yourself.

I wish the self-help movement would just die out, like you said it can be narcissistic and I don't know if people acctually get much out of it or become better people. On the other hand, I've found analyzing yourself to be pretty helpful; I go to therapy and talking about my thoughts and actions and why I might be thinking/doing one way and how I can stop destructive patterns have helped me so much! But I do this together with a professional, not with the help of a self help book written by someone who makes money out of people's insecurities, maybe that's the difference? 

[BachelorToTheRapture]

11 hours ago, JordynDarby5 said:

We always tease my dad that he's gone native because he's from Minnesota and yet always the first one to get cold in our family.  I used to be the second but my medical problems switch that on me. Now there's nothing I love better then really cold weather. Thirty degrees, twenty degrees, and lower it all sounds perfect to me. It feels so good. It makes my inflammation feel better.  I keep my window open and wear shorts and a tank top. If I could I'd just lay outside with the snow beneath me and snow falling on me.  

It's 31, which is comparatively warm right now. I'm wearing my (knee length) skirt without fleece lined tights because it was too hot, including for walking my dog outside. I normally freeze pretty quickly, but I gradually adjust as winter goes on and it's been cold this year!

[Sky with diamonds]

I thought I knew what cold was from living in Newfoundland for most of my life. When I was planning to move to Alberta, I was told about the hot summer, but not the very cold winters. I will never get used to it.

I like to be warm, not too cold, or too hot. Too much heat bothers me. This apartment that I live in now is so much warmer than my old one, it's actually uncomfortable.

My mother on the other hand is always cold, even in the summer. 

[SorenaJ]

I'm always freezing. It's -1 degrees Celsius, I'm wearing my big winter coat, hat and gloves, and some girls are walking around in mini skirts (that just about cover their bum) with no leggins! How can they not be freezing? 

[bal maiden]

On 12/13/2018 at 10:21 AM, Queen said:

I wish the self-help movement would just die out, like you said it can be narcissistic and I don't know if people acctually get much out of it or become better people. On the other hand, I've found analyzing yourself to be pretty helpful; I go to therapy and talking about my thoughts and actions and why I might be thinking/doing one way and how I can stop destructive patterns have helped me so much! But I do this together with a professional, not with the help of a self help book written by someone who makes money out of people's insecurities, maybe that's the difference? 

Lucky you, that you can afford therapy. Plenty of people can't, and so turn to self help books in an attempt to do what you're doing at therapy. 

[TZmom]

13 hours ago, Sky with diamonds said:

I thought I knew what cold was from living in Newfoundland for most of my life. When I was planning to move to Alberta, I was told about the hot summer, but not the very cold winters. I will never get used to it

I actually prefer the Alberta cold to east coast winters. I mean,  it gets really cold,  but you warm up as soon as you go inside.  It's not the humid maritime cold that gets in your bones.  

Plus it's usually sunny,  which makes it a lot more bearable than those Nova Scotia (or NFLD, in your case) winters. 

[SassyPants]

53 minutes ago, TZmom said:

I actually prefer the Alberta cold to east coast winters. I mean,  it gets really cold,  but you warm up as soon as you go inside.  It's not the humid maritime cold that gets in your bones.  

Plus it's usually sunny,  which makes it a lot more bearable than those Nova Scotia (or NFLD, in your case) winters. 

We call that dank- 

[justodd]

2 hours ago, SassyPants said:

We call that dank- 

I live in Colorado. That word has VERY different connotations here. 

[singsingsing]

Just now, justodd said:

I live in Colorado. That word has VERY different connotations here. 

I must spend too much time on Reddit because my first thought when I hear the word dank is ‘dank memes’. Am I secretly a 16-year-old boy? ?

[lumpentheologie]

On 12/15/2018 at 8:56 AM, SorenaJ said:

I'm always freezing. It's -1 degrees Celsius, I'm wearing my big winter coat, hat and gloves, and some girls are walking around in mini skirts (that just about cover their bum) with no leggins! How can they not be freezing? 

It was -1C here yesterday too, and I was wearing two pairs of wool long underwear under my jeans, two pairs of wool socks, a shirt, wool sweater, wool jacket, big puffy coat, hat, mittens, and wool scarf.  And there were girls wearing one small coat, miniskirt, and very thin tights.  I was cold just looking at them, but then again, I'm basically cold blooded. 

I just got an amazingly soft and warm fleece onesie for wearing at home, and it's totally solved the issues husband and I had about heating---he's comfortable at 65 F (18 C), and I'm happy around 78 (25 C). It's like I grew fur!

