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John David and Abbie 6: Flying Off to the Honeymoon


Coconut Flan

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1 hour ago, QuiverFullofBooks said:

[In my Southern US Protestant experience] Most bridesmaids stand during the wedding. My mother went to a Catholic wedding once where the bridesmaids sat and she was appalled - “It was so long the bridesmaids had to SIT DOWN!!”

FTFY.  Cute story about your mom's reaction to a Catholic wedding, but we can discuss weddings without mocking others or assuming that everyone does things our way.

Remember this is an international board comprising many different nationalities, cultures, religions, and denominations and we have different norms. 

Flocks of matching bridesmaids paired with flocks of matching groomsmen standing on the "stage" during the ceremony is fairly frequent in some parts of the US in secular and evangelical weddings, and it is certainly a Fundie norm. 

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5 hours ago, SorenaJ said:

What if there had been heavily pregnant bridesmaids? Still expected to stand? Help?

We have seen chairs provided for very pregnant bridesmaids in a couple of Fundie wedding videos.  Perhaps the Pecan Wallers was one, but I forget.  It is apparently unusual.  They usually have to stand there and suffer.

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Chelsy and John provided chairs for their very pregnant bridesmaids. But the newly pregnant Bowers sisters were not provided chairs. Since they hadn’t announced yet.

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I think Jill was also standing up for Joy's wedding and so was Joy for Kendra's.

I am not sure how long the ceremonies take. Here everyone except for the officiant sits down, also the bride and groom. And we don't do bridesmaids/groomsmen.

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The wedding was no more than 30 minutes long, which is about right for most weddings i’ve been to (i’ve only been to one Catholic wedding, all the rest have been protestant). Walk down the aisle, “transfer” the woman to her new boss, preacher talks, vows/rings, unity candle, kiss. I don’t think i’ve ever been to a wedding where the bridesmaids/groomsmen sat down. The littles were sitting on the stairs, though. Austin had to get on to one of the little boys at one point, lol. The girls were throwing flower petals on the stairs & then putting them back in the baskets.

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28 minutes ago, FrozenSmile said:

The wedding was no more than 30 minutes long, which is about right for most weddings i’ve been to (i’ve only been to one Catholic wedding, all the rest have been protestant). Walk down the aisle, “transfer” the woman to her new boss, preacher talks, vows/rings, unity candle, kiss. I don’t think i’ve ever been to a wedding where the bridesmaids/groomsmen sat down. The littles were sitting on the stairs, though. Austin had to get on to one of the little boys at one point, lol. The girls were throwing flower petals on the stairs & then putting them back in the baskets.

That explains a lot. Here most church weddings take about 1 hour. Depends on how much music and readings you want to have included. This is for Catholic and Protestant weddings as far as I know.

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Yeah, the first Catholic wedding I attended BLEW MY MIND. I'd never seen ANYONE in the wedding party SIT DOWN.

lol

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1 hour ago, CarrotCake said:

I think Jill was also standing up for Joy's wedding and so was Joy for Kendra's.

I am not sure how long the ceremonies take. Here everyone except for the officiant sits down, also the bride and groom. And we don't do bridesmaids/groomsmen.

And a pretty pregnant Jessa was matron of honor at Jinger's wedding.  She managed that long train very handily anyway.

Even among Fundie weddings there is some variation and fashions seem to be changing.  In the first few videos I watched of Fundie weddings the groom did a lengthy welcome - a sermon in fact - before the many bridesmaids trouped down the aisle and the bride made her entrance.  The ceremonies ran over an hour but the bridesmaids were probably only standing for 45 minutes.  In more recent ones the groom just says a few words and leads everyone in prayer before the bride comes in.  The Bontrager double wedding is a good example of that shortened version.

