John David and Abbie 5: Pancakes with a Side of Wedding

[karen77]

2 hours ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

I never say anything about fast courtships/engagements, I was engaged 3 months after meeting my now husband and married 6 months later, it can and does happen a lot. For many people when you know you know and we don't like waiting.  I've been married for 22 years now. 

We were the same 2 months engaged, then 8 months more married.

51 minutes ago, SorenaJ said:

Maybe Jill and Derick put less emphasis on dressy clothes, and spend their mental energy on something else. Sam looks perfectly fine dressed for a wedding, it's not like he was gonna be in the official photos. 

To my parents wedding I wore black skinny jeans, a checked shirt and converse. I was neither under- nor overdressed, but average.

yeah, posting instagrams posts with #besthubbyevah! etc.

[formergothardite]

1 hour ago, singsingsing said:

Right now Abbie is basically the female equivalent of what Derick was a few years ago.

People had so much hope for him! I sure hope she isn't another Derick. 

[Daisy0322]

6 hours ago, VeryNikeSeamstress said:

Bacon and Eggs, now with Godly clearance for makin' bacon.

I want to see more pictures! Still no new Duggar jestation announcements?

Godly clearance for makin bacon should be the next thread title haha

Y'all jessa looks fine... I have no idea how to dress myself post baby either. I'm back at my pre baby weight but damn things don't go back to thier orgianal spot! I try super hard and look frumpy a lot. It's like being a teenager again in some ways... she's a shitty person but we don't need to be picky about clothing choices and in all reality aren't that bad.

[SassyPants]

27 minutes ago, Mama Mia said:

SAHM would have been MY dream job. I never had the opportunity, I had to work. As is true for many millions of women with children. Throughout time. I was fortunate enough to go to college ( while I had small children) so that my  career choices were decent, but I still would have preferred to be home with my kids. My grandma who worked an assembly line would have too. I really don’t understand this extra value people put on a career. I understand the problem here, is that it’s seen as their only option. But it should be acknowledged that it’s an option that works for many, many families with children. And that it isn’t an option for many ( most?) families. 

I think the issue is not having the choice to be at home or to go to work. Education provides choices. Skills provide choices. Upbringing provides choices. These girls have none of those choices. And, yes, necessity narrows choices, but if it were not for the TV show, these girls would be in more difficult situations.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

5 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

I think the issue is not having the choice to be at home or to go to work. Education provides choices. Skills provide choices. Upbringing provides choices. These girls have none of those choices. And, yes, necessity narrows choices, but if it were not for the TV show, these girls would be in more difficult situations.

I agree and that being the case if she chooses to stay home when she has kids that's a very valid option and not a tragedy.

I was a SAHM for 15 years and it was the best choice for my family.  She has a career so whether she chooses to continue or not after kids is up to her.

[SapphireSlytherin]

3 hours ago, FrozenSmile said:

Well, since i’ve never even spoken one single word to Abbie, her reaction about me would be “Who?” So no, they probably could care less that i’m here. Most of the people in my life gush all over the Duggars & i don’t, so this is a nice outlet, even if i do mostly just lurk. I would call them aquaintances before i’d call them friends. I feel no need to protect them - they are the ones that put their public life on tv - but i also feel that i should show them some respect because they’ve shown it to me. 

I think this statement is what bothers me most. You're clearly within their "circle of trust" such that you're invited to some of their weddings. 

Yet - you'll post here (anonymously) about them - whether complimentary or otherwise - on a site that is 100% known to be anti-Duggar, anti-fundie, and full of snark towards everything they stand for/say/do. If I knew that someone I had invited to my wedding went online to "spill the beans" about my dress or my vows or where my reception was or who was there, etc., I can pretty sure guarandamntee you I'd find a way to "out" that person and remove them from my life. Because, honestly? It's just tacky.

I'm big on trust. In fact, that's my big thing in life. If my trust in someone is breached, that's it.

[BlondeIdol]

Honestly, I think Jessa/Jinger/Sam/all the guests look fine. I don't know how dress up of a wedding it was, even if there was a sit down meal. Besides most the guests aren't going to be in any formal pictures.

I like Abbie's dress a lot. Actually not too different from the one I wore. She looks good. 

Are there any pictures of the wedding party yet? If there is I couldn't seem to find them.

[HarleyQuinn]

It's hard for me to wish any couple happiness when they're trump supporting fundies. I guess I wish for them to get clues, eventually?¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

[snickers34]

57 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

I agree and that being the case if she chooses to stay home when she has kids that's a very valid option and not a tragedy.

