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John David and Abbie 5: Pancakes with a Side of Wedding


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11 minutes ago, singsingsing said:
11 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

and the best way to keep it moving in the direction you want is to add to the new conversation, rather than chastising people for talking about something you're sick of talking about. Same advice applies for thread drift, if you hate the direction the thread is drifting in, introduce a new topic of conversation. 

 

So true. The thing is, I don‘t always have a witty thing to add, you know. I‘m a reader-not-poster 90 percent of the time.  So it‘s more being sick of reading the same arguments over and over again. It‘s really hard to change the subject via mind power.

I‘ll try to take your advice: Why do you think it is that some posters have something to say no matter the topic while others only post if they think they really have something new to add? I‘m not shy usually, so that can‘t be it. 

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1 hour ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

I think this statement is what bothers me most. You're clearly within their "circle of trust" such that you're invited to some of their weddings. 

Yet - you'll post here (anonymously) about them - whether complimentary or otherwise - on a site that is 100% known to be anti-Duggar, anti-fundie, and full of snark towards everything they stand for/say/do. If I knew that someone I had invited to my wedding went online to "spill the beans" about my dress or my vows or where my reception was or who was there, etc., I can pretty sure guarandamntee you I'd find a way to "out" that person and remove them from my life. Because, honestly? It's just tacky.

I'm big on trust. In fact, that's my big thing in life. If my trust in someone is breached, that's it.

Just because i was invited to a wedding doesn’t mean i’m in anyone’s circle of trust - it means i was on a list & got sent an invitation. I post here, knowing it’s anti-duggar, because i very much disagree with most of what they say/do. I didn’t break anyone’s trust because i didn’t come here spilling the beans about anything - i said the wedding was nice. I didn’t say who was in the wedding party, i didn’t reveal any details on anything. I also don’t (and won’t) post anything on here that i wouldn’t say to their face, and if they were to find out that i post here i would own it. 

Now, about the submit/submission/transfer. It was never used by JD except when he talked about submitting to God. She used it that way as well, but she also used it in the submitting to your husband context. I know it is super common in lots of churches, but most weddings i’ve been to (including mine) have been “to love, honor, and cherish”. Hers was along the lines of “love, honor, and submit to”.  And the whole “transfer” bit...totally creeped me out. It was like it she was a piece of property that was being handed over. And yes, they want lots of babies, but i’m sure that’s not much of a surprise. He apparently wants to have more than his dad, according to the pastor that officiated. 

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37 minutes ago, prayawaythefundie said:

So true. The thing is, I don‘t always have a witty thing to add, you know. I‘m a reader-not-poster 90 percent of the time.  So it‘s more being sick of reading the same arguments over and over again. It‘s really hard to change the subject via mind power.

I‘ll try to take your advice: Why do you think it is that some posters have something to say no matter the topic while others only post if they think they really have something new to add? I‘m not shy usually, so that can‘t be it. 

It must be because you're much classier and wiser than those of us who never shut up. ;)

(Seriously, I don't know what to tell you. I totally 100% respect that there are members who prefer to mostly read rather than participate... but ultimately this is a discussion forum, and it's hard to influence the discussions that take place when you're not participating. I'm not sure there's any way around that, really.)

19 minutes ago, FrozenSmile said:

He apparently wants to have more than his dad, according to the pastor that officiated.

That's hilarious. Does he realize he married a 26-year-old woman? Maybe he's planning on adopting, or becoming a polygamist... (Edit: Yes, I am also joking. I don't seriously believe that John thinks he and Abbie are going to have two dozen children or that he's planning to join the FLDS. Next time I'll include the laughing face. :pb_lol:)

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1 minute ago, singsingsing said:

It must be because you're much classier and wiser than those of us who never shut up. ;)

Doubt that. It was a genuine question by the way, so thanks for trying for an answer in the brackets. 

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6 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

That's hilarious. Does he realize he married a 26-year-old woman? Maybe he's planning on adopting, or becoming a polygamist...

Probably it was just a joke. Realistically, they’re unlikely to have more than 6-8. 

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9 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

That's hilarious. Does he realize he married a 26-year-old woman? Maybe he's planning on adopting, or becoming a polygamist...

Could that have been a joke by the pastor since everyone must know that‘s not going to happen?

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Just now, QuiverFullofBooks said:

Probably it was just a joke. Realistically, they’re unlikely to have more than 6-8. 