FTR, I had a mere two bridesmaids (who formed the rear guard instead of walking ahead of me) to my American MIL's surprise.  Mr. P had one best man.  We sat or knelt in front of the altar during the ceremony.  I think we stood for the actual vows.  Everyone else sat in the pews.  Well except for the CoE vicar, the Catholic priest, and the CoE bishop who alternately stood, knelt, or sat as they took different parts of the service.  Why all those officiants?  Long story. :)

 

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We had a full Episcopal Mass for our "blessing of the marriage" (we're Catholic but my annulment hadn't come through, so we were married by a Justice of the peace the day before, and yes, we celebrate two anniversaries a year, LOL!)

My SIL the Catholic nun gave a reading, my Jewish friend was there, and my sister and his brother (our attendants) sat in the front pew on one side, and my husband and I sat on the other side, and Mass progressed until we had our vows, then when communion came around (it was a VERY Ecumenical service) I turned to my father, right behind me, and said, "my pantyhose are fallling down, how am I going to fix this?" Dad almost choked trying not to laugh... Good times, good times...

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26 minutes ago, Palimpsest said:

Even among Fundie weddings there is some variation and fashions seem to be changing. 

I'm old school.  I don't think it's a real fundy wedding if one of the fathers doesn't give a formal speech about his vasectomy and how after the reversal his ejaculate was once again sperm filled and free.

Or stand in an alarmingly wide stance.

Spoiler

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One or the other, but if the crotch of one of the fathers of the betrothed isn't featured I don't consider it a real wedding.

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1 hour ago, Four is Enough said:

I turned to my father, right behind me, and said, "my pantyhose are fallling down, how am I going to fix this?" Dad almost choked trying not to laugh... Good times, good times...

How did you fix it?  Inquiring minds want to know.

46 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

I don't think it's a real fundy wedding if one of the fathers doesn't give a formal speech about his the other father's vasectomy and how after the reversal his ejaculate was once again sperm filled and free. 

And make all five reversal kids stand in a row for show-and-tell during the wedding.  

I sincerely hope the sermon about Steve's two scrotal operations was both a first and a last in Fundieland!  :laughing-rofl:

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4 minutes ago, Palimpsest said:

And make all five reversal kids stand in a row for show-and-tell during the wedding. 

How did I not know this?!  They were basically standing examples of what Steve's sperm could do?!

Leave it to Steve to make JB look like he has decorum.

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22 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

I'm old school.  I don't think it's a real fundy wedding if one of the fathers doesn't give a formal speech about his vasectomy and how after the reversal his ejaculate was once again sperm filled and free.

Or stand in an alarmingly wide stance.

  Hide contents

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One or the other, but if the crotch of one of the fathers of the betrothed isn't featured I don't consider it a real wedding.

It doesn't matter how many years go by or how many other fundie shenanigans I bear witness to. That wide stance absolutely kills me every time I see it.

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I'm Jewish, but we had a Catholic wedding as my husband is Catholic and told me that it was important for him whereas I didn't feel the need for a Jewish ceremony. The priest was super-nice and welcoming, he performed a full mass and gave me the Eucharist. I walked down the aisle to a traditional Jewish tune, one of the readings was from the Song of Songs, and we respectfully included a number of Jewish references in my outfit, the décor, flowers, rings and music. We had Jewish, Catholic, Protestant, Muslim and Hindu guests; the flower girls were Catholic and Muslim and my sister was my maid of honour and witness despite not being Catholic. 

The priest later said that he loved our ceremony and that I showed more understanding of Catholic doctrine and rites than most Catholics whose weddings he officiated. 

As just a religious ceremony is not sufficient in the European countries where my husband and I live, we had our legal civil wedding during our honeymoon. It was really easy, lovely, on the beach of an island I know well, and just the two of us with the Justice of the Peace and two local friends as witnesses. The JoP would not believe me that I wasn't at least half-Polynesian because I knew so much about and was so respectful of the local traditions.

Maybe I should try to infiltrate a Duggar wedding. If I'm stealthy enough to seem like a Catholic Polynesian despite being a European/Middle Eastern Jew, I might succeed at posing as a Fundie! 