 

[adidas]

It’s 26C here right now. I’m in bed wearing flanelette winter pyjamas, under a winter weight quilt (6 blanket warmth) and drinking a hot cup of tea. To say I feel the cold is an understatement.

[SorenaJ]

1 hour ago, lumpentheologie said:

It was -1C here yesterday too, and I was wearing two pairs of wool long underwear under my jeans, two pairs of wool socks, a shirt, wool sweater, wool jacket, big puffy coat, hat, mittens, and wool scarf.  And there were girls wearing one small coat, miniskirt, and very thin tights.  I was cold just looking at them, but then again, I'm basically cold blooded. 

 I just got an amazingly soft and warm fleece onesie for wearing at home, and it's totally solved the issues husband and I had about heating---he's comfortable at 65 F (18 C), and I'm happy around 78 (25 C). It's like I grew fur!

  

Yep, same. I have a cookie monster onesie that I wear at home when I am cold. Today I was studying in a really big and warm sweatshirt, and I was freezing in my room and considered putting on scarf and gloves, so I decide to check the temperature. 18 C. Alright then. I won't. I get soo cold looking at girls in miniskirt, I just wanna wrap them up in a warm blanket. How can they not freeze? 

Also some UK school uniform have shorts year round. Brrr! 

[JermajestyDuggar]

Marj has graduated:

[Rik_Bik]

Good for her. She never would’ve done that if she’d married Josiah.

[Queen]

On 12/15/2018 at 1:38 PM, bal maiden said:

Lucky you, that you can afford therapy. Plenty of people can't, and so turn to self help books in an attempt to do what you're doing at therapy. 

I know. I keep forgetting that therapy is sadly unaccessible for many people, if I didn't have economical support from my parents I would have a harder time paying for it. Still it's not that expensive where I live so with the help of student loans I think I could still afford it (it's around 200€ a month for two visits a week) even if I didn't have a somewhat wealthy mother who is also willing to pay for things her kids need even after they've turned 18. But yes, I'm lucky. (And I don't go to therapy for fun, I go because I have depression and PTSD, so I need it to manage). Health care should be a right, not a privilege. It's absolute insane that so many people all around the world don't get the care they need.  

[singsingsing]

Different things work for different people, and that's okay. Some self-help books are trash, some are awesome. The same can be said for therapy. I've had a couple really awesome therapists, and some terrible ones. I've read some great books in the 'self-help' genre and some really bad ones. I've personally found therapy to be about as helpful as self-help books. A bit of a mixed bag. What's really helped me is ADHD coaching. It's made more of a difference in my life than anything I've tried. Obviously that's because I have ADHD and it's kind of my main problem, but there you go. Different people, different problems, different things that work.

[feministxtian]

On ‎12‎/‎15‎/‎2018 at 5:54 AM, TZmom said:

I actually prefer the Alberta cold to east coast winters. I mean,  it gets really cold,  but you warm up as soon as you go inside.  It's not the humid maritime cold that gets in your bones.  

Plus it's usually sunny,  which makes it a lot more bearable than those Nova Scotia (or NFLD, in your case) winters. 

when I lived on the east coast of the US, I felt the same way about winter. Humid and cold, the kind of cold that just gets into your bones and stays there. That along with the endless dark, dreary days, trees that looked like skeletons made me seriously want to leave. Here in LV, it does get COLD (we've dropped below freezing in the valley with snow up in the mountains), but it stays green and sunny. Summers, however, are HOT HOT HOT. I like PHX for the winters and would rather scoot to the top of Mt. Charleston in the summer. Oh well, can't have everything. LV is sort of a compromise. 

[Sky with diamonds]

On 12/15/2018 at 6:54 AM, TZmom said:

I actually prefer the Alberta cold to east coast winters. I mean,  it gets really cold,  but you warm up as soon as you go inside.  It's not the humid maritime cold that gets in your bones.  

Plus it's usually sunny,  which makes it a lot more bearable than those Nova Scotia (or NFLD, in your case) winters. 

You remind me of my sister in law. She travels to Newfoundland every couple of years and she can't take the type of weather back there. 

Last time I was back there in the summer of 2007, I got extremely cold as soon as the fog rolled in.  

I miss Newfoundland weather. It's going to take me some time to get used to it if I move back. 

[Sky with diamonds]

8 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Marj has graduated:

Good for her! 

[HereticHick]

Marjorie got her degree in graphic design. And her 2nd (non-self published) book came out last week.

I wonder if Josiah is ever a wee jealous of what she's accomplished?

[just_ordinary]

On 12/15/2018 at 12:38 PM, bal maiden said:

Lucky you, that you can afford therapy. Plenty of people can't, and so turn to self help books in an attempt to do what you're doing at therapy. 