Oh for sure, that's why I said it was hilarious. I don't actually believe he's deluded enough to think he and Abbie can have 20+ children, or that he's planning to embrace polygamy, haha! They could realistically wind up with 12 or possibly even 15, though, if there's a set of twins or two thrown in and they're reeeeally fertile! Yikes.

Also, we've now entered a magical and almost mystical time wherein there are currently no known Duggar courtships, engagements, or pregnancies. Enjoy it while it lasts, everyone!

3 minutes ago, prayawaythefundie said:

Could that have been a joke by the pastor since everyone must know that‘s not going to happen?

I'm very certain it was a joke, yes.

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In terms of Jessa or Sam not being in the wedding photos...

Maybe it's different when you have 18 sibs and oodles of nieces and nephews, but my sibs (and hub's sibs) + all nieces and nephews were in our wedding photos. 

Do people honestly think that Jessa or Sam aren't going to be in the family photos????

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Thanks @FrozenSmile! I agree about the transfer. Seen it for many other fundie weddings.  It's unnecessary.  For the hubris of the men I'm sure. This is a 26 yr old woman who is a nurse for goodness sake!

About that breakfast buffet.......?

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I can honestly never predict how many kids any of them are going to have (I mean, beyond the obvious, like Anna definitely isn't going to have 20). A lot of them conceived faster than I expected at first, but overall they've been reproducing at a slower rate than I would have predicted. And so many things can throw a wrench in the works (like C-sections).

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1 minute ago, singsingsing said:

I can honestly never predict how many kids any of them are going to have (I mean, beyond the obvious, like Anna definitely isn't going to have 20). A lot of them conceived faster than I expected at first, but overall they've been reproducing at a slower rate than I would have predicted. And so many things can throw a wrench in the works (like C-sections).

Or having to take care of kids 24/7/365 without the help of sister moms and laundry fairies 24/7/365

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3 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

I can honestly never predict how many kids any of them are going to have (I mean, beyond the obvious, like Anna definitely isn't going to have 20). A lot of them conceived faster than I expected at first, but overall they've been reproducing at a slower rate than I would have predicted. And so many things can throw a wrench in the works (like C-sections).

Plus, lots of couples think they want a bunch of kids, then you have 2 or 3 and realize this is tiring and expensive.  Most couples I know went through this thought process if they did want a family to begin with as did I.  Coming from a huge family like the Duggars or Bateseses,  I could see that as merely *a thing to say* not necessarily a full on plan. It's expected.  Michelle did seem to have a pregnancy obsession to boot. 

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Just now, Beermeet said:

Plus, lots of couples think they want a bunch of kids, then you have 2 or 3 and realize this is tiring and expensive.  Most couples I know went through this thought process if they did want a family to begin with as did I.  Coming from a huge family like the Duggars or Bateseses,  I could see that as merely *a thing to say* not necessarily a full on plan. It's expected.  Michelle did seem to have a pregnancy obsession to boot. 

I have a really good friend who wanted 7 kids (in her words, a circus to entertain). She married a man who is very religious and gave up her lucrative career to be at home FT. She had 3 kids in the first 3.5 years of marriage. She waited a couple of years and had 1 more before proclaiming, "4 kids is a lot of kids." Her last and final child, #4, is in college. LOL

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Did anyone else watch the standard, “we’re so happy to be married, my favorite part was the kiss, thank you for your prayers” video posted on the TLC website? John and Abbie varied slightly from the usual script, but not much. 

 

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2 minutes ago, Beermeet said:

Plus, lots of couples think they want a bunch of kids, then you have 2 or 3 and realize this is tiring and expensive.  Most couples I know went through this thought process if they did want a family to begin with as did I.  Coming from a huge family like the Duggars or Bateseses,  I could see that as merely *a thing to say* not necessarily a full on plan. It's expected.  Michelle did seem to have a pregnancy obsession to boot. 

Exactly. And even many people who use birth control, fully intend to only have a set number, plan everything - can have an “oops” baby messing up their plan. And many, many couples who plan their kids plan to have them close together.  None of them are far enough along in their parenting paths to tell anything. 

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7 minutes ago, Beermeet said:

Plus, lots of couples think they want a bunch of kids, then you have 2 or 3 and realize this is tiring and expensive.  Most couples I know went through this thought process if they did want a family to begin with as did I.  Coming from a huge family like the Duggars or Bateseses,  I could see that as merely *a thing to say* not necessarily a full on plan. It's expected.  Michelle did seem to have a pregnancy obsession to boot. 

Two of my closest friends wanted a lot of kids. They each have two and they say they are done. 