Agree, plus the nice thing about being a nurse is that they are in such high demand. She has lots of options even within her career - she could work part-time or pick up weekend shifts if she wanted to. It doesn't need to be 100% family or 100% career - she could do a bit of both.

[singsingsing]

Sadly, Abbie doesn’t necessarily have any choice in the matter. It may be that she’s been told it’s perfectly acceptable to work as a nurse while single, but as soon as she starts having babies she needs to be a SAHM. 

[Jana814]

39 minutes ago, snickers34 said:

Agree, plus the nice thing about being a nurse is that they are in such high demand. She has lots of options even within her career - she could work part-time or pick up weekend shifts if she wanted to. It doesn't need to be 100% family or 100% career - she could do a bit of both.

Very true about the nursing field. I know of someone who is a nurse in a hospital. When her kids were really young she worked nights & weekends. When they got older they both became heavily involved with travel sports. She would work day shifts during the week so she could be available to take them to their away game & torments on the weekends. 

[Rachel333]

8 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

Sadly, Abbie doesn’t necessarily have any choice in the matter. It may be that she’s been told it’s perfectly acceptable to work as a nurse while single, but as soon as she starts having babies she needs to be a SAHM. 

I had a friend who met with Gothard and talked about her career aspirations and that's basically what she was told: it's okay to work while she's single, but once she gets married she has to stay home.

She was very fundie herself but was unimpressed with Gothard. Now she and her husband run a business together.

[lumpentheologie]

22 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

Sadly, Abbie doesn’t necessarily have any choice in the matter. It may be that she’s been told it’s perfectly acceptable to work as a nurse while single, but as soon as she starts having babies she needs to be a SAHM. 

I agree that she was probably told that, but she's a fully adult woman who can decide whether to believe it or not. The fact that she married a Duggar makes me think she probably has chosen to believe it, but unlike some of the Duggar girls, she has encountered a lot of people outside of her religion through work and school and has been exposed to other ideas. 

[prayawaythefundie]

So I guess five pages into the new thread, we established that some posters would defriend a person for sharing anything about their wedding on a snark board, while others think that people who willingly put their lives on tv can‘t demand as much privacy as others.

I don‘t really care as long as it‘s not my wedding. @FrozenSmile can decide for herself. She will have to live with the consequences if they find out. Who am I to tell her what to do or not?  Can we please move one now? 

Go ahead, downvote...

[Edhelfin]

...and here begins the pattern of deluded optimism.

Yes she wore a pretty dress. Of course she said she would 'submit' and got 'transferred' to her new male headship.

No, she is not a breath of fresh air, none of them were. She will be a huge disappointment but will probably have cute babies. And no, she will not work once they start coming along.

I give Abbie one year at most, before she starts spreading some pro-life bullshit while putting her 'expert's view' on it, a la Jill Stanek from Lifesite News who was also a nurse.

[singsingsing]

1 minute ago, prayawaythefundie said:

So I guess five pages into the new thread, we established that some posters would defriend a person for sharing anything about their wedding online, while others think that people who willingly put their lives on tv can‘t demand as much privacy as others.

I don‘t really care as long as it‘s not my wedding. @FrozenSmile can decide for herself. She will have to live with the consequences if they find out. Who am I to tell what to do or not.  Can we please move one now? 

Go ahead, downvote...

Uh... we have moved on. We’ve been talking about the wedding and about the limitations placed on fundie women and whether there’s any realistic possibility of Abbie being able to subvert that in some way. You’re the one now resurrecting it.

[prayawaythefundie]

3 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

You’re the one now resurrecting it.

Uh, no. There still is not one page without some sort of „but they trusted you“ comment (see @SapphireSlytherin).

[cascarones]

21 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

Sadly, Abbie doesn’t necessarily have any choice in the matter.

It gets back to the projection on a blank slate. We know her family is tied to ATI, the general belief practices and limited choices for women. The Burnetts are new on the radar for me and I was surprised she was working outside the home in a secular job, instead of within the community.  First Responder in the fundamentalist world seems to be a popular choice, but also loosely used as a catch all term. 

5 minutes ago, lumpentheologie said:

The fact that she married a Duggar makes me think she probably has chosen to believe it, but unlike some of the Duggar girls, she has encountered a lot of people outside of her religion through work and school and has been exposed to other ideas. 