I agree that having affordable therapies (money and enough places) is a problem.  But I don’t think a self help book is a good substitute. That seems a lot like diminishing the real medical background mental illness has. You wouldn’t read a book how to remove a wisdom tooth either. Being a therapist is not an easy training- it cannot be replaced by people reading books. And I believe that especially in those cases a self help book can do more harm than good.

I find this mindset rather dangerous. Self help books can be fun for healthy people but it’s still a lot of bogus in my opinion.

[justodd]

1 hour ago, just_ordinary said:

I agree that having affordable therapies (money and enough places) is a problem.  But I don’t think a self help book is a good substitute. That seems a lot like diminishing the real medical background mental illness has. You wouldn’t read a book how to remove a wisdom tooth either. Being a therapist is not an easy training- it cannot be replaced by people reading books. And I believe that especially in those cases a self help book can do more harm than good.

I find this mindset rather dangerous. Self help books can be fun for healthy people but it’s still a lot of bogus in my opinion.

Okay, so what do you suggest people without the option of therapy do? I’ve struggled with mental illness most of my life, and have almost never had access to professional help. Does that mean I should have just said “whelp, sucks to be me,” and sat around on my butt doing nothing to try and help myself? I make about $40k a year, and the cheapest therapy I’ve been able to find would run me $200 a month - that’s not a reasonable option, so I do what I can to try and manage things. Some of that has been medication prescribed by primary care doctors, but a lot of it has been educating myself and actively working to try and understand where my issues come from, how they manifest, and how to overcome them. My medication helps, but understanding what’s going on inside of me and knowing how to communicate that has been invaluable. 

Are there people who should never be allowed near a self help book? Absolutely - my sister is one of them. Are some of them genuinely helpful? Yes. I quite literally would not be here to write this had it not been for one specific book about suicide that I basically carried with me every waking moment about six years ago. Some books can be really helpful for certain people, and it’s appalling to suggest they should avoid completely them because they’re an inferior option.  There are a lot of shitty therapists out there, too (I had one as a teenager), but I don’t think that’s enough reason to dismiss pursuing them in all cases. Some things work for some people. Other things don’t. Some things aren’t perfect, but can provide enough assistance to at least keep things going. Completely condemning what might be the only option a person may have access to just because it’s not the ideal isn’t just dangerous, it’s privileged as all get out. 

[bal maiden]

Heavens, I don’t remotely think that self help books abrogate the need for therapists. Frankly, I don’t think that the level of qualification that becoming a therapist requires is relevant to whether self help books are of value or not.  But anyway, I said people attempt to do the same thing that the previous poster was doing via therapy, but using self help books instead, not that we should all ditch therapy for our serious mental health conditions, and read One Happy Thought A Day or whatever instead.

There are some good ones out there, and there are some that are a pile of wanky bollocks - and that applies to both self help books and therapists. I posit that those posters who would do away with self help books as a genre have not read many at all, and have not had the good fortune to encounter a useful one. Or the misfortune to encounter a useless or damaging therapist. And, what of all those therapists who go on to write self help books? 

[singsingsing]

20 minutes ago, bal maiden said:

Heavens, I don’t remotely think that self help books abrogate the need for therapists. Frankly, I don’t think that the level of qualification that becoming a therapist requires is relevant to whether self help books are of value or not.  But anyway, I said people attempt to do the same thing that the previous poster was doing via therapy, but using self help books instead, not that we should all ditch therapy for our serious mental health conditions, and read One Happy Thought A Day or whatever instead.

There are some good ones out there, and there are some that are a pile of wanky bollocks - and that applies to both self help books and therapists. I posit that those posters who would do away with self help books as a genre have not read many at all, and have not had the good fortune to encounter a useful one. Or the misfortune to encounter a useless or damaging therapist. And, what of all those therapists who go on to write self help books? 

Thank you. Brene Brown comes to mind - whatever you think of her, she's clearly helped thousands if not millions of people, writes in the 'self-help' genre, and is a registered social worker with a PhD. One of the most beloved and lauded books of all time, 'Man's Search for Meaning' by Viktor Frankl, could probably be categorized as 'self-help' - it quite literally suggests how one might help oneself. What else is self-help? A couple of workbooks in the genre helped me deal with crippling anxiety and panic attacks more than any therapist ever did. And I've have multiple therapists, including psychologists, recommend self-help books to me. Frankly, people who feel they can write off the entire genre in one sweeping negative generalization have no idea what they're talking about, and it really sucks that they feel like that have to shame and belittle others for using a resource that is a) personally helpful and b) accessible.