It’s funny because I knew going into it that kids are a shit ton of work. I knew I only wanted two at the most. After I had one I actually wasn’t sure if I wanted another! We call him “spirited.” That’s the nice way of saying he is completely exhausting. I can’t believe we had a second. 

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My best friend wanted a dozen. Her husband and her were unable to conceive. By the time they gave up (after trying in vitro), they realized they were much older than they planned and decided not to adopt. I know she misses having children but she is an awesome aunt (and pastor)!

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1 hour ago, prayawaythefundie said:

So true. The thing is, I don‘t always have a witty thing to add, you know. I‘m a reader-not-poster 90 percent of the time.  So it‘s more being sick of reading the same arguments over and over again. It‘s really hard to change the subject via mind power.

I‘ll try to take your advice: Why do you think it is that some posters have something to say no matter the topic while others only post if they think they really have something new to add? I‘m not shy usually, so that can‘t be it. 

You didn’t ask me, but I’ll chime in anyways:

I’d guess that some posters are just more comfortable sharing personal experiences and opinions online than others are. I’m much more comfortable using the written word to communicate than I am speaking in person*, so I’m much more likely to participate more on here than I would be if this conversation were happening in person at a FJ conference or something. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with coming here mainly to read if that’s what you (general you) enjoy, but actually participating is the best way to help the conversation move on to other topics. 

*I like that writing allows me time to really think through what I want to say and how I want to say it. I don’t really feel I have that opportunity when participating in everyday conversations and the serious nature of many of the topics discussed here makes me want to proceed with caution in many of my comments. 

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I just hope they have as many (or as few) as they want & agree on. But i’m sure that this falls under the submission umbrella, so she’d just have to submit. ?

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1 hour ago, prayawaythefundie said:

So it‘s more being sick of reading the same arguments over and over again. It‘s really hard to change the subject via mind power.

Your lack of participation doesn't give you the right to tell other people what they should and shouldn't discuss.

The conversation was already drifting and you brought it back.  Also...you don't get to determine the topics being discussed.  People are not here to post solely for your entertainment....not ghost writers on a payroll.

Do you even see the hubris of saying you want to read other people having a conversation, not participate much, but insist you have a right to direct the content of that conversation?  

That's not how it works here.

You have two options:  either contribute to the conversation in a way you enjoy and help steer it that way or ignore the posts you don't enjoy.  Actually the latter works either way.

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12 hours ago, SorenaJ said:

Abbie’s dress is so pretty! She looks lovely. 

And a breakfast buffet sounds like an amazing idea. I could totally use one right now. 

A breakfast buffet is fine, but couldn't they have used glasses, etc., instead of giving their guests cans and cartons. The pics I have seen look like the $3 breakfasts at the VFW or firehouse.

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1 hour ago, QuiverFullofBooks said:

Probably it was just a joke. Realistically, they’re unlikely to have more than 6-8. 

Abbie is what... 26? If she’s fertile and they don’t have any issues conceiving, she has 20 years give or take to have children. Depending on how they space them out and if they have any multiples, they could easily have a dozen plus kids. 

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6 hours ago, 3SecondSideHugger said:

Have you ever met a pilot? They’re annoying AF about planes. I am married to one. All his friends are pilots. They literally just talk about planes 24 hours a day. I allow him one plane decoration in our house, the rest he has to keep in his office. I allowed 2 plane things at our wedding and that was it. It’s seriously so annoying. This comes up often in my Pilot Families groups about aviation decorations. My husband at least had the restraint not to suggest more planes for wedding because he thought that’d be too much. It’s also quite simple to find plane/travel decorations but not so much nursing or healthcare (as Abby and I both work in). Like I’m not gonna have a brain diagram at my wedding. It’s an easy theme for airplanes lol

THIS. OH, yes. My husband, his brother, four cousins, assorted nephews and uncles...no women yet....are all about airplanes, all the time. My son is not a pilot but works at an international airport in a non flight role. It is all airplanes, all the time when they are together, swapping the scariest stories possible and roaring with laughter about how they or a friend nearly avoided doom. These are stories I don't find funny...?  My husband's office is full of air art and I park my ancient VW jetta under the fuselage of a Cessna suspended from the ceiling of our garage. The wings are in the basement. It will work someday, but currently is the delight of all the children in the neighborhood...(YOU live in the house with the airplane in the garage! Cool!)

 

I should mention the nearest airport is miles and miles away. Several of his friends live ON an airstrip. Like golf condos for pilots...

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