Knowing there are choices, choosing them and acting on them are all very different things that can still be hard for worldly adults. Why do rational adults live in areas routinely destroyed by natural disasters, not buy insurance and be shocked when their life changes? Some understand and weigh the risks, some just grew up there and never give it another thought, some moved there for a reason. Marriage is sort of the same with strict groups. I'm bad at analogies this morning, apologies.

@singsingsing and the Single Ladies club have been great about reminding me when I forget I have mine with all the patriarchy happening in my life, because I can only see it on my own sometimes. Abbie being a nurse doesn't automatically award her people who challenge her views or upbringing.

I also feel weird with the Derick comparisons and potential, Derick went through a lot of life changing circumstances as a young man right around when he got married. His dad had died, his mom had cancer, he was in a foreign country. It doesn't quite seem level set for me.

[Pete Pickles]

7 hours ago, Kangaroo said:

Isn't it the Duggars that eat Turkey bacon?

Let's hope they didn't accidentally have the regular kind at the wedding. I say this mostly because I'm imagining watching the wedding episode and the fake drama and explanation by Michelle or someone with zero ounces of personality oas to why they don't eat pig products.

They don’t eat eggs either because that’s technically abortion. (Kidding, and also lying. They definitely eat eggs but lololol)

4 hours ago, JillyO said:

I'm surprised so many people are gushing that having the reception in a hangar is soo personalized and special to them. Serious question: Have we EVER heard Abby express any enthusiasm for planes? Outside of "I like what my man likes." I mean. 'Cause it seems to me that all this plane stuff (airport proposal, hangar reception, getaway plane, who knows what else there was) is very personlized... to John's tastes. So far, I fail to see Abby's tastes and likes represented at all.

I will never ever forget the day I saw photos online of my ex’s wedding. Everything about it was ALLLLLL about HIM! His interests, his favorite colors, his hometown (hers was the next state over), his parents’ wedding venue on his brother’s anniversary. She hates chocolate cake and they had a chocolate wedding cake. Her two cousins perform in a really good little band but he wanted a DJ instead. It made me sick for her but so happy I dodged that bullet.

i do NOT think that’s the case for these two, however. First of all, having just met in May (confirmed—I know someone who was at the speaking engagement in ada and is a member of that church) they don’t have a whole lot of shared experiences, but we know they got engaged in a plane or a hangar. (Sorry, I haven’t paid as much attention to these two so I don’t remember which.) Maybe the wedding reflects that memory rather than his career or interests. (That’s not to say his proposal wasn’t all about him. I do hope he took the time to make it special for her and to include some special touches that she enjoyed.)

[singsingsing]

2 minutes ago, prayawaythefundie said:

Uh, no. There still is not one page without some sort of „but they trusted you“ comment (see @SapphireSlytherin).

Sure, but the majority of the conversation has definitely moved on, and the best way to keep it moving in the direction you want is to add to the new conversation, rather than chastising people for talking about something you're sick of talking about. Same advice applies for thread drift, if you hate the direction the thread is drifting in, introduce a new topic of conversation. People are usually more than happy to pick up the thread, especially when a certain topic seems to have been run into the ground.

[artdecades]

on another note, i had a dream last night that Jill and Derick hijacked the wedding and the pictures to announce a pregnancy

[Jana814]

Just now, artdecades said:

on another note, i had a dream last night that Jill and Derick hijacked the wedding and the pictures to announce a pregnancy

I can totally see them doing that. 

[freedomfromfrumpers]

So who's birthdays and anniversaries are being forgotten because of this wedding?  I think today is Jessa's birthday??  Is she getting the shaft this year?

[Angelic83]

5 minutes ago, artdecades said:

on another note, i had a dream last night that Jill and Derick hijacked the wedding and the pictures to announce a pregnancy

Glad that didn’t happen up untill now. But it’s quiet in duggarland. No babies, no courtship, no upcoming weddings. Just cute pictures of the grandchildren

[sleepy_doggos]

As someone stated above, being an LPN in no way guarantees her access to people with different viewpoints. Many Oklahomans, especially in rural areas where I assumed she's working (Ada?) would be perfectly happy to encourage their sweet Christian LPN in her ways. Same for co-workers. The group think is strong here.
For example many/most of my graduate level medical professional classmates are devoted Christians and would approve of most if not all of Abbie's beliefs and assumed behaviors. Same region, not rural, even more education, same thoughts.