 

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18 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Leave it to Steve to make JB look like he has decorum.

JB was at that wedding, possibly thinking to himself that he wished that he had gotten a vasectomy and a reversal.  Just think,  he could have paraded 16 reversals!

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I have never been to a wedding where the bridesmaids/groomsmen sit down! I've also never been to a Catholic wedding before, either. Most secular weddings take about 15-20 minutes. a fundie wedding takes about 30 minutes or so, because you've got to get a little preaching in there. 

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2 minutes ago, Knight of Ni said:

What the fuck is the point of that wide stance. He looks like he’s preparing to squat to take a dump. 

When I first saw the pic I tried to stand like that and...fell.  So, the tool gets points for balance?

I think he looks like a wrestler poised to take someone down.

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13 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

How did I not know this?!  They were basically standing examples of what Steve's sperm could do?!

Leave it to Steve to make JB look like he has decorum.

It was glorious.  But Steve didn't preach.  He sat in a pew looking as conceited as fuck.

It was Papa Bont who was to blame.  He called them all to the front of the stage to illustrate the point.  John would not have been there to marry Chelsy if Steve hadn't been de-snipped.  These are the other four products of the sperm released by Steve's restored vas deferens.  Thanks be to God for telling Steve he had sinned and for allowing them to be born.

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In the six weddings I've been in, standing was just what we did. The first row of pews or chairs were reserved for family, even at the Catholic wedding, we stood against a wall. Uncommon I think, but the ushers filled where we were supposed to sit and it would have been a spectacle for both bridal parties to walk nine or ten pews back and ask folks to shuffle over. 

Having had curls similar to Abbie Grace's before I thought straight hair was the only thing, then got sick, I'm curious how long her hair is when flat ironed. I'm guessing another three inches or so. It's really lovely!

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Has anyone seen who the officiant was? I'd swear it was my old youth pastor, Bob Gray III, but he has his own huge church in TX, though it is close to Alert. . .

bob gray.JPG

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34 minutes ago, Knight of Ni said:

What the fuck is the point of that wide stance. He looks like he’s preparing to squat to take a dump. 

Someone once called it, “the airing of the balls.” I just assume fundies wear undies much too tight. The wide stance must alleviate that a little. 

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2 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Someone once called it, “the airing of the balls.” I just assume fundies wear undies much too tight. The wide stance must alleviate that a little. 

I would assume all fundy men wear loose boxers to try to optimize their sperm counts at all times.

And I am not happy that your post caused me to briefly picture DPIaT in tighty whities!  :naughty:

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On 11/14/2018 at 7:46 AM, tabitha2 said:

He can’t force adults to sign TLC contracts hand over money to him. If withholding new cars or babysitting is all it takes than they are greedy  gutless  fools.  Get a used car and watch own kids.  Or Get Real jobs even it means the Duggar princesses have to scrimp and live without international trips. 

I don’t understand the hate regarding their financial set up? The Duggar’s apparently own over 300 properties,  a towing business, car lots, some members have real estate licenses, a small aviation company(?), have an on-going TV show, speaking engagements, etc....... That is a substantial income stream . It seems to allow the grown and married young families to have a stable middle class life, with the basic necessities and money for extras. It also seems to give the opportunity for the adults to pursue a variety of jobs, since they have a base income and/or a small business ready to work in. 

My guess is that the married kids get a house to live in rent free, cars, a monthly income, and work/ management of the businesses ( towing, car lots, properties)  - or they choose to add to the base income by pursuing their own careers - House Flipping, Preaching, etc....

That size of business, with that variety, I would think having a couple of accountants and marketing specialists would also be useful.

If JB is doling out every penny based on whether they let their kids watch Peppa Pig - it would be stupid to go along with - but if it’s just a regular family business, with the choice between a steady income stream and stability - or cashing out to get my share of show proceeds - I’d take the former. 

 

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